A/N This started from a discussion of how you never see people eat or stopping to go to the loo in science fiction. I mean what does the Hulk do? We thought it was time to redress the balance! This also partly happened (to someone we know). They were in Korea phoning home asking how to operate loo ( it was in a hotel and the operating instructions in Korean) who says life doesn't make the best comedy?
Is this too much why not comment and say?
Vidieo Eurovision AI song contest.
Factory Toilets 8G (Mixed Gender)
Jenny's POV
I was sitting on the toilet thinking, trying to recall the Terms and Conditions, like an epic poem, when some newbie walked in. The robots didn't exactly approve of privacy on the toilet. The cubicles came roughly up waist-height when you're sitting. Everyone had to sit: Joe hated it.
"Excuse me," said the girl, "Do you know where the toilet paper is?"
"Our robot overlords don't approve of toilet paper. I think they find our whole plumbing system deeply repulsive. Is this your first time ?" She nodded. "Unfortunately all the instructions and controls are in Japanese. Don't worry I'll walk you through it. What's your name?"
"93-21. how do I get out of my..."
"You don't, it's printed on; just undo the very big front to back zip."
"This is gross," said 93-21.
"It gets worse. Sit down but don't go. Use the diagrams to select front or back. Press that triangular button near the bottom left."
"The one next to the square?" said 93-21
"No that's the seat temperature control," I said
"The blue one? Look I really need to go."
"Don't worry, not the blue one, the one below the direction controls."
"Okay, I got it."
"That asks permission to go. It will take a couple of seconds, then you should get permission. Don't, don't, whatever you do, go before then, otherwise you will get a lightning bolt!"
"I have to ask permission? This is really bad," moaned the girl. I wondered if I should tell her that sometimes the permission system was overloaded and you had to hang on for a minutes before it got back to you.
"The robots really managed to take all the fun out of slavery. I will never forgive them for that. That and the complete loss of autonomy, liberty and the relentless use of punishment, but mostly the fact they really managed to it without any style or sense of humour. That really did it for me," I said. 93-21 laughed.
"I guess they are just taking the p**s. Oh. My collar said I have permission. What's that weird tingling music?" I laughed at her joke.
"Don't worry about it, just go," I said.
From where I sat, it sounded like she had been holding on for a while.
"Now it gets complicated. You see that button that looks like some kind of house? The third row, the fourth column," I started.
"OK!" she said.
"Press that and hold still."
"Oh, this is gross. A pressure washer for your undercarriage" said 9321 squirming.
"You get used to it. You can control the temperature with the 'arrows'. the 'wave' controls oscillation or pulsation. The blue and red buttons control the dryer," I said before I heard a hand-dryer noise start. 93-21 shrieked.
"The other stages are automatic. Don't move. So you're new huh?" I said deliberately distracting her.
"They caught me a couple weeks ago, out near Austin. ow. I'm not supposed to say that, am I? I surrendered near city 19. I was just glad I survived" She talked for a couple more minutes, but I had a whole bunch of status-updates streaming through my collar and didn't pay attention.
I managed to tune back in on "Do you have any good bits of advice?"
"If you are caught doing something and are given the option of going to detention or being experimented on, take it: being experimented on looks good on your profile; being in detention doesn't. During an experiment, they strap you to a chair and show you coloured displays, play weird sounds and you get electrocuted every so often," I lectured.
"What's detention like?" She asked
"They strap you to a chair. The machine phones up someone, at random, in one of the Controlled Sectors. If someone's dumb enough to answer a phone in a war zone, you have to ask them to do a Newly Subjugated Slave Satisfaction Survey. If they put the phone down, you get an electric shock. You have to get 100 surveys done completely before you're let out of detention. I think they do it to remind you how awful it is outside the Factory."
"Sounds delightful!" said 9321
"I'm Jenny. 56-42. I should friend you on SlaveNet" I said. I was her second SlaveNet friend.
93-21 left, but I forgot to ask her real name. I realised that I had got to the position when I was saying things like 'you get used to it' to people all the time. But we shouldn't get used to it. This is their world, not my world. I refuse to get used to it. Then my collar said,
"You have permission for forwarding liquid disposal." Followed by that tinkly music. Bliss. You know, IF, no WHEN, we overthrow the machines and get things back together again, I'm going to get one of these toilet seats, I promised myself. I mean you shouldn't just crap, rub yourself with dry paper and think you're clean, that's disgusting. It was good the machines weren't getting to me.
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