Hate Me, Love Me:
Chapter Five: The Lioness and the Mouse
“Usually on Fridays you go to the bookstore. Why are you here?” Ivan asked as he placed the new trunks on the shelf inside the glass counter along with the stickers and wheels. His brown eyes were suspicious as to why I suddenly showed up in his store rather than calling him to tell him I was in the bookstore buying more books.
It was my routine on every Friday. While everyone were planning their weekends with their friends and Shirley and Celeste gushing about the party both of them got invited to, I had a list of books to buy with excitement to read them this weekend. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a new list like I did every week…and I didn’t have money either. Usually, Ivan would give me fifty dollars each week knowing full well that the books I choose don’t cost five dollars. Since I wasted every cent on a few band shirts and shoes, I had nothing in my pockets for books. So, I came to the store in my sulking mood only to have my brother become suspicious of my sudden appearance.
“Can’t I visit you once in a while?” I replied, huffing, and placing my hands on my hips.
“Not unless you need money,” he smirked, those brown eyes of his held such amusement I wanted to slap the back of his head so badly. “With you here and being a Friday, the only solution is that you wasted the money I gave you. I told you millions of times, Mabel, to save at least a few dollars every week and not waste it altogether.”
“But you don’t understand!” I whined, dragging myself to the counter as I frowned and gave him the puppy dog eyes. “There’s a new shipment at the bookstore, Ivan. Just let me borrow a few bills and I’ll pay you back. Please!”
“No. You should’ve listened to me and saved money than be begging for my money.”
Darn it.
I thought the puppy eyes would work. It seemed Ivan was becoming immune to it. I looked around the store to see a few workers of his enjoying the scene I put upon myself. I wanted to bash my head into the counter knowing these workers were from my school. Skaters who hung out in the courtyard with the rockers and punks in their usual turf which was the three tables near the vending machines. Unlike the people I’ve come across with, these guys were nonchalant and weren’t those who spread gossip. They respected one another and since they looked up to Ivan, they were made sure to keep an eye on me in school even though our paths never crossed.
I looked down at my Sailor Moon watch and realized it was four o’clock already. The shipment was going to be there in thirty minutes! I needed to find a way to have Ivan give me money, pronto! I wasn’t that person who could make someone fall into their trap with either seduction or persuasion. When it came to Ivan, it was difficult to even get my way around an argument. Like I said before, he knew me like the back of his hand. Any attack I throw at him, there’s a blockade put up already.
I bit my lower lip, tapping my foot lightly against the dark wooded floor. I could do the slave thing again but last time I was his slave, he made that week horrible. I wouldn’t want to put myself through that again and bring him every unnecessary thing to him only to have it put back.
There was only one thing I could use but I know it would fail miserably.
Glancing at my watch again and with the knowledge of the bookstore being ten minutes away, I had to act fast. Books were everything to me and when it comes to buying new ones to add to the collection back at home, I felt like I was Kim Possible. Getting to the bookstore and buying books was my mission but first I have to deal with Ivan. From the amused look on his face, I knew he was prepared what I was about to throw at him.
“I thought you loved me?” I quietly said, looking down to the floor.
“Oh my god,” he groaned, running his fingers through his brown hair. “Seriously, Mabel? You’re gonna pull out the ‘love’ card?”
I stayed silent, glaring at my watch as the long hand moved and now, I had fifteen minutes. C’mon, Ivan!
“It’s not going to work,” he said as he placed more trunks into the counter. “Continue that silent treatment, it won’t work.”
The bell to the door rang and the workers greeted the customer. I glanced over my shoulder only to stiffen as my eyes trained on the black haired beauty waltz into the store. Her amber eyes looked around the store, giving the guys a smile before reverting her attention to Ivan who was still putting the trunks in the counter. She looked beautiful. I don’t know why seeing her always made my heart pound differently in my chest or be awestruck by her. I knew a little of it was from the crush I’ve developed on this girl but it doesn’t explain why I’m always transfixed by her. With her slender body covered in all black, I couldn’t stray my eyes from her.
She walked closer towards me and with each step, my heart was pounding harder. Another step, my heart seemed to be pounding in my throat. The smell of cigarettes and lavender suddenly invaded my senses as I tore my gaze away from her and looked down at the floor. My sole attention on my worn out Vans seemed to be a fascinating sight for a short moment when a pair of Dr. Marten’s appeared beside me. Warmth radiated from her and seeped onto my left side of my body. I was afraid if I moved an inch away from her that she might notice and think I was repulsed by her but I wasn’t. I could never be repulsed by her?
“Hey, Ivan,” her melodic voice flowed beautifully to my ears. Unlike her dark appearance, she had a sweet voice that deceived her image.
Yet her voice was entwined with a hardness that could easily replace the melody I was hearing.
Ivan looked up and gave her a smile as he straightened himself. “What brought you here, Kat?”
“I was wondering if you got my board?” She asked taking a step forward only to have her hand brush against mine.
I gasped, feeling the faint tingles shoot up my arm. Kat looked back at me with those gorgeous amber eyes as they narrowed on me before trailing down to my lips. Just seeing her was bringing back the memory of her kissing me and also the regretting look in her eyes afterwards. Having her this close to me was making it uncomfortable especially when my heart is thrashing inside of my chest and my skin had goosebumps just from a light touch. I don’t even want to know what it would feel like if she gave me a hug. Just imagining her arms wrapped around my body made it impossible to get my focus right.
I tore my gaze away from her beautiful face in search of Ivan who seemed to disappear. Moments later, he reappeared from the backroom holding a board already prepared with its trunks and wheels intact and the grip tape placed. I looked at my watch again only to see that another ten minutes had passed. If I couldn’t get to the bookstore then I need to leave this place away from her.
“I’m going home, Ivan,” I told him, grabbing his attention.
He smirked, “The bookstore is going to be there tomorrow, Mabel. I’ll give you money so you can buy your books.”
I nodded, grabbing my bag from the floor and headed to the exit.
Once I stepped outside, I felt the cooling air soothe me though I could still feel myself hot. I couldn’t even be in the same room with her without having my heart react differently and weird tingles exploding inside of my body. Besides that, I couldn’t get those amber eyes out of my head or her voice. I could still hear her greeting Ivan and could still feel her hand brushing against mine. Just the remembrance sent a shiver down my spine.
I needed to get away.
My only escape was my room.
With that in mind, I began walking down the same route I went through each day to my house. I clutched my bag to my side and let myself realized that I wouldn’t be getting new books. I wouldn’t smell the freshness of a newly book being opened. How most people love the new car smell, I was wrapped up in a new book smell. The fine pages that haven’t been turned yet and the spine hardly bent. If I had money to be buying books today, I wouldn’t have been in Ivan’s store when Kat came in.
I wouldn’t be so much affected by a simple touch.
“Ivan told me today was your shopping spree back at Margaret’s Bookstore,” a familiar voice said from beside me.
I jumped at the sound of her voice only to see her a few more inches taller than me as she rode on her skateboard along side me. Her amber eyes looking down at me with a light humor in them as the cool breeze blew back her black waves so beautifully. I never thought she was the kind to ride a skateboard but more of a racing car. With her image and dark vibe around her, she was breaking the illusions I had of her. But that wouldn’t explain why she was closing herself off. From the first time I met her, I could vividly remember the way she sat there staring at the trees with a solemn expression and those amber eyes looked so broken that I can’t believe that girl wasn’t the one beside me.
Kat was more guarded from the times I’ve seen her.
Never the girl from Ivan’s party.
“You know you can call the bookstore to reserve the books for you,” she continued, steadily pedaling herself to go the same speed like me.
“I don’t want to reserve any books,” I told her, stealing a glance at her to see her scanning the area as if making sure everything was safe.
“Of course, you’re a bookworm,” she smirked down at me. “You would spend eternity in a bookstore as you check every book out to see if it satisfies your hunger or you will read the books altogether as you sit on a bean bag chair until the store closes. Am I right?”
I blushed, giving her the satisfaction that she was right.
I did those two things.
I would spend hours in the bookstore to find the books that actually interest me and would read them there or when I see someone from school, I would quickly buy them and head home. I didn’t want them to start spreading rumors that I spend all my weekend in a bookstore and have no life. I don’t want them to start targeting Shirley and Celeste for hanging out with a loser like me.
“Why are you so quiet, Mabel?”
I shivered, liking the way she said my name. Maybe I was becoming crazy for liking the way my name came out of her mouth. A mouth I kissed…
I blushed, embarrassed at the thought when she was right beside me and bowed my head, letting my hair cover my face.
Kat chuckled, “You’re cute when you blush.”
Oh. My. God.
I did not just hear that from Kat.
The same Kat I’ve kissed twice.
The same Kat that has been plaguing my mind from the very first kiss.
What do you respond to that?
This was the first time I’ve been told I was cute apart from my aunts and older cousins. I never had someone just randomly say I was cute especially when I blush. I cleared my throat, nervously, not liking the speechlessness I had. My heart was going overdrive just from her acknowledgment and my palms were getting sweaty as I rung my fingers together. If I was Shirley or Celeste, I would have flirted back but I wasn’t them. I was a lame nerd looking like a fish with her mouth opening and closing. I was a mouse compared to this beautiful lioness.
“I think you should say thank you for my compliment,” Kat smirked as she hopped off her board before picking it up and began walking beside me. “Though I take from your quietness that this is the first time you’ve heard that you’re cute. Right?”
I didn’t want to respond.
I was too nervous to admit that she was the first person - first girl - to ever call me cute. She should be telling other people that not me. I was Plain Jane not Sexy Rebecca.
Suddenly, I felt her hand grasp my shoulder, stopping me from walking. Though, I still kept my gaze on the ground on my shoes and her boots. I couldn’t dare look up to her. What if I saw that cruel amusement in her eyes to tell me it was a joke that her compliment was just for laughs? I’m a virgin to everything. I don’t know what’s going on. I had no one to help me through this and see if Kat wasn’t playing around? My inexperience and insecurities are really killing me.
“Hey,” she whispered, lifting my chin up with the tips of her fingers. Those amber eyes clashed with my own sending my heart to oblivion. I could still smell her lavender perfume and the faint cigarette smell her. Those small blue specks in her eyes still mesmerized me and her natural pink lips twitched up into a smile.
I was expecting her to ask me why I was so silent like Shirley and Celeste questioned every time. She was different from them. As if she understood like Ivan. She understood why I was silent. Apart from knowing my guilt that ate at me for my parents’ death, she understood what it felt like to feel the burden weighing down on your shoulders. She knew my burden but I didn’t know hers. It was kept secret within those amber eyes. Away from curious eyes like mine.
I was about to ask her why she stopped me when those pink lips crashed against mine. They still felt soft and gentle against mine. It may have caught me off guard but I quickly responded. This was my third kiss with her and it sent tingles throughout my body. I felt her hands travel down my arms to my waist and pulled me into her, feeling her body flush against mine. My breasts pressing against hers brought a rush of pleasure through me. It was so foreign that I couldn’t understand. Her tongue peeked out and licked my bottom lip and I hesitantly parted my lips only to have her tongue dived inside and dance with mine.
My arms were limp at my side for a long moment, unsure of what to do. Being inexperience was frustrating. I had a beautiful girl kissing me and I didn’t know what I should be doing. I needed to research on how you respond to a kiss besides the basics. The kiss deepened and the gentleness became more ravenous as she gripped my hips tightly. Before I could react with my arms and not look like she was kissing a rag doll, the kiss was slowing down and returning back to the same gentleness from the beginning. She continued to peck my lips repeatedly before biting my lower lip and tugging it. The action alone brought excitement to rush through my body.
My eyes slowly opened and met those blazing amber eyes as they bored into mine. She released my lip from between her teeth and stepped back. Her eyes held a hunger that wasn’t fully satisfied yet was reigned in. I shivered from the intensity from her gaze and quickly looked down, licking my lips. I felt the warmth in my cheeks as the realization fell upon me.
Kat and I kissed…
We kissed on the sidewalk where anyone could see.
Oh, man…
Anyone could’ve seen me kiss Kat let alone a girl and to support that realization, I heard a familiar voice from behind me.
I turned to see Riley skating towards us, waving. He was grinning and those steel gray eyes settled on me for a moment before drifting towards Kat. He suddenly stopped in front of us, picking up his board before flashing another smile at me.
“Hey, Mabel,” he greeted, wiping the little sweat he had on his forehead with his arm. “How do you know my cousin?”
“Cousin?” I arched my brow at him in confusion.
“Yeah, Kat,” he nodded at the silent girl beside me. “Kat’s my cousin.”
I stiffened as I dragged my wide eyed gaze at the girl I just kissed. She was standing there with a blank expression, her amber eyes were hard as she gazed back at me. Those full pink lips were swollen and slightly red from our recent make out. I never suspected her to be Riley’s cousin. His cousin was the most recent gossip in school. And now, I was within feet distance to his cousin that most believed could beat you to a pulp for no reason.
Riley’s cousin was Kat.
Riley’s cousin was the person everyone believed was dangerous and ill tempered.
Not only that, his cousin was the girl who I’ve been crushing on let alone kissing.
And Shirley and Celeste thought I didn’t live life reckless when I’m kissing someone who could be dangerous.