** Two months later **
"Yeh I'll talk to you guys later alright?"
"Okay, are you going to the hospital?" My brother asked.
"Yeh, remember I only actually came home to take a shower then you called." I chuckled
"Oh right. Tell daddeh Anderson that we'll come as soon as we get a few days off."
"I will, that will mean a lot to him." I smiled.
"Okay you should get going Jess. We love you, bye!!"
They all blew me kisses and waved like crazy people, "Bye guys!" I blew one giant kiss back and ended the Skype call. Liam, Louis, Niall, and/or Harry Skype and call and text me all the time. Except for not actually seeing them in person it's almost like they never left. Almost. I still miss them like crazy and I'm glad I was wrong in thinking that they would just leave and forget all about me.
Daddy hasn't been doing very well. Just in the last couple weeks he went from okay to horrible. He's currently admitted in hospital so we've all been trying to be there as much as possible. I've just left a couple hours ago to pick the girls up from school and go home for a bit so I could shower; Toby should be here soon to stay with the girls while I go back to the hospital.
--
I stood in the hospital wait room for about fifteen minutes now, and I've found that the longer I stay out here, the more interesting the specks on the white tiled floors become. I love my dad but I hate going in his hospital room. Is that bad? Being here, seeing him bald and weak in the bed makes this all seem so real. I'm not in denial that my dad is sick, it's just hard knowing that he could pass on at any moment. I can't even start to think of what I'll do without him. How can an entire lifetime be embodied in such a small frail frame of a being? It's just not fair.
Eventually I went in, but dad was sleeping so I just sat in a chair near his bed and read until he woke up. Thankfully I brought some things to do, as I'll be sleeping over here tonight. Mads will be here any minute (with some real food) and she'll be spending the night here too.I was supposed to be going to the movies with Stephen tonight, but I really just don't think I can leave my dad. In case you were wondering, Stephen and I have been dating for about six weeks now. All the boys know, except Zayn, but I'm thinking that's probably for the best. I really do actually like Stephen he's a great guy. But honestly, there's just something missing there. I know it sounds bad but even though Zayn and I were never really together there was something in that "relationship" that I need in this one with Stephen; even Mads has noticed that there is something off about our relationship. My dad has met Stephen and he likes him, which means the world to me, but I can tell that there is something that he isn't telling me in regards to how he feels.
Around dinner time dad woke up. "Hey there Pooh Bear," my dad has called me Pooh Bear for as long as I can remember, "I thought you were going out with Stephen tonight?"
His weak voice brought tears to my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall. "I did, but I told him I wanted to stay here with you tonight."
"Oh sweet heart you didn't have to do that, you should be out having fun." He tells me this same thing every time we talk.
"The only thing I should be doing is spending time with you daddy, that's all that matters to me." Before he could respond I quickly changed the subject. "Oh, and the boys all say hi, they wanted me to tell you that they are going to come out here as soon as they can get a couple days off."
A small smile appeared on his face; smiling was a rare occurrence these days, as he was too weak to even make a simple grin. "I would love to see them. They are just the nicest guys, Jess, I'm really glad you have them."
Mads and I spent the evening talking with my dad, and we were even able to play a few rounds of cards with him. He hasn't always been this weak, but with his condition worsening the amount of chemo he has to undergo is increasing and that takes all his energy away. So, him being able to muster up the strength to talk and interact with us is really good news. I know what the doctor said, but I can't help but hope that he'll be able to pull through this. Maybe that's a shot in the dark but right now that's the only bullet I have left.
--
We left the hospital around noon, my mom and the girls came in our stead. I drove Mads back to her house and then went off to my own to freshen up. I just got out of the shower and now I'll just be relaxing a bit before going back to the hospital. Scrolling through Tumblr and listening to my Ed Sheeran Pandora station I felt myself finally start to relax, something I haven't done in weeks. A knock on the door interrupted my laziness. I groaned with frustration and trotted down the stairs. The knock on the door was followed by pounding fists and the constant ringing of the doorbell- I am going to punch whoever this is. I opened the door and was instantly tackled to the ground by four very heavy bodies.
"JESSYKA!" they screamed. Once I finally got them off me I couldn't believe my eyes. I had just talked to them yesterday. How is this even possible?!
My eyes wandered aimlessly between all of them. "How are you guys here?!" was the first thing I said.
"Well gee, we missed you too." The sassmaster retorted.
"I'm sorry! You know I missed you I'm just really freaking confused now!"
Niall came and gave me a hug. "We missed you and knew you needed us." He stepped back and threw his arms out, "So, here we are!"
One by one they all gave me huge monster hugs and a kiss on the cheek. Yup- I definitely missed them. I looked around again. One, two, three, four- "Hey guys?" they all turned their attention to me again, "Where is Zayn?"
They all looked down and their toes and silently elected Liam to talk, "He's here, he's just at the hotel. He said he would meet up with us later when we go to hospital."
"Oh, okay..." I trailed off. I guess I understand why he didn't come over with them, it would have been a little awkward. Especially since I haven't talked to him at all since he left. He hasn't tried to contact me and I haven't tried to contact him so I suppose we're both at fault here. I did miss him too though but I doubt he missed me too. They were all still looking down and slightly guilty. "Guys.. what's wrong?"
"Well..." Niall began, I motioned with him hands for him to keep going. " We may have told him about your boyfriend..."
"You what?!" I exclaimed. He probably hates me now.
"We told him, but only because we figured he'd find out while we're here anyway!" Harry spoke.
"And we thought it'd be better to tell him before we got here to give him time for it to sink in." Liam cut in.
"Oh, by the way, we brought pizza." Niall said and motioned towards the in-table with two boxes of pizza on it. I hadn't even noticed that we were still in the foyer. "We know you haven't really been eating much lately and since you can't turn down pizza we got some." Niall said with a cheeky grin.
We went into the living room and ate pizza and just caught up. I had texted Mads and told her they were here so she got here shortly after they did. After an hour or so we decided it was time to go back to the hospital. I looked around and smiled at the thought that my best friends were all back, finally.
--
The sight of the boys at the hospital made my dad's face light up like a kid on Christmas morning. We've only been here for about a half hour now and Zayn should be here soon. Nerves began to take over my body in anticipation of seeing him again. I sat back in the hospital room chair and just watched the guys interact with my dad. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure standing in the doorway. I didn't even need to turn my head to know who it was. After battling with myself over whether or not I should even acknowledge his presence I gave in and did it. I turned his way, as he was still standing in the doorway, and let a small smile spread on my lips. I got up and walked over to him. He caught me off guard and wrapped his arms around me, "Hi J," he said, only loud enough for me to hear it. Slowly but surely I moved my arms up to wrap around his frame, "Hi Zayn," I said back. Instantaneously it was as if the world stopped turning and time stood still. The butterflies in my stomach had burst out of their cage and were now left to flutter around throughout my entire body. I don't know how long we stood there but when we released each other we saw that everyone in the room was staring right at us. I felt a crimson blush flush on my cheeks and, looking down at my feet, I walked back over and sat in my chair.
Well that was weird.