I left the house at 4:20 to go pick my mom up from the school. Kody happened to be outside shooting hoops in his huge wraparound driveway. Might as well spray paint it green and make it a basketball court.
"Hey cuddle muffins. What's up?" I raised my eyebrow questioningly at him.
"Cuddle muffins?" I asked.
"Yup and while that's your new name, Im in desperate need for a hug." He winked. I sighed and glared at him as he began walking towards me.
"Bye Kody." I said vaguely. Why do I have to be neighbors with him? Why does he have to be everywhere I am? Why can't he just LEAVE ME ALONE.
"Oh come on." He winked sticking out his bottom lip and making a puppy dog face. I would've melted but I was in a hurry and the mere hug we had earlier flashed in my mind. Although I must admit that he did look pretty hot right now. His blonde hair was spiked up and his green eyes shone brightly with the sun. He didn't have a shirt on and my eyes lingered on his six pack a bit before walking past him.
"Bye." I said walking away as if I was not fazed. I thought he bought it, but the smirk I saw on his face as I entered the car told me otherwise. Thanks stupid hormones.
I pulled into the parking lot to find a very annoyed mother.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked.
"Kids. No one showed up to tutoring so I worked detention instead and let me tell ya." She said her voice slightly aggravated. We drove for a few minutes and it wasn't until we got to the street of my new house and passed it, that I asked where we were going.
"We're going back to the old house to pick up the last bit of furniture and then we're gonna stop by Walmart and get Augie from daycare." She replied.
I groaned. I hate shopping and I am so tired of moving. We made it to the house and began grabbing the last few boxes stuffing them in the trunk of her red van. Most were just dishes and a few things to hang on the walls. My mom was getting in the car as I reached over and grabbed the last box. I froze midway and simply stared at it.
I knew what this box was. I knew what was inside of it, and there was no way I could pick it up. It was the box that held my dads personal belongings and I didn't want to take it with me. I didn't want to remember anything about him or be reminded of it. My mom knew what he did to me but she didnt know how bad it hurt me. How bad it hurt our family. I got into the car trying to hold myself together and leaving the box there.
"Whats wrong?" She said with concern in her voice. And from there it was Niagra falls.
"I thought the whole point of leaving this house was to get rid of him." I sobbed. Even after my mom found out what my dad did, she was still convinced that he was the same man she married years ago and that everyone makes mistakes. That he didn't mean it. That everything would be okay. Well news flash... It wasn't.
"Oh honey." She said patting my back and pulling me into a hug, "Try not to rmemeber him that way okay. He's still your dad and before his mother passed awa-"
"DONT you dare try and blame what he did on his mothers death!" I snapped "He had every opportunity to apologize to her! Every opportunity to go and visit her in the hospital but he never did! That's his own fault and he may be traumatized that his mothers last words were his name and he wasn't there... But that gives him no right to do what he did to me!"
My mom was teary eyed too and I realized that I may have gone too far. This was the most I'd ever said to her about the situation and my feelings. I always told her that it was okay what he did. He was just lashing out, he was just upset, and every other excuse in the book but deep down this was how I'd always felt. And now she knew.
"I'm so sorry. I'm a terrible mother. I should've known his abuse wasn't okay. I should've known. I should've known you weren't okay. It wasn't counciling you needed, it was just someone to talk to.. And I wasn't there." She said the last sentence in a whisper and now we were both a crying mess.
"Mom." I whispered. Although some of her words were true, I didn't want her to feel the guilt and it wasn't completely her fault. I chose to not tell her how I felt. I chose to let her stay in that marriage and continue on. If it's anyone's fault it's mine.
"I'm so sorry honey. I-"
"Mom it's not your fault. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped and I should've told you this a long time ago before it got too far." We hugged each other and stopped the conversation there eventually leaving the box and driving down the road to pick Augie up. He was just a baby when everything happened and the most he can remember from those times is throwing his bottle at the chandelier in anger causing the glass to splatter all over of the floor. Yeah Augies terrible twos weren't your typical nightmare.
I pushed the thoughts out of my mind. Of every feeling, Of every pain, of every time, of everything that happened. It happened 3 years ago but I could remember it like it was yesterday.
"Hey Augie. How was school?!" I asked him as he jumped in my lap. I knew it was just daycare but Augie and I called it school because that's what he thought it was. I signed him out on the sign out sheet as he talked.
"It was great and my best fwiends Dylan and Cole invwited me to to their biwthday pawty!"He exclaimed. I ruffled his curls and picked him up on my hip.
"Awe are you excited?" I asked pinching his cheeks.
"Of courwse!" He said in a duh tone while turning and seeing mom. He wiggled out of my arms and ran up to her engulfing her into a hug. Oh those sweet innocent days.
"Mommy!" He squealed as they hugged. He began telling her about the party as she buckled him into the seat. I closed the door to the passenger and my mom entered turning the car on.
"So can I go can I go can I go!" Augie asked impatiently.
"Of course you can honey. Those twins are so cute with their blonde hair and dimples." Mom said. I chuckled.
"Yeah but their also really hard to tell apart." I pointed out.
"Oh you know I heard their going to be in a commercial shooting this week. Did you hear they recently started an acting career." My mom said.
"Really? That's cool!" I exclaimed. "I should start hanging around them more in case they make it famous. No one can forget me!" And with that my mom and I both began laughing forgetting the crying and everything that had been going on just a while earlier.
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I had taken a shower, changed into my night clothes and began doing my Homework. All I had on was the lamp on my nightstand and the TV which I turned the volume all the was down too. I also lit a candle on my dresser and the aroma filled the room.
My peaceful mood was suddenly interrupted when a knock sounded on my window. I Jumped and my eyes when a tall muscular figure emerged opening it. Why I didn't keep my window locked? Don't know but now I've learned my lesson.
"Wha-why?!" I whisper shouted at him as he entered my room wearing casual basketball shorts and a muscle tee.
"Shh." He said placing his hands on my lips. I tensed at his touch but did not push him away. "Look I know your not okay and I consider you my friend so I want to know what's going on." He demanded.
I was taken aback. We were friends? I had a friend? My only friend was now the popular douche who lived next door? Uh no.
He moved his hands away from my lips as I spoke. "How did you get here? and who said there was anything wrong with me?" I asked inquisitively.
"Well I walked around your house since it's not as easy as sprinting across the yard and I know there's something wrong with you Braelee. You didn't even bother to argue with me earlier." And from there I suddenly started crying. Who cares about the tough act anymore. I need to stop pretending like everything's okay when it's not.
And suddenly he did the unexpected. He pulled me into a tight hug and wiped my tears away with his thumb. "As much as I don't appreciate you crying princess, you need to let it all out and I'm all ears if you want me to listen." I nodded and hugged him back and cried even more. Out of everyone that could have known how I felt, he was the one to realize and as much as I should deny it. Kody Taylor is my friend and he cares.
He began to rock me back and forth soothingly and squeezed me tighter. I always cried alone or cried myself to sleep but today he was here for me. Of all people he was here and the feeling was much much more than what I had felt in the car. It was intense and I was almost certain that there was something there. But he probably just thought of me as a friend and I couldn't let myself think of him as anything more than that unless I wanted to end up played and heartbroken.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked. I stopped crying and thought about it. He was here for me now. Could I trust him? We were friends right? And I couldn't believe the next thing I did.
"Yes." I sighed my voice cracking.
-------------- flashback -------------
3 years earlier.
"Hey daddy!" I said rushing into the house. It was the last day of 8th grade and it happened to be storming outside so I was left running home after getting off the buss. "Why didn't you co-"
"Shut up!" He yelled. His lean figure was facing away from me and leaning over the bar area to our kitchen. I jumped back slightly afraid. He's never snapped at me like this before. Did I do something wrong? Did I get in trouble?
"Dad?" I asked my voice trembling with fear.
He slammed his hand down on the counter causing me to jump back and gasp. "Shut up! I told you to be quiet." He got up and turned towards me his eyes were bloodshot and he had bags from crying. His mother had died a few months back from lung cancer and it was a hard time for him because he feels guilty. He never respected her he even used to fight her steal her money, etc. And when she called from him and his brothers mailed in saying she just wanted to see him one last time and meet her grandkids, he ignored. And now he feels guilty and it's all rushing back to him. Or at least that's what I told myself.
His face his body it was all different now. He was not the man I knew. Something so scary so dark now possessed him and there was no where I could go, run, or hide.
"You." He said his voice with hatred. "You could've stopped this. This is your fault!" He whispered but then brought his voice to shout. "This Is your fault! You could've stopped me you could've told me you wanted to meet your grandma, you could've told me. y-you." And his voice changed again from anger, to shouts, to hatred, to crying. "You could've stopped this." He sobbed while I stood there in fear. A deer in headlights. Who was this man possessing my dad? Why is he so angry at me? This is my fault isn't it.
"BUT YOU DIDNT!" He screamed. "YOU DIDNT STOP ANYTHING YOU LET SAT RIGHT THERE AND LET HER DIE! How dare you."
"I-I I'm so-"
"SORRY DOESNT BRING HER BACK YOU IDIOT!" He slapped me in the face and I gasped in shock. My dad never laid his hands on me like this.
"I-I." Tears welled in my eyes as He slapped me again.
"SHUT UP! What do you not understand! Your pitiful excuses will not save you." And he took the beautiful vase that sat next to the stand by the front door and smashed it to the ground.
I didn't know what happened next.
•. •. •. •.
I woke up in a white room my moms face hovering above me. My dad behind her with Augie on his side crying.
"Honey. Honey." My mom said with tears in her eyes. She smiled as my eyes began to flicker open and process everything around me. I couldn't remember anything or how I got here or where I was.
"Mom. Where am I?" I asked trying to sit up.
"Honey your in the ER the doctor should be here soon." She sniffles and said in between sobs.
"Why?" I asked.
"You've been out for a few hours but the doctors should be able to explain everything okay." She said soothingly.
As if on cue the doctor entered the room.
"Oh well hello Ms. Collins." He said, "Happy to see you are recovering fine." He smiled at me while I sat there confused as to what had happened to me.
"What?" I asked but the doctor simply smiled before turning to my mom and asking her to step outside.
"Wait." I told them just before they could step outside. I looked to my dad and remembered something. I remembered him slapping me and that was all and I knew nothing good could have happened.
"Please stay here and tell me." I begged the doctor.
"I'm afraid I can't do that miss. But I will explain everything when I get back." She said and continued her journey out the door with my mom. Now it was just me, my dad, and a teary eyes Augie.
Suddenly my dad started moving towards me and I shuffled a little to sit up.
"Honey I'm so sorry I really am." He began crying. "I don't know what I was thinking your my little girl I would never do anything to hurt you. I- I-" I didn't know what he was talking about and He didn't finish and just started crying which caused Augie to cry and scramble to give me a kiss.
"I love you sissy!" He said while he wrapped his tiny arms around my neck.
"I love you too Augie." I smiled.
Suddenly the door opened and the doctor entered and asked everyone to leave the room.
"Okay Braelee. Tell me what you remember." The doctor said calmly.
"I remember my dad smashing a vase and that's it."
"Okay." The doctor said nodding his head. "Well that is true and when your dad smashed the vase you fainted of shock and a shard cut you and got stuck in your head. You have been in this room for 3 hours asleep and I think you should be able to go home and recover. Your welcome to stay home from school for a week or two and your going to be required to wear a bandage around your head. It needs to be changed three times a day. Once when you go to bed, one when you wake up, and once in the afternoon. We'll send you home with some creams and medicines you can use each time the bandage is changed." She looked up to me as I soaked everything in and memories began flooding back to me. I gasped and began to cry.
"I'll go get your mother." The doctor said trying to ease the mood.
My mom came in and knelt beside my bed. "Look honey. Your dad did not mean anything. He was angry he was upset he did not mean to hurt you okay? Okay? It won't happen again." She kissed my forehead lightly and I looked up to my dad with promising eyes and I believed them. The guilt was placed on my shoulders because I believed it. It was my fault. My dad didn't mean anything, I dragged this upon myself. I should've told him I wanted to see my grandma. I should've told him to go visit her before she died and I didnt. And that's when the cuts began, but soon enough I was able to stop myself from the harm and live a normal life. I gained a friend and she made me happy until she moved away. But she taught me to live she helped me stop being depressed and she lightened up my world. And now I was able to be happy once again and I thought my family was back to the way it was before all this mess happened.
Key word : Thought.
______________________
I stopped mid-story and turned to Kody who was staring at me. I had a tear rolling down my cheek.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I shouldn't have told you this, I know I'm weak, I-I"
"Stop." He said quietly. "Your the strongest, bravest, girl I know. You did nothing wrong and I'm really proud of you for pulling through this." He hugged me tight and I pulled away staring at him. He's supposed to tell me he knows how I feel. He's supposed to treat me like some charity case look at me like I'm not the same person I was. But he didn't. He treated me the same and didn't act sad and give my sympathy because that's what someone who really could care less would do. Instead he listened and he comforted me and he told me what he thought and for once I couldn't be happier. I could finally get everything off my chest. I smiled as he spoke.
"You can continue if you want." He said.
"Nah. I'll tell you the rest when the time is right." I said. "You're a great friend you know. The only one I've had in while." I sighed and closed my eyes and when I opened them, Kody was staring at me intently.
"I should get going." He said.
"Yeah." I replied.
"Oh wait actually." He paused smirking. "I think I'm forgetting something." He suddenly said and walked over to my door picking up my backpack. He rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for and pulled out a little black notebook. I immediately went still.
"Wha-I -I can expl-" I stopped talking while he stood there smirking at me, arms crossed above his chest.
"I don't think you have to." He said, "I knew you had it all along." I opened my mouth in shock.
"Y-you did?"
"Yup. But I let you keep it because I knew I could trust you with it and I thought that maybe you might be able to do something productive with it. Or even relate to it." He began talking while coming back to the bed and sitting next to me. "And now I just want to formally give it to you. I want you, Braelee Collins, to have my dairy. My deepest darkest secrets, the truest part about me. My feelings, my thoughts. The real me." He said placing the book in my hands. I trembled at his words he trusted me. "And most of all I want you to finish it. I want you to make memories, good and bad, I want you to store in their what I once did. I want you to have someone to talk to and soemthing that will listen when nobody else does." He stopped talking and tucked a strand of stray hair behind my ear as a tear rolled down my cheek. With one hand covering my face, he began to get closer and his minty breath caused me to close my eyes. This was happening, this was really happening. But the next time I opened my eyes he was gone and the last sign of him was an open window with a single flower on the ledge. I smiled dumbfounded.
What the fudge-nuggets just happened and what does this make us when tomorrow comes?
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A/N - Spent a few hours writing this chapter. What do you guys think?!
Please vote, comment, etc.
(I tend to stop writing books I don't have encouragement for.)
Don't be a silent reader!
I'll be updating soon.
Lots of love,
Xoxo Jada <3
Btw : THIS CHAPTER IS NOT EDITED.