I honestly feel like the worst author in history I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story. I hope you guys still remember what happened in the last chapter...
QOTD: What's your favorite part in She's Kinda Hot?
AOTD: 'they say we're losers and we're alright with that, we are the leaders of the not coming backs but we're alright though'
–Reese
The best way to get over someone is by distancing yourself from them as much as possible. Unfortunately, I cannot completely cut Calum from my life—not that I want to, anyway—but I need to give myself time to get over this crush.
To me, the first thing to do was to tell the fans the truth. I needed to tell them that Calum and I were never together in the first place, but I was terrified of what their reactions would be. They might hate us for lying to them. They might call us pathetic. But I guess it's for the best.
I took a deep breath, trying to think of exactly what to say. I opened notes on my phone, and before I knew it, I was typing away.
Dear fans,
There's something I really think you guys should know, and I hope that you will open your hearts and try to accept why we did what we did. Basically, we lied to you guys. We convinced you that Calum and I were together. Truth is, we never were; it was a dare. A fake. A lie. I feel terrible for lying to you guys, and I don't even know why we felt we had to go through with it. Honestly, none of us thought you would actually believe it. It was stupid. I really hope you can look past this and forgive us.
Sincerely,
Luke
I read what I wrote over and over until I was satisfied with it. I took screenshots of my writing and uploaded the pictures to all of my social media accounts. I was so nervous and shaky that I didn't even want to look at the replies at all. I just felt dumb. I felt dumb for asking the fans for forgiveness when I knew I didn't deserve it. How should I expect them to forgive me when I couldn't even forgive myself?
[x]
I sat alone in my room for what felt like forever. I just sat on my bed, my guitar in my hands as I strummed random strings. I was at the point where I was desperate to keep myself busy; I wanted to make it seem like I didn't need anyone's company. I knew that if I could convince myself that I didn't need anyone to feel content, maybe it would be easier to stay away from Calum. And if I could stay away from Calum, I just might fall out of love with him.
That night, I barely left my room at all. One of the only times I came out was to watch a movie with Ashton and Michael. I knew I was going to be third-wheeling it, but in all honesty, I didn't really care.
I heard the door open from Calum's room, and when I turned around, I saw him all dressed up. His hair was styled into a quiff; he was wearing a tight shirt that hugged his abs nicely and dark pants. He met my gaze for a second, but immediately looked away.
"Calum, why are you all dressed up?" Ashton turned around, shoving some popcorn in his mouth.
"I'm going out," he answered, a smirk on his face. "I could use a few drinks and a good time."
"Really? Tonight?" Ashton groaned. "You do know that we have an interview tomorrow, right?"
"I'll be fine," he scoffed. "Don't worry about me. Just worry about watching your movie."
Ashton sighed in defeat, glancing over at Michael to say something.
"Just don't bring anyone back with you. I'm going to be asleep and I don't need to hear moaning from my bedroom," Michael scolded, and Ashton just gave Michael a look that said: that's all you're going to say?
Calum didn't answer; he just grabbed his keys and headed out the door. I felt Ashton's eyes on me, but I tried to only pay attention to the movie and not think about anything else.
"Luke, are you okay?" Ashton asked, but I stilldidn't look at him. "I can't believe Calum would go out to a party for a goodtime; especially now that he knows how you feel about him."
I bit my lip, holding back a sigh. "Let's just focus on the movie."
Ashton seemed taken aback by my response; I'm never usually so forward with him.
I guess none of us were acting like ourselves today.
[x]
Calum didn't end up coming back until around four in the morning, and I only knew that because I heard the sound of his shoes hitting against the hardwood floor and the jingling of his keys in his hand.
It wasn't long until I heard my door creaking open—why would Calum be coming in my room? I eyed him somewhat suspiciously, giving him a look of confusion.
"What are you doing in here?"
"I'm gon' sleep," Calum answered, beginning to undress. He slipped out of his jeans and took off his shirt, but unfortunately it was too dark in here to see his perfectly toned body. Calum made himself comfortable, slipping under the covers like it was nothing. "Hey Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you in my room?"
I bit back a laugh. "Calum, this is my room."
"What makes you think you can just take my room while I'm gone, huh?" Calum asked, too wasted to realize he wasn't making any sense. I just let it go; he wouldn't remember it in the morning, anyway.
I could feel the warmth radiating off of his body even though we weren't touching, and I could picture the way he looked with his eyes fluttering shut even though he was facing the opposite way. Calum turned to face me for a moment, and even though it was hard to see him, I could feel his breath on my face.
"Are you tired?" I asked, my voice softening a little.
"Not really," he slurred, "why? you wan' talk?"
"About what?"
"Whatever you want," Calum yawned and stretched his arms, smiling at me. I adjusted the way I was laying, turning completely on my side so it would be easier to look at him and talk to him.
"How was your um, night out?" I asked awkwardly, because in all honesty, I wanted to know. I was curious if he met anyone, danced with anyone, how much he drank—I was just concerned.
"It was fun," he answered abruptly, letting out a chuckle afterwards. "I didn't bring anyone home so you know I didn't really meet anyone."
I bit my lip, the thought of Calum with someone made my face fall. I was hoping it was too dark for him to see the look of devastation on my face; I was never one who was good at hiding how I feel for the sake of someone else.
"So you didn't hook up with anyone or anything? Didn't have sex?" I awkwardly asked, immediately wishing I hadn't.
Calum gave me an odd look before answering. He shook his head, "no. I wasn't really looking to meet anyone, yah know? I would want to find someone naturally; just wait for the time to come where the person I was destined to be with was right in front of me."
I felt a lump forming in my throat, just wanting him to realize that I was right there in front of him. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just nodded in response.
To my dismay, Calum continued on. "I don't want to try to meet someone; I just want the timing to be right and fall in love unexpectedly. I just want to look at someone and feel that feeling where you just know you're in love." Calum stopped for a moment, getting a sudden headache from the alcohol he drank a little bit ago. "Wait a minute...I'm sorry."
"What?"
"I forgot you love me," Calum blurted out. I stared at him for a moment, feeling too awkward to say anything.
"Well, yeah," I looked down at the blankets, tempted to crawl under them forever and never come out.
Calum sat up for a moment, groaning in pain from a sudden headache. I sat up immediately, concern in my eyes.
"Shit," he muttered.
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I asked him, putting the back of my hand on his forehead to check if he had a fever coming on. I moved my hand down to his cheek, then his neck.
Calum swallowed dryly, taking a deep breath. "I just have an awful migraine. Could you maybe get me some water, please?"
I nodded, walking out to the kitchen and getting Calum some ice cold water. When I came back to the bedroom, he was massaging his temples with a pained expression on his face.
"Here you go," I smiled. "I put a whole bunch of ice in it, too."
"Thankyou, Luke."
"No problem, do you need anything else?" I offered, sitting back down on the bed.
"I think I'm okay," he answered, taking another sip of his water. "Thankyou, though."
I smiled, and he smiled back at me for a moment before leaning in and giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I felt myself beginning to blush, and I just gave him a shy smile before telling him 'goodnight' and 'have a good sleep.'
[x]
I didn't wake up until around noon, and even then Ashton was the only one person awake. I found him sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal and staring at something on his phone. He looked up to see me standing there, and instead of smiling or saying 'good morning,' he gave me an odd stare.
"Luke, what is this?" He asked, referring to my tweet about Calum and I when I said it was fake.
I shrugged and nearly stuttered, almost intimidated by his tone of voice. "I um, felt like the fans deserved to hear the truth."
"But why now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why didn't you tell any of us you were going to tell the fans?" He set his phone down and seemed somewhat upset, but as the silence went on, his face softened a bit. "Did something happen?"
I avoided his gaze, getting out a bowl for cereal. I didn't say anything at first; I poured my cereal and milk and stared down at my spoon for a while. "It was because of how he reacted when I told him I loved him. Remember?" I asked, recalling Ashton attempting to comfort me. I sighed before continuing, "anyway, I just felt like lying about us made it worse for me. I just really want to get over him."
As if on cue, Calum came into the room and sat down with us. I knew I was going to have to start talking about something so it wouldn't seem suspicious, so I asked him the first thing that came to mind.
"How's your hangover?" I wanted to know, and he just groaned.
"It feels like someone is drilling a nail into my head," he said, "and I feel like if I eat something I'll be sick."
"Why don't you lay back down, then? Maybe you need some more sleep," I suggested, "at least take some medicine or something."
"Yeah, I'll take some medicine," Calum said, reaching into the cabinet. "Dealing with hangovers is going to take some getting used to."
I glanced at Ashton for a moment, both of us with the same confused look our faces. Ashton spoke up, "what do you mean it's going to take some getting used to?"
"Are you saying that, going out and partying wasn't a one-time thing? That you're going to be doing this often?" I questioned.
"Yeah, why not?"
I made some chapter questions for you guys so just comment your answers to them:
- What do you think about Calum going out to party? Why do you think he wants to?
- How were you feeling when you read about Calum talking about love?
- What do you think of Luke's letter to the fans?
Okay that's all! Hopefully I'll post soon! Comment, vote, and follow for more updates!