Chapter Thirty-Eight…
Still in an incredibly bad mood, I sulked on Jord’s sofa, trying to ignore how the feeling of his arm carelessly laid across my shoulder was having the opposite effect I was going for. I couldn’t quite get over the anger at my parents, at how careless they’d been and the position they’d put me in.
I’d told Anna that I was staying with Grace for the time being, until things had reached the stage where it would be questioned, but I think we both knew that that wasn’t the truth. All I had to do now was tell Grace what was going on, so that it the police called she’d have an excuse at the ready.
A sigh emanated from Jord beside me and a consecutive one came from myself. It had just gone from very bad, to extremely bad.
And to think we thought it was all going to be okay.
Unable to help myself, I snuggled into Jord’s side. It was an automatic reaction that I couldn’t help, plus it was more comfortable.
Just as I got relaxed enough to let my eyes droop and the inviting lure of sleep become more realistic, Jord spoke. “I think we need to talk about…stuff.”
Instantly, my heart dropped. Stuff, was more than likely us. My instinctive reaction was obviously to assume that he’d changed his mind; that that rationality had come back to him and he’d realised that this thing we had going on was going to cost more than it was worth. That was obviously the opposite to how I viewed it, but I wouldn’t be the one to suffer if we were caught.
Hesitantly, I found myself agreeing. As much as I didn’t want to, this was something that needed discussing, sooner rather than later.
I was shocked by his opening line, however, and found myself relaxing much more quickly, my heart warming to the conversation. “I want to do this, Jess.”
“I want to do this too.” I agreed, immediately, hoping that there wasn’t a but coming at the beginning of his next statement.
“But,” and there it was. The ‘we can’t’ I’d been expecting. “There are a lot of risks involved.”
That wasn’t a direct no, which I took as something. “I know that.” I assured him. “I know how dangerous it would be. For me and you.” Another valid point, was the way that this could affect me as well. I could be expelled or suspended if we were found out, ruining my education. And with the limited jobs as it was, having something like that on my record would ruin the prospect of me getting a career, even if I did get fantastic grades.
Jord nodded solemnly. “I’ve done a little bit of research into it.” He admitted, making me smile to myself. He’d cared enough to actually find out what the risks were. As unromantic as that sounds, it was still kind of touching. “And it is illegal, punishable by jail, for me to be in a relationship with you.”
I felt my stomach churning. I couldn’t imagine Jord behind bars and me being at least partly to blame for it.
“Until you’re 18, I can be punished by law, but afterwards, it is down to the school to make a judgement. And in their eyes, I’ll be fired and lose my license to teach.”
I was outraged about the jail thing, because there was nothing wrong with our relationship. Jord wasn’t taking advantage of me, like the law would be assuming. What we had was genuine.
“What’s the point in having an age of consent, at 16, if all the laws are for when you’re 18 instead?” I complained rhetorically.
Jord chuckled, breaking the tension that had been crowding the room as we discussed such serious topics. The reality of our situation was far more serious than we’d been making out and that wasn’t something we could risk forgetting.
“I know exactly what you mean.” He agreed, but there was a glint in his eyes that made me think he was more concerned about that than he was letting slip.
Tentatively, I decided to push it. I might not like the answer, but I didn’t want him holding information back from me. I wanted everything that he was thinking out in the open. “What aren’t you saying?” I pushed.
He averted his eyes, so that they gazed across the room instead of into my own. “I don’t think of you as a minor, Jess. You’re so much more grown up than anyone I’ve ever met and you’re so mature. But, in the eyes of the law, I’d still be seen as taking advantage of you. It makes me realise that you’re actually a lot younger than I keep thinking.”
I’d never really thought about how Jord would feel about my age. It had always been a non-entity as far as I was concerned. I didn’t care that I was falling for someone who was six years older than me - but then again, I hadn’t been the one who would be seen as being in the wrong if we were ever found out.
Jord was the one in the position of authority; the one who was supposed to say no when I made my childish advances on me.
We both knew that that wasn’t how it worked between us, though.
“I don’t even think about the age difference.” I assured him honestly, hoping that I could convince him it was nothing to worry about.
“And I don’t even know when you’re birthday is.” Jord countered, a pained look on his face.
“April 6th.” I replied, reminding myself just how close it actually was. “Only three months.”
That caused Jord to laugh out loud, a wry smile appearing on his face. “Seriously?” He inquired, finding something apparently very funny. “Mine’s April 7th.” He revealed.
I grinned, shaking my head. “Surely, that can’t be coincidence.”
“I don’t think anything’s coincidence when it comes to us.” He admitted, tightening his arm around me and letting his other hand caress the side of my face.
“I love you.”
It was only the second time I’d said it to him, but it already felt natural coming out of my mouth. We hadn’t even finished talking about us, but that simple touch had made me need to say it. It was a fact, a fact I wasn’t going to deny anymore.
The grin on Jord’s face became much wider. “I love you too.”
His words were accompanied with a short peck on the lips as his hand moved from my cheek to grasp a strand of my hair and twirl it round his finger.
“I think that’s enough to ensure you I’m willing to take the risk.” He assured me, making me lean in and be the one to initiate the kiss this time.
It didn’t last long, though, because a knock on the door soon interrupted us. I muttered a curse under my breath, annoyed that one of the few moments we got to spend together had been disturbed.
“Stay here, I’ll see who it is. If it’s anyone it shouldn’t be, then I think that you know the drill by now.”
There was a teasing smile on his face as he got up, remembering the police officer’s gullibility for believing I wasn’t the girl in Jord’s bed this morning.
When nothing that was obviously warning me sounded from the door, I took that as a sign to stay where I was sitting.
It was Matt who rounded the corner first, a content smile on his face as he came and took a seat next to me where Jord had been a minute ago.
Following Matt, came Audrey, his and Jord’s mother. That was a face I hadn’t been anticipating, and I had mixed feelings about her appearance.
On the one hand, I knew from the narrowing of her eyes when she saw me that she still disliked me very much. Having said that, I found myself amused by her as well. She was so straightforward and genuine that I had to admire it as a quality. Not seeing her often was fine with me, though.
Jord and his mum were forced to take the other sofa, since Matt had taken up the rest of the room on mine. “What are you doing here?” I inquired, not being accusatory, but still letting slip that I was slightly miffed.
“I wanted to know what the police wanted this time.” Matt clarified, giving me an expectant look. “Mum just happened to turn up as I was leaving.”
The anger of what I’d found out earlier on came back to me and everyone noticed my face darken. Jord took the incentive to let everyone know what the situation was instead. “Jess’s parents are in jail for being caught doing drugs and so she’s facing social services now.”
Jord’s face was also stormy when he’d finished telling the brief story and his fists clenched at his side. He was just as stressed about the circumstances as I was, even if he was trying to be the calm one in the room.
It turned out that Matt had a similar reaction. “What?” He exploded. “Surely they can’t do that? You’re eighteen soon, right?”
I nodded, a wry smile on my face as I remembered mine and Jord’s conversation minutes ago. “April 6th.” I informed him.
Matt laughed, exactly as Jord has done. “I should have expected that.” He commented. “Jordan’s is April the 7th.”
“I know.”
“So, what’s happening with your parents?” Matt returned the conversation back to its original topic. He paused then, his face contorting with anger. “And what’s happening with you?”
I sighed. “I honestly have no idea.” I admitted grimly. Not knowing what was going to happen to me in such a serious situation was horrible. I hated it. In the back of my mind, I did know that I was going to be taken into care until my eighteenth birthday, just because that was the obvious solution, but I really hoped that there would be some other possibility. “I’m guessing it’s the care home for me for the next three months.”
There was a sudden noise from opposite me as Jord sent his fist down on the arm of the couch. “You are not going into a care home.” He objected forcefully. “I’d apply to be your legal guardian if it meant keeping you out of one.”
Audrey made her presence known then with a loud snort. “You will do no such thing.” She reprimanded him exasperatedly.
Jord fixed her with a pair of narrow eyes. “I will if I want to.” He contradicted her, a look of defiance clear in his eyes. It was the same look I had seen Grace’s little brother give her many times. The look that said he would do it regardless.
“You wouldn’t be able to anyway. You’re her teacher. It would be seen as inappropriate.”
“It wouldn’t stop me from trying.”
I cracked a smile, but knew his mother was right. There wasn’t a chance it would be allowed.
I was destined for the care home, end of.
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Just to make something clear, I have nothing against care homes, so if it seems that Jess has something against them personally, I don't mean to be offensive at all.
Having made that clear, finally an update! Sorry it's short and kind of disappointing, but I hope it was still okay. I thought I'd better make the standing between Jess and Jord more consolidated, and put her birthday into it, since some have been wondering about that.
So, this chapter, I should overtake A Year Full Of Surprises with the number of votes I get! Big moment!
Thanks for the reading and I'll update again as soon as possible!
Plus I LOVE this song. The line 'and now you wish that you meant something to somebody else' god I love it! It like fits my life competely -_-
Hope you enjoy this!