Happy Birthday
I knew I was dreaming, the surreal possibility that this could even happen was so far from my reach it wasn't even humorous.
I was in a field, much like Carlisle and Esme's estate, and tucked nice and neat in the background was a white house, much like the one I grew up in.
I was looking down at the scene, a man with copper colored hair in a casual disarray was chasing three small children who also maintained the same colored hair.
I assumed the man was myself, and those would be my future children.
Suddenly, two - bigger - children ran out from behind some trees, a boy and a girl. They were laughing, the girl swishing her chocolate colored hair in the green eyed boy's face. They bounded forward, rushing towards me and the three other children.
One of the other girls, there were three total, squealed and ran off, the younger boy darting after her. The other girl lunged for the bigger boy who was chasing the older girl, tackling him to the ground with a giggle.
The three began wrestling as I leaned back against a tree, watching those three and the other two as they plop down, panting because they were so tired.
"Daddy!" Someone cries, and everyone's head turns as a little boy - who looks to be around the age of two - hobble down the porch steps, his dark brown eyes full of wonder and curiosity.
The man lurches forward as the little boy wobbles, just as he loses his footing getting caught by his father who's sporting a huge grin.
"Hey, little buddy!" The man says, bouncing the child before taking him back to the tree where he was sitting. "Whatcha doin' out here?"
"I snuck away from Mommy, she was snoring." The little boy giggles "Easy peasy lemon squeezy."
The man looks up as a thundering crash can be heard from the house, and my head snaps up in harmony.
What was that?
"Bella?" The man calls as a woman with dark brown curly locks stumbles out onto the porch, her stomach blown up like a balloon. Dark circles are etched around and under her eyes, her skin pale, she seemed breakable with one touch.
But if she was the woman who gave birth to all these children with another on the way, she's probably indestructible.
Did he say Bella?
"Edward! I lost him!" She shrieks "I lost one of our kids!"
I widen my eyes as the man laughs, waving his left hand over the little boy's head as the woman collapses onto her knees in relief, her left hand still gripping the porch railing.
Both were wearing wedding bands.
I married Bella?
And got her pregant with...
One, two, three, four, five, six...
Seven children?
What?
Suddenly, a beeping noise begins bouncing around in my eardrums though the scene keeps playing out. Bella carefully makes her way over to me, the eldest boy and girl helping her along the way.
Black spots dance across the sky as Bella is lowered onto the grass, next to me, leaning against my side, her hands wrapped around me as I kiss her forehead...
Ding!
I jerk awake, flying into a sitting position as my blankets tumble off the bed, my sheets in a tangled mess around my legs and arms. I breathe a quiet sigh, untangling myself from the crazed sheets, picking up my blankets and placing them on the bed before padding towards my phone, which is charging on a small desk on the opposite side of the room.
I make my way through the darkness, carefully stepping over books that are strewn all over my floor, trying to evade sleep as it threatens to pull me under once again.
I tap the cool screen when I reach the charging station, and it lights up, blinding me for a second.
As the dots disappear, I glance at the bright screen, reading the notification that I received an email.
At 2:30 in the morning?
I debated whether or not I should read it, I really wanted to go back to sleep, but finally I decided that if someone got up to send it at 2:30 in the morning, it was worth being read.
My eyes widen as I read, and I'm very glad I opened this up.
It was worth it.
Edward,
Hey, I know you're probably asleep and I won't get a reply until late, which is fine I guess...
I can't sleep, and I wanted to talk to you. Being alone does that to you sometimes.
But you probably are asleep, so I guess I'll just leave now...
Bella
The email was short, but something was off. I could feel it, so I typed my reply as fast as I could.
Bella,
Never, ever be afraid of waking me up, even if it is just to talk.
I deleted that and tried again. It just sounded too embarrassing.
Bella,
I'm awake, no worries.
What's up? I can tell something is wrong, so don't deny it.
Do you need anything?
Edward
Her reply is almost instantaneous from me pressing the send button.
Edward,
I would really like to see you, I just don't want to be alone right now.
I know it's almost 3am, sorry for waking you up by the way, I just...
I can't. I'm so tired of being alone, on today of all days.
Would you mind driving down here? You don't have too. It would mean the world to me if you did, though.
Bella
I reply, then shut my phone off and jump into the car after throwing on some more presentable clothes than just my trousers, speeding off to Bella's house after she emails me her address.
Along the way, one question is swirling around in my mind, even as I pull up into her driveway a few hours later.
What did she mean, by on today of all days?
I turn the car off, the familiar purr of the engine quieting down until it's completely silent, and I sit, in the dark, surveying my surroundings.
Before me stands a small, two story house. It's Bella's, I know, for starters her last name is engraved in the mailbox beside my car, written in fluid script I can barely see, another reason is I dropped her off here two weeks ago - is that even right? It's feels like forever ago - from our meeting at La Bella Italia.
The neighborhood is quiet, the nearest house is a good distance away, which means Bella gets her privacy, but I had a sneaking suspicion if something were to go wrong, her pleas for help would go unnoticed.
The trees stalk forward like dark shadows as I open and close the car door, rubbing my hands together to keep them warm from the frigid air. Panic blooms at the base of my spine as I hurry towards Bella's door, feeling the unnecessary but frightening notion that I was being watched.
"Get a grip," I tell myself "There's nothing out here."
Tell that to the sickening crunch I just heard, coming from the roof.
"Bella?" I hiss, backing off of her front porch to scan the roof in the dark.
There, by the window on the second floor, is someone. They're sitting on the roof, flashlight in hand, looking at the stars.
I suspect it's Bella, mostly due to the tub of ice cream beside the person.
"Bella?" I call, louder this time. The person's head dips down, a pair of chocolate colored eyes meeting my gaze.
"Edward?" Bella's head cocks to the side "You're here?"
"You said you wanted to see me. Here I am."
"Wow, I didn't think you would."
"I'll always be here for you, Bella."
Bella flashes a cheshire cat smile before climbing inside the window, a few moments later opening the front door.
She's decked out in her pajamas, wearing a holey t-shirt and ragged sweatpants. Her hair is tied into a loose twist on the nape of her neck, though by now more than half of it has climbed out and is hanging in tangles knots around her shoulders, bouncing in frizzy clusters as she moves.
"Hey," She whispers, giving me a shy smile, looking up at me from beneath her long, lush eyelashes.
"Hi," I say, running a hand through my hair, a classic sign that I'm either comfortable or nervous.
Doesn't make sense, it never did in the first place.
"Thanks for coming," Bella turns to let me come inside, kicking some of her sneakers to the side so I can actually walk in.
I'm welcomed by a well lit family room, a T.V. and couch occupying most of the space, a fireplace tucked neatly into the farthest wall, a chair snuggled up to it's side.
Pictures dot along the mantel, some of Bella when she was in school, others of her posing with a man with dark brown eyes, hair that's thinning around the forehead, and a crinkly smile.
Her father.
There's one more, the same dark eyed man - but years younger - with a woman. Her hair is an auburn color, and she has bright blue eyes that sparkle, her grin seeming to light up the whole picture. Tucked snugly in her arms is a baby, a baby girl.
There's writing along the bottom of the picture, and I take a few steps forward to read it.
Charlie and Renee Swan with new baby girl, Isabella Marie.
"That's them," Bella murmurs, appearing at my side silently "My Mom, she's Renee Dywer now - my parents got divorced when I was young - was so happy when I was born. She hated it here though, and took me out of here as soon as she could."
"Why didn't your father go with her?" I question, staring at the other pictures. Little Bella, around the age of 7, grins back at me, a large gap where her two front teeth should be.
"He had to take care of my grandmother, she died later on, but he helped her live her last years in comfort."
I look over at her, and she's gazing at the picture of her and her family with a sad smile, her fingers brushing across her parent's faces.
"Sometimes I wish I could rewind time," She whispers "Just to have one moment with them, to not take it for granted, to see them happy with one another again. Their divorce was quiet, not one out of disdain. My mother still has a soft spot for Charlie, and I know for sure he's never gotten over my mom. Made me uncomfortable when I first moved here, but now I miss it. I miss a lot of things, and I'm ashamed I took most of them for granted back then."
I pull her into an embrace as she lets out a few sniffles. I gently rock her back and forth, not saying anything.
"Come on," Bella says after a minute, pulling away. "I want to show you something."
She grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs. We pass a small kitchen along the way, a small table set for one, three mismatched chairs pushed to the surface. The cabinets are painted a bright yellow despite the darker tones of the house, and I'm yanked up the stairs before I can catch a glimpse of anything else.
We dart upstairs, passing a linen closet along the way, a closed door, a bathroom, and then at the end of the hallway, the smell of strawberries slams into me as Bella opens a door.
"My room," She says, walking towards the open window.
It's barely decorated, the walls are a soft blue, a purple bedspread laid out neatly on the bed. A desk is huddled in the corner, a small rocking chair occupying a space by a small closet. A red blouse is draped over her desk chair, a pair of shoes tossed haphazardly on the floor. Books are stacked, the bookshelf she has is overflowing with papers and more books, by her pillow. On her desk sits an old PC, something you'd see back in the dark ages.
"Coming?" Bella calls, sticking her head into the room.
She's climbed onto the roof, a flashlight clutched in her right hand as she offers me her left. I take it, hauling myself onto the roof. Once she's sure I'm on and stable, Bella releases my hand and crawls away from me, up the roof. I follow her, careful not to scratch myself on the loose shingles. After a while, Bella seems satisfied, then turns around and sits down, retrieving a blanket from a small pile of things from beside her.
She drapes it over me as I sit next to her, breathing in and out in quick, short breaths, rubbing my hands on my arms to try and warm myself up from the cold, night air.
Bella clicks her flashlight off, setting it beside her melting tub of ice cream. She scoots closer to me, snuggling into my side as I wrap my arms around her securely.
She was not falling, not on my watch.
Her head tilts up, and when I look down in confusion, she whispers "Don't hate me," before pressing her warm lips against mine.
It was brief, before I knew it she had laid her head back down on my shoulder, her cheeks alarmingly warm.
But in that moment, I felt three things.
A sense of clarity, I knew Bella was someone I could no longer ignore.
Desire, I wanted to kiss her again.
Curiosity, why had she kissed me?
We sit in silence for awhile, my arms tenderly wrapped around Bella, her warm side pressed into my own.
My heart was beating unevenly, I knew my ears were red, and my thoughts were oddly calm, though.
Bella was someone important to me, I knew I couldn't go along ignoring my feelings for her as I had been doing, it was wrong. She, clearly, has also felt something for me too.
It would be ungentlemanly of me to continue and leave her waiting and wandering in confusion.
"Edward?" Bella whispers as the sun begins rising, the air turning warm, the birds awakening from their slumber to start chattering to one another.
"Mmm?"
"You don't hate me, do you?"
I look down at her in shock. How could I, with her big, innocent brown eyes, her lovely company, she was absolutely perfect...
"No," I chuckle "I don't hate you, far from that, actually."
She breathes out a sigh of relief, and we lapse into comfortable silence again.
I look down, gently reaching my hand up to smooth down some of her wild, crazed hair. I gently tug the knot out of her hair, tossing the hair tie to the side.
A warm breeze scuttles across the roof, the trees whispering happily to one another as the sun continues rising, the sky turning from an indigo to a lavender, to a peachy pink that reminded me of Bella's cheeks when they flushed when she was embarrassed.
A squirrel dances from limb to limb, darting across the roof - mere feet from Bella and I - before returning to the forest.
Bella lets out a happy sigh, snuggling even closer to me, and I can't help but feel that this is right. This is where - and how - everything should be.
Bella, happy and content with someone she trusts, no worries bursting her happy bubble.
Me, here with Bella, happy to see her happy.
A new piece of the puzzle shifts and flips itself over, gently sliding into place as I come to another part of Bella's character, her personality, what makes her who she is.
She was loveable, kind, intelligent, selfless, and she was brave.
But, most of all, she just wanted to be happy like the rest of us.
"Bella?" I murmur, squeezing her soft hand.
"Hm?"
"Happy Birthday."