||Chapter Thirty-Three: Milk, Cookies, & A Lonely Christmas||
Thea's POV:
A glass of milk.
Placing my lips to the edge of the cup, I use the tips of my fingers to tip the cup forwards. I feel the cold, white, liquid cover past my lips and into my mouth. I loved milk. There was always something so refreshing about it, the fact that it was mostly good for you just made it better.
As I grew up, my dad laid restrictions on how much milk I drank; much to my dismay. He said that he wanted me to drink more water. You know, that plain, transparent, liquid that comes from taps. And other places. But that was unimportant. The important thing was that it was disgusting. The mere taste of it almost had me gagging at one mouthful.
I did drink it though; sometimes.
A plate of Oreo biscuits.
Setting down my finished glass of milk, I used my index finger and thumb to pick up an Oreo. I parted my mouth slightly, slipping it between my teeth before I broke the sweet, small sandwich with my teeth. The chocolate crumbled onto my tongue as I bit down harder. After that Oreo was gone completely, I poured myself another glass of milk to go with the Oreo's.
Eventually, the biscuits were finished and I was left feeling more or less content but alone.
I was my own Santa this year. I said this year because usually my dad proceeded with the whole charade of being Santa even though I no longer believed. He just wanted to have the Oreo's and milk. This year though, he insisted I was too old for that now that I was eighteen so I decided to be my own Santa. I would get the milk. I would get the Oreo's.
And yes, I was back home. To which Cameron didn't know about and the only time I conversed with my dad was when talking about this whole Santa charade. He had tried speaking to me at other times but I would just walk away.
The only reason I was back here instead of at Lea's was because I thought she might need some space before having to confront everyone this weekend.
Derek wasn't staying there anymore either, I think he was staying with a close friend here or something like that. I hadn't spoke with him much since I left Lea's so I didn't know all that much.
So that was what led me to be sitting there, upon a stool at the kitchen counter. Just eating away at the Oreo and drinking glasses of milk.
I didn't really mind the loneliness though, yeah I missed the tradition with my dad and of course I missed Cameron being around. But in all honesty, I enjoyed being alone yet I was lonely at the same time? It was far too complex to explain I supposed but that was how I felt.
Emotions were something that had always been hard to pin point because really, you're never feeling just one emotion.
Like on Facebook, they have that button where you can post your emotion but how could you choose just one? Sometimes there wasn't even a word to describe how you felt. Letters, words, capital letters, vowels and consonants couldn't even begin to describe the intensity of how you were feeling. So why use words? When you could use actions.
Wasn't there that phrase?
'Actions speak louder than words'
In English we learned that when you write; it was best to show, not tell. You showed it by how you described the characters' actions, expressions, behaviour, attitude. Same with situations, and scenery.
If you just told the readers everything all the time, then they wouldn't be able to immerse themselves into the story line and they wouldn't be able to connect properly with the characters.
Moving my legs, I attempted to stand up, spinning the stool to the side. What was difficult about the simple action was the pins and needles. The stupid things decided to spread through both feet and my right leg. Placing my weight on my legs as I stoop up, I felt uncomfortable but proceeded anyway. I needed my blood to rush back down.
Was it weird that I got pins and needles quite often? I thought maybe there was something wrong with my blood flow.
Anyway, pushing myself forward, I rinsed my plate and glass, placing them on the dish rack. Picking up the hand towel hanging from the side of the bench, I rubbed my hands against the cloth to dry them. I hated feeling anything wet on my hands, it seriously grossed me out.
I threw the hand towel on to the counter as I sighed and started my way upstairs. I should probably get some sleep at least, it was already almost midnight, by the time I got myself ready and into bed, it would have already been Christmas.
I better hurry then, I thought as I moved my feet faster against the wooden stairs. Coming to a stop in front of my bedroom I had a though rush through my head; Would I hear from Cameron on Christmas?
Did I want to hear from him?
Dismissing my own questions, I entered my bathroom with a singlet and pair of sweat pants in my hands. After I had finished changing, I brushed my hair and threw - not literally - it into a bun. Then, I was off to slip under the soft blankets. I laid there, alone.
Yes, I did want to hear from him, I admitted. I missed him. I missed him a hell of a lot. I needed to stop thinking about him. It seemed to be all I have done since the call.
Trying to shut off my mind, I rolled onto my side facing the door, the smell of washing powder lingering on my sheets. Lavender had always been a therapeutic fragrance for me to endure. Calming my nerves.
I felt my eye lids fall shut and I pulled my blankets right up to my chin in an attempt to get warmer considering it was quite a chilly night. Just before I was able to finally fall into the abyss of sleep, I heard the sound of my phone vibrating on the bedside table. Jesus, who texting me at - I checked my alarm clock that was too on the bedside table - 12:08am.
Groaning out loud, I removed my hand from the warmth of my bed and over to my phone to retrieve the damned thing.
1 New Text Message
All hell was about to break loose if it was Lea on the other side of the text. That would make me so pissed off because I was just about to go to sleep.
I tapped onto my messages icon which led me straight to the new text and my eyes widened instantly.
From: Cam :) x
Hey Lay Lay, I know we're not exactly on speaking terms right now but I thought I would text you to say; Merry Christmas hermosa chica :) I hope you have an awesome day! I wish I could see you but I know I can't. You probably don't want to see me and I am so sorry. For everything. Anyway, this was long, sorry. See you on Friday (Well, tomorrow) x Te amo...
No matter how much I had wished to hear from him on Christmas, I wasn't actually expecting it. I just had hope that he would think of me on the day that we had spent so many occasions celebrating together.
What was more surprising than hearing from him today was the fact that he was awake at this time and waited until after midnight to text me. When it was officially Christmas Day. Also, he told me he loved me. Again.
Now I had a dilemma; Was I supposed to respond? Did I want to?
Yes to both. If he had the courage and thought to text me then I should at least repay him with a reply. To wish him a 'Merry Christmas' too. After all, if I didn't then I may have came off rude and ungrateful. When in reality, I was extremely happy that he had thought of me.
This was when feelings of conflict was brought to the gamble. I probably sounded like a crazy person but I loved him. I was angry at him. I felt betrayed, lied to, and heartbroken. More than any other feeling though, I was upset.
I was upset that he kept things from me, that all these years that we had been friends he had never mentioned anything about his mother. For all I knew, there could be more that I didn't know. Even more than his little confession about knowing my mother was alive.
This whole freaking time. So yes, I was conflicted, I couldn't just forgive but what else could I do? I had no idea. I was confused about everything and I didn't know what the right thing was that had to be done. There was an idea, a solution, that I could do that hurt to even think about it. End it. End the relationship.
I didn't know if I could, I loved him too much and I had wanted this for too long just to give up. But, my trust for him had lessened due to the lies, secrets and stupid mother's. For now though, all I could do was send that text. So, I started tapping at the keyboard on my phone with my two thumbs in hope that I would at least get this right.
To: Cam :) x
Thank you, Merry Christmas Cameron. I will see you tomorrow at noon. Just go straight to the pool house.
Not even a minute after I had pressed send, he had already replied. Almost as if he was just laying in bed, waiting for my response.
From: Cam :) x
Alright then. I love you, Thea. I'm really sorry.
My heart ached when reading his words and I had to close my eyes for a few seconds to dismiss the tears before I sent one last text.
To: Cam :) x
We need to talk this weekend.
And with that sent, I put my phone back onto the drawer before I rolled on to my stomach, my hands sliding under my fluffy white pillow. I bent my left leg at the knee to get more comfortable before I felt my eyes fall closed for the second time to night. This time, my phone didn't vibrate and my body finally granted my wish for sleep.
* * *
After a good sleep, I moved my limbs forward, rubbing the sleep from my eye with my eye. After I had come to a stop in front of my fridge, I pulled out a carton of milk, pouring some into a glass that I had gotten from the cupboard.
"Didn't you drink enough milk last night?" My dad's humoured voice had me jumping, spilling milk onto the counter. Sighing, I quickly snatched the hand towel from the side of the bench and wiped it up. I watched as the mini towel absorbed the milk and made sure to avoid eye contact with the person sitting across from me.
"Thea." Dad sighed, the tone of his voice gave away his exhaustion. I could also see in my peripheral vision the way his shoulders were hunched in that he was tired.
"What?" I sighed again. A lot of sighing seemed to be happening in this room lately.
"Here." I looked up for the first time and saw his outstretched hand. In his hand a medium sized, relatively skinny, rectangle present. The gift-wrap had 5SOS tally marks on it and I would've screamed if it wasn't for the awkward situation.
"What's this?" I asked, holding it between my hands, being careful not to drop it. Knowing my clumsiness, it was a high chance.
"Open it and find out." He had a small smile on his aged face, causing the urge to smile myself but instead, I opened the present. Without ripping the wrapping paper of course.
As soon as I saw what was inside, I placed the gift-wrap aside and ran my fingers along the canvas of photos.
There were photos of me and my dad, Lea and I, and Cameron and I. It was amazing. There were so many memories. There was the photo from when I went camping when I was eleven with dad. It was horrible, I absolutely hated it because when we arrived at the campsite, there was another family there.
They were so loud and annoying with accents, they had a little boy who I swore was evil. When we woke up in the morning, our tent was infested with cockroaches. I shivered just thinking about it.
One of the photo's that caught my eye was one of me and Cameron covered in green paint. I think were at the age of thirteen and fourteen when this happened.
We were supposed to be helping with the school mural but instead we ended up getting into a paint fight. We were both paining hills so when Cameron made fun of mine, splattered paint on him.
I'm guessing you could imagine what happened next but when we got home, dad was so angry. Apparently, the school rung and yelled at him because the mural was ruined and covered in green paint.
Oops. Dad sent me to my room and Cameron to his but not before taking a photo of us for our "21st birthday". We were both smiling proudly in the photo and he was kissing my paint covered cheek.
Then there was the photo of Lea and I from my 16th birthday party; the first time I had alcohol.
We both had snuck some alcohol from dad's closet and were drunk off our faces. In the end, we ended up getting caught because of Cameron. The idiot took photos and videos of us to show us our stupidity the next day but my dad found them instead.
Let's just say, I was grounded for a very long time. In the photo I was holding on to Lea, laughing and she was trying to keep her balance. She was laughing too.
Tears sprung to my eyes, I wished that things could just go back to how they used to be.
"I hope you like it." Dad mumbled, he sounded unsure and awkward about it as he scratched his cheek.
I glanced up at him, tears still welled in my eyes, "Yes, thank you, I love it."
His face grew with concern, his eyes widening and his lips in a frown.
"What's wrong baby girl?" He lifted himself up and came to wrap an arm around me. I let him comfort me. Just this once, I didn't want to feel alone.
"Nothing. I'm fine. Everything's fine." I let my eyes shut, savouring that feeling of fatherly comfort before moving from his embrace.
"Just fine."
* * *
Author's Note:
As I mentioned in the last author's note, I had to rewrite the whole last chapter because Wattpad - for some reason - deleted it. So today, I have planned out the next few chapters, rewritten Chapter Thirty-Two and written this chapter :)
While being relatively on time with my updating (yay!)
So, I am aiming for 45 chapters! Only 12ish to go! ♡ I have the last four chapters planned out and the next two so hopefully I won't get too much writer's block xo
Thank you all SO much for reading, voting and commenting on my book ♡ it means a lot to me!
- Chloe