Chapter 8
It was just after eight when Millie rang the doorbell. Darkness was settling in, but Millie could smell the fragrant smells of the gardenia bushes close by. It should make her feel at home, but it didn’t. She could hear the chimes of the all familiar sound from the outside of the door. Shock would not adequately describe the look on Mary Anderson’s face when she opened the door to find her youngest daughter standing there.
“Amelia! Wh... what a surprise!” Mary was dressed as usual, very stylish wearing a pair of tan Chino’s with a white wrap around shirt and a pair of brown sling back shoes. Her blonde hair was in a bun and not a hair out of place. She was the epitome of a Southern Belle.
“Hello mother.” Millie pushed her hood off her head, but kept her hoodie on, she did not plan to stay long. She gave her mother the customary hug as she asked, “Is Daddy home?”
“Why yes, he is in his study darlin’.” Walking with her daughter to the study, Mary was elated to see her out of her apartment, but did not want to come right out and say that, instead she suggested, “Alexis and I are going to meet for lunch on Friday, and then go to the spa for a mani pedi. Would you like to join us?”
Millie thought, just like mom to think of the external and physical parts of life, and not the heart and soul of the matter. For so long, Millie wished she could tell her mother how she felt about all that extra stuff, the “fluff” as Millie liked to call it. In the end that stuff did not matter.
“No thank you Mother, I have to work.”
“But you work all the time. You need some time off. And I know Alexis would like to see you.”
“Mother, Alexis was over two nights ago for dinner. I fixed her lobster ravioli and we watched National Treasure together.”
“Well, I am glad that you spend time with someone in your family.” Mary was not happy that her daughter suddenly after college abandoned her family to hole up in her apartment. Sure Amelia had been quiet and shy most of her life, but now it was like she wanted to withdraw from society. The Anderson’s had been the center of southern society since... well since before the Civil War. For one of her daughters to disregard her place in society was unthinkable.
“Mother,” Millie shook her head not wanting to hear the lecture again. “I love you, but sometimes I wonder if you really know me at all?”
“Darlin’ why would you say something like that?” Again twice in one night, Millie saw an emotion her mother tried to hide. Because, ‘An Anderson is never taken off guard. If we are, it will show weakness your adversary will know it!’
“Mother, when I was assaulted by one of Daddy’s business associates, why didn’t you stand up for me?”
Again, for a third time, Millie saw shock and as quickly as it appeared on her mother’s face, it was gone. If Millie had not been watching her mother for a reaction, she would not have seen it. “Why would you bring something like that up?”
“I just want to know mother. Please? Why didn’t you stand up for me?”
Mary shook her head and patted Millie on the arm, “Darlin’ we know how shy you are and honestly, I thought you were exaggerating. You got over it really quick.”
Arriving at the study door, Mary turned to Millie, “Why don’t I make us some tea while you talk to your father? We can discuss this again when you are finished.”
“Because Mother, I have a date.” Millie turned towards her mother, “but, why don’t you stop by one day next week and I will make you tea. And mother, for what it’s worth,” Millie took a deep breath, never did she even think that she needed to do this, when she came tonight, it was to see her father, but suddenly she felt compelled to say the words, “I forgive you.”
“Forgive me? Why?”
“For not standing up for me.”
“And what is this about a date? You are dating now? Darlin’ that is wonderful. Do we know his parents?”
Typical Mary, move to a more pleasant conversation. Millie chuckled on the inside, some things never change. Why should she expect her mother to?
“I doubt it. And it is not what you think. We are just friends and we are meeting online.”
“Amelia darlin’ you need to find a good man and settle down. One of good character and upbringing. Come to the club with us and we will introduce you to a few good candidates to choose from. Darlin’ I worry about you.”
Laughing now, Millie could not believe her mother, well yeah she could, she had grown up with her trying to push her into society. “Mother, after our conversation just a minute ago, I mentioned that night, yet you want me to go back there? I’ll pass Mother.”
“Darlin’, I really don’t see what one has to do to the other. That was a long time ago and it was one night. The Anderson’s have been members there since before your father was born. One night does not mean we stop going there!”
“Of course not Mother, you and Lexi have a great time.” Millie smiled the smile she had been trained as a child to give, even when she didn’t feel like it. The one she and Lexi dubbed the ‘AA’ or the ‘Anderson Attitude’ . The whole world could be crumbling around them, but as long as they had a smile on their face, no one would know.
Millie steadied herself and knocked on the study door, suddenly she felt as nervous as she did when she was a child summoned to see him for some reason or another.
“Come.”
‘Lord, guide my steps,’ Millie prayed silently.
“Hello Daddy.” Millie said walking in, she thought about closing the door, but figured her mother was going to either come in or stand at the door and listen.
“Darlin’ what a surprise. I have not seen you in, I don’t know a year?”
“About that, give or take a month or two.” Millie came in and sat down on the sofa facing her father’s chair. “I need to talk to you.”
Lowering his book, he asked, “How much do you need?” Tom Anderson was a man of means and did not mind flaunting it. If he could not handle a problem, he could pay enough for someone else to handle it. So, to him, money solved everything.
“Nothing. I mean I need something, but not money.” Millie began playing with a string on her hoodie.
“Well out with it, what do you need me to handle for you?”
“I need to let you know that I have forgiven you and I want you to forgive me.” Millie nervously looked at her hands, as she continued playing with the string.
“What? What do you have to forgive me for? I have given you everything you could ever want or need. And you repay me by having your mother nag me all the time about how you don’t appreciate anything because you never call or come over and see her.”
“Of course you would not remember,” Millie always thought the deal that was brokered a week later was more important than she was, but she was trying hard to truly forgive, yet it still hurt. “Do you remember the party you threw right after I moved back home from college? The one for your clients?”
“OK? I throw those all the time. You will have to refresh my memory.”
“Well, it was the one that your client attacked me, the one that tried to force himself on me?”
“OK, but your sister came in. He didn’t hurt you.”
“Yes, but the damage was already done. The way he looked at me, the way he touched me. It is still hard for me to think about it. And as much as that hurt and not just that night but ever since, you did not stand up for me and that hurt worse.”
“Oh Amelia! You need to grow a thicker skin in business. He did not hurt you. He barely touched you. Sure he made some suggestive comments, but you are a beautiful woman. Surely you have heard a compliment or two before.”
“Daddy, he groped me and was trying to force himself on me! That night has kept me in my apartment for seven years. I can’t go out in public because of the things he said and did. Lucky for me Alexis did come in, but would your reaction have been any different if he raped me? A part of me says that it wouldn’t.” Feeling stronger and more confident than she had ever felt in her father’s presence, Millie continued. “You not standing up for me hurt. You doing business with him hurt. But,” Millie took a deep breath, “I forgive you. And as of today, I release this to not only you, but to God. And I pray that God can heal the wounds from the past seven years. I love you Daddy and I just thought you should know.”
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
hey r u on?
MilliVanilli:
yeah
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
i was worried about u
MilliVanilli:
i had something 2 do
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
r u OK
MilliVanilli:
yeah
i went 2 see my parents
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
really?
how did that go?
MilliVanilli:
about as good as I expected
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
wanna talk?
MilliVanilli:
not much 2 talk about
I told them I forgive them
mom didn’t understand why i forgave her
dad laughed @ me
told me not 2 blame my issues
on him or anyone else
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
i’m sorry
MilliVanilli:
i did what i need 2 do
it is up 2 them now
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
how do u feel
MilliVanilli:
i have never stood up
to my parents until tonight
it was liberating
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
r u OK?
MilliVanilli:
yeah
i mean i can’t change them
all i can do is pray 4 them
but yeah, it hurt
this was the 1st time i told him so
now it is his problem
not mine
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
i am proud of u
i wish i could give u a big hug
MilliVanilli:
u just did
thanks
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
just know if u ever need to talk
i’m here
MilliVanilli:
:-D
i know thanks
Paul felt sorry for Millie. He could not imagine his father putting business above family. Not to mention that her mother brushed it off. Especially something this severe. She deserved better. But, what could he do? He couldn’t change her parents. He knew someone who could, he began praying for her parents, especially her father to put his priorities in order. And for God to help Millie through this process of forgiveness.
She knew he was there for her, but he didn’t want to make this night about something sad. They had laughed too much in all the nights of chat so to liven the evening up a bit, he thought he would ask a simple question.
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
what is ur most embarrassing moment?
MilliVanilli:
u know i am shy
always have been
in high school i had 2 give a speech
Public Speaking
well this person sitting up front kept heckling me
at the end of the speech
with about 200 people in the room,
I charged them 2 do something good, something positive,
and the person heckled me again,
and I said “do something to make a difference,
or shut the hell up”
looking right at the person.
Everyone who had not been paying
attention, their heads shot up and stared.
So survival kicked in
and i tried to laugh it off by saying,
“Thank you i’m Ima Fun and it’s been real!”
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
ROFL
what happened next?
MilliVanilli:
I walked off stage and they
cracked up laughing and I
got a standing ovation.
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
that is the funniest story
i have ever heard
but that is not embarrassing
MilliVanilli:
what is ur most embarrassing?
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
nothing like that!!
well maybe lol
i try not to let things get to me
roll with the punches
but plenty have tried to embarrass me
MilliVanilli:
like??
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
in college
i went 2 a christian college
we had chapel every sunday night
one night my cell phone rings
there are these huge signs to say
turn ur phone off, but i forgot
so the president of the college is preaching
cell phone goes off, he looks right at me
“son, we will wait for you to answer”
trying to be funny i say, “Well, i am sure
God has a reason for calling me now.”
and everyone laughs...including the president
MilliVanilli:
LOL
that is funny, not very embarrassing
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
there were 3,000 people there
pretty embarrassing
MilliVanilli:
LOL
ok yeah I can c that now.
so, what did God want?
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
2 wish me a happy birthday
it was my mom
MilliVanilli:
awwww
so, what are u going to preach on Sunday?
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
u will have 2 come and find out!
MilliVanilli:
LOL
i will watch afterwards
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
and what if I screw up?
and u r not there to c it?
MilliVanilli:
just say “Ima Fun and it’s been real!”
HeDied4Me-ILive4Him:
ROFL!!!
On Saturday, Millie heard an all too familiar ping letting her know she had someone wanting to chat on Wattpad. Going to that tab, she assumed it was Paul, and was surprised when she got there that it was not.
SongBird213:
hey
MilliVanilli:
hey
Millie had talked to SongBird in Virtual Bible Study, but had never talked to anyone besides Paul outside of there. So, to say she was surprised by the contact was an understatement.
SongBird213:
need 2 talk 2 u about Paul
MilliVanilli:
OK
SongBird213:
u need 2 back off
MilliVanilli:
what?
SongBird213:
u r going to hurt him
he can’t have a relationship w/u
MilliVanilli:
i don’t know what u r talking about
SongBird213:
he is 2 nice a guy 2 get hurt
so back off
MilliVanilli:
y do u care?
SongBird213:
doesn’t matter
MilliVanilli:
yes it does
if u r telling me 2 back off
i deserve 2 know why!!!!
SongBird213:
he deserves someone that can b there 4 him
not a computer based image
MilliVanilli:
we r just friends
SongBird213:
not 2 him
he is falling 4 u
no idea y
but he is
Millie knew he was and if she was honest with herself, she had been falling for him for quite some time as well. SongBird was right, he did deserve someone who could be in his life and not just a computer screen. How could she do that? How could she be what Paul deserved locked in her apartment?
SongBird213:
u there?
think about it
don’t hurt him
MilliVanilli:
how do u know so much
about him?
SongBird213:
know him better than any1
and i don’t want him hurt
Things said in Virtual Bible Study came to Millie’s mind. And a particular chat that Millie and Paul had afterwards, “SongBird is from Arkansas.” and “Sydney hates technology, she would call me over in college to fix things only to find out it was an unplugged computer.”
MilliVanilli:
Sydney?
SongBird213:
yeah
how did u know?
MilliVanilli:
i’m not stupid
SongBird213:
Paul doesn’t know
don’t tell
MilliVanilli:
i know
but i won’t lie 2 him
if he figures it out i won’t lie
SongBird213:
do u love him?
MilliVanilli:
i think i am falling 4 him
but it is complicated
SongBird213:
DON’T HURT HIM
MilliVanilli:
u still love him?
don’t lie!
SongBird213:
i will always <3 him
but we r not right 2gether
we r best friends
i just don’t want to c him hurt
MilliVanilli:
u know we never planned
2 fall 4 each other
but u r right
he needs someone 2 b there 4 him
not a computer