"Happy birthday, baby..."
My eyes shot open, the glare from the sun hurting my eyes as I heard the faint echo of Drew's voice in my head. I reached out for her, feeling nothing but the coldness of the sheets. I was alone.
Coming to terms with last night proved to be difficult, but I turned over towards my clock to find out how long I had slept. 2:30 blinked in bright red, my heart somersaulting in my chest.
I grabbed my phone, seeing multiple missed calls from Maria and Jeremy from over an hour ago. They could be worried sick, not knowing where I had ended up last night. All they knew was that Drew had come to my rescue, if you wanted to call it that. Of course I didn't because I believed she had ruined my birthday by showing up. Now she was gone, again.
I texted both of them I was awake and at home, feeling as if I had been run-down by an eighteen-wheeler. My head was throbbing as my puffy eyes attempted to stay open. Deciding to roll over onto my back I internally agreed, never again.
I stared up at my ceiling fan aimlessly, replaying what I could remember of last night. All I could recall was Drew kissing my forehead and leaving. Parting like she didn't give two shits about me. Maybe I wasn't worth anything to her anymore, and maybe I was stupid to believe she cared. If she cared she would've stayed.
But no matter how hard I tried to hate her... I couldn't. It wasn't easy to dislike someone when they hurt you thinking it was for your benefit. I wanted to believe her motive was selfish but was it? From what I remembered of last night she had looked just as broken as I had, if not worse. Did she believe she wasn't good enough? That she could never make me happy?
I wanted to fight, I would always want to, but I couldn't force her to be with me. I could show up in her life every day, beg her to let me back in and let me love her but she had to allow me. If she didn't want me around and was stubborn enough to keep me at a distance I could do nothing.
I could only be with her if she let me, and she was refusing.
Soon my phone was ringing, snapping me out of my thoughts. I knew already who it was, but it wasn't who I wanted it to be. Drew wouldn't call me. Not after last night.
I answered, "Hey."
"God Bree, I thought you were dead!" Maria raged over the phone, letting me know I had worried her.
"I'm fine," I responded, "Why the hell did you let Drew take me home?"
"She took you to your home or hers?"
I rolled my eyes, "Mine. And that doesn't answer my question."
She paused for a second, as if searching for a reason herself. Finally she admitted, "She told me you called her and asked her to come get you. At first I didn't believe her but... I don't know. I kind of thought she would take care of you. It's not like you fought to stay..."
I felt the pain erupt in my heart, "Yea she took care of me, all right."
"Is she there...?"
I pulled my eyes down and away from the door, wishing Drew would walk through and decide she wanted to be with me. That she was good enough. That she could love me without restrictions.
But that was me dreaming.
I forced, "No, she left last night."
"Wow," was all she said, as if I had said something completely out of left field. We were over, officially. Drew made that blatantly obvious. Of course I didn't get why she was being this way, but talking to her was impossible.
I stayed silent, afraid that if I spoke more on this subject I would burst into tears. I didn't want to cry, I was too tired. Drew didn't deserve tears from me, and she didn't want them. She didn't care. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
Maria chimed, "Do you want me to come over? We can go eat?"
I didn't want to leave my house for the rest of the day, not until tomorrow when I had work at the studio. It was my last week too, after I would prepare for graduation and moving day.
I sighed, declining, "No, I'm just gonna start packing and stuff. Don't worry I'll be fine."
"Bree..."
"Maria," I cut her off, realizing the last thing I wanted to do was being her down with me. She didn't deserve that. "It's fine. I promise."
She paused again, knowing that arguing with me was useless. I was stubborn, and I just wanted to be alone and get over myself, by myself.
"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye," I hung up, feeling the sting in my chest emerge from the shadows. None of this was fair. None of this was supposed to happen. This week should've been me and Drew, getting our things together and preparing to move back to Philly.
Evan wasn't supposed to pop back up, and he wasn't supposed to continue manipulating her. She shouldn't have felt the need to leave me whenever I believed she needed someone like me by her side. She was stronger than that. None of this added up.
What had gone wrong between us? Had she done this to protect me from Evan considering he had showed up again? Had he threatened her? Or had he threatened to hurt me?
I wanted to call her and ask. I wanted to hear her say the truth because I couldn't believe she had given up on us that easily. Not after all the shit we had gone through. Not after what we had felt...
I sat on my bed, memories of us swirling around and drowning me. The pain was incomprehensible, and even after a week it was still brand new, like I couldn't get used to it. Even Ashley hadn't been this terrible and we had been together for years.
But thinking about this would only ruin my mood, and I had to get a lot of things done before this weekend.
If Drew didn't want to fight for me there was nothing more I could do, because I had no fight left in me either.
~ ~ ~ ~
The following week involved me packing and trying to keep myself busy with my last week of work. Even though Drew had refused to contact me I knew she was curious about how I was doing. Maria would tell me everything Demarcus would ask, and it hurt even worse knowing Drew didn't want to ask me herself. All she had to do was call and I would answer on the first ring.
What would she do when I moved?
The familiar clenching in my chest pulled me out of my thoughts, me realizing now was not the time to be worried. It was my last class, and this Friday night session was dragging on, making me believe it would never end.
Maria joined next to me, "So graduation's next weekend. You excited?"
I shrugged it off, "I'm more excited to get out of this city."
The weeks between me and Drew's break-up had taken a lot of my positivity, including over graduation. I was excited, but getting my diploma just meant getting my final ticket out of here. There was nothing left for me in New York anymore.
Maria rubbed my shoulder, "Bree... Why don't you call her...?"
I rolled my eyes, realizing I didn't want to call Drew. For once, just once I wanted someone to fight for me because I had fought endlessly for Ashley. Staying up almost every night up every trying to make her understand I still loved her and that she could trust me while I was away. I had tried everything in my power to keep her and had failed when she left.
Then I had fought for Drew by staying by her side whenever she had been at her worst. I had been patient, I had been understanding, and I had been strong for the both of us when she needed me to be.
Now I just wanted someone to fight for me for a change, and it looked like Drew wasn't the person for that.
I protested, "I'm not fighting for anyone anymore. If she doesn't want me then fine."
"But she does want you..."
I looked Maria dead in the eye, a guilty expression washing over her. I was so tired of chasing people when I wasn't worth the effort.
"If she wanted me she would be here, fighting for me. She wouldn't have left. She doesn't want me, and if she believes she's not good enough for me then there's nothing I can do. It's up to her Maria, not me."
I walked off then, realizing that class had ended and we were now the only people here besides the owner. My bag was lying on the far side of the studio, waiting for me to retrieve it before leaving.
Maria hadn't left, but she was readying herself too, refusing to bring Drew up again. She waved me over to hurry but I heard my name being called from the office down the hall. I rolled my eyes, wishing I could just go home and forget about how shitty this week had gone.
I called out to Maria, "Just go. It might be a few."
She nodded, figuring I wanted to be alone anyway as she disappeared out the door.
Standing with my bag slung around my shoulder I made my way down the hall. It wasn't like I was up for talking. I was tired and sad and everything I had been for the past week. Basically I just wanted to go home and sleep.
Peeking my head into the office I caught sight of Monica, "Yes?"
Monica was the owner of the studio. She signaled for me to sit in the chair across her desk and I obliged without protesting, crossing my legs and waiting.
She leaned forward, "I wanted to have a few words before you left. You were my favorite intern out of everyone here. I'm sad to see you go, all the girls loved you."
I smiled at the compliment, surprised that it had managed to lift my mood. Out of all the bad news and horrible things that had happened lately a good word from someone helped me out a lot. She wouldn't know what that really meant.
I nodded, "Thank you, it means a lot to hear that."
She tilted her head, "I heard you have your own studio in Philadelphia? Is that right?"
"Yes," I answered, wondering how on earth she knew that. Maybe word traveled quickly. I didn't know, but I wouldn't lie.
"You'll make a great teacher," she smiled, "but I'm sure you know that already."
I shrugged, "It doesn't hurt to hear it from people that have experience though."
Her kind eyes watched me from across the office, as if she wanted to tell me something else but wasn't sure. It's not like we had conversations every day. I had spoken to her maybe a handful of times over the past four months, but I considered us good acquaintance.
"Has something been bothering you?"
It was like her question had stabbed me right in the chest, the twist of the knife threatening to bring me to my knees. I had to be strong. It had become instinct to blink away the tears when someone asked me something like that. Continuously breaking down every time I thought about Drew needed to stop. I had to get stronger, even though it felt like it was killing me.
"Yea, just a hard week," I mumbled, trying my best.
She didn't seem convinced but who was she to pry into my personal? It was obvious I didn't want to talk, and that I had a huge lump in my throat from how tiny my voice was. She didn't need to know the specifics. She needed to know enough, and I had given her that.
But I still respected her for asking.
She smiled, "Well good luck with everything, and call me if you need anything. I enjoyed having you, Bree."
I just smiled, shaking her hand politely before exiting, "I enjoyed interning here. Thank you."
And with that I left the building, wondering if this was the universe's way of telling me things were starting to look up for me from now on. I sure could use good news and compliments in light of recent events, but what happened tonight would have to do. Hearing that made me believe for a second that things would turn out okay, even if it wasn't what I had planned out in my head.
Sometimes life threw you curve balls, and sometimes they hit you right in the face. The only thing I could do was take the hit and get back up, even when I was terrified of getting hit again. Guaranteed, I was afraid, but I couldn't let fear hold me back. I had made plans thinking I would go through with them with Drew by my side, but I had been wrong, and now I had to start over on my own.
Realizing I didn't have enough cash on me led me towards the bus stop, which wasn't far but it was still a walk. Keeping my head down I paced down the cool streets of New York city, wishing Drew could be next to me.
I couldn't help but remember the day I had walked side by side with her on the afternoon she had asked me out to dinner. How nervous I had been, and how much I had loved being in her presence. That was before I had known her, the real her, but I had only fallen more in love after learning the truth.
I wished I could love her the way I wanted, and wished I could make her see how special she was. That she didn't have to run away. There was nothing I wanted more than her, but I didn't know if it was the same for her. I wanted to believe it was but her absence was proving me wrong, and I refused to go back on what I had confessed to Maria.
I couldn't chase people anymore, even if it was Drew. Putting my heart through that needed to stop, because every time I chased people they always let me down. It happened with Ashley and Drew, so refusing to get burned by the same flame seemed logical.
Maybe it was unhealthy, the whole hardening interior thing I had going on, but it was all I could do to protect myself. I had to push Drew as far away as possible to see if she would ever come back, and I didn't know if it would be soon but you never knew.
She could always call me up tomorrow and admit she had messed up.
Of course that was wishful thinking and getting my hopes up always seemed to bite me in the ass. I didn't want to hurt anymore, but I understood Drew would leave a huge mark on me. A mark no one else could compare too. I had fallen hard and all at once whenever I had met her. I hadn't realized it at the time but looking back now she had stolen a big piece of me early on. Maybe that's why losing her hurt so bad.
The memory of how hard it was hard to breathe around her resurfaced, burning my heart. I missed her so much, and it ached deep in my being. The way I had been mesmerized by her light eyes made its way through my head. The first time we had kissed, us dancing, everything about her had been all I had wanted.
She had bad, but she had so much good to make up for it, and I still found her worth the time. I still found her worth the heartache whenever she didn't. She refused to believe in herself, in her ability, and maybe she had been right.
Maybe we had met at the wrong time, and maybe later when she sorted through everything we would have another chance.
But that didn't take away the pain of missing her, and it didn't take away the need of wanting her here with me right now. I didn't want to wait, I had waited for someone like her for what felt like ages. I had her for a second, and now she had slipped between my fingers and I would do anything to get her back.
Suddenly I took notice to someone pulling off to the side of the road, exiting their car and walking quickly down the sidewalk. It was man who was hooded and tall but I couldn't see him through the dark. I reached for my can of pepper spray just in case, not wanting to give anyone the benefit of the doubt any longer.
He grew closer, and when he emerged under the street light long enough for me to see his features my stomach churned in anguish. I held up my spray but came face-to-face with a shiny, silver barrel straight between my eyes. The coldness of the metal radiated against my skin, fear overtaking me as I dropped my defenses and raised my hands.
I couldn't even speak from the fear that had begun to smother me like a blanket. My blood ran cold, my eyes wide with shock as I stared down the barrel of a .45 and into Evan's menacing eyes.
This moment right here defined what it was like to be faced with your worst fear. I felt the blood drain from my face, a sudden chill possessing my body. I watched my life flashed before me, because I was at a complete dead-end and there was not a damn thing I could do.
An evil smirk slid across his lips, "Bree... It's so good to see you."
My lip trembled as I tried to get a grip on what was going on. I couldn't breathe, like if I moved he would pull the trigger and I would be ended right then and there. I exhaled, too petrified to move my eyes to anywhere besides his.
My silence seemed to encourage him to toy with me further, "What? You don't have any bitchy comments for me?"
I felt tears form from being so terrified, as if crying would somehow make him lower the gun. All it took was a tiny squeeze and it would all be over. I wanted to believe he wouldn't do it but Evan looked even more deranged than the last time I had seen him. He was completely manic.
He demanded, "Speak."
It was like forcing a mute person to acknowledge their voice, and it was outright petrifying. I pushed out what I could manage, "W-What...?"
"What do I want?" He interrupted, as if he enjoyed seeing the terror in my eyes. I couldn't do this. My heart was racing so hard in my chest I felt as if I could pass out any second. If I did he would surely kill me, but what would that do for him? Would it be for revenge? Spite? I wasn't sure.
All I managed was a nod, still unable to speak.
He tilted his head, his arm still raising the gun to my skull. An evil sounding laugh escaped his lips, "What do I want... hmm, well first I wanted the account that rightfully belonged to me..." He paced closer, "Then I wanted Drew to pay me back by losing her fight... but that didn't happen."
He was relentless, and now the gun's metal was pressing against my head. It rested between my eyebrows, scorching me to the bone.
"Now I want you to get in the car."
Was he serious? He wanted me to get into his car and do God knows what? I couldn't do that. I'd rather die than go anywhere with him. But then again if he wanted to kill me he would have, and he hadn't. Although the streets of New York wasn't the place to do this, so maybe cooperating with him was risky.
My voice was small and weak, "W-Why?"
"Questions can get you killed Bree," he teased again, this time his expression showed anger and resentment. I didn't know what I had done to him, or what was going on in his crazy ass head, but I had a gut feeling if I didn't comply I could be dead in a few seconds.
He demanded harder this time, "Get in the car. Now."
I walked slowly, my knees quaking in complete fear as I felt his strong presence behind me. I could feel my hands trembling, my breathing shallow. This was it. This was how I would die. I would die at the hands of Evan because Drew had been right all along. It was too dangerous for me to be involved with her past, but she had been wrong too.
It was too late not to be involved because here I was with a loaded gun pointed to the back of my head.
I sat then, him slamming the door behind me as he walked around and climbed into the passenger. My pulse was pounding in my head, my ears drowned out with nothing but the sound of blood rushing through me. I could've died right there from the fear but I had to hold on. Staying alive to figure out his motive was vital, and I needed to know if he was planning on hurting Drew.
He started his car, gun in his lap while one hand rested on in, preventing me from making a move. Not like I would anyway. He wouldn't hesitate to kill me if it came down to it, and that was the scariest thing of all.
We drove for what seemed like five or ten minutes before he demanded, "Call Drew."
I stared at him, almost expecting this to happen but I was still shocked. I couldn't bring her into this, I couldn't do it...
"I can't..." my voice still small and fragile.
"Call her!" He hissed, me flinching at the loudness of his voice bellowing through the car.
But I couldn't let my fear get the best of me, "Evan... she won't answer. We're not together."
His anger escalated as his free hand grabbed the gun sitting in his lap and pointed it straight at me once again. He continued driving, his eyes focused on the road, "You call her. Right now. Call her until she answers, and when she does you tell her to meet you at the ring. She'll come."
I couldn't do this. I couldn't lead her to where Evan was... but if I didn't I was positive he would kill me. There was something about him, a look in his eyes that screamed crazy, and the more I protested the worse it became. And my heart felt as if it was about to come out of my chest from the sight of the loaded gun aimed right into my temple. I closed my eyes and exhaled, my entire body shuddered as my hands reached for my phone.
It was like dialing up your own death, knowing I was about to intentionally lead Drew to us. I didn't know if Evan planned on committing murder, I didn't know anything. All I knew was that I was seconds away from dying if I didn't.
It rang for a few seconds, my eyes closed tight as I refused to look back at Evan. I was inflamed and frozen all at the same time. Like my insides were iced with fear but my veins burned with adrenaline. I wished for all of this to be a sick dream I would soon wake up from, but recently my reality had become a living nightmare. This was real, and I had to recognize that things were becoming very dangerous.
Then her voice came through, "Bree."
It was like she had expected my call because she didn't sound shocked or curious from me calling. She sounded annoyed, and it could be because she thought I was drunk again.
I stumbled over my words, "I-I need you... I need you to meet me somewhere..."
My voice quivered over the phone, the actual sound of her voice bringing me close to tears. She had no idea what she was about to be pulled into, and if I told her the truth Evan would end me. Everything about this situation was messed up, but there was nothing else I could do.
"Meet you somewhere? Bree I told you-"
"Please," I begged, the lump in my throat making it hard to breathe. This was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Harder than leaving Ashley, harder than learning to leave Drew... it was physically painful. Everything in me wanted to protect her and tell her to leave town, start over and never come back, but if I did I wouldn't live through the night.
She heard the fear in my voice, "What's going on? Where are you?"
Evan nudged the gun into my head, a sob finally breaking free from my mouth. He ordered, "Tell her where and end the call."
I clenched my jaw, fighting the urge to break down as I shut my eyes tight. I responded one last time before hanging up, "The ring," I choked, "Meet me there."
And with that I ended the call, Evan snatching my phone from my hand and shoving it into his pocket. The tears were streaming down my face as I tried my best to remain calm but it was impossible. Drew would walk into this whole thing blind, courtesy of me.
Then I realized if Drew died at the hands of Evan tonight it would be all my fault.
**A/N**
So as you all can tell, this story is quickly approaching its end. I'm excited to share the rest with you guys, and I hope you like quick updates because that'll be happening this week. I hope you all are on edge from this chapter because the next one gets pretty intense. Anyways tell me what you think!
-Lauryn