It was more of a scream or cry than it was a yell. Cordelia wasn't real. I destroyed myself. I ruined myself. I was cold and heartless. I didn't deserve anyone because I deserved to be alone. Those tears I refused to shed over the years because I thought it made me weak poured down my face silently.
"Lila," Forrest says softly and takes a step forward but I take one giant step back.
"Stop. Don't come near me." I sniff. "You don't love me. Not anymore. I want to go home."
"What are you talking about?" Forrest asks carefully.
"I'm done with all of this. You love Cordelia you don't love me. I don't deserve to be here!"
Forrest shakes his head. "You really think that I'm in love with that selfish bitch?" He says in a light joking tone and I almost laugh. Almost.
"Yeah..." I trail off. "I'm a sociopath." More tears spill down my face.
"Okay, first of all, no. I'm not in love with fucking Cordelia. I actually hate her. You never realized this but the moment I found your journal something in you cracked. I saw it. Ever since then you have been showing these signs of compassion and caring for other people. You're strong and independent and basically everything I wish I could be. That is the girl I fell so deeply in love with. And I highly doubt that girl is Cordelia. Cordelia was the girl who would pretend to be the perfect girl for my brother just so she could get the crown."
I don't say anything. I just let him touch my face because it's the last time he will probably ever do it. He could believe those things about me, I would let him. But I knew better.
"Forrest," I say sadly and refuse to look him in the eye. "I don't.. I don't deserve any of this. I don't deserve you or your love or any of this. Don't you see that? I need time to think-"
"Second of all," Forrest continues is a softer tone as I feel him press me up against the wall. "Stop saying you don't deserve anything because you do. Don't you see that? Even when you were persistent on not caring or getting involved that's all you've done. Your need to protect the people you care about was too strong. I'm not letting you go anywhere, Lila. You're not leaving this palace. Not when I've finally got you."
His lips press against mine and we move together in perfect sync. I feel his tongue glide across my lips like he's asking permission.
"But I led Harlan on." I argue as I pull back. "I don't have feelings for him in that way. Shannon actually cares about him and I as going to take that away from her for my own selfish reasons. How can you keep me here?" My question becomes a whisper as Forrest trails light kisses down my neck and across my collarbone.
"Mmm," He hums. "That's right, you said you fell for me. But I want to hear you say it." His lips hover just on top of my shoulder and I lose focus.
"I love you," I say for the first time ever aloud. It felt pretty great to be honest for once.
"And I love you, Lila." Forrest responds as he finds his way back to my lips. Our sweet kisses soon become desperate and hungry as we take each other in. My fingers were digging into his hair and his hands squeezed my waist.
But then I remembered why I had come here and how Forrest could have been killed because of it.
A loud knock on the door startles both of us as Mikhail's deep voice fills the room through the crack in the door. "Miss Leger says she needs you, Miss. "
I pull back with all the strength I have and look up at him. I'm sure my eyes were just as foggy as his. "I came up here for a reason I can't explain to you because it's dangerous. I don't want you to push me on this, I just need you to trust me."
I couldn't leave the palace. Not now. Daisy won't stop until all the Schreaves are dead and a new bloodline can take over to carry out King Clarkson's plan. I wasn't going to let that happen.
"Lila..." He trails off and I just shake my head.
"Trust me. Can you do that?" I ask and his composure shatters and he gives me a nod.
"Yeah, okay. I can do that."
"The tears on my cheeks are good because it will look like I had been crying. I mean, I was but not over the reason a certain person might think."
"I'm not following, but you said to trust you so fine." Forrest says as he kisses right below my jaw and I grab his arms to keep from crumpling to the floor.
"I'm supposed to walk out of here angry and upset not hot and bothered." I scold him and he moans in protest.
"I'll have to stop by your room later, Lila." Forrest says with a boyish smirk on his lips and I can't help but smile.
"Fine. Whatever." I say lamely before taking a deep breath and fixing my hair. My eyes still had to be red from crying and that's the only thing I was counting on. I place my hand on the door handle and crack it open before slipping out like I slipped in.
"Come on," Elise hooks her arm in mine and brings me over to the cart with all her cleaning supplies.
I grip the cleaning cart tightly like I'm fighting back tears and keep my body tense until we round a corner.
"Jesus Cordelia are you okay?" Elise asks in a worried tone and stops the cart. "What the hell did you two talk about?"
Better for her to believe I was mad at him too. "I walked in on him doing, um, it, with Daisy."
"No." Elise says simply, unable to believe it. "Daisy is like..."
"A ghost?" I finish for her. I shake my head. "I don't know. But... I just want to head back. I need to rest. I haven't been doing that lately-" I begin but Elise grabs me by the arm and pulls me against the wall as footsteps walk by. The footsteps go into the room just on the other side of us and the door is left open just a crack but enough so we could hear the conversation.
"I don't know what to do." The voice sounded like Hero no doubt. "How am I supposed to deal with all of this without him?" She cries quietly.
"I'll help you. That's why I'm here," Anders says gently. "Before you know it you'll be back on your feet. I know you will-"
"No. Anders. You don't understand." Hero says in a strangled voice.
"I do understand, Hero. He was my brother too-"
"I'm pregnant," Hero blurts out and Elise and I look at each other with wide eyes.
"We should go." I whisper but Elise shakes her head.
"We could stay just for a little bit..." She trails off and I slap her arm. "Ow," She hisses through her teeth. "What was that for?"
"This isn't our business." I tell her. "Let's head back to my room before we both get in trouble."
Elise seems hesitant but she agrees. We try our best to pass the door unnoticed and it seems to work. We climb in the elevator and it wasn't until we were back on the floor where all the selected slept did I feel safe to let out a long breath. "We did it. How did we manage to pull that off?" I ask her only half joking.
"No one ever notices the help," Elise winks and we head back to my room. She parks the cart right outside my room and we enter together, but my smile drops as soon as I see Daisy standing in the middle of my room.
"You can leave," Elise says with disgust laced in her tone. "I don't think either of us want you here."
Daisy looks at me with a cold stare as she pulls out a gun and holds it on Elise.
Elise screams while I go to stand in front of her but Daisy clicks the safety lock on the gun off, and I pause like a deer in headlights.
"I told you, Lila. I told you not to interfere."
"I didn't." I say carefully. "You told me not to tell anyone who you were and I didn't." My heart was racing fast and I had to think of something quick.
"That's a lie." Daisy snarls and aims the gun lower at Elise's heart. "Mikhail was just arrested by that other Russian guard. He's been brought in for questioning. And did you think I was stupid? I knew you would run to Forrest to try and warn him about all that was happening. Maybe give Hero a little hint?"
"Daisy," I say in a hard tone, wanting anything but to jump in front of that bullet for Elise if that's what I had to do. "I listened to you. I didn't tell anyone. I don't know why Valeriya would suspect him but maybe you should be talking to her."
Daisy laughs roughly. "Honestly? That doesn't really change anything. I know you, Lila. You thought you had an advantage because you were the only one who knew who I was, but you were wrong. Did you think I would even let you breathe a word to Forrest or his mother that the leader might be hiding in this palace?"
"Could you really blame me?" I snap, suddenly angry. She was not taking anyone else I cared about away from me. "I know you would have done the same thing."
"Like I said before, Lila. I'm older, smarter and stronger than you. If I was in your position I actually wouldn't have said anything. I would have gone back to that disgusting foster home of yours. But I can't entirely blame you either." She tilts her head to the side, studying me. "You don't understand how dangerous I am. Your perception of me is muddled and I'm going to fix that."
I move to step in front of Elise when the gun shot sounds from behind me. I whip around and see Athena standing behind Elise while the terrifying color of red pools around the spot where Elise was shot. She pinches forward and I run and catch her.
"No, no, no," I whisper as Elise grunts.
"I've also been told by a nurse that you and Romeo have grown close?" Daisy asks and I snap my head up to look at her. "I would run before she injects him with the same poison I had Lady Cora give America. Strokes can be quite painful." Daisy pouts her lips as she walks around me and nods her head toward Athena. "Stay here and report back to me about her decision." Daisy then glances back at me. "Know this, Lila. Me becoming your maid was no coincidence. You were my biggest threat." Daisy pauses before adding, "You should take that as a compliment." And just like that, she's gone.
I glance back up at Athena with new found hatred that really was meant for Daisy. "Seriously?"
Athena just shakes her head. "You can't stop what's coming, Cordelia. Make your choice."
"Cordelia," Elise says in a strangled voice.
I glance down at her and try not to break down and give up. Just pretend none of this just happened. "Cordelia, please go save Romeo. I owe him, remember?"
"I can't- I can't just leave you." I say to her.
"Athena has known me since I was a little girl." Elise smiles sadly. "I don't think she will let me die." Elise looks over at Athena and I do the same. There was a look of regret in her eyes and that was the only reason I carefully set down Elise. I ripped off a piece of my dress and pressed it to her stomach.
"I was shot in the same spot. Remember? I lived. You can too. Hold pressure here and I will come back with help." I assure her and Elise nods.
I shoot up from my position and race down the halls toward the hospital wing. The only thought in my mind was that I hadn't waited too long. The only thing that kept me going and caused me run like a demon was chasing me was that Elise would be okay. That I survived a shot like that and lived. If I let that nurse inject Romeo with whatever the hell that stuff was he surely would not live. It was confirmed that Daisy had killed America and if she thought that I wasn't going to tell anyone who she was... Well, she is horribly wrong. What else can she possibly do? Forrest isn't in the hands of Mikhail anymore. I know Harlan is protected by Valeriya and that the man who killed Hero's husband seemed to have some strange crush on her. What other leverage can she possibly have? Forrest was wrong when he said I wasn't selfish. Because the only other person left to kill was Anders and honestly, I didn't know the guy too well and it wouldn't affect me that greatly if he was killed. She used all of the leverage she had against me.
My heels had fallen off at some point and it was surprisingly much easier to run in a maid's uniform than in my normal daily dresses. Instead of waiting for an elevator I raced down the stairs and through the long halls, already memorizing the way to the hospital wing. I was almost there. I was almost there.
I ran into someone and spiraled out of control before hitting the floor. "Cordelia?" Taylor asks with concern. "What's going on? And what the hell are you wearing?"
"I'm sorry I have to go," I shoot up but Taylor grabs my arm. Was she working for Daisy too? One selected was already in on it but she was eliminated. They had to have a backup. I had no time to waste to try and figure it out. "I need to get to Romeo, he's in trouble." Is all I can think of to say as I pull my arm out of her grip and run for the hospital wing again.
I burst through the door of the hospital wing and run straight to Romeo's room. I swing open the door and a nurse has a needle pressed to his arm.
The nurse was smiling down at him so sweetly you would have never guessed who she actually was. "Is this some more pain medication?" Romeo asks as his eyes flicker toward the obvious exposed cleavage she was distracting him with. "Because I love the view and all but I really don't want anymore medication."
"STOP!" I scream at her and she glances up at me with a blank stare. Like a mindless robot.
"You made your choice," The nurse says, holding the needle inches from his skin.
"I came here!" I yell on the verge of tears.
"You ripped part of your dress to save Elise. You should have stayed with her, Lila. Now they are both going to die."
I jerk forward just as the needle presses against his skin and Romeo tries to pull his arm away, but it was tied to the bed so he was unable to escape her.
"NO!" I scream, feeling the terror once again grab me as I lost someone else I cared about.
Just when I felt completely broken and hopeless, a shoe whizzes past my head and hits the nurse square in the face. She screeches and collapses to the ground with blood pouring from her nose.
I whip around to see Taylor breathing heavily with her arm raised with her second heel, ready to throw. I stare at her with a mix of love and shock.
"What?" Taylor asks, searching my face. "You said he was in danger, so I figured you might need a little help."