Ella snaps the picture, but Charlie doesn't move that far away. We came to a café together after both Ella and Charlie insisted so much that I had to join them for the weekend. They finally had a day off and, without having to study or anything, and they wanted to do something nice and chill. Because it had been a pretty low week for me and because Cece and Pete had plans, I agreed. Both Charlie and Ella live in Oxford so it's nice to have friends in my hometown.
So far, we have been eating in a booth by the window, Ella across from me and Charlie by my side because he insisted. We have not only eaten in this while but I also got an Instagram account and Ella said that as they made me the account I was obliged to a post a picture with them as my first post. So we took a selfie together and I was taught how to use this thing. Then Charlie told Ella to take a picture of the two of us so he could post it on his own account.
"Okay, and now that I have posted it you can use another app to re-gram or take a screen shot," Charlie explains to me once Ella gives him the mobile back and he has uploaded the picture.
It's actually cute, even if I look tired and kind of uncomfortable because Charlie had his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me so close, but he is smiling brightly and so happily that the whole picture lights up.
"Now do a—how do you say it? Kawaii? I think so," Charlie thinks out loud. "Do a kawaii pose for me."
He aims the camera to me and I kind of panic, so I just frame my face in my palms, trying to do what he asked, keeping a smile and trying to look cute. It'll probably will be an epic fail.
"Oh, that is really cute. New contact picture," he states solemnly, showing me the picture. I think I look ridiculous but oh well, at least he won't post it. "Why do you put your hands like that?" he asks next, imitating the typical pose cupping his face between his palms that form a V.
"I think it's to make your face look a bit smaller and a bit more heart-shaped, but ultimately it's just because it's cute," I try to explain and both Ella and Charlie look at each other, evaluating the pose, making me chuckle.
"Ella still looks stupid, that doesn't help her," Charlie finally comments, almost defeated and I can't help my laugh.
"Oi!" Ella complains, throwing a napkin at him. "You look stupid, too."
I am an only child so I don't really know, but based on what I've seen in films I think Ella and Charlie do act like siblings. Their dynamic is like that and I guess they really see each other as only that. I don't think there's even room for confusion there and there will never be.
"At least we are making Ann laugh, so I guess it doesn't matter if we look stupid." Charlie looks at me after saying that, a little smile on his lips and I lose mine.
Is it still that obvious that I don't feel well? That I'm sad and heartbroken. I haven't been able to cheer up after that party and what Gareth said. The confirmation that he is aware of my feelings and he can't reciprocate them. The humiliation that I felt. I'm so thankful I've been so busy because I don't need excuses to avoid him, I don't even have time to think about him because I'm all day booked, meeting after meeting, planning and working on figuring out what to do next. I can't even reply his text messages until it's really late and I'm practically falling asleep.
"Should we ask what's wrong?" Ella utters, breaking through my train of thoughts and reminding me I'm hanging out with them.
"I feel embarrassed to tell," I confess, looking down. My eyes lock on the cup of coffee in front of me I haven't touched it but the once cute drawing of a teddy bear is disappearing.
I notice Ella leaning forward, resting her elbows on the table and cupping her face. Charlie at my side does something similar, I feel him shifting to focus his total attention on me.
"We won't judge you, even if you are this sad because you ran out of cereal this morning. That is a valid concern, by the way." The little smile comes to my lips after he says that, but I still can't honestly smile or meet their eyes.
"It just... I feel stupid for feeling like this. I have so many other worries, you know? The production, investors giving me migraines, jerky directors and so many other paperwork to deal with. Father has been planning to expand the company and make it an entertainment label instead of just a producer, so I'm also dealing with that, supervising the plans and how the agreements are going."
"And you are alive after all that?" Ella comments bewildered. Her voice sounds so shocked and when I look her in the eyes I can confirm she is impressed.
"Yes," I reply softly. "Even after that I am alive and I'm not even sad for that. It's work, it just makes me tired. What has me feeling like this is just..."
"Your guy..." Charlie completes for me and my heart twists. I haven't even told them Gareth's name, so when they call him your guy, my heart aches. He is not mine and he will never be, and that hurts.
"Gareth, that's his name. He is not my guy," I correct him.
"Gareth as in Gareth Maddox? The Ice Prince?" Ella asks, dumbfounded, and I blush. That was probably why I never mentioned his name, because I knew Ella would recognise him and put the pieces together. And she only knows his public image, hat everyone else thinks of him. "Well, I'm not surprised then that he says he doesn't believe in love or wants a relationship."
I feel like defending Gareth, saying he isn't that cold, but Ella isn't saying something wrong. It is because he's cold and very professional that he doesn't want to get sidetracked, because he is Gareth he doesn't want to even fall in love, ever.
"I'm even more impressed that you became friends with him," she continues.
"Should I be worried that I'm competing against a famous actor?" Charlie asks out loud, surprising me all over again.
"Charlie, I told you to give up. She is in love with Gareth. Why do you think she's so sad?" Ella scolds him but Charlie looks at her with a stubborn stance.
"Charlie St. James does not know the meaning of give up and he will never talk in third person again. Ever." I laugh this time, and a small part of me wishes I would like a boy like Charlie, honest and straightforward, not someone who can't even accept the possibility of starting a relationship. He would always make me laugh and try to keep me happy.
But Charlie isn't the guy I like.
"What did he do to make you sad this time? I thought things were going fine," Ella goes back to the topic and dismisses Charlie's jokes.
"There was this party Mare threw and the whole crew was invited," I start.
"Mare Johnson? She's my cousin, did you know?" Ella mentions, getting distracted for a second.
"She's the only untalented potato in the family," Charlie adds, making me chuckle again, especially when Ella leans forward to smack him, but then she nods, accepting he was right.
"Well, I went with Cece to this party but Gareth was also there. He was a bit tipsy so when he found me he said things he wouldn't normally say. Like he didn't want to give me hopes. Before he had said I looked cute so he referred to that."
"That jerk," Charlie mumbles under his breath, I look down.
"He rejected me again," I summarise. "And he had been avoiding me before so I assume it's for the same reason, because he didn't want to give me hopes. He knows I like him but he doesn't feel the same way." I look up to meet Ella's green eyes. Hers are sympathetic and that offers a bit of comfort. "You told me to enjoy my feelings for as long as they didn't bother him. I guess the time to move on has come."
Ella doesn't get a chance to say anything because Charlie beats her to it. "Let's go play." Both Ella and I look at him confused, willing him to explain. "You are sad and heartbroken, and you are thinking of moving on, right? Then you need to have fun. Let's hop in my car, we are going to an amusement park. You're gonna scream and get rid of all that stress. Come on, let's go."
To be honest, we don't get much chance to argue because Charlie takes control of the situation. He pays for everything and soon we are in his car and he is driving away from Oxford, to whatever amusement park he knows. He even pays for the tickets and we really don't get to say a thing. I think Ella and I are too surprised. We even follow him to the first ride, a rollercoaster. I have gone to other amusement parks, particularly Disneyland in Tokyo, but never to this one.
"Remember to scream and even curse him if you want to, okay? All your frustration for the production and whatever is making you conflicted, let it all go now," Charlie reminds me with a warm smile when it's our turn to ride.
Ella seems to have accepted her destiny and is ready to enjoy the ride. She smiles brightly at me, encouragingly. When the harness comes down, securing me on my spot, my heart starts racing. The cars start retreating and going up, gaining altitude and speed to then make us go all the way forward, so fast I can't even see the things passing by our side.
I start screaming immediately, closing my eyes for a second as my stomach twists in a billion knots. I do feel someone grabbing my hand and when I look to my right I see Charlie laughing hysterically. He makes me raise my arms and screams louder, inviting me to do the same. A loop comes and I feel my soul leaving my body, I scream so loud I think I will lose my voice. And it seems endless, so many turns and loops, and I never stop screaming or let go of Charlie's hand.
When we are back on land my legs are shaking and my heart is still racing.
"So, how was that?" Ella asks, smiling brightly and full of life. I probably look like a ghost right now.
"Horrifying," I blurt out. "But oddly refreshing. I do feel lighter. Although that might be because I lost my soul and half of my life." I laugh, feeling better after so much screaming, getting my colours back and getting a taste for the rush of adrenaline. "It was great."
"And that's just the beginning. Come with me," Charlie states, wrapping an arm around each of us and walking like that. "This will help you clear your mind, Ann. After today you can decide what you want to do respect Gareth. Whether you try to move on or just wait. But as for now, just enjoy and let the adrenaline do its job."
I smile, thankful that Charlie brought us here. I am going to scream and let go of everything that is twisting my heart, and after that I'll make my decision.
"And if you decide to move on, give me a call. I'd love to take you on a date," he adds, catching me off guard with that. "I'm serious. You don't have to answer now, but think about it. If you agree, let me know."
I can only blink, as surprised as Ella, who is watching her friend that is now looking ahead and leading us to the next ride. I really have a lot to think about after this day is over.
>>>·<<<
What will Ann do? What do you think? I hope you liked the chapter :) Please share your thoughts on the comments and don't forget to vote if you liked the chapter. Even if you are offline, you can still vote. Wattpad will do its magic later.
Dedication to thatcherhoran
Bel, xx
NU: Tuesday