My dearest Bessie,
Please forgive me for not writing sooner. I have been in Somerset for some time now, and have experienced many things which I wished to share with you, but I have been unsure of how to express myself. Now I find myself sitting alone at my writing table in the luxurious guestroom at Broxcliffe Park, feeling perhaps the loneliest I have ever been my entire life. So I turn to you, my dear, faithful sister, to tell of some of the events which have occurred this past week, and hope in return for some of the sisterly comfort which only you can provide.
I have found Somerset itself to be a beautiful county; I am sure you would find many a pretty scene here to capture your artistic fancy. Unfortunately, as for the inhabitants of Barnbury, I cannot give the same praise. My aunt and uncle have treated me with nothing but perfect kindness and hospitality; it is the neighbours I find fault with, namely the Viscount Russell of Barnbury and his family, who reside at Wyndham Hall.
The Viscount himself behaves perfectly charmingly in company – a little too charmingly for my liking. My aunt has heard various rumours, and I myself suspect him of being a rake – so imagine our horror to find that my cousin Julia has fallen in love with him! He appears to make her exceedingly happy, and so when I tried to gently warn her against him, she became greatly vexed, and has barely spoken two words to me since. You of all people know the closeness Julia and I have always shared, so you must understand how agonising it is for me to receive her indifferent treatment.
Lord Russell has a younger sister, a Miss Eleanor Russell, who I was told is a very accomplished young lady, and very unassuming. However, I have found only the first part to be true. She is indeed a very talented musician – and I will own to you, Bessie, that I am rather jealous of her natural talent – but she seems far too interested in flirting and gossiping for my liking, and I find her conversation tedious. I fear my cousin William has become besotted with her, as, it seems, has a professor from Cambridge who is also visiting Somerset, and I am ashamed to admit that Miss Russell's ever-growing list of suitors only heightens my jealousy.
Oh Bessie, now I must tell you of the most grievous mistake I made at a ball at Wyndham Hall last night! It is almost too distressing to recount, but I know that I must tell you of my folly! I suppose I had been feeling rather miserable as I witnessed Miss Russell's attentions from Professor Lawes and Julia's attentions from Lord Russell, so when William told me how beautiful I looked, I fear my mind ran away with itself and led to all manner of dangerous fancies. My dearest, dearest sister, you cannot begin to imagine the mortification I feel as I write that I believed my cousin William to be in love with me!
Yes, in love with me! Entertain that absurd notion for a moment, if you will! Oh, how I wish I'd had you by my side last night, so that you might have put a stop to my ridiculous romantic ideas there and then. Instead I blissfully believed myself to have a gentleman admirer – and such a fine one at that – until William all but confessed his passionate love for Miss Russell before me! As you can imagine, this was simply too much to bear, and I behaved in the most unladylike manner, hurrying away without so much as excusing myself!
If only the evening's events had ended there – but alas, there was further mortification yet to come! Just after I left William, Professor Lawes asked me to dance, and I consented, unaware that he had in fact already marked Miss Russell's dance card. Imagine my shock when Miss Russell herself came to us and reminded Professor Lawes of his prior engagement, leaving him with no choice but to dance with her instead! Never had I witnessed such brash behaviour from a young lady, and one who was supposed to be unassuming at that. It was very wrong of Professor Lawes to forget his engagement, but Miss Russell really had no business behaving in such a manner, causing much discomfort for both the professor and myself.
Dinners and balls are all good fun, I suppose, but I confess I have not found my Somerset experience to be anything like I had imagined. I cannot like the Viscount and his sister – or their mother, particularly – yet both my cousins think them the most wonderful people they ever met. William pines for Miss Russell, and I can hardly bear to be in his company after my folly, which none but you must ever know about! Julia drifts around in raptures of happiness, yet grows colder with me by the day, and I find myself fearing for our friendship.
I long for home, Bessie, especially you. If it were not for my aunt and uncle's happiness at having me here, there would be little stopping me from returning immediately! But that cannot be, so for now I will comfort myself with knowing that I am sure you will reply as soon as you receive this. I will be eagerly awaiting your letter!
Your dear sister
Catherine
Catherine sealed the letter with a heavy sigh, and an even heavier heart. It was the morning after the ball, and the atmosphere in the breakfast room at Broxcliffe Park a couple of hours earlier had done little to improve her spirits. Julia was the only one amongst them who had experienced an evening of enjoyment, and she wasted no time in recounting every single dance Lord Russell had partnered her for, blissfully unaware that her tales were falling on deaf ears. It was all Catherine could do to nod politely every so often as she pretended to be paying at least some attention, so she started when Julia suddenly addressed her directly as they were leaving the table.
"I have been invited to accompany Miss Russell into Barnbury on an errand later this morning," Julia announced with an air of great importance, "and she has most kindly extended the invitation to you, Catherine."
An entire morning spent with Miss Russell, subject to her vain, foolish chatter? Catherine couldn't possibly think of anything worse! Unfortunately she did not have any plans of her own, other than writing to Bessie, and so felt it would be improper to do anything but oblige.
"I would be honoured," she replied, through gritted teeth.
"Very well," said Julia, without a trace of her usual warmth.
It was this display of coldness from Catherine's dear cousin which had led to her pouring the contents of her heart onto the slip of paper now clutched in her hand. How could things have turned so sour between Julia and herself in such a short space of time? When Catherine had arrived in Somerset just over a week ago they had been as close as sisters, yet now Julia could hardly bear to spend five minutes in her company – it broke her heart.
It all came down to the Russells, really. Catherine's questioning Lord Russell's character had been what began all this; that was what had made Julia angry the morning after the dinner at Wyndham Hall. And as Julia had grown closer to Lord Russell, clearly she had also become closer to his sister. Catherine had never really made her dislike for Miss Russell a secret, so evidently this had angered Julia further.
Perhaps Lord Russell had been a rake – but Catherine could only really make judgements based on the way she had witnessed him acting, and from what she had seen, he treated Julia in the right way. Perhaps she had been wrong to jump to conclusions about his character based on mere rumours. He'd always behaved in a gentlemanlike way so far, and it was clear he felt a particular affection for Julia.
With a sigh, Catherine decided she would keep her nose out of Julia's love affairs from now on. After all, what good had it done so far? All she had managed to achieve was creating tension and ill-feeling between Julia and herself. And if giving Lord Russell a chance also meant putting up with Miss Russell, so be it. Catherine could never see herself getting on particularly well with her, but surely she could manage to be civil at least?
It was with this attitude that Catherine accompanied Julia over to meet Miss Russell at Wyndham Hall, having donned her best new bonnet in the hope of improving her spirits a little - after all, it is often much easier to think agreeably about things when one is wearing their best clothing. Within five minutes of being in Miss Russell's company, however, Catherine decided that all the pretty clothes in the world could not make her enjoy spending time with this foolish woman. Nevertheless, she reminded herself firmly of her promise to be civil, and so made appropriate comments when called upon, and pretended to be interested when Miss Russell reeled off the long list of gentleman who had asked her to dance the previous night.
All in all, the walk into Barnbury passed about as pleasantly as Catherine could have expected. Presently the ladies found themselves in the centre of the village, and as Miss Russell entered the dressmaker's shop, Catherine found herself alone with her cousin for the first time since their disagreement. Catherine suspected that Julia had been purposefully avoiding her ever since, so it was a relief to finally be granted an opportunity to speak with her cousin uninterrupted. She was determined to try and make amends for their falling out, and decided there was no time like the present to do so.
"On leaving the house this morning I found it very warm and pleasant, but now I am sure I feel a chill in the air. Do you not think so, cousin?"
This, Catherine felt, was a very safe opening topic of conversation; there could surely be nothing for Julia to object to here. However, her heart sank to see no wavering in the cold expression Julia now seemed to wear whenever in Catherine's company.
"I find it no colder than one would expect for this time of year," Julia replied, with a rather haughty sniff.
There was no more time to be wasted on false civilities; Miss Russell might well return to them at any moment, and who knew when such a chance to clear the air with Julia would come along again? Throwing caution to the wind, Catherine told herself it was time to get stuck right in to the root of the problem.
"Julia, please know that I am grievously sorry for speaking out of turn that morning after dining at Wyndham Hall," she implored desperately.
"So you now admit that you spoke out of turn," said Julia, her tone full of wickedness but completely without humour, the sound making Catherine's stomach turn. Clearly her cousin planned to make this as uncomfortable as possible. But Catherine remained undeterred; she endeavoured to do whatever necessary in order to repair their relationship.
"Yes," replied Catherine, trying and failing not to appear too exasperated. "I confess I made judgements about Lord Russell's character based on gossip, rather than waiting to form an opinion from my own observations. After considering his behaviour with you, Julia, I have come to the conclusion that he has never been anything but perfectly gentlemanly and proper, and therefore I apologise profusely for my brashness. If you do feel a romantic affection for Lord Russell, and he for you, then I am truly happy for you."
After this most heartfelt outburst, Catherine had hoped to have at least made some impact on her cousin's cold mask. To her horror, however, Julia seemed to find the whole thing amusing!
"You speak as though you are granting me your permission to love Lord Russell!" retorted Julia, lips curling into an unpleasant smirk. "I do not require your approval in choosing who I give my heart to, Catherine."
It was at this moment that Catherine realised the situation was lost, and she tossed her head back in despair, surveying the skies in defeat. She also realised that she had been correct in detecting a chill in the air. During her conversation with Julia, clouds had been busy gathering overhead, and now, as Miss Russell returned, it suddenly began to drizzle, leading to the three ladies retreating hastily inside the shop doorway to take shelter and contemplate their sorry predicament.
"Oh why could the beastly weather not have waited an hour longer to turn!" exclaimed Miss Russell furiously.
"It truly is most unfortunate timing, but there is not much to be done other than remaining here until it stops," said Julia soothingly. "It may be just a shower."
But Miss Russell's spirits were not to be calmed.
"And if the rain persists, what then? We cannot huddle in this doorway together all day long! Mama will be quite ill with worry if she looks out of the window and realises that I am out in such weather."
At this Julia evidently decided that it was best to remain silent, and made no reply. Catherine, however, had an opinion which she simply could not keep to herself. To her eyes, at least, the rain currently seemed nothing more than a somewhat misty drizzle. There was a chance that it might set in or become heavier, so would it not be better to hurry home now, while the rain was still light enough hopefully not to give one of them a cold, rather than stay put and remain stuck in the doorway, potentially for hours? She voiced this thought to the others:
"You could remain with us at Broxcliffe Park until the rain stops, Miss Russell, for it is much closer than Wyndham Hall. If we hurry now, we should be there before it becomes too dreadful."
Miss Russell did not quite seem to share Catherine's views.
"'Hurry now', indeed!" she exclaimed, whirling her arms about dramatically. "Never did I hear such a ridiculous idea! You, Miss Taylor, may be used to scurrying about the country in all kinds of weather, but I certainly will not! No, I shall remain here until it passes over."
Catherine, becoming tired of the foolish woman's outbursts and insults, was about to set off for Broxcliffe Park alone when two things happened simultaneously: the drizzle suddenly turned into a heavier, more persistent rain – and a small carriage turned into the street before coming to a halt outside the shop, no doubt after having spotted the three ladies in distress.
The relief upon each lady's face must have been evident – even Catherine no longer had a desire to venture out into this increasing wetness – but her relief was short-lived, for who should step out of the carriage but Professor Lawes.
"Good day, ladies," he greeted them, touching his top hat to them as he hurried over to where they were grouped. "What brings you to Barnbury on such an unpleasant afternoon?"
"Miss Taylor and I were accompanying Miss Russell on an errand," Julia explained.
"It was in fact a most pleasant afternoon when we set out from Wyndham Hall," cut in Miss Russell haughtily, evidently wanting to clarify that she did not 'scurry about the country in all kinds of weather', "and so it remained until this last quarter of an hour, when we suddenly found ourselves trapped in this very doorway, unable to return home until the rain passes. I am sure you will understand my current state of anxiety, Professor, for you know that Mama frets terribly about my health, and it grieves me to cause her any alarm."
"Yes," muttered the professor contemplatively, peering out at the soggy street, "it would not do to distress Lady Russell unnecessarily. You must take my carriage and return to Wyndham Hall at once."
Catherine felt satisfied at this ready display of gallantry, relieved to see that the man possessed at least some sense of propriety after all.
"I thank you, sir, you are most kind," Miss Russell replied, though the way she hurried into the carriage suggested she was only wondering why it had taken Professor Lawes so long to make the offer. "It is rather cramped in here," she added once seated.
"Unfortunately my lifestyle does not afford the kind of luxuries you are accustomed to, Miss Russell," the professor admitted regretfully. There was a softness in his brown eyes as he gazed at the viscount's sister, and Catherine found herself revisiting the idea of his being in love with her as the only plausible explanation for willingly putting up with Miss Russell's ungrateful behaviour. It was only natural if he did love her that he would seem apologetic, knowing that he could not offer the sort of lifestyle she was used to.
"Indeed my carriage is only small – and though I did not think of this at first, it comes to my attention now that it will only seat two, and yet there are three of you ladies."
The professor looked most aggrieved at this complication, and well he might, for now he was to be put in an extremely difficult position. Miss Russell was already seated, therefore she must now be sent on to Wyndham Hall – but the question of what was to be done about Catherine and Julia remained unanswered. Would Professor Lawes choose to accompany Miss Russell alone and send the carriage back for Julia and Catherine? Or would he instead send one of them along with Miss Russell and wait with the other?
When he eventually did come to a decision, Professor Lawes in fact chose neither of these options. What he did propose shocked everyone, especially Catherine.
"Perhaps – if Miss Cavendish were to join you back to Wyndham Hall, Miss Russell, in order to assure Lady Russell that you are in good health, then perhaps I could accompany Miss Taylor to Broxcliffe Park on foot."
On foot? Catherine wondered for a moment if her ears had deceived her. She was aware by now not to expect much gallantry from this man, but did he wish to make her ill? The curtain of rain now falling was beyond anything she would ever dare to venture out in.
"That is a fine idea, sir – do you not agree, Miss Taylor?" asked Miss Russell suddenly, eyes glinting with malice. "As you said yourself, it is not far to Broxcliffe Park, and you would have had us all venture there on foot if Professor Lawes had not arrived with his carriage."
Words failed Catherine; meanwhile, Julia had scuttled inside the carriage to join Miss Russell without a moment's hesitation. So much for family loyalty, thought Catherine sourly. Her cheeks burned with humiliation as she glanced about her, feeling more strongly aware than ever before of her inferior rank in Barnbury society. Clearly the professor viewed her as no more than a mere peasant, unable to afford a more luxurious mode of transport than her own two feet. This certainly was not the case - her family was not so common as that - but before Catherine could protest, Professor Lawes directed the carriage driver to Wyndham Hall and off it went.
"Shall we?" prompted the professor brightly, clearly oblivious to Catherine's expression of utter horror. "It does not rain too much."
Catherine could not agree with this statement, but what was there to do but follow him? Lamenting the inevitable ruin of her new bonnet, she stepped out from under her shelter and began to slosh along the street after the professor. She clutched the bonnet miserably to her head as icy droplets of rain pelted her in the face, quite unable to believe the man's jaunty manner at such a time.
"I hope you enjoyed the ball last night, Miss Russell," Professor Lawes said conversationally as they began to make their way up the winding lane out of Barnbury. "I am truly sorry that circumstances prevented us from dancing together, for I would have very much liked to."
This was perhaps the most willing the professor had ever been to strike up a conversation with Catherine, except perhaps when he'd asked her to dance the night before, and Catherine's head was reeling. Never had she met such an utterly perplexing man. From the moment they had met he had seemed most unwilling to form any sort of acquaintance, yet now, under the most inappropriate of circumstances, he was behaving as if they were old friends! It was all too much for Catherine, and such was her vexation that she found herself quite unable to reply.
They had been walking some time now, and Catherine could feel her clothing clinging to her with increasing dampness. By this point her state of discomfort could no longer escape the professor's notice, and his eyes darkened with anxiety under the brim of his hat as he surveyed her sodden form.
"I fear you look rather unwell, Miss Taylor," he stuttered. "Forgive me – I truly – I did not realise it rained so much."
Catherine's misery at this point was such that she no longer had any will to respond, wishing for nothing more than to be back at Broxcliffe Park sat in front of a blazing fire. Professor Lawes now returned to his usual awkward silence, and Catherine was more than happy to pass the remainder of the journey without conversation. She dearly wished she had not already sent off the letter to Bessie, for she would certainly have had a comment or two to add about this afternoon's events.
When Catherine finally returned to Broxcliffe Park, however, there was something so terrible waiting for her there that her anger towards the professor, and even her fear of falling ill, were wiped completely from her mind.