Darkness invaded her senses and swept at her emotions. She kept her eyes clenched shut as she felt the blood trickle down her hand. Taking a breath and steeling herself she opens her eyes but she isn't prepared and will never be prepared. Her gaze rises and she meets gun-metal gray eyes. She clutches at the jagged piece of glass in her hand to reassure herself, to remember. His lips rise into a smirk as he takes a step forward. She shudders in fear or anger but she doesn't know which. His steps are slow and stalking as he stops in front of her. A knife glitters in his hand as he raises it above him. She waits, her eyes not leaving his. As it starts to descend she plunges forward stabbing him deeply in the abdomen. His smirk fades as she yanks the glass to the side then rips it out. His mouth opens and he speaks as he collapses to the ground.
"But, how?" She kneels at his side her face grim as she meets his eyes.
"Because, Lucius, I have never and will NEVER be your slave. I am who I am. I told you not to hit me. I told you to stop. I told you that you would regret it. I told you to let me go and you refused. You insisted you could break me." Her hands tremble as she tries to drop the piece of glass in her fist but she cannot. "And so you have Lucius. So you have. NOW I'm broken and there is nothing that you or anyone else can do to change what I have done." His eyes flash triumph before the light fades. She watches while he breathes his last and then allows the glass to slide from her hand.
Her legs tremble as she stands and struggles not to fall back down. She wipes the blood on her tattered shirt as the doors to the room fly open. She blinks at the two men standing in the doorway but says nothing. There is nothing to say. They stare at her in horror as she calmly stoops down and picks up her piece of glass, her talisman and walks past the two men. She pauses as she passes them and looks to the one on the right. His eyes the same gray color as his brother on the floor. Her words are strong and there is a bite to them as she speaks.
"You said I could trust him Lore. You said he was safe and I believed you and I went. Now your brother is dead and I am broken." He starts to speak but she shakes her head not wanting to hear. Her hands clutches at the piece of glass in her hand and she ignores the bite of pain as she drips blood on the floor. "NO! I won't hear anymore lies. If you need me I'll be at the police station. Hopefully they'll give me the death sentence, it's nothing less than I deserve because he wins. He always wanted to win and now he has. I am nothing and I never will be and it's my own fault." With that she walked away. Her clothes in tatters, her body battered, and death in her hands.
TWO DAYS LATER LEA POV
I stare blankly at the two officers in front of me as I struggle not to scream in frustration. Their eyes are kind even though two days ago I killed a man. And now this. I keep the screams inside because I can't seem to let them out or anything else for that matter. Ever since I came in and confessed to killing Lucius I haven't been able to speak. I write everything down but all I hear is the screaming in my head. The female officer reaches out and taps the table to get my attention. They do not want to touch me. I lash out if I'm touched now. I hurt people if I'm touched now.
"Lea, this isn't your fault. We went over the crime scene. We saw how you were. You did what had to be done. Your free to go. Your family is here to take you home." I jerk back at that and meet the female officers eyes as I shake my head and stand. I stop in front of the door waiting for them to open it. The male officer opens the door as the female starts to place her hand on my shoulder, hovering inches from it, just stopping herself as I tense and struggle to breath. She pulls her hand away and speaks.
"Lea you need you see someone. You need to talk about this." I look at her and she flinches at the dead look that I know is there in my eyes. Then I walk out of the room and to the entrance of the police station where THEY are. My mother, father and six overbearing brothers. They all rush forward but I hold up my hand and they stop. I reach out and pull Mal's cell from his pocket and quickly type on it then hand it to them. I hear their gasps as I step out the door but I don't stop and they don't follow. Guilt holds them in place and I can feel their sorrow beating at me as I walk down the street. The words of the text echo through my mind and I know that I was to harsh with them but I don't care. They hadn't known who I had killed. The police had kept it out of the media. I had killed my brothers' best friend. I had killed their Alpha. I was now walking death anyway. The text had said this:
I AM NOTHING. YOU CAN'T SAVE ME AND I CAN'T HIDE. I KILLED LUCIUS AND NOW THEY WILL FIND ME. STAY AWAY FOR I AM ALREADY DEAD. LEAVE ME TO DIE.
......................
I walk a long time until my body forces me to stop. Everything aches as I stop at a seedy motel and use my credit card to rent a room for the night. Luckily I remembered to get my things back before I had left the police station. I don't use cash. I want them to find me. I go the the room and shut the door. I don't lock it. I tear off the clothes that the police had got for me and walk into the bathroom. I stay under the shower and scrub until my skin is pink and the water is cold. I step out and wrap a towel around myself as I swipe the fog off the mirror. I lean against the counter and stare at nothing. Me, I am NOTHING. My eyes are wide and shockingly blue, so blue I sometimes I startle people when I look at them directly. My face is oval shaped and my lips are full. My hair is black and hangs to my waist, he liked to drag me around the room by it in fact. The bruises have faded some what and I have splotches of color from them all over my face. I take a breath and drop the towel, looking down. I haven't looked until now. Since I'm fixing to die I should face it. There are more bruises, a lot more. Several healing wounds since he did stab me once and throw me into a mirror. I turn my back to the mirror and look over my shoulder so I can see it. Clenching my teeth I pull my hair away and I stare at the words across my shoulder blades. Can see it even though it's been stitched up. My name is carved deeply into my back, all the way across. NOTHING. I let my hair fall and I step back into the other room and pull on the clothes the police gave me then I sit on the bed to wait. They will come for me soon enough.
When the knob twists I'm waiting. My back is straight and my teeth are gritted. I hear a curse as they realize I have it unlocked and they open it. Immediately they rush into the room and for the first time since that night I smile as the three men walk into the room and surround me. The first man in shuts the door. When I speak I startle myself. I haven't had words for awhile.
"I am Nothing. I know my fate and it is death so give it to me. But I would suggest a hands off approach I can't seem to handle touch anymore. Things end violently that way. A gun perhaps or a knife would be very fitting." I feel six eyes on me but I don't tremble as I stand and throw my arms wide. I allow a single tear to slide down my cheek but that is all. I look at the first man in the door as he takes a step forward. It's Lore of course, since it was his brother I killed. I bare my teeth at the look in his eyes. "DO IT LORE!!!!! I don't want or need any pity!!!" Throats clear and I look at the eyes, meet them, and see what they say. My arms drop as I start to shake. "No not that." Lore steps in front of me then he kneels and speaks.
"Forgive me Alpha." I say nothing but instead collapse into the darkness. Maybe I can stay there.
................
I open my eyes and know I'm still asleep. You would think that I dream of that night and the nights before that but I don't. I dream of my family and the love I used to feel for them. I haven't been able to feel anything since I'd killed Lucius. I dream of my eighteenth birthday party. Two months before I went to Alpha Lucius to find out why I hadn't shifted yet. I watch as my mom and dad carry out the three tier cake. It's purple and black, my favorite colors. I smile as Mal, my oldest brother and best friend elbows me. His brown eyes are filled with mischief as he speaks.
"Did you do it?" I grin and elbow him in the ribs.
"Shut it or he'll figure it out." There's a bellow from inside the house and both of us snicker. Mom sets down the cake, looks at us knowingly, then turns and runs into the house. Ten minutes later she comes out with my youngest older brother Mack beside her. His face is bright red but the skinny mustache he'd been trying to grow is gone. Mal and I burst into laughter until my mom glares at us. Mack growls and punches Mal in the kidney. I growl back at him and swiping up my piece of cake I shove it in Mack's face.
"Don't hit him Mack." I wish I could stay here watching these happy memories but I know I have to face what they have done to me. I don't know yet if I'll even tell them I can shift now. Lucius had definitely helped me with that part. Not that I had needed it to kill him. I had waited til he went out and had soaked everything that could be used as a weapon with powdered silver. He carried so many knives on him that I knew he wouldn't be able to smell it. He likes to torture his enemies. I had told him not to leave me alone and I used any opportunity I had to plot against him. I'd just wanted to shift like the rest of my brothers had when they'd turned sixteen. Then after I didn't when I was eighteen they'd gotten worried. I am a full blooded bear shifter. There was no way I couldn't shift. Besides my bear talked to me all the time so I knew I had one. So they had sent me to Lucius. What a mistake that had been.
................
"Lealah." I punch at who ever's calling me. I hear a grunt as I sit up from the bed I'm in. I stare, my face blank, at the blood pouring down Lore's face. His eyes aren't angry though they're filled with laughter.
"Nice one Lea. I swear not to call you that again." I look around and see I'm still in the hotel I passed out in. I raise my brow at Lore and he shrugs.
"I'm not carrying you home. I saw the video at the police station. You were fine when you came in but as soon as they went to handcuff you, it was on. If one of the cops hadn't been a shifter he'd be dead. You ripped his arm off, Alpha. No...way...in...hell...am I touching you. Thank Goddess, arms grow back. I frown when I notice the screaming in my head is gone and glance back to Lore. He's taken his shirt off and is pressing it to his nose to stop the flow of blood. I must have broken it.
"Hell yeah you did and the screaming is gone because the pack is helping bare your burden. It'll help you get better faster." I don't fail to notice that he had skimmed my thoughts as I growl at him. He quickly snaps straight up when he hears the Alpha in my voice.
"Don't give me help if I don't ask for it." With that I slide out of the bed and rush back to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. As soon as I slam the door shut I punch my fist into the mirror. The mirror shatters into a thousand pieces as blood drips down my hand. I scream in anger as I stare into thousands images of me. Thousands of nothings stare at me as I fall to my knees pounding at the glass. I feel arms wrap around me and I scream in rage, lashing out. My fists connect with flesh as sparks fly between us. I turn to stare into gun-metal gray eyes as my breath stops in my lungs. I fall back as my throat constricts and I can't seem to breath. My head slams into the sink as I hear a voice telling me to breath then I pass out. Some Alpha I am.
...................
I wake up, my heart pounding in my chest. I start to panic when I realize there are people beside me on the bed and at the bottom by my feet. I'm afraid to open my eyes, afraid that I've killed whoever they are. Then I feel a hand rub my arm and I tense but don't attack like I've been doing. I never consciously attack my bear just takes over and I come back to people bleeding all over me. But since I'm not attacking I know who's in the bed with me and I slowly open my eyes. I wait for my vision to clear and see that three of my brothers are in the bed with me.
Then I sniff the air when I smell someone else. Their not as close to me but they are in the room. They smell like warm chocolate. I go to sit up but an arm goes around my waist. I look over to see Mal, grinning widely. I don't say anything. I just stare at him with that blank look in my eyes. His smile falters and he reluctantly pulls his arm away. I don't ask why they're in the bed with me I know. Most Weres of any kind are comforted by touch and being close to each other. I haven't had that in a while and they were probably the only ones who could get close besides him.
Remembering the smell I jerk up, sending whichever brother's laying behind me off the side of the bed but I ignore him. I look towards the door only to have my eyes collide with gun-metal gray eyes. I freeze for a moment then take another deep breath, inhaling the warm chocolate smell. I watch as he does the same.
I want to go over there, too. I pull my eyes away and remind myself of who I am. I am nothing. I close my eyes and try to think like Glenna. I gasp and leap over the brother at the head of the bed. My breath comes in short gasps as I rip my nightgown off and throw on a t-shirt and jeans. I whirl in a panic to see four males staring at me wide eyed as I realize I'd just changed in front of them and they'd seen the marks all over me. I look to him and his eyes are black. I know he wants to shift but there's nothing to kill, I've already done that. Shaking my head I speak and everyone's eyes jerk to me.
"Has anyone been in Luscius's room?" Mal frowns then shakes his head no and my breath starts coming in shorter gasps. It's been four days. I'd forgotten. How could I have forgotten? I grasp my hair in my hands as I speak. "Is Mickey still standing outside his door?"
"Yes. He gets meals taken to him. He refuses to move from his position even though Luscious is dead. He left for a few hours when the police were here but went back to his post. I was actually going to talk to you about it but..." He trails off and looks over to him, the one who smells like warm chocolate, and I allow myself to think my mate's name even if I don't deserve it. Lore...his name is Lore. I realize I'm pulling at my hair and quickly let go then I bite down on my lip to stop the panic attack. Not now, later...after. Looking around frantically I see my necklace lying on the dresser. Grabbing it I grip the glass shard that I'd gotten from a broken mirror for a second. Then I reluctantly slide it over my neck as I start to storm out of the room. Lore clears his throat as if to speak but I shake my head.
"Follow me." I hear scrambling behind me and I know they're following. People open doorways as I storm past and I realize I'm growling and snarling and broadcasting my rage. I slam down my link to the pack as I storm to the end of the hall and come to a stand still in front of Mickey. Mickey is standing there, leaning against the door, as if nothing is going on. I hear Lore scream my name as my hand shifts into claws and I shove them into Mickey's shoulder as I slam him into the wall. When I speak I realize I'm using my Alpha voice.
"How could you? You didn't....you just STOOD HERE! DID YOU AT LEAST GO IN!!!!" He pales, this man that's at least 6'5 and and a foot taller than me, and I realize I'm fixing to rip his shoulder out. I take a deep breath and loosen my hold, slightly. As I stare him down he shakes his head no. Roaring, I slam him into the wall, knocking him out. Mal runs over and kneels by Mickey as he looks up at me.
"What the hell sis?" I growl and he shuts up as I look to Lore. His eyes connect with mine but he doesn't say anything, just waits.
"Get someone to make up a lot of food. Then get the pack's doctor...."
"Lea, what..." I turn back to Mal and I know he sees how close to loosing control I am.
"Shut up and let me finish." His eyes narrows but he shuts up as I turn back to Lore, who's looking at me with an unreadable expression and I know he wants to know why I'm going in Luscious's but they'll all find out soon enough. "...and bring all of them here, NOW! Get everyone including Mickey out of this room and someone go collect....Kleo. Do NOT let Mickey wake up til both of him and Kleo are in a cell and locked down. Lore and Mal can stay in this room but no one else. Now Mal and Lore follow me and I'll explain once we're in here. But if anyone else comes in..." I pause and look at the people that have spilled into the hall so they know I'm serious. "I'll kill them. Now come on." I turn and kneel by Mickey, pulling a necklace from around his neck. It has a key on it. Standing I use the key to open the door. The familiar smell hits me and I feel Mal and Lore stiffen, thinking and connecting some of the dots. Clenching the glass that's hanging around my neck I step into the room where I killed Lucius, then I turn to wait for Lore and Mal. When they shut the door behind them I allow my shoulders to slump as I try to find the words. My voice is barely a whisper when I finally speak.
"I'm not the only one he kept down there. Before I showed up there were eight people down there. But one of them, Duke, his mate died right before I came here." I raise my eyes to meet Lore's as I force the words from my mouth. "He wanted me to replace her as his forced sex partner." Both of them stiffen and walk over to me. They don't touch me but they stand close enough so that I know they're there for me. Lore's voice is soft as he speaks.
"Tell us." A tear breaks free and I wipe it away as I speak.
FLASHBACK LEA
I stood inside the entryway unsure of whether or not I should come in any further. Lore, the Alpha's beta, had assured me that Lucius could help me with my shifting problem. It is unheard of for a full blooded were bear to not shift on their sixteenth birthday and I have been eighteen for two months. So my oldest brother Mal had insisted I go to the Alpha Luscious. I had never met him because he was a busy Alpha and I didn't live in the clan house because of our large family but Mal is his enforcer and went there often.
"Miss Awitt?" I jerk out of my thoughts to see the mouth watering Lore standing in front of me. His upper body is muscular and lean. His legs are long and he's barefoot. I'm not sure why he's so hot. When my eyes meet his gun-metal gray eyes I blush. I'd been oggling him. Gulping I nod as he smiles at me.
"Yes it's me...L..." I pause and tilt my head to the side, inhaling his scent. Lore smells like warm chocolate chip cookies but this man....smells...I quiver at the sudden urge to run as I clench my hands at my sides. I can do this I have six older brothers for crying out loud. He may look like Lore but he isn't. Forcing bravado I force myself to stay in place even though I want to run.
"You're not Lore. You look like him but your not." He smiles and though he looks like Lore his smile makes me want to scream in terror.
"Yes, he's my twin. I'm Alpha Luscious. I'm afraid most of the clan is out due to a territory dispute so I'm afraid I'll have to show you to your new room." He steps forward as he speaks til he's inches from me. I blanch and force myself not to back away. I meet his eyes as I square my shoulders.
"If your trying to intimidate me it won't work. I have six older brothers just as big as you and I can take care of myself." He laughs as he grasps my arm and pulls me to his side.
"Come I'll show you to your room. Your are definitely what I'm looking for." I try to protest but his grip is too strong. He pulls me downstairs and into a long hallway. He stops in front of the door and raises a brow at the guard by the door. The guard looks at me then at Lucius, his face impartial, as he pulls a key from around his neck and unlocks the door. I start to struggle as soon as the door is shut. This isn't a guest room. It's his smells that permeates the room. He ignores my struggles as he walks across the room and types into a keypad on the back wall. It beeps and a door slides open even though I couldn't see it there. I draw back my fist and punch him in the jaw as he drags me through the door. He pauses surprised as he uses his free hand to wipe blood from his mouth. He grins as he speaks.
"Yes you will definitely do. As soon as you realize your place of course." With that said he grabs me by the hair and forces me to turn so I can the flight of stairs in front of me. Yanking at my hair he forces me to stumble down the steps. He turns left from the main room and pauses at the entry to the hallway, contemplating the six doors in front of him. Then the opens the first door to the left. Immediately a small wolf leaps at him but he catches it by it's throat and throws it back into the room. Then he looks back to me.
"Don't worry dear I'll let you meet everyone to tomorrow. Oh, and I'll just tell your family you never made it here. You'll be mine a long time. Enjoy." With that he shoves me into the room and slams the door shut. My knees slam painfully into the concrete floor and I stay there a minute, regrouping. Then I remember the small wolf and I look around the room. I can't see much so I stand and stumble back over to the door. I try the knob first but it's locked. I sigh and fumble til I find a light switch and turn it on. I look around the bare room with only a twin size bed against the wall. There is one small cover on the bed and there is a closet in the corner but that's it. I see the small wolf crouched in the corner with blood dripping down his face. I walk over and kneel in front of him. He starts to growl as I whisper soothingly to him. He stops growling and looks at me a moment before shifting into a small boy about seven. His hair is black and he's extremely pale. His eyes are light brown as he stares at me.
"Hi I'm Lea." He eyes me up and down like he's assessing whether I'm a threat or not.
"Caine, why are you here?" I shrug and look back to the door.
"I don't know Lucius said I was just what he needed and threw me in here." Caine pales.
"He wants you to replace Willa." I frown.
"Who's Willa?" Tears slide down Caine's cheeks.
"She was Duke's mate until Lucius finally killed her."
"What? Who's Duke? How many people are down here?" Caine whimpers at the anger in my voice and I immediately soften it as I lean forward.
"I'm sorry I frightened you Caine can I hold you? It'll make me feel better." He stops whimpering and looks at me.
"You want to hold me? Not hurt me or...?" I frown at the implication that someone has done something to him other than care for him. I want to ask what else had been done to him but I don't. "Okay." Smiling I reach out and hug him to me, rocking him back and forth. He stiffens at first then gradually relaxes. When he speaks his voice is hesitant. "You really don't want to hurt me?" I shake my head no as tears slide down my cheeks and I take in his bare chest and bare feet. He looks over to the closet and whistles softly. A boy stumbles out, looking just like Caine except for the bruises all over his chest and the black eye. I sob now as I open my arms and he hesitantly walks over. When I embrace him he hesitates a moment before snuggling in. I stay crouched on the floor rocking them until finally I fall asleep too.
I wake up someone yanking me to my feet by my hair. Screaming I lash out with my fist and connect as I open my eyes. Lucius eyes stare into mine as I growl at him. He slaps me across the face but I continue to growl.
"You bastard. What did you do to them?" He glances past me to Caine and Abel, who are crouched down on the floor, and smiles.
"Lots of things my dear but not nearly as much as I'm going to do to you. Now come meet the others so the fun can begin." He slams the door shut and drags me into the open room at the bottom of the stairs. He takes me over to the small couch and forces me to sit in his lap. I bite his hand and he punches me in the jaw. But it doesn't stop me from fighting him. I wasn't going to give up like some pup. I am a bear. I feel my bear longing to tear him to shreds but I can't shift yet. Then he throws me onto the couch and walks over to the back wall and I freeze as he pulls a knife out. I'd been so busy fighting him that I hadn't seen the other people chained to the back wall. He stops in front of a young girl about thirteen with wide yellow and purple eyes. He slides the knife over her arm and blood wells from the cut.
"Glenna this is Lea, our new guest. Every time you see her you will hit her or I'll hit you. She needs to be shown how to listen." Glenna shakes her head 'no' so Lucius cuts her again. Unable to bare it I speak.
"She'll do it you dick just stop." He walks over to me and yanking my head back he roghly kisses me and I bite his lip. His eyes flash as he pulls back.
"You will be fun. We'll have fun. I'll be back soon. He walks back upstairs through the invisible door and it slides shut. A few minutes later the chains holding the people up click open and they stumble from the wall. Glenna immediately walks over and stops in front of me. I look into her sad eyes.
"There's cameras in the room?" She just looks at me as an older woman walks over and places a hand on her shoulder. They look so much alike that I know their related.
"Yes and I'm Kee." She waits and I look to Glenna.
"Do it Glenna. She whimpers and I smile tightly.
"DO IT!" She flinches at the scream then punches me in the jaw. Immediately she starts to cry and hugs the older woman.
"I'm Kee." My eyes widen.
"Your from this clan? But you've been dead a year." She shrugs and points to the shaggy haired boy sitting beside me on the couch. He has a small- built girl in his arms. She's shaking and trembling as he tries to soothe her.
"That's Deke and Cara, his sister. Glenna is my niece as you know and that's Duke in the corner. He isn't able to control himself very well since his mate was...killed. So he tries to stay back." I realize as I look at the people down here with me that there is only one way we're going to get out of this. I think of Caine and Abel and my eyes harden as I look to Kee. She's sees the look in my eyes and nods slightly, agreeing. One way or another Lucius is going to die.
FLASHBACK ENDS LEA POV
I stand between Lore and Mal shaking. The hum in the air calls me to my mate and I can't take it anymore. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him as I speak.
"I can't talk about it anymore I have to get them out." Mal speaks, his voice laced with anger.
"We're coming with you." I shake my head and bury it in Lore's chest as I speak.
"You can't help with Glenna, Kee or Duke. They won't trust you near them but the others should be okay once I talk to them." I pull away from Lore and look up at him. His face softens as he brushes a hair from my face. I'm amazed by the fact that I don't flinch away.
"How about I go down and help you while Mal guards the room?" I nod and turning type in Lucius password. It's not like he had thought to hide it before pulling me down here. The door slides open and Lore and I step inside.
.................
The darkness is like a living thing except you can't hide from it. You can run. You can avoid it but you can't escape it completely and it always comes back. No matter how many swings you take you'll never hit it and feel that rush of satisfaction that tells you that you fought back. At least you fought back. Because in the end you either embrace the darkness or you let it consume you. I bow my head and take a deep breath, my shoulders shaking from the tension as I try to force my feet to move forward. Lore doesn't say anything as he follows behind me.