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::Christi's POV::
"Dig in Jake, don't wait for it to get cold silly."
Jacob was sitting at the table eyeing a huge bowl of chicken noodle soup patiently.
"Sucks to eat alone Chris, you know that." He said softly.
"I'm almost done Jake." I was just finishing up with the rest of our lunch.
Since we had missed breakfast, I decided to make it up to Jake by making two large steaks and some baked potatoes to go along with the soup I had made earlier. I bent down and placed the steaks under the broiler. I looked over at Jake who was still patiently waiting for me to sit down. I smiled and sat down next to him.
"Ok I'm here, now eat." I lifted my spoon.
"Aren't you going to say grace?" He studied me through narrowed eyes.
"Uh – right." I bowed my head silently. "Ok done."
"That's it?" He looked confused.
"Well, yeah, I said my silent grace." I looked at him and he was still looking at me strangely and fidgeting. "What?"
"Well – I thought maybe we could say it together, or that you could say it out loud. I don't really know what to say, so…" He scrubbed his hand through his hair.
"You want to learn how to say grace before eating?" I hoped he wasn't pulling my leg.
"We never prayed much in my family, so yeah. It's what you do – and well, if you don't mind showing me, I want to do what you do." He said with a shy smile.
Could he get any more adorable? That had to be the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. My face lit up with a smile.
"Bow your head and close your eyes." I instructed.
He bowed his head and closed his eyes.
"Like this?" He peeked over in my direction with one eye slightly open.
"Yes." I couldn't help giggling he was just too damn cute. "Give me your hands."
He slid his hands onto the table and took mine gently.
I bowed my head and closed my eyes. "Thank you Lord for these gifts which we are about to receive. Protect us through-out our days, as our family. Amen."
"Uh – Amen." He squeezed my hands gently and then released them.
I don't know why, but I felt proud of him. I mean I wasn't the world's most religious woman, but I was thankful for my blessing in life and now I was proud to be able to share those blessing with the man that I love.
Jake showed his appreciation for my food with every bite he took, moaning with approval.
"So good." He slurped up more soup.
I couldn't help the huge silly grin plastered all over my face throughout the entire meal.
"Everything is good when you're as hungry as we are." I giggled.
"Don't sell yourself short baby, you're a genius in the kitchen." He winked and shoved another spoonful in his mouth.
"Well then it's a good thing we met huh? Otherwise you'd probably starve to death." I made a face of mock horror. "And we wouldn't want that now, would we?"
"Hardy har har Chris. You're a comedian today." He rolled his eyes.
"Just teasing. I appreciate you loving my cooking Jake, it makes me feel wanted."
"Even if you burnt everything I would still think it was the best and would always appreciate it honey." He took my hand in his.
"I believe you." I smiled. "Thanks." I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
"Do you have to work today honey?" His smile melted away into concern.
"I thought it would be best if I stay home today." I didn't want to risk a repeat performance of last night.
My eyes dropped to my plate, I absentmindedly pushed some noodles around in my bowl. We sat in silence for a while. Jacob shifted in his chair and made a small grunting sound followed by a deep sigh.
"Are you scared Christi?" Jacob broke the silence.
I shrugged. Shrugging was good, it didn't involve lengthy explanations.
"Hey." Jake shook my shoulder lightly. "It's ok if you are. I'd be worried if you weren't."
"Yeah, well maybe a little." I said quietly. He only knew half of it, I still wasn't sure if I should say anything. Obviously Sam hasn't said a word, maybe it was better left alone.
Truth is I'm petrified, but I gotta keep my head up high and stay strong. My sanity is hanging on a thin thread and if I loose it now, it won't be pretty. I shivered.
"Just means I can do my job and protect you." Jacob flashed me a brilliant smile, winked and shoved a spoonful of soup in his mouth. "Donwoowy." He said through a full mouth.
Don't worry, easy for him to say. How did this come so easy to him? How could he be so nonchalant about it all? Guess that comes with practice and experience.
"How…" How exactly to word this now – um… When in doubt, just blurt it out. "How many have you killed?" The direct way is always the best way I say.
"Leeches?" He snorted.
"Yeah." Vampires, leeches same difference, just answer the question. I do want an answer, right?
"Not enough evidently." He tossed his spoon back in his bowl with a loud clink. His eyebrows furrowed in a scowl.
"Is the steak ready?" His eyes suddenly lit up and a sinister smile played on his lips. "Get it, steak?" He lifted his fork and pretended to stab himself in the chest. "Hollywood." He snorted again. "If only it were that simple. Good old stake in the heart trick. Yeah right." He rolled his eyes dramatically.
The fork was tossed back down on the table loudly.
"Yeah, I guess the screen writers never thought up granite skin and razor sharp wolf teeth." I deadpanned.
I got up to check on the steaks.
Jacob's face lit up. "They would have – if they were as smart as you."
It really bothered me that he wasn't taking any of this seriously. It's like he was getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of it all. I picked up the pan of steaks and tossed it on the counter loudly.
"Do you get some kind of a sick perverted enjoyment from this all?" I turned to look at him annoyed.
"What?" He looked lost.
"How could you be so nonchalant about this all?" I took my oven mitts off and threw them on the counter.
"Hunting vampires is fun Christi." He rolled his eyes at me.
"Ugh!" I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. "Never mind Jacob. Evidently I am not part of the elite club that seems to think that risking your life is not a dangerous thing. Evidently I missed the fucking memo that alerted me to how much fun that all could be. Forget bungee jumping and cliff diving, lets go fucking hunt vampires and pretend we're Van fucking Helsing!"
Jacob sat straight up in his chair. His mouth dropped open as he stared at me through wide eyes.
"And – and – and what about me?" I smacked my hand against my chest and took a step towards him. "Do you even give a damn about what the hell is going to happen to me if something happens to you? Am I supposed to move on with my life as if …" I choked on my words, "as if you never existed?"
There it was. All of my penned up frustration, fear and anxiety snapped right then and there, I couldn't lose Jacob, or myself. I didn't know what I was, I wasn't ready to believe it myself. I wanted it to never happen, what as I? Everything was out there now, well half of all. It was inevitable, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, no matter how much I tried to keep my composure. And now, I couldn't take it back, what was said was said.
Jacob's long arm reached out, he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap, cradling me against his chest.
"Shhh… S'ok honey." He whispered soothingly against my hair.
I was a trembling mess, I can't believe I just lost it in front of him like that. There were no words to describe how utterly and irrevocably embarrassed I was. Jacob's lips brushed against my hairline over and over again. He rocked me back and forth lightly.
"Shhh…" I felt his breath against my hair.
"Figures, I would choose now of all times to have a stupid meltdown." I said shakily. "I'm sorry." I buried my face in his chest.
"Its ok angel." He squeezed me a little tighter. "You needed to let it out." His tone was even and collected, unlike mine.I felt a stab of guilt, I hadn't told him everything. "I haven't told you much about us, so it's natural that you would be scared of the outcome of things. You have no idea how well prepared we actually are to deal with this kind of situation. Shhh… don't worry honey."
There it was again, the don't worry that made me worry even more, if that were even possible. I felt the sanity thread slowly start to unravel again. Jacob's shushing and his loving touch is what kept me grounded, if it weren't for him holding me, I would have completely snapped and probably ended up in an insane asylum.
"How well prepared are you?" I mumbled against his chest.
"The pack is a well oiled battle machine Chris. This is why we exist, this is the reason for our being alive."
"Are you – are you scared?" I asked timidly.
Jacob snorted. "Yeah right." He said confidently. But then his confidence seemed to crumble just the smallest bit and his arms pulled me closer to him. "I was made to protect you Christi."
The conviction in his tone was reassuring even when the reality of the situation was not. I shivered involuntarily.
"Are you cold?" Jacob asked concerned.
"No, just anxious, I don't know how well I'm going to deal with things." I said honestly.
"It will be over soon, hopefully. I'll resume patrols as soon as Sam gives me the ok. I feel much better today so I know it won't be long."
That's exactly what I'm afraid of. Jacob's stomach gave a growl, we both looked down.
"Time for the second course?" I asked, trying to lighten the tension.
"Yeah, those steaks smell insanely good." He licked his lips and wiggled his brows.
He leaned in and gave me a long soft kiss and then released me. We finished our meal and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie. I really wasn't paying much attention, my brain kept processing all the information that had been given to me in the last day.
"I wouldn't have done that. Is he stupid?" Jacob complained.
"Huh?" I was snapped out of my mental trance.
"That guy just totally missed the bad guy and let him go loose. He should have gone the other way." He pointed at the screen.
"Uh – you do realize it's only a movie right Jake?" I teased.
"Sure, sure." He groaned. "Stupid screen writers."
As soon as the credits started to roll Jacob picked up the remote and turned off the TV and DVD player. We snuggled on the couch silently.
"Did you even watch any of that?" Jacob asked with a sigh.
"Not really. Sorry." I admitted.
"What's on your mind Chris?"
"Everything."
"Can I set your mind at ease some how?" He ran his fingers through my hair soothingly.
"Tell me about the pack."
Jacob's body shifted.
"What do you want to know?" He asked frankly.
"Well, you said I didn't know much about the pack, so tell me what I don't know." I turned my face towards his. "Fill me in on the details that we haven't discussed."
"Are you sure?" His mouth turned up at the corner and his eyes narrowed.
"Absolutely." I assured him.
"Well, you know the legends. And you know how we can fight bloodsuckers." He raised a brow in thought.
I watched him silently and waited for him to speak again.
"You know that we heal fast." He sighed. "But there's more."
His face twisted and looked tortured. I didn't know what to expect next.
"I'm not aging Chris."
What ever I might have thought he would say next, that was most definitely not it. What did he mean he wasn't aging? How could that be? Was he – immortal?
"Wait – what?" I had to make sure I heard him correctly.
"I haven't aged since I was seventeen." His face dropped.
"But how can that be?" That just sounded impossible to me.
He shrugged. "We don't know. It happens to all of us, the werewolf gene kicks in and suddenly poof, we stay frozen in time. Well, not exactly just like that, but close enough."
"For ever?" My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head.
"As long as the wolf is awake within us we will continue to listen to it and continue to phase. As soon as the wolf grows dormant we start to age again. They say it happens when we find peace in our lives and can slow down." He looked at me and made sure I was following him. I was, but I was still confused. "A lot of it has to do with what is around us you see. Like right now, with that fucking leech out there. Our senses are at full alert. We are around and alive, as long as we have the need to protect those around us, our families and our tribe."
But if that was the case, if they suddenly became frozen in time and Jake admitted to it happening when he was seventeen, why didn't he look seventeen?
"But you don't look seventeen Jake." I finalized my thought out loud.
"I phased the first time when I was seventeen, but my body changed rapidly. That whole year I grew and aged. You see, my life age was seventeen but I physically looked like I was in my late twenties by the time I first phased."
My head was spinning with this new found information. How was that even possible? Jacob told me he was twenty-seven, was that true? Was he younger or older than that?
"How old are you really Jake?" I blurt out before I could stop myself.
Jacob looked at me and then looked up at the ceiling. His face was full of regret.
"I'm not younger than twenty-seven, if that's what you're worried about." He said quietly.
"I'm not worried. I just want to know."
His age really wasn't going to change anything, but I really wanted to know the truth now. Jacob took a deep breath in and closed his eyes.
"Thirty-eight." He exhaled through his nose.
Really? Thirty-eight? That was so bizarre, he didn't look that old at all. He was just so, beautiful and well preserved for his age, not a wrinkle in sight.
"Is that a problem?" His brow was tightly knit together.
"No…" I elongated the word. "It's just that…" I didn't really know how to put it.
"Is it weird, now that you know?" He looked down on me with saddened eyes.
"A little, but it doesn't change anything. I mean you're still only thirteen years older than me, right? It's not like that's too far out there." I smiled warmly. "And besides, you wear your age well." I leaned up and kissed his chin. "No worries."
Jacob's frown turned upside-down quickly and a brilliant smile illuminated his beautiful face.
"Silly Jacob." I shook my head. "How could you even think that would bug me?"
"I don't know?" He shrugged. "It's weird. I'd be weirded out if you were telling me this shit." He chuckled.
"Well, I'm not. I have a sexy thirty-eight year old boyfriend that adores me. What's weird about that?
I looked up at him with love filled eyes. But then it hit me. Reality sunk in hard. If Jacob wasn't aging and I was, what did that mean for our future together? I didn't know what I was, maybe I was all human by now, maybe the blood in me isn't wolf anymore, it's just human.
"What's wrong?" Jacob's face suddenly became concerned. He shook me gently in his arms. "Honey?"
How was I going to explain this to him?
"Nothing Jake, it's really nothing." I lied.
"Na-uh Christi. That's not a nothing's wrong expression. Dish."
"I just had a stupid thought. No big deal, let it go Jake." I really didn't want to make this any more awkward.
"Nope, sorry not happening."
"It's stupid, really Jake." I tried to weasel my way out of it again, in hopes that he would drop the subject and move on. "So what else is there?"
"If you're trying to divert me into dropping the subject, it isn't happening. I want you to tell me what's bothering you."
I shivered from the intensity in his words. I found myself unable to resist giving him the answer he wanted.
"The age thing doesn't bug me ok? But…" I bit in my bottom lip nervously.
"But?" Jacob's eyes narrowed.
"But you're not aging and…" Oh God I was about to sound like a total and complete shit for saying what I was thinking.
"And?" He prodded.
"I am. There I said it."
"Well… You still have time to catch up to me you know." He smiled warmly.
"Yeah, but you will still look like you're in your late twenties and I'll start to get wrinkles and go gray." I let out a frustrated breath. "And let's just say for the sake of argument that we do end up staying together for a long time." I watched his eyes narrow again. "People are going to think I'm some kind of perverted cougar Jake. I mean I'm going to get old and one day d…"
He put his hand over my mouth. "Don't." He said sternly. "I don't want you talking about that."
"But it's true." I mumbled under his hand.
"No." He said again through tightened lips. "We're not talking about this anymore."
His hand dropped onto the couch. I opened my mouth to say something, but then decided to close it. Jacob looked upset, I felt his body trembling slightly.
"What's wrong? Why are you upset Jake?"
"Fate fucking sucks, that's what's wrong," he said annoyed, "I can't dream of a world where you don't exist Christi." He took my face in his hands firmly. "Why do you think I want to protect you so badly? I would literally die if anything ever happened to you." His beautiful dark eyes misted over. "Never – ever, talk about dying."
His body started to tremble harder. I put my hand on his chest and tried to calm him down, I couldn't risk him getting too upset. Jacob's eyes were darker than usual and he looked like a wild man ready to snap. I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. I know Jacob would never hurt me, but I knew if he got too upset he'd phase. I had to swallow back my fear and try to calm him down.
"Easy Jake." I stroked his chest lightly. "I'm not going to talk about that anymore, I promise. You need to calm down honey."
My heart was pounding in my ears. I leaned closer and pressed a kiss to his chest. The intensity in his eyes seemed to melt away.
"Right. Calm." He was panting, his eyes closed in concentration as he tried to steady his body.
I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down, no point in both of us getting worked up.
"I'm sorry I scared you." His expression was much softer.
"You didn't." I lied.
"Then why is your heart beating like a loud drum?" His eyes narrowed.
"What?" How could he possible know that?
"I can hear it." He placed his hand on my chest. "See?"
"Well, I…" He heard my heart? "You can hear my heart?"
"Extra super wolf senses." He smiled proudly. "I've got canine hearing baby." He chuckled.
"Alright then…" I didn't quite know how to react to that one. "Any other special powers you posses?" Yeah, that came out a little more sarcastic than I intended.
"Nope, no super powers, just some extra enhanced abilities. You already know that I'm strong." He flexed his arm and looked at his large bicep muscle proudly. "Just the canine abilities."
"The canine abilities? Like heightened sense of hearing?" I asked intrigued.
"The hearing and our sight and smell." He tapped my nose playfully with his finger. "Oh and the speed is fucking awesome!" His eyes lit up.
"The speed." I echoed.
"Yeah, when we're phased we can run really fast. And – well this one's a little weird." He looked at me contemplating something silently. "Can I freak you out?" He smiled sinisterly.
Freak me out? Are you kidding me? I'm suddenly aware of how good I really am with the strange and unusual. What could there possibly be that would freak me out now?
"Hmm… I suppose." I said skeptically.
"Well you wanted to know about the pack right?" He paused and waited until I nodded before he continued. "Yeah well, when we're phased – we can sort of hear each other."
"I don't get it." I admitted honestly.
"Our thoughts. I can hear what the pack is thinking and they can hear what I'm thinking. It's really cool, but kind of annoying too."
Ok, that was different.
"How is it annoying?" I asked.
"Because it's hard to shield your thoughts from the pack sometimes. We hear – everything. Even the stuff you don't want to share. Like the personal details of your life."
He paused to make sure I was following him. I had to admit I was a little lost.
"I'm lost." I admitted to him.
"Well, like Paul – he's always fucking thinking of Blondie and we really don't want to see the details of their sex life." He cringed. "But it's like a loud picture that you can't block out of your mind no matter how hard you try."
"So there's no privacy." I said.
"Not much." He admitted.
His words sunk in then. If the pack could see the details of Paul and Sarah's – I gasped – no way! There is no way they would be able to see Jake and me. I felt my face turn hot.
"Yeah." Jake said with chagrin. "I know how you feel."
"Oh no Jake." I was so embarrassed. "Can't you like – not think of me when you're phased?"
"S'not like I do it on purpose you know." His mouth twisted up at the corner. "I try to keep my thoughts guarded Chris, honest I do."
"I believe you, it's just embarrassing." It was my turn for chagrin.
"I know honey I'm sorry. But don't worry it's not like that with the pack, everyone is really understanding and discreet about the information and personal details we pick out of each other's brains. It's not like we go around to each other's girlfriends and say "Hey baby, you're so hot when you're naked." He chuckled. "Ok, that was gross."
"Yeah, you freak." I smacked him playfully but couldn't resist chuckling along with him.
"So, have you had your fill of the strange and bizarre world of werewolves yet?" He sniggered.
"Yeah, well, normal would be nice, but it's who you are Jake. I want to know who you really are underneath that beautiful smile and those sexy rock hard abs." I teased wiggling my eyebrows.
"I can do normal too you know." He took my face between his hands gently and licked his lips. "Normal is nice."
He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine, teasing me, never fully making contact with his lips.
"Mmm…I like normal." I whispered against his lips.
My breath hitched in the back of my throat as he nibbled on my bottom lip.
"No more meltdowns today." He mumbled against my mouth.
"Mmm… deal." I agreed. We'd had enough drama for one day.
His tongue slid out and parted my lips, he pulled my body closer to his deepening our kiss. A loud howl outside broke our intimate moment. Jacob's body instantly became ridged. He pulled away from me and looked around frantically. The phone rang, before the first ring was over Jacob already had the phone in his hand.
"What's going on Sam?" He demanded. Jacob's posture changed, he sat up straight and listened intently into the phone. "Damn it no!" There was a long pause and finally he said, "Fine!" He slammed the phone back down. "Damn it!" He spat out.
I didn't know if I should say anything, or just stay quiet and let him have a moment.
"Fuck." Jacob mumbled.
"What's going on Jake?" Curiosity was eating at me.
"Sam." He looked over at the phone. "He said they caught a fresh trail leading towards town." His eyes narrowed and his lips tightened. "He wants me to stay put. I can't phase yet."
I didn't want to sound stupid or anything but I didn't understand completely.
"A fresh trail?" I asked naively.
"The fucking leeches leave trails all over the place. We can smell them." Jacob clarified.
"Oh." That makes sense now, now that I know about heightened wolf senses.
"I just want to be out there. I'm no good to you if I can't protect you from danger." He looked away from me.
"Jake it's ok, they are out there and you are here. You are here with me Jake." I placed my hands on his face and pulled him to look at me. "I feel safe when you are with me Jacob." Believe me Jake, I would be petrified if you left me alone right now. I couldn't stand the thought of it. "No more meltdowns – remember?" I forced a smile on my face.
"I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. "I did promise no more meltdowns, didn't I?"
"Yup." I snuggled into his chest contentedly.
Meltdowns would have to wait for another day. Today I was done and over with them. All I wanted was to be right here, right now in his arms where I was safe and protected and he wasn't out risking his life for me.
"Can't we just stay like this for ever?" I asked wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggling a little closer to his chest. "This is nice."
"Mmm… yeah it is." His voice was deep.
"Let's just shut out the world and be normal. Just Christi and Jake."
Jacob sighed heavily and held me a little tighter. There was comfort there, but there was no ignoring the fact that he was on the edge. I felt it deep in my heart, the wolf inside of Jacob was restless and no matter how normal he was acting, he couldn't hide it from me. And I couldn't hide from what I was either, I need to accept this..
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I know it isn't all that much this chapter..but you guys deserved a chapter. I hope you liked it!
Please comment on your thought's or what you want just comment lol
love you- Zoey