I kept my gaze on the five sleeping girls on the floor. My head is telling me that it's not a good idea to trust them, but my heart says other wise. Is this how they used to make me feel? God, it is a very confusing feeling. I place the note back down on the counter and walk back up the stairs with one last look at the five girls. I pass my bedroom, looking through the doorway to see Cara cuddled up to my pillow and her hair still sprawled out across her face. I continue walking down the hall, and I walk up another flight of stairs.
As I reach the top of the third floor there are more rooms that I have yet to look at, but my body just starts directing me to the room at the end of the hallway and when I get inside... It's a music studio. I look around at the different instruments on the floor as well as the awards the walls. I walk up to the recording booth sitting down in one of the chairs in front of the large panel with endless buttons. All of this, this is familiar. I can't quite put a pin on it, but I know that feeling of familiarity. I look along the panel and see a notebook at the end.
I scoot the chair over to where it is and pick it up, I run my fingers along the worn out leather. I examine the outside of awhile before flipping the cover open. There was writing on the inside cover.
'To our lovely, Y/N. We thought you would like somewhere to write your songs and the world deserves to hear them. Here's to one day, here's to us, and here's to our love. xoxoxoxo
- Dinah, Ally, Normani, Lauren, and Camila'
I trace the slightly faded writing before I continue to look through the pages. One particular song stuck out to me and it looked like a I left a little note on the top of the song.
'I never stopped loving them, but every time I think of them... I'm in love again.'
I read over the title and the song a few times before, before messing around with a few instruments and making a few beats, also pressing a few buttons on the panel before stepping inside of me booth. Taking the notebook with me. I rest the open notebook on the stand in front of me as I slide the headphones over my ears. I let out a soft breath before standing before the microphone when the music drowns my hearing.
Here goes nothing.
Time's been ticking, hearts are runnin'
Think that Cupid's up to somethin'
You asked me how I feel, I say nothin'
But lately color seems so bright
And the stars light up the night
My feet they feel so light
I'm ignoring all the signs
I keep on frontin', yeah, I stay bluffin'
I keep you wonderin'
Keep you huntin' for my lovin'
But I crave us huggin'
Yeah, I stay stubborn
Cause I can't admit that you got all the strings
And know just how to tug 'em
I think I'm in love again
(My head, yeah, you're in my head)
I think I'm in love again
(My head, yeah, you're in my head)
I didn't think it could be true
Let alone that it would be you
I think I'm in love again
(I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love)
My hearts' pacin', I'm confused, I'm dazin'
I saw something I never seen in you, it's got me shakin'
I must be hallucinatin'
I hear it happens, I'm just sayin'
Babe I'm just sayin'
Someone give me some paper
Someone give me some crayons
I'm feeling like a child, I need something to play on
I'm trying hard to trust you when you say, "Give me your hand."
Baby, I'm fallin', I hope you catch me when I land
I think I'm in love again
(My head, yeah, you're in my head)
I think I'm in love again
(My head, yeah, you're in my head)
I didn't think it could be true
Let alone that it would be you
I think I'm in love again
(I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love)
In my dreams you're the dutch and I'm the dutchess
And your blunts are always loose so I'm in charge of rollin' dutches
And we getting so high, we always get the munchies
And we go for early brunches that turn into late lunches
And we ain't gotta label, we're just rollin' with the punches
I make fun of your belly and tell you do some crunches
And you say, "Yeah, well, your ass jiggles, go and do some lunges."
I say, "Fuck you," while I'm thinking of you as my husband
I think I'm in love
I think I'm in love again
(My head, yeah, you're in my head)
I think I'm in love again
(My head, yeah, you're in my head)
I didn't think it could be true
Let alone that it would be you
I think I'm in love again
(I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love)
I think I'm in love again...
I hear the music fade out and my eyes stay closed. And everything hits me at once, the tears begin to brim my eyes. All the insane, happy, sad, anxiety, proud, shocking, surprised, loving filled memories just rush back into my head. The headphones begin to slide off of my head as I crouch down onto the floor, my shallow breaths fill the small sound proof booth and I just sit there and cry. I cry out of joy that I remember, but I cry for sadness that all these unwanted memories are back.
My foot hits the stand and the notebook falls off of it, plopping down onto the floor next to me. I hiccup as I reach for the notebook, wiping my drenched face with my sleeve. It's no use the tears just keep falling. I flip through all the songs I've written.
I'm Not The Only One.
I remember writing this, the memory is so fresh in my mind...
----
"Y/N, we're leaving!!!" I hear Lauren yell from downstairs, I quickly make my way down the stairs seeing all the girls dressed too revealing for some type of meeting. I look over their outfits as I stop my fast pace down the stairs and stay in the middle. Their backs towards me as I listen in on their conversation. I crouch down on the staircase.
"I want to just leave already! Can't we just leave this one time without saying goodbye to, Y/N." Camila says, her tone impatient. I bite down on my lower lip, rubbing my temple.
"If we just leave, she'll know we're up to something." Dinah mentions as Normani nods in agreement.
"We don't want that, I mean... We have our needs too." Ally says, motioning to all of them. "She can't provide it for us." I look down at my hands and quietly walk back up the stairs, wiping a few stray tears and composing myself. Walking down the stairs once again, making myself known this time.
They all turn to me a they hush down. I offer them a small smile, trying not to look so sad. They smile just as brightly back.
"We'll be back pretty late, baby. So don't wait up for us." Normani says in a bit cheery for my liking. I nod, but as the go in for their usual kisses. I turn my head so they only kiss my cheek. They give me some sort of look, but they shake it off as they head out. Leaving me alone in this house, again.
I don't hesitate to let the tears fall this time. I scream out in the empty house as it echoes and rings throughout the hallways and rooms. As I listen to my broken voice ring out through the house, I walk back up the stairs to my room and slamming the door shut. I grab the oh so familiar notebook and begin writing my feelings down into a song.
----
My heart clenches at the thought, my breathing becoming a bit heavier and my cries a bit louder. My head resting against the open notebook as I let the memory subside, continuing to look through the endless pages of songs. I stop flipping pages when a picture falls from one of them, I pick it up from my lap and look over it. It's a picture of me and the girls of course, we looked younger here. This is at the beginning of our relationship, the is photo was taken before they left for their very first mall tour and I was staying back home.
We were all laughing, they were piled on top of me as I look like I'm struggling to push them off of me. I look up at my notebook once again, glancing at the song title.
Photograph.
----
When I finally push the girls off of me, I pant for the much needed air.
"Oh my gosh, you guys could've killed me!" I say while chuckling softly, looking at the five other girls who are giggling and smiling.
"Whatever, babe. You're just weak." Dinah says as she plops down right beside me, cuddling into my right side and Ally on my left. The three other girls beside us and we laid in complete silence for a little while.
"We're gonna miss you." I hear Camila mumble as she raises her head to look at me, I can see the tears threatening to fall out of her eyes. I smile understandingly as I motion her to come here, without a second thought she jumps on top of me and clings onto my body as I hold her.
"It'll pass by quick," I reassure her. "Plus, you guys are going to have a bunch of fun! You guys will make so much memories, and the time will just fly." Now they all were sitting up and clinging onto me like their lives depended on it.
"We want you there with us," Ally says against my shoulder. "But just... Wait for us to come home.."
"I'll be here waiting for you guys.." I say softly. After the sappy moment we were all laying down once again and eventually fell asleep.
Soon the morning came, and they were loading their suitcases onto the tour bus. I was outside watching. They looked back at me before crushing me in a group hug. Once they pull away, I pulled out something from my back pocket. Handing it to Normani.
"It's a picture of all of us," I say. "For you guys to remember the memories we have while you guys make new ones." They once again look back at me with teary eyes.
"We're gonna miss you.." They said together. I open my mouth to say something but I was cut off by their manager.
"We need to go now, ladies!!" They nod, and look at me one last time before the head into the tour bus.
"I'm gonna miss you too..." I mumble as I wave at the tour bus, watching it disappear out of sight.
----
I sigh, sliding the photo back into the notebook and closing it. Standing up with it in hand and walking out of the booth.
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GUYS, here you have an update! I hope you guys enjoyed it, and you finally got your memory back :))) feedback and comments are really much enjoyed! I think this is the most I've ever typed, but there are a few errors. I'll see you guys soon and I love you all !!! xoxoxoxo. Oh and also. This story almost has 100K reads! Oh my gosh you guys are the best, I literally didn't think that many people would enjoy the story. Again thank you. Lots of love.