Sha'riah
I woke up the next morning at like 6:57. I wasn’t even bothered to get up. I didn’t feel the need to…not after yesterday’s events. Mami said I still had to go school, saying it’s an “important academic year” for me. Some bullshit like that. I’m having a tough time and she wants to send me to school like say I wanna learn at a time like this! I stayed in bed for a couple minutes just thinking about life and how fucked up it was, then realised it was getting’ kinda late. I got out of and slowly walked to the shower then done my business. Even in the shower I felt dead inside. The droplets of water dropping on my warm skin didn’t even wake me up, all I could think about was Shawn and how much I missed him already. Imagine how bad I am now, how will I survive in maybe a week or two?
I finished my dead shower then got out my school uniform. This shit green uniform, I hated it, and everything else right now. I put on my underwear then sprayed myself and slid on my patterned tights with my shirt and tie. I put on my pleated shirt and wore my jumper and lazily finished off with my blazer.
I was too busy mourning to even care about my appearance right now. I grabbed a comb and ran it through my hair thoroughly.
Urgh, I hated this hair though, it was so thick and curly. The only thing I liked was the fact that it was long, most times I’d straighten it, but today I honestly couldn’t give two shits. I’d go school looking like shit if I had to… I should anyway. I left my hair as a simple ponytail and just thought fuck the world really.
I got my Just Do It school bag and sorted out the books for what lessons I had today, the most shittiest of all; English, ICT, Maths, History, Geography.
Fuck it, I’ma just keep my head down today.
I slipped my shoes on and sighed. I just wanted this day over and done with.
I walked into Tanisha’s room to see she was still snoring. I approached her bed and watched her sleeping peacefully, then slapped her head.
“Get up.” I said bluntly. She opened her eyes and screwed me.
“What you doing?”
“Get the fuck up.” She scratched her head and yawned.
“What time is it?”
“Does it matter, we’re gonna be late.”
“Llow me man, I don’t even wanna go in today.” She kissed her teeth and rolled back over.
“I’m gonna thrown water on you.” I said.
“Do it if you’re bad.” She grumbled from underneath the pillow.
She must think I’m joking.
I left her room and went into the bathroom, filled the water into a cup then went back into her room. I stood beside her bed and just felt pissed off, so I poured it all over her head, causing her to jump up and start coughing uncontrollably.
“Fucking tramp,” She said. I shrugged then walked out without a backwards glance. I went downstairs and made myself some cereal then went into the living-room. She had only gotten out of the hospital a few hours ago, and hasn’t had any sleep since. I was surprised she was even awake right now; I can’t begin to imagine how she must be feeling. She gave me a weak smile but I showed no emotion back.
Maybe this is what life is gonna be like from now on, without him here.
Maybe there will be limited communication from here on.
“Riah,” I turned to her slowly, “I’m sorry for making you go to school today but it’s an-”
"Important academic year for me, I know." I rolled my eyes. I really wasn’t fucked for any of this.. I didn’t even wanna communicate with her. I know none of this is her fault but I just didn’t wanna talk to anyone.
"Before I forget, your money's–"
"In the cupboard, I know." I cut her again and she sighed deeply.
"Sha'riah, I know how you’re feeling right now but please don’t take it out on any-"
"I ain’t taking anything out on anybody. Just don’t talk to me mami; seriously, I’m not in the mood.” I huffed and went back upstairs to retrieve my school bag, then saw Tanisha doing her hair in her room. She noticed me watching her and screwed me.
“Don’t screw me, after you told me to do it.” I said, reading her harsh thoughts.
“Shut up man, don’t chat to me.” She replied coldly. I shrugged then headed back downstairs and opened the door. I looked back and witnessed mum still stood near the kitchen door in the same position, with a solemn look on her face.
“Sha'riah please don’t make this anymore harder than it already is. I’m upset aswell you know."
I heard Tanisha’s footsteps as she descended down the stairs, ready to leave as I was. I gave one final look before turning away.
“Goodbye mum.” I replied, not really acknowledging anything she had to say. I’m sick of hearing bullshit in my ear, I just wanted to get through the days without being pissed off.
Already I could tell that wasn’t going to be possible.
Tanisha and I walked down the road to school in complete silence; none of us said a word, which was unusual for the both of us since usually we could never shut up. We approached the bus stop and sat down. Been 10 minutes and we were still silence, not one word was uttered. After roughly 5 minutes the bus came and we went straight upstairs and sat down right at the back. I looked out the window and watched the world go by as I listened to 2pac. I came across a school girl, roughly my age, holding the hand of a little boy, like he was her son… or little brother. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a brief second.
Shawn…
We eventually got off at the right stop and strolled down the road.... in silence. We got closer to our usual shop and I saw Marcus and Dylan stood there.
Marcus
Woke up at around 7:13. Gonna be late as usual but man didn’t really give two shits. It’s not like school is important, can easily get the p so education can suck my dick. I got out of bed 2 minutes later, waiting for my morning glory to fade…dreamt of Riah last night, and it was good. Could always imagine her riding me, with that sexual face of hers, moaning as I went deeper…these dreams took the piss though, it was peak every time I woke up to discover our sessions were nothing but my imagination.
I was dressed in my uniform after half an hour; I got my school bag ready and went downstairs to make some toast. Mum was in the living–room, pissed outta her head from yesterday–fuck knows how she made it all the way downstairs without hurting herself. Dunno what to do wid her lately. Almost every day she was drunk or on some high tip. It’s jarring.
Hopefully Sha’riah will cheer me up today, seeing her in school and that.
I finished my toast and shook mum awake.
“I’m gone now.” I said.”
“Alright. Make sure you behave...listen to your pupils and teach well Derik." I kissed my teeth.
“Ite mum.”
“And I don’t wanna see all x's on your report today.”
"I was on report 2 years ago."
"....oh." She started creasing to herself. I shook my head and left her to it cos she was beginning to jar me.
Eventually I met up wid the usual wastemen and we walked to school. I started texting Katy again, wondering whether she was down for beating, but overheard Lewis talking about the session he had with Tanisha.
"Man actually thought she was loose, but she said it was her first time…didn’t believe her but when I put it in she was proper tight.” He informed.
“Was she good?” Dylan asked.
“Good for her first time.”
“Arr you’re lucky fam; mans been fucking the same chick for time,” Dylan kissed his teeth.
"Peak. Your game is shit then.” Me and Lewis started creasing.
"Aye shut the fuck up man,” I smirked.
“Why you getting emotional? Can’t take a joke, nah?”
“Llow it.” He tutted in annoyance.
“Such a wasteman.” Lewis carried on laughing.
“Man had a nice beat yesterday y’know,” I said.
“Swear down. She good?” Lewis asked turning to me.
“Good enough.”
“What’s her name?”
“Katrina.” His face dropped.
“Oh her, some any sket.”
“Don’t mind, the head was good.”
“That pussy must be wrecked and stretched now bredrin’." Dylan said.
“What you know about pussy, you don’t even get any.” Lewis started creasing again.
“What’s her digits?" He asked after calming down. He retrieved his phone from his pocket and I did the same.
“079.." He got it down,
"Yeah."
"217..."
"Yeah."
"03..."
"Yeah.”
"463.” He smirked.
"Safe." After saving the number under Sket3 he put his phone back in his pocket. Yeah we use girls; it’s not even a ting. I could treat a girl with respect, but if you got a chick offering herself out, you can’t just say no.
We eventually got to our main shop and Lewis went inside. Man was still texting Katy about this session. She better not be stunting, I ain’t received head in like a month – hopefully she could hook me up. I looked up and saw Tanisha and Sha’riah approaching. I smiled at Riah hoping she’d return it…but she didn’t. She looked pissed off…nah not even that, she seemed more upset than angry. She didn’t look at me once.
She completely ignored my presence and entered the shop, whilst her sister waited for her.
“You alright?” Dylan asked. She nodded silently then looked elsewhere. She was acting off aswell. Something was wrong with the both of them–eventually I’d find out what it is. She turned back to me.
“Who are you both waiting for?” She asked.
“Lewis,” I answered. Her face changed immediately, then she looked away once again.
Strange.
After a couple minutes both Lewis and Sha’riah stepped out the shop. Tanisha huffed impatiently.
“Took your time.” Riah screwed her and put her change in her pocket.
“Riah,” I said. She looked at me.
“Yeah?”
“You alright?” She nodded and said nothing more. They both walked ahead of us, as if eager to get to school.
Us mans looked at eachother quizzically.
“What’s wrong wid them fam?” Dylan asked.
“You’re asking me.” I shook my head
“Aye I beg you put this in my bag." I complied and placed the drinks and sweets into Lewis’ Just Do It bag. You know he’d be eating this in class and getting into trouble as usual, he’s a bait head like that.
We carried on walking, and I realised Riah and Tanisha were getting further away.
"Why’s Tanisha acting all weird and shit?" Dylan asked my question for me. Lewis shrugged.
"Don’t even know. Since yesterday she’s been acting all off wid me.”
“Have you tried talking to her?” I asked.
“Yeah, she ain’t having a bar of it.”
“Ahh.” I noticed Tanisha looking back at us, staring right at Lewis–but simply turning back and walking even faster.
“You’re on her init?” Dylan nudged me. I gave him a look.
"Who?"
"Tanisha." I laughed in my head, relieved he didn’t mention Sha’riah’s name. All that high grade and cigarettes was getting to this yout’s head.
Tanisha and Riah may look almost the same, but Riah had a certain element about her that just made me want her more. Something about her that Tanisha couldn’t match up to.
Shit I sound whipped again. I chuckled lightly to myself.
“Nah, Tanisha’s my bredrin’.” He nodded slowly.
"Skeen. Man’s feeling Sha’riah though.” I looked right at him and screwed slightly. To hear them words made me want to fuck him up.
“Ahh you prick. You just wanna beat.” I guessed. He laughed.
“Of course.” I breathed deeply.
He can’t have her.
I began clenching my fists, squeezing and releasing. Secretly I was angry, had to use that breathing technique I was taught in anger management, just in case I kill him.
We made it to school on time–not that I gave a shit–then went straight to registration.
Sha’riah
It was the third hour into school, and already I wanted to leave. So far I’ve managed to cuss 2 teachers and barge numerous students out the way. I was just in a bad mood, didn’t mean to take it out on anybody but people continuously got in the way. I ignored everyone around me and just sat there thinking of Shawn.
“Everyone turn to page 22." Mr Riley instructed. My God this teacher was jarring. Always found a reason to send me out. Swear down he was racist, and just used my colour as an excuse to tell me off, sometimes I never done anything and I’d tolerate it. But not today.
Wouldn’t mind being sent out this class anyway, just meant I won’t be stuck with him for a whole hour.
Everyone began the questions as told. But I remained seated not doing a thing. I weren’t bothered to do it…I weren’t bothered to do anything today.
Didn’t wanna work, didn’t wanna talk.
Just wanted to keep myself to myself.
“How do you solve this one?" I turned to Kamillah; she was the girl in my tutor group and we were quite close when it came to work and school. She was a short mix raced girl wid nice light brown eyes and a little button nose. Almost all the boys try a thing or two with her, but she was a stoosh one. Usually I’d help her with the work like I usually did – but not this time. I’m useless at everything anyway. I was useless to help my brother to survive and I’m useless now, and forever will be so there was no point.
I simply shrugged and she gave me a confused look.
"Help me Riah. You’ve told me how to do the simultaneous equation before but I can’t remember how to do it.”
“Ask someone who gives a shit.” She tutted and I shrugged once more.
“Don’t be like that man.” I aired her and stared into space.
“Riah?"
.........
"Riah"
.........
"Sha'riah–"
"FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The class froze and all eyes were on me. I kissed my teeth and Kam stared at me almost in horror. I looked around at everyone else, who had ceased all work and was now peering at me in awe.
“What the fuck you looking at!” I shouted angrily. Some people turned away and others continued to stare. Mr Riley approached the table and looked at me sternly.
“I don’t like attention seekers Sha’riah. And I especially don’t tolerate that sort of language in my class.” He said calmly. I rolled my eyes.
“Do I fucking care, why you in my face?” His jaw clenched slightly.
“Leave. Now.” I shrugged and began to gather all my belongings, “No, leave your things here.”
“I take my shit with me; don’t tell me what to do.” He growled.
“GET OUT OF MY CLASS!”
“Don’t fucking shout at me, what do you take me for! Move.” I barged passed him and opened the door, then heard him speak.
“And don’t even think about coming back, I don’t want to see your face again.” I nodded.
“Yeah cos that hurts my feelings. Prick. Like I wanna be here. Go suck yourself.”
And I left, slamming the door behind me.
I needed to get away from all of this. It’s all gone wrong ever since that phone call from Mami that I believed to be a dream. Tanisha was doing okay, but I couldn’t handle this. I was having weird fantasies about Shawn yesterday; I even stayed in his room for the rest of the night, imagining that he was there in the corner playing with his toys. Of course my imagination had got the better of me and I began to talk to him, and he replied. I used to love watching play happily by himself wid all his lil toys…we’d always talk about foolishness; we even had our own made up language. He was one of my best friends.
I’m gonna miss him so much.
I continued down the corridor, thinking about Shawn and how affected I was by his loss. I was so oblivious to my surroundings still in deep thought when I suddenly collided into someone, causing me to drop my bag. I bent down to pick it up.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, not acknowledging the person. Didn’t really care who it was, I just wanted to go home. I proceeded to walk away when the person grabbed onto my wrist firmly. I looked up to see Marcus stood there, carrying a worried look on his face.
Marcus
I was sat next to Katy in Maths, feeling up her legs. She was on it badly and I could tell. I knew she would soon be on it, and I was ready. Didn’t care where this happened, I was just roasting. I grabbed her thigh under the table and she smiled at me, and then rested her hand on my leg.
“When we gonna do this?” I whispered to her.
“Whenever you want.” She whispered back. I smirked and stroked her leg.
“I like that. What if I wanted it right now?”
“Then we could make something work.” She replied. She grabbed my dick and I bit my lip. I’d do things to her right then and there if certain people weren’t around. We were at the back of the class anyway, I could easily try something.
“Ever been fingered?” I asked quietly. She nodded sheepishly.
“Once.”
“By who?”
“Lewis.” I nodded slowly.
“If you weren’t wearing tights I could have been your second.” I smiled. She returned the smile and stroked me slowly.
“If you weren’t wearing trousers I’d do some things aswell.” She grinned. I chuckled.
“I like the sound of that. What would you do?”
“Anything.”
“Hmm...” I slowly seeped my hand into her tights and she smiled. Fuck it, it was worth a try, not like anyone could see.
“Right now?” She whispered.
“Yeah why not?” She giggled.
“Okay.”
“Marcus! Stop talking and get some work done!” Mrs Freeder screwed. I slipped my hand out and returned the screw.
Killing the fucking moment.
“Don’t need to shout Miss.”
“Do your work and maybe I won’t have to shout!”
“Calm down, shit man.”
“Language Marcus!” I kissed my teeth. “Did you just tut at me?"
"Nah, it’s called kissing teeth man. You don’t know nothin’.” She raised an eyebrow.
"Excuse me?"
"You’re excused.” She rolled her eyes.
"Go outside. I’m not in the mood for your rubbish, not today.”
“Fuck sake man.” I stood up.
“Language,” Marik said from the other table, grinning teeth.
“Llow it you beg.” He laughed.
“I’m not going to tell you again Marcus!”
“I’m getting out the class ain’t I? Don’t rush me man.” I kissed my teeth and eventually left. Fuck this man, I’m leaving. I started walking down the corridor when I noticed someone coming towards me from the opposite direction.
Girl.
She was coming closer.
Long hair, curvaceous body, sexy walk.
Yeah, Sha’riah.
She continued to approach me wid her head hung low. What the fuck was wrong wid her? I was hoping she’d cheer me up today but she’s the one upset – the fuck?
I’d give anything just to see her smile, atleast once.
She came close enough and I just stopped and watched her, she didn’t look up at all. She bumped into me and her bag fell. She sighed and picked it back up.
“Sorry.” She muttered without even looking. She attempted to walk past me but I held onto her wrist. She finally looked up and peered at me.
“Can’t say hi?”
She shrugged her hand away from my grip and smiled weakly, then gave a lil wave and continued to walk off again. I decided to follow her; I needed to know what was on her mind. She continued walking in silence and I just strolled beside her. She kept following wherever the corridor took her, and I just followed. 5 minutes later and we were now in the science department, and still going. She hadn’t said one word since, so I decided to start conversation.
“Sha’riah…”
“Yeah?” Her head remained low as she opened the door to the following corridor.
“You know you can tell me init?” She nodded slowly and we were suddenly outside in the playground. She sat down on the nearest bench and I sat next to her.
She stared ahead and didn’t blink once. I was beginning to get worried.
“Riah?” She slowly turned to me, “What is it?”
She stared at me emotionless, then a tear slid down her cheek.
“It’s Shawn.” She said in a croaky voice. I sighed deeply.
“What about him. Ain’t he getting better?”
She was silent.
“Does he still have amnesia?”
More tears fell.
“He’s gone.” She sniffed.
I was confused.
“Gone where?” She cried some more.
“Gone.” She repeated quietly. It took me a few minutes to realise what she meant. I shook my head.
“He can’t be.”
“He is.”
“What happened?”
“He died yesterday.” She said looking ahead. She seemed to calm for someone who’s younger brother passed away. But I knew her well, she was breaking down inside.
I held her close to me.
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered.
She finally broke down and began to weep into my chest. She held me back and cried hard. Hearing her cry was unsettling, there was nothing man could do.
“He’s gone Marcus, he’s dead. I can never see him again,” she wept.
Didn’t even know what to say or feel.
“I miss him already, he didn’t deserve this," her voice was muffled into my shirt. I slowly rubbed her back.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She shrugged and eventually stopped crying. Her head was left resting against my chest as I stroked her hair softly.
“Everything’s gonna be okay.” I whispered. She looked up at me.
“But how do you know that?”
“I just do, I wouldn’t lie to you.” She shook her head.
“Nothing ever works out for me.” She sniffed.
“Things will work out.” I said quietly. She stared at me.
“You promise?”
“Yeah, I promise you everything will be alright Sha’riah. I’ll make sure of that.” I wiped the tears away and kissed her forehead gently. She then went back to resting on my chest. I stroked her back and thought of Shawn.
“Marcus..”
“Yeah?”
“Why you out of class?" I sighed.
“Got sent out by that bitch init.”
“Was you arguing with her again?”
“Yeah she try par me.” I kissed my teeth and she laughed lightly. It was good to see her smile again.
“Marcus..” She said again.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“For?”
“Being understanding and making me feel better. Thanks.” I nodded.
“It’s my job.”
“Yeah,” she smiled and hugged me tight. I inhaled her scent and briefly closed my eyes.
Man didn’t wanna let go.
Sha’riah
The bell sounded for lunch. I sighed deeply and packed away all my things into my bag. Everyone made their way out of class all happy and shit. How can everyone be so cheerful? How can they not have a care in the world when people die 24/7. I don’t understand. Marcus may have made me feel slightly better, but I was still quite depressed. It would take a miracle for me to be 100% happy again. I walked out of class and down the corridor on my ones when someone jumped on my back.
“Aye Riah what’s good?”
The person came off my back and I turned round to see Michelle grinning gums at me. I gave weak smile and a lil “Hi” then carried on walking. She walked alongside me, giving me a questioning glare.
"What’s wrong?”
"Nothing.” We carried on walking till we got outside and met up with the rest of the girls who were sitting on the wall talking amongst eachother. They saw us approach and sat down, then began talking again.
"But how am I supposed to annotate the script that I don’t even understand? I don’t know what the fuck they’re saying.” Stephany complained.
"Romeo and Juliet ain’t that hard to follow.” Kyra replied.
"About, 'Hark beyond the window breaks.' The fuck does that even mean?”
“You can just copy off my book.” Michelle offered.
“I don’t like copying your work, you’re always wrong!" Michelle screwed her playfully and she laughed.
"Go on Google and search for a translation or something. Google helps me.” Kyra shrugged.
“I don’t cheat like you. I don’t use Google to do my homework.”
“Hush man, I don’t use it all the time.”
“What did you use to do your homework last week?”
“Google but–”
“Exactly!” She kissed her teeth. Everyone laughed but I sat there in silence staring into space. This day was taking so long to end; I just wanted to go home.
"Sha'riah what’s wrong?” The all turned to me waiting for an answer. They got air time. All that was heard was children shouting and talking in the distance. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about Shawn. Not just yet. I hate when people show sympathy. "Just tired,” I replied after a while.
“You’ve been quiet all day. There’s more to it than that. C’mon tell me.” Stephany sat closer to me and placed her arm round my shoulder.
"Seriously I’m fine." I lied.
"Ahh ite.”
"Can we go take Michael’s NY hat?" Kyra proposed, standing up. Everyone gave her an odd look.
“Why?"
“It’s sexy. I asked him where he got it from and he said girls shouldn’t wear them, so he wouldn’t tell me. I’ma just take it and run to prove a point.” She smiled and Michelle laughed.
“Let’s do that.”
“Sha’riah you on it?”
I shook my head.
"We need you to distract him." Kyra said.
“Don’t wanna.” Stephany rolled her eyes.
“We’ll be back in abit then.”
“Okay.”
They all ran off and I scoffed to myself.
They weren’t coming back.
I peered down at my dangling feet and remained seated, thinking of nothing in particular. All the boys playing football on the pitch as usual so I decided to watch. Nothing better to do in this shit whole.
“Sha’riah,” I turned to see Daniel coming towards me.
What the fuck did this bitch boy want?
Stupid short prick always feels the need to bother me, like why does he exist? He bothers me daily. One of the shortest pricks in this year group but his confidence was the greatest. Always tryna move me but he never got the message that I had no interest in him.
He came and sat next to me and put his arm round my shoulder. I screwed him and he smiled at me.
"Wagwaan baby?"
"Fuck off man.” He laughed.
"Calm down, I know you’re on your reds but you don’t have to take it out on man.” I gave him a powerful screw; the kind of screw you would receive from your mum for stealing the meat from the dutch pot.
If looks could kill
"You seem stressed b. It’s alright doe, I can help you to relieve it.” He smirked, I got what he was saying and kissed my teeth.
"Beatin’ you would be like beatin’ a stuffed animal. Just fuck off cos I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m small but my dick ain’t.” He smiled.
That’s it. I’m actually going to kill him.
I quickly grabbed hold of my left shoe and started beating him wid it. He had no mercy, he screamed like a bitch as I whacked his face with the sharp bit of the shoe. I managed to get his eye a couple times but he ran off like the pussy that he was.
Prick.
I sat back on the wall and breathed deeply. Next person to piss me off will get more than the shoe. I noticed Kyra and the rest running around in circles with Michael nd Dylan chasing after them. Their plan had worked, but watch when he gets his hat back. I spotted Kamillah sat on the wall at the far end of the playground. I went over to her and sat beside her, she looked at me then quickly averted her eyes. She was always shy and quiet, and would always be polite (‘cept when she cusses me about the way I ran). She was a good friend, and I felt bad for shouting at her earlier. I sighed.
“Sorry about before.” I said quietly. She nodded.
“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have pestered you.”
“Nah, I shouldn’t have shouted. You was only asking for help.”
“Let’s just forget about it.” I nodded.
“Okay.”
“You alright now though?2
“Yeah thanks.” I smiled politely and she gave a smile back before returning to her book. We carried on talking bout random shit and jamming. Lunch would soon be over and I could finally go home. I was anticipating the time to reach 3:15.
“What lesson we got next?” She asked.
“I got BTEC sports.”
“I still don’t understand why you chose that. You can’t even run.”
“Allow me man.”
“But you ain’t seen yourself run. It’s unacceptable in life.” I laughed and lightly hit her shoulder. This is what I wanted, to just laugh with a friend, I was slowly beginning to cheer up thanks to Kam. The boys were still running around playing football. I looked to my right to see Marcus pacing up and down calling out for the ball… topless.
Since when did his body become so nice though? I never realised till now he had a 6 pack, infact I was just completely unaware. I never did take the time to analyse him properly, and now I can’t understand why cos his abs were gleaming. I done a sly smile then turned back to Kam.
“You think Marcus has a nice body?” I asked. She looked at him.
“Yeah he has a nice V. Why, do you like him?”
“No, we’re friends…but I’m just saying, that 6 pack.” I shivered and she laughed. I smiled slightly as I watched him run up and down the pitch, sweating and breathing heavily.
Wow.
He looked at me and waved, I waved back and he done that sideways smirk he always did. I only realised I was still gaping at him in awe when Kamillah spoke.
“Look at you though, about you don’t like him.” I snapped out of it.
“I don’t.”
“But why lie?”
“I’m not, we’re just friends.” I looked over at him again running back and forth. From then on I just watched him play, until Robert got the ball from him and attempted to pass it, but instead kicked it over the fence. All the boys turned and screwed him.
“Argh why you so shit!”
“It would be you init, you wasteman!”
“Suck my dick man, pricks!” He kissed his teeth then they all rushed him. Eventually he was on the floor and all the boys were jumping on him and kicking him up. I couldn’t help but giggle. It was funny the way they would push him back down to the floor to carry on kicking him.
After a few minutes they all stopped the casually walked off and left him there as if nothing had happened. I laughed and turned back to Kamillah.
“Did you see that?”
“What?” She asked still reading. She was always into her books.
“Nevermind. What you reading anyway?”
“Coldest winter ever.”
“Is it good?”
“Very.” She handed me the book and I looked at the first page. I read a few sentences then she nudged me. I looked up.
"What?"
She pointed across the playground. I followed her finger to see Marcus hugging up Kadiesha. She was full on him, I screwed up my face. I didn’t like that. Some any hoe, she was always on his nuts. He doesn’t even like her.
Anyway I shouldn’t be bothered.
“Does that faze you?” She asked with a knowing look.
“No, why should it?” She smiled and took her book back. I understood why she had smiled and kissed my teeth.
“I don’t like him, Kam.”
“Yeah okay.” She said going back to her book. I tutted.
I didn’t find it funny.
I don’t like him.
He’s my friend.
How could I like him? I sat there quietly for a few minutes pondering. Nah I couldn’t. He was just a nice guy, and it’s been so long, I just can’t suddenly develop feelings just like that. That’s bullshit. But am I tryna convince Kamillah, or myself?
Marcus
It was lunchtime and us mans were playing football. We had went to the sports cupboard and tief’d the ball like no mans business. We were playing and I was skilling up everyone. It was bare hot aswell so man had to take off my shirt and ting.
I passed the ball and looked over at Sha’riah who was watching me closely. I waved at her and smiled, she waved back and I carried on playing. It must be hard for her to cheer up today, especially since yesterday was so tragic for her. I admired the way she just got on wid life and tried to be positive.
I tried dodging passed Robert wid the ball but he managed to get it from me, then like a dickhead he kicked it over the fence. What the fuck man!
“Argh why you so shit!”
“It would be you init, you wasteman!”
“Suck my dick man, pricks!” He kissed his teeth and we all rushed him. That was the last ball we had. We got him to the ground and started kicking him up.
“Arggh! Llow me man! Fuck!” He shouted. Everyone jumped on him and was fucking him up for roughly 5 minutes. After that we all jammed, I put my shirt back on and was chattin’ wid Omar.
“Fuck Robert man, like there’s anything else to do in this shit hole.” He kissed his teeth.
“Where’s he gone?”
“Ran off somewhere like a bitch.” I laughed and saw Kadeisha approaching. I sighed. Girl is on my cocky so bad. She won’t leave me alone. It’s come to the point where I think she might have mental problems. She once followed me to my yard aswell, and I didn’t even realise till I opened my front door and she stepped in after me. Forreal who does that?
“Hi!” She smiled at me.
“Yeah cool.” She stood there and carried on smiling. All she did was smile. Man was shook of this girl.
Omar looked at me then towards her. She then sprang forward and hugged me tight. I just stayed still as she squeezed me and held me close. I was confused, as was Omar.
“Yeah…mans gone. I’ll holla at you later Marcus.” He quickly walked off and left me. The prick!
This wasn’t the right girl I wanted to be close to in this way. Some any psycho bitch. I pulled out of her grip.
“What was that for?”
“I missed you.” She smiled.
“You saw me last lesson…”
“I know but still.” She grinned and her eye twitched.
“…ite.” I looked around as a sign for help but no one was coming. Everyone else was too busy doing their own shit.
“When am I coming round yours again?” Her smile widened.
Fuck that! The only chick I didn’t want round my yard. Weren’t even invited the first time, about ‘again’!
“I’ll talk to you in abit…” I said.
“Okay.” Her eye twitched once more and man walked–ran–across the pitch to where Sha’riah and Kam were jamming. Anywhere away from that bitch was safe.
I nodded and Kamillah and sat between them both.
“You cool ladies?” I asked.
“Nothing.” Kam answered as she read her book. Riah on the other hand looked troubled. Not even upset, but deep in thought. I put my arm around her shoulder and smiled.
“You alright?”
She nodded absentmindedly.
Kamillah nudged me and I looked at her. She mouthed something but I couldn’t read her lips properly.
“What?”
She mouthed the same ting. “Just say it.” She laughed and shook her head.
“Nevermind.”
I shrugged and noticed Sha’riah was watching me in some next way, a way she had never looked at me before. I couldn’t understand.
“What you looking at?” I asked playfully. She smiled.
“Don’t get rude Marcus.”
“Just a simple question init. You sure you’re alright doe?”
“Yeah just thinking.”
“Bout what?”
“Someone.”
“Shawn?” She shook her head. “Who then?” I asked interested.
She smiled and tapped her nose. The fuck?
“Why were you and Kadiesha hugging up like you’re close bredrins?” She asked.
“She hugged me, I didn’t want her to.”
“Yeah okay.”
“What you don’t believe me?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Cos I just don’t.” Kamillah laughed. “And why’d you put your shirt back on?”
“Not playing football no-more.”
“Well go play.”
Kamillah laughed again.
I didn’t understand why she was acting like this. I laughed it off but it was bookey still. Why are girls all weird today, first Kadiesha now Riah. It’s like they’re all on my dick.
Except Riah. Not her. Never her.
She’d never fall for man like I have for her.
Painful to accept but I’m just gonna have to deal with it.