William, who had been out on an errand with his father when Lord Russell and his sister had visited, declared his great disappointment at having missed them when Julia told of it on his return.
"I do wish you might have told me that you had an inclination of their coming, Julia," he told his sister exasperatedly, "for I should have very much liked to see them."
"And would you wish for me to inform you of every person who comes to call on me, brother?" retorted Julia. "Am I not allowed to have visitors without first raising the matter with you?"
Catherine left the siblings to their heated discussion, feeling too disheartened to contribute. Why her cousins seemed to be so enthralled by Lord Russell and his family, she could not think. The Russells had riches and elevated social status, of course – but she had never thought of William and Julia as people who would marry solely for material gain. Marrying prosperously was, of course, always looked upon favourably, but for William especially this was not so essential, him being the heir to a baronetcy. Catherine had also considered William to be a shrewd young man, yet somehow he did not appear to notice the many faults in each of the Russells' characters, which, in Catherine's opinion, far outweighed their merits.
Even Sir William seemed to be looking upon the family more favourably now, declaring that he would write to Lord Russell at once accepting the invitation to the ball as soon as Julia mentioned it to him. Only Lady Cavendish still seemed to share Catherine's feelings, and saw how badly her niece's pride had been wounded with Lady Russell's behaviour at Wyndham Hall. She, as a mother herself, could see Lady Russell's faults in bringing up her children, and did not see any good in Julia and William furthering their acquaintance with the family. But despite suggesting to her husband that the ball might not be such an advantageous opportunity for them, Sir William would not be persuaded. Partly due to his own enthusiasm, and partly due to his interest in Julia's happiness, he was very decided: they would go to the ball.
When the evening arrived, Catherine tried her best to find some enthusiasm. She did have a great love of dancing, after all, and she had always longed to attend a country ball. She and Bessie had often dreamed of them at home, imagining the beautiful gowns they would wear, the fine ladies they would meet, and thrill of having a gentleman suitor ask them to dance.
Thinking of Bessie made Catherine feel rather guilty. She had promised to write often to her sister, but with the recent goings on at Wyndham Hall and the uneasiness between herself and Julia, she had not felt much like writing. Now Catherine decided that she would try her best to attend the ball with high spirits and thoroughly enjoy it, for Bessie's sake, and vowed to herself that she would write to her sister the very next day telling her all about it.
With slightly improved spirits, Catherine rang the bell for Nancy to come and help her get ready. Although she did not have any gentleman suitors to impress, she still wished to look her best as she felt this would help her endeavour to enjoy the evening, so she selected a peacock-blue taffeta gown with a golden bust which she had been told became her very well. Once Nancy had skilfully pinned her hair and pinched her cheeks slightly as a finishing touch, Catherine glanced at her appearance in the looking-glass in front of her with approval. However, on exiting her bedchamber and coming across Julia on the stairs, she simply gasped in astonishment.
Her cousin looked truly stunning. Julia was radiant in a deep purple satin gown, with dainty rosebuds embroidered on the sleeves and bodice. It had a subtle shimmering hue, and Julia positively glowed in it as she made her way down the stairs with her head held high, the image of womanly poise and elegance. The transformation from the young, giggling girl Catherine knew was incredible, and she felt rather astounded at the effect a gentleman suitor seemed capable of having upon a woman in the mere space of a few days.
Once again Catherine's aunt and uncle and William were waiting at the bottom of the stairs, but this time Julia did not speak to Catherine as they descended to the entrance hall – their relationship had become quite altered since their first visit to Wyndham Hall. Catherine felt rather despondent as they reached the hall – but it did not last long, as William instantly came over and took her arm.
"You look very beautiful tonight, cousin," he told her as they made their way out to the awaiting carriage.
Catherine felt a little rush of pleasure at his words, as naturally a lady would at receiving such a compliment, though of course he was only being polite.
"My appearance is nothing compared to Julia's tonight," replied Catherine honestly, and without a trace of envy – she truly did admire her cousin's beauty.
"Julia has Lord Russell to tell her how beautiful she looks," said William. "I wish to be the one who tells you how beautiful you are too, Catherine."
"I – I thank you," Catherine faltered, finding herself quite unable to speak properly. "You are very kind."
Internally she felt herself burning with shame – although she had no personal experience of receiving compliments from gentlemen, she was fairly certain that awkwardly telling them how kind they were was not an appropriate response. But William simply smiled, helping her up into the carriage, and Catherine felt a sudden mixture of emotions stirring inside her as she noticed the sincerity in his eyes; she could not ever recall him gazing at her in such a way before. It made Catherine begin to wonder...
Could it be that William had not told her how beautiful she looked purely out of kindness? Could he, in fact, be in love with her? And – might it be possible that she loved him? Indeed, these emotions Catherine had just experienced were very new to her, and felt akin to the sort of romantic feelings women in love stories were described as having. Perhaps she had in fact been attracted to William all along, but had suppressed her feelings without meaning to, as she knew they were unlikely to be reciprocated. And to think! William could have been attracted to her all this time too, but had not acted on his feelings as he did not believe she returned his affections!
Catherine was overcome with this new, terribly romantic idea throughout the journey to Wyndham Hall. She found herself unable to refrain from giving William shy, sidelong glances every so often, but he seemed to spend most of the time gazing out of the carriage window, deep in thought. There was an atmosphere of eager anticipation amongst the family as they drew up the grand drive to take their place in the line of arriving carriages, and now Catherine suddenly found herself getting swept up in it too. It was impossible not to feel a flutter of excitement as she gazed intently outside at all the finely-dressed noblemen and women ascending the front steps of the impressive building, and she impatiently awaited the evening of dancing and merriment ahead of her.
Eventually it was their turn to be attended out of the carriage, and Catherine, catching snippets of music and conversation from inside, suddenly felt rather overwhelmed and became quite queasy. Thankfully, though, at that moment William took her arm to lead her in, and she felt a rush of gratitude at this reassuring action. It was made slightly less special by the fact that he had taken Julia by his other arm, but Catherine satisfied herself by thinking how kind William was not to let his sister face the humiliation of entering alone.
Once inside the ballroom, Catherine found herself unable to move with ease due to the large throng of people packed inside. There were enough young people to form around ten couples, she guessed, and yet more people gathered around the outside of the room. The music band were placed at the furthest end of the hall, playing a merry Baroque tune, barely audible over the chatter of the assembled guests as the Russells' acquaintances were introduced to one another. There seemed to be a mixture of both nobility and gentlemen and women without titles like herself. It was easy to distinguish between the two, for those presumably of the gentry wore the latest fashions and finest fabrics. Indeed some of these women's gowns were so fine that Catherine spent a good few minutes completely entranced, imagining owning one herself, until she, William and Julia were suddenly spotted by Lord Russell, who came to greet them at once.
"A very good evening to you, Mr Cavendish," he bowed to William, "and to Miss Cavendish and Miss Taylor," with a bow to Julia and Catherine. "It is a great pleasure to have you with us this evening."
Catherine noticed that his gaze seemed to linger on Julia as he said the last part, and as soon as the general civilities were exchanged, he wasted no time in expressing his hope that he still claimed her for the first two dances, as a few couples were now beginning to line up in readiness. Julia blushed and affirmed, allowing Lord Russell led her onto the dancefloor as she glowed with happiness. Catherine sighed, feeling she could not bring herself to be displeased with the arrangement if Lord Russell made her cousin this happy; besides, she now had far greater concerns of her own. With Julia gone, Catherine and William were left alone for the first time since he had told her how beautiful she was, and she felt the fluttering sensation reappear in her stomach as she wondered what would happen next.
At first William did not speak; he seemed to be glancing around the hall as if looking for something, or rather someone. Perhaps it was his parents, or one of their acquaintances. Catherine hoped for the former, as she did not particularly feel like conversing with any of the party who had been at Wyndham Hall during their last visit, except perhaps Mr Wilmot and his wife. She noticed them engaged in conversation with a military man and his wife, Professor Lawes hovering awkwardly at their side. She then noticed Mrs Russell conversing animatedly with a large old woman in a luxurious velvet gown, and thankfully Miss Russell appeared to be engaged to dance with a tall, blond-haired young gentleman.
By now most of the couples had taken their places, and Catherine began to worry that she would be left without a partner. Meanwhile William seemed to have found what he was looking for; a brief look of inexplicable misery passed over his face, vanishing so quickly that Catherine wondered if in fact she had imagined it. What happened next, however, completely made her forget it.
"Would you do me the honour of partnering me for the first dance, Catherine?" William asked, extending his hand to her with the utmost sincerity. After mentally chiding Julia for swooning a few days earlier, Catherine found, much to her embarrassment, that she made a similar simpering display now. The way William had uttered her name made her heart swell with pleasure, and she felt all her troubles melting away in an instant.
"The honour is mine," she replied, allowing herself to be led to the centre of the room, feeling as if she might just burst with pride. As they took their place with the couples Catherine found herself glancing at Julia and Lord Russell with a softer heart. So this is what love feels like, she thought blissfully. No wonder Julia had been so vexed at Catherine for attempting to snatch it away from her! Perhaps, Catherine thought now, she had not disliked Lord Russell so much after all. Perhaps she had merely been jealous of Julia's happiness and attentions from the viscount.
Well now Catherine had her own suitor, and a more handsome, gentle, kind-hearted man she had never known. As she glided around the ballroom at William's side, she truly felt as if she were dancing on clouds, so light was her heart. The only thing that could have made it more perfect would have been if William had gazed deeply into her eyes the whole time, unable to take his eyes off her. Instead his eyes were darting around the room throughout the dance, but Catherine pacified herself by deciding that it was probably out of nerves more than anything else. She felt no nerves – in fact, she could hardly remember ever feeling so at ease with herself – but it was quite a different matter for her cousin, as he had now made his affection for her known to everyone present. Naturally this would make him a little apprehensive.
Catherine had hoped that they might dance the next dance also, but William declared that he felt the need for a drink, so she accompanied him over to the punch bowl. As he served a glass for Catherine, she couldn't help but notice that his eyes were wandering once again, but she did not realise the object of his attention until he suddenly gave a heavy sigh.
"I do not like the look of the gentleman still dancing with Miss Russell," said William darkly. "He looks as if he has a cunning way about him. I think I shall ask her to dance the next dance – I cannot bear to see her smile so sweetly at that man a moment longer! But alas! What hope have I? I may be the heir to a baronetcy, but her rank and situation in life is so clearly above my own that I fear she will reject me without a second glance! With as handsome a dowry as hers no doubt is, she must have countless noble suitors dropping at her feet. Oh, dearest cousin, what am I to do?"
During William's sudden passionate outburst, Catherine had experienced more emotions than she had ever thought possible in such a short space of time. It had taken her so much by surprise that for a moment or two the meaning of William's heartfelt speech escaped her. Understanding came all too soon, however, and with it a severe sensation of nausea as Catherine realised who the real object of William's attentions had been all along. Oh, how foolish she had been! Of course William was not in love with her! Only now could she see what a ridiculous notion it had been. Now it was very clear that he had danced with her not out of romantic affection, but out of kindness, the same kindness that was behind his compliment back at Broxcliffe Park.
The one consolation, slim though it may be, was that Catherine had realised the truth now. She shuddered to think at what might have happened should these fantasies of an attachment between them have continued much longer! This did nothing to ease her pain at present; if even for a short while, she had believed William to be her admirer, and her heart broke for the lost love she never really had. She hardly knew what to think; only that she could not bear to be in William's company for a moment longer, lest she might succumb to hysterics in front of all the guests.
So Catherine did just about the only thing a lady can be expected to do in such a situation. Excusing herself in a rather squeaky voice, she left William's side and fled from the ballroom as if her life depended upon it.
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A/N: I would just like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read and voted/commented on The Noble Life so far! Before Wattpad I hadn't ever really shared my writing with anyone, so to have people reading something I've written is such an amazing feeling :)
I've been updating about once a week so far, and I plan on continuing with that, so the next part will be up sometime towards the end of next week.