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❝Missing you.❞; 2ne1.
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FLASHBACK
I sat comfortably on the grass as I looked at my right side, Hanbin was gazing at the blue hue sky. We were taking a walk around a park. Since I know that... tonight I will leave him.
"I miss Yunbyeol..." He mumbled but enough for me to hear it.
Will you miss me too?
I smiled as I followed Hanbin looking at the blue sky. "When Hanbin's missing someone, just remember to look at the moon at night..." I told as I turned to him. The wind then blew to his hair which made his fringe to become messy on his forehead.
How stunning and beautiful...
"Why?" He stared back at my eyes. I want to caress that face because I know I will not touch it for a long time after this... The lump in my throat became heavy as I remember I will leave him. Why do I need to do it anyway? Then how about the promises that I have made?
I only smiled bitterly, then answered while not breaking our stare, I didn't want to, "because there is only one moon, you know what's that mean? People told that remembered all of us live in the same world, and there is one moon. Just look at it every night, the person you are missing is looking at the same moon too..."
"Is it? I'll take that..." He smiled. Simple smile yet so beautiful... "Noona look at this!" He looked at his hands. Oh, since when he brought the plushies? "This is noona and me... forever happy, Yeay!" He pointed the Minnie Mouse for me and him for the Mickey Mouse, he made the Mickey and Minnie hugging each other. Oww~ Cute.
I only could chuckled. Forever? Is it? I gulped trying to hold on my tears from falling down. I will not cry, not now... not infront of him. I don't want to tell him about leaving him. Afraid...
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All things already packed. Checked. Flight ticket. Checked.
I bit my bottom lips and sprawled on my bed. Does moments last forever? Why should I leave Hanbin? Must I just torn the ticket? Should I? Don't Younhyun. It's for Hanbin. Hanbin's happiness.
I smiled as I remembered Hanbin smiling, being happy, jumped like a kid, behave like a toddler. How cute.
-Flashback -
"Noona..." He said while leaning on my shoulder, "I'm happy..." I smiled, "Why?"
"Because you're here, noona..." He uttered. Seconds after that, I felt his hand held mine, intertwining his fingers within it.
"Will noona stay forever here? With me?" He went off from my shoulder and stared deeply on my eyes.
I grinned widely and nodded once.
-End of flashback -
"Mrs. Jung, can you take care of Hanbin for me?" I said holding her hands.
She responded back, smiling warmly, "I've been working here for seven years... I knew I can... I will do everything for Hanbin, he is like my own son..."
My blue shirt stained becoming dark blue where the tears finally dropped. Mrs. Jung touched my face and wiped it, "don't worry, Hanbin will be alright... just keep praying out there, I know Hanbin will get well soon..." She hugged me, patting my back softly.
This was it, the right time to cry my heart out. I sobbed, crying hard. Mrs. Jung kept giving me advises, supports, telling everything will be alright but sometimes life doesn't go the way we planned.
-
It was a relief that Hanbin already went to his bed at 7 night. My flight was at 9 so it made my work easier.
I opened the door of his bedroom and entered. He was sleeping peacefully. I remembered the first time I met him at the hospital when I married him... That was time when I fell I in love...
I caressed his face, admiring the view of his face. I will not forget this innocent angel... I leaned down, kissed his forehead, saying farewell.
I went out of the room, closing the door quietly. Soon as I was already downstairs, Mrs. Jung helped me brought my luggage to the car. I hugged her, asking to take a good care for Hanbin.
Soon, the chauffeur drove off.
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[NEXT MORNING]
I brought my luggage in the apartment. Quite tiring too... Hours of flight. My eyes roamed around the apartment. Quite big for a person to live in. Good thing that this apartment was already well furnished. Well, Mrs. Kim was the one who rent this apartment for me. She paid all, my bills, ticket.
I decided to take a nap first. Tired, you know.
I sat on the couch and leaned down. Hanbin... He's probably still sleeping now. It's still at 3 freaking at the morning in Korea. In America... its still at 7 pm. Of course, everyone was still sleeping. I should sleep first now...
-
'Something kinda crazy - Red Velvet (is playing)' My phone rang.
I woke up by the sudden ringtone as I fished out my phone from the pocket. I adjusted my eyes due to the bright sunlight.
Who the hell call me in this morning?
I looked at the ID. From Korea... I clicked the 'answer' button.
'N-noona?' The other line spoke. Hanbin... I immediately sat straight on the couch. Biting my lower lip to hold onto my tears. Hearing his voice made me alive again. I started to miss him. I imagined him sitting next to me, calling my name and went to me for a hug. I smiled as I looked up to the ceiling.
'Is that you, noona?' He sobbed. Don't tell me Hanbin that you're crying...
'Mrs. Jung, is this really noona?' Hanbin asked, maybe Mrs. Jung was the one who dialed my number for Hanbin. I heard utters from the other line.
'Hanbin, yes, it's noona.' I smiled.
'Noona! Where are you?!' He yelled. I backed my phone away then put it back near my ear.
'Mrs. Jung told that you went out, but you will come back here soon... When is that soon, noona?' He spoke, his voice showed that he was sad.
'Hanbin, don't worry... you will see noona later, ok? I will bring a big present for Hanbin. Just wait, okay?' I lied.
'Jinjja?!' He rouse up. He believed it. Sorry, Hanbin. I lied to you, again.
'Yeap.' I nodded eventhough he didn't see it.
We continued to talk as time passed by. His voice, laugh... A melodic voice to hear...
'Promise me to come back later, okay?' He said, I can imagined him pouting. I laughed quietly.
'Promise, Hanbin...' My face soon turned to a solemn one. I remembered that he will get well soon. And he will not remembered me. For what, I promised to you, Hanbin? You will not remember me.
'I don't want to end this call noona... I miss you...really. You don't miss me too?'
0f course, Hanbin... I really missed you.
'Eung...' I answered.
Soon, we ended the call which I didn't like. I want to hear his voice again... I don't know if I could stand after this day holding the feeling of missing him...
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Three days later...
I hummed a song as I cooked the food in the pan. Mixed, mixed, mixed.
'If you- BIG BANG (is playing)' My phone suddenly buzzed as it vibrated on the kitchen table.
I turned off the cooking stove and went to the table, grabbing my phone. I clicked the 'answer' button.
'Younhyun...' It was Mrs. Kim.
'Mrs. Kim?' I answered, her voice was different somehow telling that she worried about something.
'Hanbin... He, he already got well... I don't know how does it happened. But yesterday, he blackout... I didn't tell you, I don't want you to worry much... But...' She stopped. My heart tingled back to life and beat to the the most furious rate I'd ever felt. Hanbin already normal, cured... How should I react?
'Really, Mrs. Jung? I don't know how to say this... I'm really happy!' I smiled widely.
'He is different... He forgot the memories where he started to meet you, he only remembered the moments before that... His past...'
Her voice turn to sad one. My heart... it really hurts... He forgot me. I am a complete stranger for him now... My tears finally dropped. Hanbin... you forgot me...
'And he changed...' She told. I remembered something.
-Flashback -
"Hanbin was actually normal like us before... it was all turned when he was 14. He always told me about a girl he liked so much... That girl died because of him... Not him but me..." she stopped and took a breath in.
"I didn't know, sometimes I was being selfish. I regretted it. He was crossing the road as someone hit him by a car. But that person the one who hit Hanbin was the one who held grudges with me... He used my son to make me payback for him... I wasn't with Hanbin that time, I was all busy with my world, my works. Money was all that I thought. With that condition where it caused Hanbin's head hit the ground hard, affecting his brain... The one who hit him on that time was actually having a plan on kidnapping him. He then brought Hanbin to his place. My maids immediately called me telling what happened to Hanbin. I cancelled all meetings and schedules, going home. I reported the polices to find the location of my son. I didn't know what happen that time. The kidnapper called me, saying that my son was between life and death. I asked him what he wanted but he refused to say anything. He said all he wanted was to make something valuable to me gone. And that was Hanbin... And I also heard that the girl he liked went to save him but unfortunately... She died being shot by gun. Finally, the polices found Hanbin's whereabouts. And the news wasn't really good... Hanbin lost too many blood... His brain couldn't function well. The operation took hours but it was all thank to God, He saved Hanbin... and it all needed like this... I realized that if I weren't that selfish before, everything will go normal, all happy..." She played her fingers, twiddling it.
I don't know Hanbin went through this all... I've dreamed about that... so, that dream was giving me signs? That girl must be the one that Hanbin loved...
-End of flashback -
I sighed. Now, Hanbin's already normal like the others... How he behave now? I cannot imagine any of it... I only could pictured the cute Hanbin, innocent... What does Mrs. Kim mean by 'He changed'?
I already decided to come back after two months because he already got well... will I be ready? I miss you, Kim Hanbin.
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"One caramel frappe and one Americano!"
"Yes, coming!" I shouted back in English. I made the drinks on the machine and soon as I finished, I handed it to the customers. Fuh! That were 34th orders for today! Tiring!
I worked for temporary only in one of the coffee shop. I excavated my phone out from my apron pocket.
12 Apr 2014
Monday
4.36 PM
58 days already passed since I left Korea... On 14th Apr, I'll go back there.
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14th Apr 2014 | infront of Kim's condominium
"Ma'am, you're already here..." The driver told me. My heart started to beat faster. I heaved a long sigh before I could go out from the taxi, handing the tax.
I brought my luggage out of the car trunk . Here I am... Hanbin, how are you? Long time no see...
I touched my chest which my heart beat in an unusual beat. Should I knock the door? Should I bell the door? Should I go back to America and never came back to here? But I missed him, really missed him.
I lifted my hand up to reach for the door's bell but I put it back to my side. I'm afraid to meet the new Hanbin. How is his reaction?
'Ding Dong!' I washed my thought off and pressed the bell.
'Click.' The door opened. "Mrs. Kim?" Mrs. Jung greeted me using Kim's family name for my name. Wow. I'm still their family. Correction here guys, I'm still Hanbin's wife.
I pulled her into a hug, smiling widely. "That's good you're already back..." she said. I broke the hug, feeling half disappointed on whether to ask about Hanbin. She answered my questions about Hanbin's condition as if she could read what's in my mind, "He is not Hanbin that you knew... I hope you can accept the fact..." She said with a sour expression.
I only could nodded as Mrs. Jung helped to bring my luggage and entered the house. I missed this house really much, the reminiscences that I left... will I have it back?
Mrs. Jung put my luggage in my room while I wandered around the house.
My legs brought me to the garden where I remembered I used to picnic there with Hanbin. I smiled as I touched every flowers, so beautiful... flowers, flowers, flowers... The water fountain... So stunning.
I stopped at my track when I saw a guy sat on the bench at the garden. With his fingers touched his forehead, looked like he was thinking hard. He was holding a pen while a notebook was placed on his lap. It was from the right side view. That eyes, nose, lips... I knew him.
I went to him slowly, is that really Hanbin?
"H-Hanbin?" I whispered. My breath became more heavy, my heart was beating hard within my chest.
He suddenly turned his head towards my direction because the sounds of steps that I've made. I froze at my place. Will he hug me like he used to do? Will he say he miss me so much? Will he cry because he didn't remember me and thought I'm a stranger, ending up crying and curling onto a ball?
Different from the first time when he met me where his eyes widened, but this, his stare was all icy and cold. It was like I'm completely a stranger for him...
"Who are you? And who are you to step in my house?" He asked coldly, his eyebrows met. This is totally the different Hanbin, exactly opposite.
His words sank my heart down. It hurts. Crying wouldn't solve anything, right?
-Flashback -
"Who are you?! Help me! Go out!" He staggered back to the corner of the room, shouting for help, saying the same words again and again. Mrs. Kim admonished the other doctors and nurses not to interrupt when I was the one who is incharged to take care of him except for when I needed they helps.
He ended up curling onto a ball at the corner and cried. Is this how he used to be? His life must be tough...
I put the foods that I brought and put it on the table beside the windows. I smiled at his cuteness and intended to scoot closer to him. I ambled to him, sitting down while hugging my legs till my chest. I put my head on my knees, looking at him. He looked more scared of the fact that I was more closer than before.
"Yah, Hanbin ssi... Don't be afraid, I'm your friend..." I gave an amiable smile, continued, "I will not hurt you, I don't bite people, unless if I am a lion, right?" I smiled again. He's being cute...
"Why would I? Eomma said that I should not talk to a stranger." He turned around to meet his face with the cold white wall. Now, he was backfacing me. "But you did, you just talked to me..." I said.
-End of flashback -
"I'm Younhyun... I一" I spoke but he cut off, "by any consequences, I never asked to know your name nor about yourself... you didn't answer my question yet." He stood up, placing the pen and papers on the bench not breaking our stares. Those innocent eyes were known to be soft and beautiful but now, it was as cold as ice. Killing stares. Mostly like he was throwing daggers and knives just by his silent stares.
I gulped. Even the way he talked was rude. He sauntered to me to near our distance.
I looked up at him since I'm shorter. I missed his innocent manners at me, his cuteness, his laugh, his smile, his dimple... I bit my lips to hold onto my tears as much as I wanted to caress and touch that face, as much as I wanted to feel being in his embrace again.
Now he was already infront of me. He raised an eyebrow.
"I knew you, weren't you the girl who's in those pictures in my photo album? Once again, I asked you. Why are you here and who are you to me?"
I looked down avoiding his stare, he changed...I don't believe this is him... Hanbin...
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xxxxxxxIriraParkxxxxxxxx
Author
// July 12| 3.29 PM
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A/N: at last! The 5th chapter updated. I couldn't focus writing this story before because of foods. Well, it's my chocolate day today! Ultimate dark chocolate cake, chocolate cheesecake, oreo chocolate ice blended, oreo donuts... What would be better than enjoying these foods all by myself? Bye bye. Way to go for the 6th chappie... Thank you for reading~ Kamsa. :* (/^.^)/*