I think I passed out after Angelique left.
Either way, when I awoke, dried blood caked my chest, and my collarbone hurt. When I tried to sit up, my entire shoulder aches and a headache seems to threaten right behind my eyes. I don't feel so hot this morning. I feel every ache and pain and despite her warning, I still yearn to see Xavier and tell him what happened.
'Stubborn' appears on the other side of 'lust'. Glowing itchy letters.
I make a weak attempt for the bathhouse, and draw my bath. Samson's presence was absent this morning, and well noted. When I woke up, there was a glass of water and a note on my nightstand. It was written in a woman's curvy handwriting. 'Team meeting. 5 o' clock. Usual spot. We've got to talk'.
I crumpled the note and threw it in the garbage can.
I've been wearing trousers lately, and today is no exception. I miss wearing jeans, and I don't have a pair here. But Castiel does. And he'd probably know where to get them.
As I made my way to the bath house, I can hear giggling from around the corner. I inch closer as that laughter continues, and look around the bend. Castiel and Jasmine. Castiel has been laughing. His neck and part of his face is covered with kisses. He's touching her face and her back is against the wall. Her arms are around him. His are around her. I watch their lips meet, and turn silently to return the other way.
I'm caked with blood. My blood. It's on my hands, on my arms and neck. I can't have them see me like this. I don't want them to know what happened. I don't want them pretending to care. And despite seeing Castiel kissing Jasmine, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous.
Feeling very anxious as I enter, I'm glad that the bath-house is seemingly empty.
I draw the bath, scrub the blood off and slip into the water. My skin is rubbed raw and red and I make my finger trace over the crooked letter 'A'. 'A' for Angelique. More like A for asshole.
She made sure that it would definitely scar.
Grabbing one of the scented rags, I rub myself red until I start crying. I don't feel safe here; so out in the open anymore. I don't even feel safe in my bedroom. Everything I've done so far just seems to backfire on me. I couldn't even keep Castiel's attention on me - not that I wanted it, anyway.
Angelique's words ring back to me, and although I know that I should, I feel a desperate longing to see him. Everything that happened last night finally comes back to me, and I feel the need - not only to apologize - but to tell him about what happened with Angelique.
Option number two? I could face Angelique myself. I could devise a plan to make sure that she was watching, and I could make her jealous enough to fight with her while I was sober.
Hurting a competitor is forbidden.
I wouldn't sell out Angelique that easily. It had to be done publicly; where it will show who she really is.
She will have major consequences.
I dress quickly; making sure that the rather large 'A' on my chest is well-hidden beneath a sweater. My stomach growls, and I think about making a detour to the kitchen. At least Anna would be happy to see me. She would understand, and I needed to talk to someone about what happened.
My stomach growls, and as I skip along to the kitchen, I hope that I don't see another competitor or anyone else.
My inflated ego has been hurt, and it needed fixing.
I knock on the kitchen window; waving my hand in front of it as a familiar face comes to let me in. "Permission to speak?" Samson asks.
Annoyed, "yes. I'm looking for Anna."
"Anna's not here."
As he's shutting the door, I put my shoe between the space so it won't close. "I know that you can tell me where she is." I narrow my eyes. "Take me to her."
"As you can tell, I'm a little busy at the moment." Samson says rudely. "It's marked on that map you copied. She should be in her room."
"And Samson?" I ask. "Make me breakfast, please."
"Right away, ma'am." He grits through his teeth, and as soon as my foot goes, the kitchen door closes.
I look around, paranoid that a servant cleaning up this party mess will see what I'm doing. I produce the map from my pocket, and study it awhile longer. I can see the area marked off as 'servant's quarters', and I study the route to avoid getting lost. There is so much of this palace I haven't explored yet, and I intend to see all of it before this competition is over.
Few doors were marked off in the servant's quarters. Anna's was marked, and I headed in their direction. I didn't think about the cameras. I kept the map in my pocket, and it isn't like I expected to run into anyone down here.
There was a large door you had to pass through to get into the servant's quarters.
You had to have a keycard to enter.
I slump against the wall dejectedly and feeling very lonely. I watch servants as they enter and exit, and none of them look familiar. I should just retreat to my room. I should leave this whole thing alone. I bring my knees up to my chest, and rest my head against the wall, waiting for nothing in particular but wanting more than ever to run into Anna.
"Hey... " Xavier leans down beside me. "Ar-are you lost? What are you doing here?" He puts his hands on either sides of my arms and helps me up. "What's wrong?"
"N-nothing, I'm just waiting for Anna. I - I just wanted to talk to her."
"It's much more than that, Ariel. Something is wrong with you this afternoon. Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to guess?"
I laugh a little. "Good luck trying to guess."
"Castiel?"
"The least of my problems."
"Jasmine?"
"No."
"Persephone? Elimination? Can't you tell me?" He seems anxious - as if he knows the issue is about him.
"Follow me."
He does.
I know that my room isn't a safe place to talk.
While I'd been drinking last night, I discovered an off-mapped place that hadn't been bugged. It's on the second floor, and shroud in darkness. It's the perfect place to hide together, and it's the place I take him.
It's a dark room, and it's presence has been forgotten. Wires hang down from the ceiling and dust is everywhere. Certain floorboards have been uprooted. But it's dark. It's safe. It's safer than my own bedroom.
I pull him inside, shut the door and switch on the single light bulb. I pull down the corner of my shirt, and show him the knife job Angelique did on my chest. His eyes widen immediately, and as delicately as he can manage, he runs his finger over it, making me shiver. He purses his lips, and looks back up at me. Swallows. "Who did this to you?"
"Who do you think?" I narrow my eyes at him.
He let out a soft sigh, and tried to reach forward to touch me, again. But I wouldn't let him. "I'm so sorry." He looks away. "I told you that Angelique was a thing of the past, and that's all she'll ever be. She's jealous of you. Of us. Don't let her get to that pretty head of yours. Hm?"
I snort. "You're unbelievable."
"What did I do?"
"She said that you were murdering scum, and that's the same thing Castiel said. She said that the two of you went out together, kissing like eternal lovers on a bed of stolen cash... Is that a lie too, or is she just making up stories?"
Xavier's face fell. His fingers shook as he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. 'Murder' - always glowing. Always there. Always a reminder. "I didn't want to tell you." He whispers. His voice is cracking.
"Tell me what?"
"Hades only hires the best. Each of his servants died in a very grand way... Angelique and I were wanted criminals. She and I did everything together. Tied at the hip. She had me wrapped around her little finger and then some. She was my first love, my only love at the time . . . Sure, there were flings. But nothing ever special, and nothing that ever lasted. But she was the villainous anti-hero I needed. The adventurous part of my boring life."
"What happened?"
Xavier grins. He made two guns with his hands. "Pew, pew..." He pretends to shoot, blowing off invisible smoke.
"How many?"
Xavier runs a hand through his hair. "You're going to hate me when I tell you."
"How many people have you killed?" I demanded.
He looks away. "Fifty five."
"Fifty five?" I tried to keep my voice down. "And you both took your lives." I shake my head.
Xavier shoved my back against the wall, and showed me his chest, again. This time, the spot where his heart glowed ever so slightly. "I told you that I was a bad person, and I told you that if you were smart, you'd stay away. But you never listened. You never do... I told you that I was dangerous."
"But you'd never hurt me. Would you?"
He looks away. "I-- "
"Xavier." I whisper harshly, reaching for the door.
He grabs my arm, and prevents me from leaving. "I would never intentionally do anything to physically or mentally hurt you under any circumstances. Ever."
Looking into his eyes, I knew it was true. Xavier would never hurt me.
I drew closer to him, wishing more than ever that I could meet his lips. He put his arms around me, and his forehead presses against mine. "I wish I could kiss you." He whispers. Instead, he kisses my forehead, and I can still feel his body shiver.
"Why did you kill them, Xie?"
Xavier looks away from me for a split second. "I felt so powerful with a gun in my hand. It was amazing." He shivers against me. "The feeling was overwhelming, and it's sick... but . . . I loved it, and Angelique knew that. We were the post-modern Mickey and Mallory. All fifty states we left disaster in our wake. Our car alone was enough conviction. It was full of money, expensive watches, lace panties. Liquor bottles. Contraband." He looked deep in thought. "I killed whoever I felt needed to die, and I started with all our enemies." There was a sick, and twisted fire in his eyes. "I don't want to talk about this."
"But I do - " I demanded.
"Stop, Ariel." Xavier's voice was firm.
"Tonight, I'm going to make your girlfriend - "
"Ex-girlfriend, Ariel. Ex." He insists.
"I don't care what she is." I hiss dangerously close to him. "I'm going to make her pay for what she's done to me. No one puts their hands on me." I open the door to the room.
Xavier caught my arm. "Be careful," he says. "Angelique is dangerous, Ariel."
"Thanks for the warning," I narrow my eyes. "But I don't need it." And I leave him standing in our dark, empty room staring after me.