Chapter Twenty Three- Time Heals All Wounds, I'll Be Okay Until Then
One Mississippi- I was raised in Clearbay
Two Mississippi- My parents were Derek and Carol Craine
Three Mississippi- My hair is brunette and my parents are blonde
Four Mississippi- I found a manila envelope
Five Mississippi- My parents aren't my parents
Six Mississippi- The Bad Boy loves me
I took a deep breath and looked at my hand. It was intertwined with Mason's as he looked just as nervous as me.
"You ready princess?" he asked me as we stood on the porch.
The house wasn't as big as mine. It wasn't a modern beach house, but more of an old English home. Smaller, but still beautiful.
I opted on going in with only Mase and aunt Chrissy. I figured bringing a whole army of teenagers would be overwhelming for one visit.
What was it that I wanted from the woman? Answers to questions I still had to ask even myself? Closure...but closures meant goodbye and I wasn't ready for that.
My brain never caught up to my mouth though because I told him to ring the bell. From behind the heavy wooden door I heard shuffling and yelling.
Much to my surprise a young girl opened the door. She had dark wavy hair and emerald green eyes like me. "Uh...hello." I managed to choke out.
The young girl scrutinized me up and down, "You must be mom's new student from the arts school."
"Actually-" I said before she cut me off.
"Mom! Your new student's here!" she yelled leaving us at the door.
Before long I heard shuffling and a woman yelling back, "I'm coming!"
I held Mason's hand tighter as he massaged spall circles in my palm. It was a small gesture but it calmed my nerves. Aunt Chrissy looked nervous and scared as the woman approached us.
She had light brown hair. The same green eyes. Our noses were different. But she was Raven....she was my mom?
"Oh hello how can I...oh my." she gasped when she caught sight of who was at the door.
Her long lost sister, the daughter she gave away, and a boy who looked like he belonged in a boot camp.
"Raven." aunt Chrissy nodded solemnly.
"Chrissy, what brings you here?" Raven asked.
Before aunt Chrissy could answer I found my voice, "Hi, I'm Allyson Craine. I...i'm sorry this was out of the blue but I just had to see. See for myself that you were real." I said keeping my tone on the chipper side when I was really feeling the need to cry and runaway.
"I'm sorry but you have to go before my husband-"
"Rae, who's at the door?" A man asked coming to the door. Ravens eyes widened in fear as the man came to the door. "Hello, I'm Elliot Hudson."
"Elliot?" Aunt Chrissy breathed. The man staggered as his attention was on my aunt.
"Chrissy? I haven't seen you in nearly eighteen years. How are you?" he asked, shock evident on his face.
Aunt Chrissy couldn't form a sentence to save her life. Elliot looked at me and Mason as his eyes flickered with an unknown emotion.
"You must be Chrissy's daughter." he said awkwardly as he reached over to shake my hand.
I blinked as I tried to register everything. Elliot Hudson was Raven's husband...who knows aunt Chrissy....maybe he was an old friend or something?
"Allyson Craine, and this is Mason Reynolds." I gestured to Mason who wss trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Hey." Mason managed clasping my hand tightly.
"I believe they were just leaving." Raven said pointedly at Chrissy.
"How could you not tell him." Aunt Chrissy snapped, which was totally uncharacteristic for her.
Raven turned her glare to her older sister, "Chrissy leave." she bit out.
"No! Allyson drove in the dead of night for this. She doesn't deserve this and you know it! Now tell him." Aunt Chrissy demanded in a dark threatening tone.
Mason leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I know this is intense and all, but I like when she's like this...you know when it's not directed at me."
"Of course you do." I rolled my eyes before the bickering got to me. "What's going on?"
Aunt Chrissy pointedly glared as Raven. Daring Raven to stop her, "Raven hid something from all of us and it's time she come clean."
"Let me handle this! Not all of us can be perfect like you Chris!" Raven growled.
"What are you two fighting about?" Elliot frowned growing even more confused.
You and I both buddy....
"Tell them, tell them both." Aunt Chrissy demanded.
Tell who what? I could see this fight going nowhere as it went in circles.
"Let me handle this, they're my family not yours." Raven shot back. Yep they were bickering sisters. "How about we all go inside before the neighbors call the cops." she suggested.
"Finally, I was freezing my ass off out here." Mason muttered under his breath. I would have hit him, but he was beyond right. I was freezing.
We all shuffled into the house. It was homey and very warm. I couldn't help but glance at the photos that hung on the walls.
Then it clicked. Raven had a family of her own. A picture that hung above the fireplace told me that. In addition to the daughter, she also had a young son, and Elliot.
"You have a lovely family." I said out of nowhere.
Raven stiffened and paled over. Elliot took notice but smiled kindly at me, his brown eyes giving me a sense of relief. "Thank you. We have a twelve year old daughter Fallon and a four year old son Tanner."
I nodded as I took it all in. The photo of a young Fallon was strikingly familiar to me, and Tanner had the same dimple I had on my left cheek when I smiled. They looked so much like me.
It was relieving and painful at the same time. I had a family who looked like me, who were a part of me. A part of me felt bitter that Raven chose to keep them Fallon wasn't much younger me....
"I always wanted a little brother or sister." I blurted out as my eyes were transfixed on the family portrait.
"Allyson, Elliot." Raven said softly pulling me gently out of my reverie. "There's something you both have to know."
Aunt Chrissy pulled Raven's hand into hers and gave her a reassuring smile. Coaxing her to go on. I myself held onto Mason's, who rubbed small circles, relaxing me.
I thanked my stars Mason was here. I know anyone of my friends would be there for me, but Mason was the comfort my heart set on. He was my anchor in this chaos.
Since we stepped out of the car, his hand had yet to abandon me.
Raven turned to Elliot, "Do you remember when I broke up with you when were sixteen-" she began when it dawned on me.
I darted my eyes on Elliot. He was a tall man, and handsome even. He had dark brown hair with dark brown eyes. He smiled sadly and I caught the left dimple....my dimple.
No, he can't be. I never even got my bio dad's name.
"I never told you why we broke up." Raven mumbled shamefully, "I should have told you." she began to cry.
Elliot quickly had Raven in his arms as he cradled her, "You don't have to tell me, all that matters is that we're together now."
"No, I have to tell you." she sobbed before looking at me. The sadness in her eyes was undeniable. "I was pregnant. I was sixteen and scared, my parents cut me off. I ran away to my grandmother's and decided against terminating the pregnancy."
At this Elliot turned to me as it dawned on him. "What the hell are you saying Raven?" he asked shocked. His brown eyes filled with a million questions and he was starting at me.
Elliot didn't wait for her answer-I think he knew it. He shook his head and scoffed laughing bitterly, "You're tell me this young lady here is our daughter that you chose not to tell me about?"
Raven looked like she wanted to say something but I didn't stick around to hear.
My breathing shallowed as everything became crystal. I was prepared for Raven, the woman who gave birth to me.
I wasn't ready for Elliot Hudson. I wasn't ready for a biological father. Suddenly I got up and walked towards the door.
A group of shouting erupted from inside. I ignored it and beelined for the car.
How could I be so stupid? What made me think I could barge into their lives. I wasn't ready for this, I'll never be ready for this.
"Ally wait for me!"
"Allyson sweetheart please wait!"
"How could you keep this from me Raven!"
"Elliot calm down! Allyson please come back I can explain everything!"
All the voices jumbled together and I didn't stop. Maybe I should have though. Maybe stopping would have been a great idea...especially when I tripped over a damn root. When everything turned black.
***
The first thing that registered was the raging headache I had. The second were all the needles in my arm.
I tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn't open. Maybe i'm a vegetable now. Maybe I lost all brain function and I'm stuck in this limbo between life and death. I'm straddling a very delicate line.
Maybe Mason knew what was going on. I wish he was here to hold my hand again...
"She should be out for awhile." a woman said. "She must have fell pretty hard, but not hard enough to contract a concussion."
"What are those needles in her arm?" my mom asked worriedly.
Maybe it was meeting my bio parents and being shocked beyond life. Or blacking out on that harsh fall that put everything in perspective.
I couldn't blame my parents. I couldn't really blame anyone. Sure the wounds would still be there, and the looming question of 'what if?' will always be present. But the fact of life is Carol and and Derek were my mom and dad.
They taught me to walk and talk. They were there when I fell off my bike and on my first day of school. They held me during my nightmares and watched me open my first college acceptance.
They may not be my biological parents. But DNA doesn't make family...it's love.
I loved my whack job of a mom. And my down to earth dad. Maybe I wasn't from their bloodline, but maybe I was made for them in some weird plan the big man upstairs concocted.
So having my mom and dad with me in the hospital was the most amazing thing to me.
"The needles in her arm are just anesthetics to help with the pain she'll feel later. Now who are the parents exactly?" the doctor asked.
I tried with all my might to pry my eyes open. And on the third try, they did. Everything was hazy, and nothing was clear. Then again...nothing really is.
"Mommy, daddy?" I croaked out.
Then before I could blink my eyes, my parents were by my side. Dad's eyes were blood shot as if he had cried for hours, and his five o'clock shadow only told me he hadn't slept a wink.
Mom on the other hand looked like she was ran through a tractor. Her perfect blonde hair was knotted in a bun. There wasn't a line of make-up on her face. Even her glowing tan was a pale color. From the puffy eyes, she'd been crying for hours non stop.
"Wr are." Dad croaked on the verge of tears, "We're her parents." he whispered.
"I'm sorry." I cried...and I mean really started to cry. They weren't tears of anger, just sadness.
"Oh no baby don't cry." Dad said frantically as he wrapped me in a protective hug. He held me tightly as if i'd disappeared if he let go.
He reluctantly let me go as mom went in to hug me. If I thought dad hugged tightly...then mom could hug the life out of me. "We're so sorry. We should have told you a long time ago." mom began crying as she pulled back, now she was hysterical, "Your dad and I thought you'd hate us if you knew. You're ours Ally, I couldn't lose you. I love you so much and you'll always be my daughter no matter what."
"I should have never walked out like I did last night. I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry."
"We could never be angry with you. You were reacting, I would've done the same sweetie. We're human and we make mistakes and we lash out. But we're family Ally Doll." Dad said softly.
I darted my eyes away from my parents. Raven and Elliot were watching us intensely. I cleared my throat and looked at the two people who had created me.
"I should apologize to you too. I should have never went to your house unannounced."
Elliot surprised me when he came forward. It looked like he wanted to hug me, but thought twice and settled for patting my bed.
"No don't be sorry. As shocking as it was, I'm happy that you came. We all have a lot of discussing to do, just promise you won't hurt yourself anymore and scare us half to death okay?"
"No promises Elliot." I smiled. He stopped short as he studied me.
"You have the Hudson dimple." he laughed.
I touched my cheek, "I guess I do."
Mom went in to hug Raven in what I assumed was a bone crushing hug. I laughed despite my headache as I caught Raven wincing.
"Thank you." my mom whispered. "Thank you for giving us our daughter."
And that was that. Elliot and I listened as Raven and my parents recounted the story.
Raven filled in with the beginning. How she was cut off, and broke up with Elliot. Then the pregnancy and how I was a restless baby.
I found some answers in her story. She wanted me in the beginning and was fighting it till the end, but ultimately thought my parents would do fantastically raising me.
Then mom and dad told them stories about me. My cringe worthy stories. My favorite foods, hobbies, my love for aquatic life.
I noticed Elliot and Raven drinking up the information and drawing characteristics towards themselves.
Elliot was a biology teacher. Raven was an art buff. I pulled some similarities from them...
I was lost in a daze of amazement as I heard stories being swamped. Some from my parents and others from Raven and Elliot.
This is what the truth felt like. This was the secret hidden from me.
Time will heal all wounds...I'll be okay until then.