It's six in the morning and it's still dark outside. I was unable to have a good night's sleep due to multiple troubles that assaulted me. I ended up tossing and turning the whole night, which contributed to the darker rings of circles under my eyes. Zander's grandfather's words kept replaying through my head like a broken tape. Should I let Zander know about his grandfather's thoughts? But it's between them, should an outsider like me interfere? Furthermore, how should I apologize to Zander for my accusations? I fiddled with my clover-shaped necklace. I was so obsessed in my thoughts that I did not notice the extra shadow that stretched out beside mine.
"You're early," an orotund voice startled me.
"Oh hey," I greeted Ducan. "You're pretty early yourself."
"Yup. I can't seem to get any sleep," he dropped down on the grass beside me.
I shifted myself so that I was facing him. "Why? Is something troubling you?"
"Nothing's troubling me," he denied with a shake of his head.
I studied his expression closely. "Are you sure? I'm all ears if you wish to rant anything out."
"Thanks but there's really nothing," the corner of his mouth lifted. "The same goes to you."
I smiled.
"So...you're friends with Zander now?" he threw me the question out of the blue and I grimaced.
"No, we're not."
Ducan scratched the side of his neck. "Then why would you act like that back there?"
"It's complicated...How do I put it...?" I sighed.
How should I explain this?
"It's okay if you don't wish to elaborate," he asserted quickly.
I peered over at him and he smiled reassuringly. All he have been was nice to me and yet, I had kept so many things from him. We are friends, I should trust him more. He would have hurt me by now if he wanted to too. I don't know how well he'll take this but it's time for me to tell him the truth. However, I would have to be careful not to expose Zander, since we already had an unspoken agreement between us.
"Um..." I cleared my throat. "On those days that I was supposed to rest in my room, I was actually searching for the most recent map of the caves in Gladion's room. Unfortunately, I was caught by Zander on the last day."
His eyes widened in disbelief at my confession. "What do you need the map for?"
"I wanted to pay a visit to Savage in the caves. I realized that he's not a Clover since his broken leg was not healed. That means that he might be from Earth...like me..."
"You're not thinking of going back to Earth, are you?"
"I want to go back. To reassure my mother that I'm safe before coming back here to fulfill the end of my deal with Gladion."
"Gladion would never allow that."
"I guessed. That's the reason why I did not ask him directly. I'm afraid of how he would react. So, I resorted to trying to obtain it secretly instead."
"And Zander caught you before you succeed?" Ducan speculated.
"Yes. Remember that day when I left the table abruptly?"
"When you told me that you were going to the bathroom?" he checked.
"I'm sorry I lied," I lowered my head guiltily. "I thought that Zander was going to tell on me when both him and Gladion were not present at the table. So, I went to stop him before he could say anything. When I burst into the room without an appropriate reason, I thought I was going to be exposed. However, Gladion somehow speculated that I was worried about Zander skipping his meal. So I acted out of instinct and went with the flow. That's why Gladion thought that Zander and I were good pals. At the dining table, I had to act that way to keep up with the lie and avoid getting caught."
By the end I finished my explanation, the perplexed look on his face had dissipated. He stared at me wordlessly and I kept my head down. I had lied and hidden so many things from him. He would think that I don't trust him enough even though we are friends. I won't blame him for being angry at me. He could yell at me and I would take all of it without a word of complain.
I inhaled deeply.
"I'm really sorry for hiding these from you. I won't object if you want to yell at me or even sever ties between us. I know I'm asking too much but please help me to keep this a secret from Gladion."
My voice was quivering throughout. I don't want to lose him as a friend. I really don't. It was selfish of me to expect so much from him. I didn't realize that I was so upset by the prospect of losing him as a friend, until a tear slid down my right cheek and dripped onto my hand.
"God. Whatever made you think that way? I would never tell on you. Even if you did not ask me to," Ducan said softly. "The fact that you revealed this to me shows that you trust me with your secret, isn't it?"
I raised my head, not able to believe what he had said. It's too good to be true.
He smirked. "I know I can be such a heartbreaker, but I don't want you to cry for me."
"Who said I was crying because of you? I yawned!" I wiped my tears away and turned to the side.
"Don't fight against it. You'll feel better if you follow your heart."
"What if I choose to follow my head?" I challenged.
"It's better to follow your heart," he claimed.
"Says who?" I quirked a brow.
"Says yours truly."
I rolled my eyes. "Your logic."
"What's my logic?"
"Everything you say is correct."
He placed a hand over his heart. "You know me too well, I'm touched."
"You can be so silly," I gave him a playful shove.
"You are so dramatic, Fortis." Ducan laughed.
"Ditto."
After our exchange of laughters, the silence that followed right after was especially unsettling.
"So...we're still friends?" I held my hand out to him.
Something flashed in his eyes and he hesitated. I started to panic. Did he change his mind? Then, he took my hand and squeezed it to my relief.
"I've never had a single friend in my life before you," he muttered.
My ears perked up. He's finally sharing something about himself. However, I was baffled. How could someone as warm and friendly as him not have a friend?
When I next turned to look at him, his face had darkened considerably and it was as though a storm was brewing inside him. He was no longer the optimistic Ducan that I am familiar with but a different person. This is an entirely different side of him. The side that I want to know more about.
"I'm the only one from where I came from that bear a different mark- a four-leafed Clover mark. Everyone feared and loathed me. "
"But why? Aren't four-leafed Clovers considered special?" Gladion did not mistreat us in any way. In fact, he had viewed us as important and placed us well above his people.
"To some people such as Gladion yes. Others however, would just see you as the Demon's reincarnation."
I shuddered. Us? As demons? I could never imagine that. Other than our addition ability, we are pretty much the same as them.
He released an exasperated sigh and closed his eyes. "They claimed that I was a demon child and blamed me for everything unpleasant that went their way. Whenever someone in the village died, it's my doing. Whenever the village lost a trade, it's my fault. They were initially too afraid of me to do anything to me. However, they later figured out that I could not defend myself and they took everything out on me."
I was appalled.
"But where are your parents? Didn't they stand up for you?"
"My parents?" his eyes flew open in intense rage. "How could I rely on them? They abandoned me as soon as they found out that I was not normal!"
I flinched at his sudden outburst and I regretted it immediately. Why did I even do that? It wasn't as if the rage was targeted at me. Ducan must have noticed my reaction, for he twisted his head away sharply.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled softly. I'm not sure what I'm really apologizing for though. It could be for my reaction, for mentioning his parents or maybe his sad plight.
"Don't be," he interjected. I finally understood why he mentioned that my mother must have loved me. His parents had left him even without giving him the opportunity to prove himself, whereas my mother had raised me single-handedly. If my mother had abandoned me, I don't think I would have survived...
"What did they do to you, Ducan?" I asked tenderly.
"At first, it was only insults. Then, they started to hit me with me with all kinds of objects they could get they hands on. Wooden club, whips, metal rod and all. They knew I would heal eventually so they continued the beatings until I was just hanging from a thread. I tolerated everything from them, hoping that by not fighting back, I could prove that I am not the demon they thought I was. That I am actually like them too. Nonetheless, it didn't work," he paused to inhale deeply.
"What...happened next?"
His body stiffened.
"When a mob from nowhere came and trashed our place, killing many people in the process, I was accused for being the curse of their village that must be ridden of. They cornered me that night...with killing intentions. Knowing that there's no way I could talk sense into them, I defended myself by fighting back. However, my attempts were futile against such a large group of people. Thinking that I was dead, they then threw me into a forest nearby to be eaten by the creatures of the night. Fortunately, I was only unconscious. I wandered around aimlessly for a few days before collapsing just outside the caves..."
I'm too agitated by the end of his words and it took me a moment to organize my thoughts into coherent sentences. "That's...terrible. They are a bunch of sadistic moronic scums. I swear, if I could get my hands on them, they would die a thousand times over."
"You can't possibly do anything to them. But thanks, I appreciate it." Ducan's face softened into a half-smile.
"True," I huffed. I know that I'm not capable of killing anyone.
I could never imagine Ducan having such a dark past. He didn't do anything to deserve that. Not at all.
"Ducan?" I called him when I realised that he was back staring at the ground with a bleak look in his eyes.
"Hmm...?" he answered absentmindedly.
I covered the top of his trembling hand with my own.
"I'll be your friend. Period."
It took a few seconds but his face stretched into a lopsided grin and I knew that the optimistic Ducan is back.
"Come on," he got to his feet and stretched out his hand to me. "Let's train."