A Little Too Much - Shawn Mendes (I don't know if I had added this song here already but whatever XD)
Chapter 20—Jealousy and Phone Calls
It was just eight in the evening but I was already on my bed, rolling, wearing my pyjamas. I was never this early in bed for Saturday nights unless I was sick. I wasn't sick but I was feeling sick.
Ever since Sam texted me around five this afternoon that Drake showed up, I had been having this weird feeling brewing in my stomach. I can't keep myself in one place. My mom had noticed that and I just told her I was just worried how Sam's date was going. But of course, I wouldn't tell her she was with Drake. That would be another story to tell—I wasn't ready for it yet.
I groaned and before burying my face on my blue covered pillow. I felt really bad about not telling Sam everything. Knowing her, she would be mad if she would know about what happened Thursday night. I didn't want her mad.
I groaned once again as I recalled the events last Thursday. We kissed. Drake and I kissed. As much I would like to talk to someone about this, I do not know who to talk to. Sam wouldn't love to hear my story and wouldn't give me an advice. Of course, I couldn't and wouldn't talk to Shelby—not yet anyway.
I faced back up, looking at my off-white ceiling. What have I gotten myself into? I found myself asking. I closed my eyes as the memories of last Thursday came crashing into me.
"I...I'm sorry," It was the first thing I heard from Drake after pulling out from the kiss. He quickly removed his hands away from me. I felt cold. He was looking at me, a look of surprise and regret was evident in his eyes.
I can't help but feel a pang of pain eating me as he looked at me that way. Did he not want to kiss me? Because right now, it might be late to admit but I did, I did want to kiss him.
"I'm sorry," He repeated, as he looked away from me. Surely, he didn't want it to happen. He was sorry for kissing me. For a second, I thought I should give this a chance and then he would pull out saying he was sorry.
I was really stupid.
"It's okay," I lied, tugging a small smile on my lips. He looked at me, confusion manifested on his face. It wasn't okay for me but I had to lie. I quickly turned away from him and pulled out my phone to check the time. "It's getting late, we should go home."
"We haven't eaten yet," He said, reminding me.
"We can just eat it when we get home," I answered shrugging my shoulders. "It's getting cold and dark here."
"Okay," He nodded and we began walking back towards his bike. It was an awkward walk. When our hands would touch, we would immediately pull away.
The ride back home was less awkward. It was shorter too. When I got off, I gave him his helmet while he gave me my food. I didn't invite him inside. I just wanted to be alone.
I smiled and waved at him before walking inside the house. I remembered the curious look my mom was giving me when I got home. I gave her and dad a kiss before telling them I would go to my room. But before going up stairs, I saw my mom giving me a calculating look. She was trying to read me—to find out what happened.
My phone rang pulling me out of my thoughts. I sighed as I pulled myself up before grabbing my phone from my bedside table. Then I saw Sam's name flashing on my screen. I hit the answer button before putting my phone next to my ears.
"Hello," I greeted as I leaned my back on my head board.
"I love you so freakin' much!" I heard her scream on the other line. I had to pull my phone away and put it back when I didn't hear her scream anymore.
"I know you do," I told her, smiling softly. "You don't really have to shout it to my ears, okay?"
"I'm just extremely happy right now and I can't thank you enough," I heard her say before letting out a dreamily sigh. "He's just so perfect."
He's not perfect. He has a bad eye sight. He had been wearing contact lenses outside their home. He could stay up all night just playing video games—a thing which may have caused his vision to blur.
He's not perfect. He can't even cook. He can't wash his clothes without a washing machine. For a guy of his age, he was still scared of his mom's wrath. He was a mama's boy.
"So, we went to this theatre. When I felt cold, he offered his jacket. Isn't he sweet?" I could feel Sam's happiness radiating through my phone. I can't help but feel a pain building up inside my chest. I wish it was a physical pain for it to be treated right away.
"After the movie, we strolled around the mall and ate at this restaurant," She continued, not waiting for my response. "I was still full with the soda and pop corn we had in the theatre so I only ordered for a salad. Guess what?"
"What?" I asked, when I noticed her long pause. She was obviously waiting for my question.
"He was surprised that I only ordered for a salad. He looked so concern. He told me I shouldn't starve myself. Of course, I wasn't," She continued blabbering. "But goodness, he is concerned. Isn't that something?"
"I-I guess so?"
"Anyway, he asked me about trivial stuff. You know, cheerleading and school," She continued as I adjusted myself and lay on my bed, my phone next to my ears. "I didn't know he knew me, honestly. He told me he had watched a couple of our performance and he praised me."
I forced a smile even though I knew Sam wouldn't see it. I was happy she was happy. "He praised me, Court. I'm totally gaga about him."
"You are, Sam," I forced a chuckle. I am too, Sam. I guess I am, too. Maybe way more than you do.
"Hey, you don't sound okay." She sighed and I could picture her frowning.
"What? I am," I lied, forcing another chuckle afterwards.
"Court, what happened?" I knew she was frowning. There was a lot of concern on her voice; the happiness she was radiating earlier was forgotten.
"Nothing," I sighed. Nothing. I wasn't jealous. I wasn't worried. I wasn't concerned. I wasn't thinking of how not fall further. "I'm perfectly fine, Sam."
"Courtney Richards, really, what's going on?"
"Samantha, I am fine," I insisted as I rolled to the other side of my bed. "I. Am. Fine."
"Don't lie to me, Courtney," She pressed. "Are you really okay?"
"I swear, I am," I told her. Knowing Sam wouldn't stop questioning, I spoke. "I...I was just too worried earlier, that's all."
"Worried?" She asked. "About the date?"
"Y-yeah," I nodded. It wasn't a lie. It did concern their date, more like her date.
"Aww," She cooed. "Courtney, stop worrying. Drake and I had fun tonight. Thanks to you, okay?"
"I'm glad you two did," I mumbled, my lips on a thin line.
"We actually talked about doing it again." She told me, making my eyes to fully open.
"What?"
"Yep, next week," She added, confidence and joy palpable on her voice.
"T-that's g-great." I lied yet again. Second date already? Are you guys kidding me?!
"I know," She sounded excited. I then heard her sigh on the other line, making me furrow my eye brows. "Fine, I know we're both tired. You were tired because you were thinking too much and I, well, you know."
"I know,"
"I'll change then get ready to bed. So, good night?"
"Good night, Sam."
"Good night, best." She whispered before hanging up.
I placed my phone back on my bed side table before taking a deep sigh. Why must I fall for someone like him? Why do I have to fall for my best friend's crush? Why do I have to feel this towards someone who couldn't reciprocate my feelings?
I was stupid. I haven't learned anything, have I? I just had my heart broken by Tyler and Shelby. My heart was in pieces and I was just trying to put it back together. Now, it was like my hands were being stepped on as I picked up the pieces of my broken heart. It felt like life just didn't want my heart to be fixed.
Why does it always have to be one of my best friends? I heard myself ask. I then felt a tear escaped from my eye. One by one, they fell until I can't count them anymore and my pillow was slightly soaked.
He wasn't even my type but then, did I have a type? He...He was this nerd like what most people think. He was this anti-social physics nerd I had met. He only had two friends. He wasn't the outgoing type. He was my total opposite.
He would always be in his room, if not playing, he would be reading. If not in his room, he would be found somewhere around their home, helping his mom or dad out. Then every first weekend, most of his relatives were at their house for some sort of family bonding.
As much I'd love to think of the things I should think for me not to fall for him, I can't. I knew he wasn't perfect. That was the problem. I had accepted them even before I had acknowledged this feeling I was having for him. I know, I was doomed.
I would cry it out now. I would cry it out alone, without Drake by my side to comfort me. I would cry here not because I was betrayed. I would cry here alone in my bed because I just feel genuinely broken.
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A/N: This has to be written. I know, I know. But just relax, okay? Relax people. XD
Anyway, I would love to hear from you. c: Please vote if you liked it or something. XD