Clouded Distance
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Time and Distance
Hana didn't know how it happened. One minute she was walking, unsure of where she was going, and the next she was seated on a train.
She hadn't realised which subconscious thoughts had driven her to the train, but now she was seated and had time to process her thoughts, she realised that she'd been heading for Rin. Samezuka was miles away from Iwatobi, and Rin hadn't known anything that had just happened on the beach. It gave her a time to distance herself from everything, even if it was just momentarily.
There weren't many people on the train, and the few who were shot Hana odd looks. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror and winced, noticing how untidy she looked. She was all too glad to get off the train and escape the stares of other people.
Samezuka looked and felt empty when she arrived; there were barely any lights on, and there wasn't a soul to be seen. Hoping she hadn't just missed him, Hana entered the administration building and approached the man seated behind the desk, who looked moments away from heading home.
"Is Matsuoka Rin here?" she asked the receptionist.
The man's eyes widened upon noticing her disheveled figure, but still responded. "He's still here. You're lucky to catch him, most have already left for the Oboron holiday."
"Where abouts is he?"
The receptionist listed the room number. Before waiting for anything else to be said, Hana ran off with only the numbers to guide her. The receptionist yelled something - probably something about girls in boys dorms - but Hana couldn't care less. She needed to see Rin, she couldn't hold this in more much longer...
Hana ran around Samezuka, and managed to find the dorm room. Eventually, after a few wrong turns, she located the dorm the receptionist said Rin was in.
Without caring that she was probably breaking a dozen school regulations that she didn't even know about, Hana slammed the door open, only able to catch a flash of red hair through the tears in her eyes and the strands of her own brown hair flying in her face. "Rin!"
Rin whipped around, his eyes widening upon seeing her figure in the doorway, what with her windswept hair, her tear-stained cheeks, and rumpled yukata. "Hana?" he exclaimed. At once he was at her side, draping an arm around her shoulders. "Hana, are you okay?"
She shook her head and sniffed, wiping furiously at her eyes as everything came crashing down on her once again. "H-Haru..."
Understanding filled the depths of his eyes. After gently squeezing her shoulders, he guided her over to the bed. "Here. Sit down," he murmured. Hana did as he told her. Once she was comfortable he asked gently, "What happened?"
"Well..." Haru glanced up as she felt the bed dip once again, even though she and Rin were already seated. Her eyes widened upon seeing who was there. She hadn't performed a complete survey of the room once she'd arrived, having had eyes only for Rin. She didn't know how she'd missed him, especially considering how tall he was. "Sousuke-kun..." she muttered, looking into his dark eyes.
She was temporarily stricken by fear upon remembering their encounter at the opening of Iwatobi SC Returns all those months ago. She hadn't thought he'd liked her very much after that cold stare of his. Plus, if he had known that she'd overheard that conversation between him and Rin at Regionals, when he revealed everything about his shoulder... Yeah, he probably wouldn't like her very much.
But his face lit up into a gentle smile and he too rested a hand on her shoulder. "Talk, Hana. Get it off your chest."
Hana sniffed once more and wiped at her eyes, calming herself down. And then, once she was calm enough, she told them everything. She told them of Haru's uncertainty since the regionals, and how they were all scared for them, and how she'd just been accepted for the scholarship, and how Haru had just reacted when they'd all confronted him at the festival just then.
When she finished, tears were pricking at her eyes again, but she hastily wiped them away. She breathed deeply and felt her body begin to shake. Why? Why is this happening? Why couldn't she help Haru? She was his girlfriend, wasn't she, the person who was supposed to understand him the most?
Wait, were they still in a relationship? Haru's words echoed in her eyes. I don't need you anymore, Hana!
Had he... had he just broken up with her?
Rin and Sousuke hadn't said anything so far. But Rin placed an arm around her. "It's not like Haru to go off like that, especially at you," he murmured. "I know how much you mean to him. Everyone does. It's hard to imagine him saying something like that to you."
Hana groaned and buried her face in her hands. "What do I do?" she moaned. "I'm trying to help him, but nothing seems to be working! He refuses to be helped. I feel so helpless, watching him suffer like this without knowing what I can do for him. I just... don't know what to do anymore..." Her shoulders started to shake once again.
"Don't worry, Hana..." Rin said softly. He squeezed her shoulders, and allowed her to lean into his side. "Calm down. I know what's going on. Makoto let me know a short while ago."
Hana sniffed, looking up slightly. "He did?"
He grinned. "I have a plan, Hana. Just breathe until then. Hopefully things will work out soon."
"What sort of plan?" She didn't know what Rin had planned, but she knew that none of their attempts to get through to Haru so far had worked. She looked over at Sousuke. "Do you know, Sousuke-kun?"
But Sousuke shook his head. "Rin hasn't confirmed it yet."
"You'll find out tomorrow," Rin promised. He squeezed her shoulders gently. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."
Hana had no idea what Rin was about to attempt, but decided to place her trust in him anyway. She trusted Rin, so decided to trust him once more.
* * *
Hana stayed at Samezuka for a little while longer. After she calmed down, Rin helped her out. He showed her to the bathrooms so she could tidy up. Upon looking at herself in the mirror, Hana bit her lip. She really was a mess: her hair and just about fallen out of its bun and was horribly windswept and knotty, her eyes her red and puffy, and her tears tear-stained.
Hana moved as quickly as she could. She splashed cold water on her face and took her hair out of its bun. There was no hairbrush, so she combed through her thick hair as best she could with her fingers, wincing whenever she caught a knot. Not for the first time did she curse her thick hair.
It took a while, but eventually she was presentable once again. Hana smoothed down her yukata and, feeling slightly better since the night's earlier events, walked back out to meet the other two so she could head back home.
Rin, with Sousuke in tow, went with Hana to her house later that night. Hana was grateful, though felt like an annoyance more than anything. She knew Rin and Sousuke would rather be heading back to their own homes instead of making sure she got back safely, but a part of her was relieved. Being around her friends, talking to them and laughing, made her briefly forget about her fight and possible break up with Haru.
It didn't take too long for them to arrive at her house. Hana quickly hugged Rin on the doorstep and buried her face in his chest. She didn't know how she could've made it through the night without him. He'd squeezed her back, and once again promised that he'd take care of things with Haru. She and Sousuke exchanged a quick but friendly goodbye before she headed indoors.
Her mother was on her in an instant, demanding to know where she'd been. Hana tiredly made the excuse that they'd all lost track of time since they'd been having so much fun together. Hana caught a suspicious look to her mother's eye, but fortunately Mae didn't press matters and sent her daughter straight to bed.
As soon as she was in the confines of her room, Hana stripped her yukata off hastily and changed into her pyjamas. She felt drained, and couldn't even be bothered brushing her teeth before she collapsed into her bed.
Staring blankly at the ceiling, Hana recalled the last time she'd gone out to a festival with her friends last year. Her heart ached recalling how amusing it had been trying to keep Haru from seeing Rin, how she and Haru had talked, how he'd called her beautiful for the first time. She'd been reluctant to change out of her yukata that night, a drastic change compared to how eager she'd been to strip hers off tonight.
Hana sighed and rolled onto her side. An emptiness was consuming her as she recalled the previous year. She'd go back to that last year in a heartbeat, but faltered upon realising she'd have to endure this past week again.
I just want Haru to be alright. Hana curled into a tight ball and closed her eyes, begging for sleep to come soon that night. Is that too much to ask for?
The next day, Hana awoke to a cold dread in her stomach. She swallowed upon realising she'd have to face Haru that day. She didn't know how to act around him. As usual? Avoid him like the plague?
For a moment, Hana was tempted to stay in bed and fake sick. But her mother would never allow that. Scolding herself for being so weak and easily backing down, Hana stumbled out of bed and proceeded to get ready for the day.
And when she finally arrived at school, Haru wasn't there.
Okay. He'll appear later then. The butterflies still in her stomach, Hana went to her usual seat and sat herself down and stared straight ahead at the whiteboard, not acknowledging anyone else around her. When Miss Amakata arrived to start homeroom, Haru still hadn't arrived. Makoto slipped in at last minute, but Haru wasn't with him. Hana allowed herself to relax, grateful for this extra time to prepare for meeting Haru. She immersed herself in her work, even ploughing diligently through maths for the first time in her life.
By the time lunch arrived, it was clear Haru was going to be a no-show. Hana leaned against the wall of the roof with Makoto, Rei and Nagisa. She knew that sooner or later one of them was going to address the fact that Haru wasn't there, and decided to be the one to break the ice.
"Haru's not here today?" she asked, looking at Makoto. "Makoto? Do you know where he is?"
Makoto nodded. "Rin took him to Australia," he said, as though it was the most normal thing in the world.
Hana choked on her drink. She started violently coughing, using the support of the wall to keep herself upright. Rei clapped her on the back, helping her recover.
Once she could breathe easily again Hana stared wide-eyes at Makoto. "What? Australia?" Rin had told her he'd had a plan, but she had never even guessed close to Australia. Wasn't that just a little extreme for Haru to get better?
Then again, Haru isn't exactly responding well to normal methods of comfort and persuasion... Hana rubbed her temple. The news had caught her completely off guard.
"Haru-chan went to Australia?!" Nagisa exclaimed, sounded as shocked as she felt.
"I don't understand," Rei murmured. "Why did Rin-san suddenly decide to go back?"
Makoto shrugged. "I did talk to Rin about the situation with Haru. But I never imagined he would take him to Australia..."
Hana glanced down, focusing on her hands. Now she was over the initial shock of Makoto's words, an emptiness was filling her. Haru was in Australia with Rin, while she was stuck in Iwatobi, helpless to do anything. She couldn't do anything to help Haru while she was stuck in Japan.
"What could he possibly be hoping to achieve?" Rei asked.
Makoto shrugged. "Who can say? I don't know that, either. But I do believe this trip will be something special for Haru.
"I hope Haru-chan will come back feeling better," Nagisa murmured.
"Excuse me," Hana murmured. She pushed herself off the wall and made her way back down the stairs, not sparing a second glance back at her friends.
She should've expected that someone would follow her. And, sure enough, there was an echo of footsteps and Makoto's voice called out to her, "Hana? What's wrong?"
Hana sighed and froze in her tracks. Her eyes remained glued to the ground, even when Makoto came to a halt beside her.
Hana didn't talk for a while. Makoto didn't probe her to speak, and just waited patiently until she was ready. Hana loved that about Makoto. He always seemed to understand when she needed that little push to start speaking, and when she needed the distance.
"What sort of girlfriend am I, Makoto?" she asked eventually, her voice barely above a whisper.
Makoto placed a hand on her shoulder. Surely it was a way to reassure her. "What do you mean?" he asked, speaking in as gentle a voice as possible.
Hana spreak her hands. "I couldn't think of a way to help Haru, and yet here Rin is, taking him to Australia! I'm grateful and all and hope Haru gets better but... it makes me feel so helpless, you know?"
And it did. It hurt Hana that no matter what she'd tried, it still hadn't been enough to help Haru. How hadn't she been able to do that? Had she not tried enough? Did she just not understand Haru as well as she thought she had?
"You're the best girlfriend Haru could ask for," Makoto said, squeezing her shoulder. "You're always looking out for him. He'll see that soon enough."
Words, meant to reassure her. But somehow, they just felt empty to her. She read them all the time in books, saw them all the time in movies, when people only wanted to lift someone else's spirits. She hit herself mentally - Makoto wouldn't say anything like that. But she just wasn't in the right frame of mind to accept it.
Hana turned her back to her friend. "Please, Makoto, I need to be alone for a while," she whispered. "I just need to do something to keep my mind off things."
There was a small hesitation, probably Makoto ready to protest, but then he relented and murmured, "Okay. Find us when you're ready." And then he left.
Now that she was truly alone, Hana grabbed her phone from her pocket. The tiny device was now her only connection to Haru, and he was overseas. Contacting him would be more expensive than what was reasonable.
But it would be worth it.
Hana opened her messages and hastily typed away a message to Haru, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she poured every ounce of emotion and heartbreak into her message. When she finished Hana stared at the message, her finger hovering above the send button. She couldn't bring herself to press it. Was Haru still mad at her? Was he still confused? Would she only make things worse by sending the message?
After a few minutes of staring blankly at the screen, Hana quickly erased the message and turned her phone off. The bell went soon after, telling them to head back to class.
He probably doesn't want to hear from me anyway, Hana thought as she made her way back to class. I mean, we had a pretty huge fight. I'm sure he'll want some distance from any of us from Iwatobi for a while. Australia will be good for him - it'll allow him some space from everything and some time to clear his head. He needs a break from everything, and that includes us.
Hana repeated this to herself as she entered class and sat herself down. She lost herself in her work again, determined to push all thoughts of Haru from her head.
Even still, her phone felt heavy in her blazer pocket for the rest of the day.
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sorry for the terrible ending. it's nearly 2 in the morning and i should probably be sleeping, yet i decided to write a little more... probably not my best idea ever :/ still, i hope you enjoy!!