I look at Anna, thinking, and then decide that I will. I decide that at this point it can't really make anything worse, no matter what I say. I mean, I don't want to explain the whole thing, in all its complicated wonderfulness, but I'll say enough that maybe she'll understand, and then not think I'm quite as strange as she probably does right now.
"Um," I say. "It's just, I wanted to, so I did. I did you. But that doesn't mean I necessarily expect anyone to do me back."
"You don't expect it?" Anna says.
I shake my head.
"Even when you do it for someone else?" she says.
I shrug.
Anna thinks. "I think that's actually more fucked up," she says. "That you don't expect it. More than the famousness thing, I mean."
"No, I just... like doing it. And I wanted to. To you."
Anna looks at me. Then kisses me. And then says, "And so do I."
"Oh," I say.
"Yeah," she says. "Asshole." She pushes me backwards, gently, onto the couch. "So let me, okay?"
I nod, and let her push me, and say, "Okay." I really don't know what else to say to that, so I just go quiet, and watch her.