Hannah
I might pass out if I don't take a breath , but who cares ?
I don't want to stop , I don't want to pull away , I just want to stay like this , letting one kiss lead to the other . His hands are on my waist , his fingers digging into my skin through the fabric , my ankle is barely propping me up and it starts hurting like ... a lot .
It still isn't enough of a reason for me to pull away ...
Great , I don't have to pull away now anyway since he did .
« You're in pain . » He says breathless , his voice a little bit hoarse .
My eyes meet his as I am still holding on to him , our faces inches apart . « I'm fine . »
He stares down at me and chuckles , then cups my cheek softly . « You're a bad liar . » I glare at him but he grins wider . « Come take a seat . »
He pulls me by my hand , but we both come to a halt when we hear noises and footsteps outside . I freeze , my pain and delight and every emotion I felt before evaporating to thin air . I clutch his hand tighter , my chest heaving and my mind racing as he looks around . In a blink , he pulls me to a gap between a book shelf and the wall , my back presses against him while his presses against the wall . There isn't much space in here , so I can feel every inch of him behind me .
Someone walks in to the library , tapping a cane against the wooden floor and stomping in angrily , thankfully whoever that is didn't bother turning on the lights , otherwise me and Kane would be in a pretty big trouble .
Not that I am any safer now , just being near him is dangerous for me , and right now he is not just near , he is so close I could smell his strong fragrance and feel his heartbeats , which are matching the erratic rhythm of mine .
« How many times do I have to tell you ? Your presence is not welcomed here . » I startle when suddenly the man who walked in taps the cane strongly in the floor , Kane grabs my hand in his and I look up at him , even in the darkness I can see his gleaming eyes boring into mine .
The door closes and someone else walks inside , probably a woman judging by the heels sounds around .
« I'm here to see my brothers . » Yes it's a woman , her voice calm and quiet but sure .
« They are not your brothers . They are my sons , my precious sons . A bastard like you can't be their sister . »
The woman chuckles . « No need for insults , Lambert . I'm not here to argue about facts , I just want to warn you that if you don't inform them about my existence I will . »
My eyes widen when the woman mentions Iker's father .
They have a sister ?
One they don't know about !
For some reason I squeeze Kane's hand tighter , his thumb grazes my hand reassuringly but the new piece of information stroke me like a fierce thunder in a dark sky .
« Do you really think they'd care ? » Mr Lambert asks with apparent contempt in his voice .
« That's up to them . But at least they will know and get a chance to decide . » She walks away with her heels echoing over the empty library , with my shallow breaths I feel like the old man might hear me . But he just stands there since we didn't hear the sound of his cane and tired footsteps yet .
I don't know for how long me and Kane are going to stay pressed together , but I could feel his discomfort and ...
Oh God no !
I try to shift in my position to press my front against him instead of my back , since that seemed to get him ... hard .
Fucking hell ! How am I supposed to live with that now ?
« That doesn't change anything . » He hisses through gritted teeth .
It apparently does not , his length is now pressed against my stomach and the worse is that it makes me all hot and sweaty , but I have to convince myself otherwise until this situation is over . Finally Mr Lambert leaves , closing the door behind him .
I wait two seconds before darting out from between Kane and the bookshelf , wincing as my ankle hurts with each step before I lean into the canopy , taking in a deep inhale of breaths . He follows suit , staring at the door from where the old man disappeared .
He is probably still thinking about the conversation to which we eavesdropped just earlier . I am thinking about it too , because I am not sure how Iker would react to that .
Darkness is where dark truths rise , I just wish I wasn't here to hear it . I feel guilty for knowing such a secret and hiding it .
« This should not get out of here . »
I look at him and raise and eyebrow . « A lot of this happened here , you should be more specific . »
He stalks towards me and I can't help the blush creeping up my neck at the reminder of his erection pressed against me earlier . So I look away , like the coward I become in his presence . I take a seat on the canopy and glance my small boots .
Thankfully I didn't listen to Paget , a pair of leather boots wouldn't have been as invisible as these ones .
« All that happened here should stay here , especially ... Mr Lambert's conversation ... »
« You knew ? » I look up at him suspiciously . He is close with Ellie and if by some chance she's aware of this matter , she might have told him . But he shakes his head .
« This is news to me too ... but I mean it , you can't tell your boyfriend about this . »
I roll my eyes and look at my foot as I rub it . « Weird how you still have the audacity to state that he's my boyfriend a few minutes after making out with me . »
He raises his eyebrows and smirks , taking one more step near me . « Try all you can , nothing can make me feel guilty about it . »
I hold his gaze for a beat , then grab my boots to wear them . He kneels before me and takes them , my lips part in surprise and confusion .
« Allow me . »
I reach out for them . « I can manage . »
« Let me be a gentleman and do it . » I'm not sure if he glares at me or not , but a grin forces its way to the corner of my lips as I fold my arms and stare down at him .
« That's your way of seducing me ? »
He helps me wear my boots delicately , his hands occasionally grazing my bare legs , sending shivers down my spine . « Maybe . Is it working ? » He asks with the same tone he spoke in the day we first met in that coffee shop .
I shake my head and take the chance of him being busy with my feet and keep staring at him . « We just heard the craziest thing and that's what you're thinking of right now ? »
« You're a great distraction . »
I let out a loud laugh then clasp my hand over my mouth to stop it . His eyes meet mine , a warm smile on his face as he looks up at me . My exhale gets stuck in my throat as I suppress my breath , as if doing so can freeze time and by some miracle I will be able to stay in this moment forever .
Nothing makes me feel more cherished than his eyes do .
« He's not my boyfriend ... » I blurt out , foolishly and stupidly , dropping my hand down from my mouth.
A heavy exhale leaves him but he still looks at me skeptically . « You were holding his hand ... » A muscle tightens in his jaw , I reach my hand and run my fingers over it , softly and carefully .
« It was just to help me walk ... you see my ankle is still sprained ... » My voice is barely a whisper , but I know he heard me quite right .
« You could get a cane if it hurts that much . »
I smirk . « I think I already have , a Kane . »
We both laugh , he squeezes his eyes shut at the mention of his name , then our gazes meet again .
He was about to lean in to kiss me again when my phone rang .
Two options : Throw it against the wall or ... answer .
It's mom , I have taken long enough here .
I turn to him still holding my phone in my hand . « I need to go back out there . »
We stand up at the same time , I look up at him , not knowing what to do or say or how to act .
After this , I am not sure what we are anymore . But we are not just a teacher and student . There is more to that , and the more I felt its depths the more frightened I grow .
Those sensations are not usual for me , never have I ever been unable to do the right thing . Until I crossed path with this man , who I can't tell if he's a blessing or a curse to me yet .
« Hannah ... I know I might have been a little bit ... pushy . But ... »
Seeing him struggle to speak makes me want to laugh but I know it won't be appropriate so I stay quiet , plus he looks so adorable right now .
« Being near you , is unlike anything else I have experienced in my whole life . » I gasp sharply , my heart beats too fast and my legs are threatening to buckle on me . « I meant it when I said I can't stop , I don't want to . » He caresses my hair gently .
« We will have to be extremely careful . » I whisper .
« I know . » He replies immediately without even thinking .
« We can't get caught . »
« We won't . »
I bite my bottom lip still looking up at him , his gaze immediately shifts there . I release my lip and look down , thinking of this , of what I am about to embark in .
There will be no going back , we either float or drown .
It's selfish to accept this , it's selfish to accept it knowing all the risks but ... I just can't resist .
« Fine . That will be our dirty little secret I guess . » I say sarcastically , throwing my hands in the air .
He leans in capturing my mouth with his with a wide grin on his face .
« It's still clean . We haven't reached the dirty parts yet , not even close . »
I gape at him with wide eyes .
And the blush makes an appearance !
Thankfully it is not noticeable with the faint light here .
« I still can't believe I will have to deal with you for the rest of the year though . »
I walk past him and hear him chuckle lightly , it does things to me that laughter of his , things I didn't know were possible . I walk out but not before casting a glance at him , he was already watching me leave .
I stare at him for a beat longer before darting out of the library , feeling all giddy and ... happy ?
Although there is the Lamberts secret that isn't so secret anymore since Me and Kane found out about it, it is making me feel uncomfortable and very very guilty .
Still I wonder how Iker would take the news , finding out he has a sister he never knew about because his father kept shutting her down due to his hatred for her and his love for his sons .
Fatherhood is an overrated concept . Fathers are men . Men don't know how to love . I learnt that very long ago which is why I am not surprised Mr Lambert has a daughter he despises .
I look back at the door I came out from , Kane is still inside , probably waiting for a moment before walking out so that it won't look suspicious .
I sigh and remind myself that no matter what , I must not let my heart slip away from me , not to Kane or to any man .
There is attraction between us and we clearly like each other too much to deny it , although I am not sure what precisely me and him are now , I am sure of one thing .
It's all meant to become a memory at some point . Hopefully a good one .