Kane
Sins cannot be undone , only forgiven .
I neither seek undoing or earning forgiveness for taking what's mine .
Yes , her lips are mine , her soul is mine , her everything is fucking mine from this very moment until somebody puts a bullet in my skull or throws me off a cliff to stop me . There is no way she can belong to anyone else while I am alive , just tasting those juicy lips of hers ... it made me realise I haven't been living before , my life started the moment I saw her and I found it hard to admit it , and my life will stop without her in it .
I am very very gone .
I feast on her mouth , parting her lips let my tongue inside and deepen the kiss , she moans so lowly as if embarrassed to let the sound out so I kiss her harder , trying to make her break out of her shyness and give me her all , her noises and touches and kisses ... I bite her lips , trying to make her feel my pain anytime she was in my presence and all I was able to do is look at her. I am surprised she is kissing me back , never knew she had the tiniest bit of admiration or tolerance towards me but apparently she has more than that .
Or maybe not ...
She pulls away abruptly , shoving my chest so hard for a girl her size but I don't stumble further back . She stares up at me with wide eyes , ones mirroring a huge amount of horror and ... desire . I could see in her eyes that the same fire eating at me is reaching her too . I look at her with a heaving chest and ragged breaths , then ever so suddenly she delivers a sharp slap across my face , then she darts out of the classroom limping on her foot , yet I don't believe it still hurts her so much if she managed to get out so fast leaving me hoping it's because she has a kink for hitting people and not because she hated kissing me .
I don't want her to regret it because I certainly don't . I rub my jaw but don't move . I can't go chasing after her like this , we're at school after all .
You are her teacher .
Damn that .
People know how to say age is just a number until it's about a teacher and his student , I mean what's so different in our case ? Aren't we humans as well ? I couldn't help her infiltrating my thoughts and mind , I couldn't stop myself from hoping she was born just a few years earlier .
I admit that kissing her here wasn't my greatest idea , however I can hardly blame myself . The joy and thrill I felt from hearing her words about me , it made me realise that she is affected by me the same way I am with her which drove me over the edge of patience .
After the scene I watched of Iker throwing her on his shoulder so that she wouldn't have to walk on her injured foot , I was in a shitty mood for days . I envied him so much , I envied the fact that he can have her and nobody would blame or fault him .
I slam my fist against the desk as I take a seat and let out a heavy exhale as I pass a frustrated hand through my hair .
« Hannah ... what are you doing to me ? »
*******************
Tomorrow is Christmas .
Tonight is Ellie's birthday and she is throwing a party .
Her uncle throws her birthday party every year , showing how much he actually cares about his brother's daughter , a daughter the later chose to cut off because she didn't want to walk down the path he drew for her and be an object of sales for benefits .
I admire her bravery and courage and determination but sometimes it all seems fake . She herself seems fake and I can't fathom why .
Through the few years we've known one another , she has been there for me whenever I needed her , even when in most cases I never asked for her help , she still did . That's probably why I subdue to her request every year and crack off my shell of home to go celebrate her birthday . I am not an extrovert person who likes socialising , however when she requests my presence I just can't say no to the woman I consider a real friend who would stand by me no matter what .
I write down some notes on the recent book I am reading as I wait for the bell to ring , the students will flood the classroom soon ... and I doubt she will ever step a foot in here ever again . Why would she ? I just grabbed the girl and kissed the hell out of her , yet her taste didn't leave my lips for these past few days and all I wanted is more , I wanted to get drunk on that taste , I wanted to suffocate on the feel of her feather soft lips and I wanted to hold on to her with every fiber in my body .
The bell rings , I close the book and put my glasses down as I adjust my tie and stand up to erase the blackboard while students' blabbings started filling the silence of the place .
But when my eyes met her figure , standing up at the doorway and looking inside hesitantly , there was only void in my mind , especially when my eyes dropped to her intertwined fingers with Iker . Everything shut down in that moment . I look up at her face , a red fuming rage taking over my vision , so raw and dangerous it could poison an entire population from miles away .
Slowly her gaze slid to mine , her lips parted as she took a long inhale of breaths , but then she stood straight , her eyes piercing through mine with a sharp glare . I squeeze the eraser tightly in my hands then look away from them , averting my attention back to my task . But the image of her hand in his ... Goddamn it !
« See you after class . » Iker's voice makes the matters worse . Although I heard no reply from her I didn't turn to witness the interaction . I take several deep breaths before I turn back facing the class , Hannah is sitting in the far end of it , her seat next to Paget's who has a teasing grin on her eyes as she looks at Hannah .
The latter couldn't be anymore unbothered .
Wether it's from sitting here , or seeing me or something that boy did or said . I have no idea . But unless it's because of me I have no interest to find out .
I have never been so eager to go home and have a drink . I desperately need one . For the first time ever, I might be excited to attend a party , there would be strong expensive drinks there and I could use some .
I mean how come she kissed me , slapped me then found the time to have a fucking boyfriend and brought him under my radar , showing off that she has no interest in me ?
That little brat has yet to learn how to respect adults and I would be happy to teach her .
After all , I'm her teacher , am I not ?