Church, Bell, Caleb, Calynn and Tucker are behind a rock with bullets hitting the canyon wall behind them. Caleb and Calynn are still hugging the crying Bell.
Church: "My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?"
Tucker: "You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank."
Church: "Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?"
Caleb: "Oh, Calynn and I do."
Calynn: "And you know those tanks have a tutorial program, right?"
Church: "What? No! Why didn't you tell me?!"
Caleb: "You never asked."
Bell: "I hate this. I wanna go home." She cries.
Church: "OH, grow a pair, Bell."
Bell: "But I'm a girl." She whines.
Cut to Caboose hopping in the tank. As the canopy closes, the tank turns on.
Tank: "Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila."
Caboose: "Hello. Sheila. Big tank lady."
Sheila: "Would you like me to run the tutorial program?"
Caboose: "Oh, that'd be very nice. Thank you."
Sheila: "Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of this Scorpion class tank. Let's begin with some driving."
Caboose: "Okay."
Cut to Simmons firing the Warthog's gun with Grif on the ground behind him.
Grif: "Simmons. SIMMONS!"
Simmons stops firing and steps down.
Grif: "Man, that thing is loud."
While they talk, Sheila drives by in the background.
Simmons: "...WHAT?" He asks in a loud volume.
Grif: "Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out."
Simmons: "OKAY." He yells.
Grif: "Keep it down! Jesus. Let's go, before they figure out what's going on."
Cut to Caboose having Sheila stranded on a tall rock and turning to try to get off.
Sheila: "Now that you've mastered driving the M808V, let's move on to some of the safety features."
Caboose: "No, no, wait, go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?"
Cut to Church peeking out from the side of the rock. He turns to the other blue soldiers and whispers.
Church: "Pst, hey! They stopped firing."
Tucker: "Why are you whispering?" He asks in a normal volume.
Bell: "It's kinda weird." She says with a sniff, still holding the Caboose twins.
Church: "Um... I don't know." He says, still whispering.
Cut to Simmons and Grif standing at the foot of a cliff.
Grif: "Aw, crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way."
Simmons: "Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep?"
Sheila rolls up right behind them.
Grif: "Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long."
Sheila's turret looks at Grif, then at Simmons as they speak.
Simmons: "Well, at least that was fun."
Grif and Simmons turn simultaneously to see the tank.
Grif: "Holy CRAP. What in God's name is that thing?"
Back with blue team, they look at the vacant Warthog.
Church: "Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out."
Tucker: "No, they're not. Look, they left the jeep. They're gone."
Calynn: "But they could be hiding to draw us out, dumbass."
Bell: "I don't like this."
Tucker: "You don't like anything that tries to kill you." He says as he turns to Bell.
Bell: "For good reason!"
Caleb: "Yeah, dying's bad for your health." He says to Tucker.
Church: "Well..." He starts and everyone turns to him. "I don't know about this. It seems pretty fishy, but... Alright, screw it. Let's go get it."
Cut to Sheila's HUD. Her cross hair slowly homes in on Grif's head.
Grif: Dude, hold still. I don't think it sees us.
A tone goes off indicating target lock.
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Word Count: 652
A/N: Please leave some comments, I like reading them. And as always, I hope ye enjoy.