"Mommy, what are you doing?" Sophia looked at me with a frown on her face.
"Looking at houses for me and you."
"We have a house." She looked at me, so confused making me smile at her.
"Baby, this is nana and pops house. Mommy is getting too old to live with her parents."
"But who make food?"
"I will. Don't worry we will see nana and poppa all time." My mom came in and Sophia went right to her wrapping her arms around her legs.
"Nana, mommy looking at houses." My mom frowned at me, picking up Sophia bringing her back over to the table.
"You don't have to move out."
"I know and I love living here. It's time for me to branch out and get my own place. I can't be living at my mommy and daddies for the rest of my life. We would still visit all the time. I want to live close by though."
"If this is really what you want then we will help you. You two are more than welcome to stay as long as you need to."
"Thank you mom, but it's time for us to be on our own. It will be good for all of us."
"You're going to have to tell your dad." I nodded looking at Sophia who was curled up with my mom.
"What do you think peanut, bath time?"
"No." She pouted.
"Yea, it's just about bed time."
"I don't like bath time."
"I can give her one."
"No, I need to talk to her. Come on Sophia." I reached for her, pulling her into my arms taking her to the bathroom. I started the water and got her undressed before putting her in the tub.
"I don't want to move. I like it here."
"So do I but it's time for us to get our own house. We're not moving for a while okay." She nodded and I finished washing her hair.
"Mommy."
"What baby?"
"When we move, will daddy come back?" I hated questions about him, I absolutely dreaded them. Rickey, has seen her a hand full of times and the last time being last year.
"You know daddy is busy."
"We call him?"
"I'll try okay."
"I miss him."
"I know baby."
I kissed her cheek before finishing up. I got her out and quickly wrapped the towel around her before she screamed.
"Go get your jammies." She went to her room while I quickly cleaned up before going into her room. She had changed into her jammies and I went over brushing her hair.
"Can I stay with you tonight?" I smiled.
"Of course. Now go brush your teeth and go tell them goodnight."
She pulled away and went to brush her teeth while I went downstairs. My mom was in the living room watching a show.
"Where's daddy?"
"With Uncle Tommy."
"I'm going to curl up with her then I want to talk."
"Okay."
"Nana."
"Come here." She went over and jumped on my mom giving her a hug.
"Good night sweetheart. I love you."
"Love you nana." She kissed her forehead then Sophia came over to me.
"Bed time." I carried her up to my room lying down with her.
"Love you baby girl."
"Love you mommy." I kissed her forehead, playing with her hair trying to get her to sleep. I wish things were different for her, she deserves the world and I will do everything I can to give that to her. Finally, she fell asleep and I carefully pulled away from her going downstairs. My mom was still on the couch when I went to curl up with her.
"She asked about Rickey." I sighed.
"What are you going to do?"
"I will at least text him and see. I wish he never came back, I feel like it would be easier."
"Do you wish you were together?"
"Kind of for her sake. I don't think we would work together."
"You're doing so amazing with her and she will understand everything you do for her when she's older."
"I know, but it's hard. I don't think I could have done this without you guys though."
"It's more than I had when I had Elliot. It was basically just me and your dad."
"But least you had daddy."
"Yea, but it wasn't easy at all. You know I gave your brother up."
"How come?" I frowned looking at her.
"When he was three his adoptive parents died, so he was brought back into my care. That weekend I finally got both of my boy's back in my life. Those three and half years were the hardest years of my life."
"Why did you do it?"
"We didn't have any support really and your dad was working to play in the MLB. I was terrified of how things were going to go. I didn't have my mom like you and his mom didn't come around until after we got him back. I wasn't stable enough to be his mom."
"I don't think I could have done that."
"I didn't think I could either, but I just thought about him and what's best for him."
"Do you think I did the right thing?"
"I can't answer that, only you can." I nodded and she squeezed me making me sigh. I couldn't imagine my life without my daughter, she is my whole world.
"You need to go curl up with her."
"Love you mommy."
"Love you too baby girl. Everything is going to be okay. She kissed my forehead and I pulled away from her going back upstairs. I heard Sophia whimpering so I quickly went in and pulled her into my arms.
"Mommy's here, everything is okay." She had tears in her eyes and she tried pushing me away.
"Sophia." I shook her awake and she started sobbing.
"You're okay, I got you."
"Mommy."
"Sh, I'm here nothing is going to hurt you." She curled against my chest and I rubbed her back trying to sooth her. The door opened and my mom was frowning at us.
"She okay?"
"She had a bad dream."
"Mommy."
"I got you."
I kissed her forehead while she calmed down more.
"Want to tell us about your dream?"
"You leave me like daddy." Tears filled my eyes as I turned to look at her.
"I would never do that, you're my best friend. It was just a dream baby, I'm not going anywhere without you."
"Promise."
"Promise." I kissed her forehead bringing her back to me.
"I love you so much baby girl."
"Love you mommy."
My mom had left and I turned curling up with Sophia. She held onto me as if I was going to let her go but I never would.
***
I woke up to Sophia poking me.
"Wake up mommy."
"I'm up baby."
"Food."
"Let's go get some breakfast."
I got up and pulled her onto my hip carrying her downstairs.
"Go give nana hugs."
I set her down and she hugged my mom's legs before running back into my arms.
"Sophia, come help me get your plate ready."
"Mommy." Her arms wrapped around my neck and I wrapped an arm around her.
"I'm not going anywhere." I kissed the side of her head, while my mom set the plates down.
"Thank you." She turned around and we ate.
"Go watch your show. I have to go get ready."
She let me go and I ran upstairs and got ready for class. I went downstairs so I could give Sophia her kisses and hugs.
"Come here, I have to go to school."
"No, don't go."
She came running over to me latching onto me.
"Stay with me."
"I have to go to class, I can't stay. I won't be long okay."
"Mommy."
She was sobbing against me and I don't know what to do.
"You're going to be with nana, everything is going to be okay."
"I don't want you to go."
"Baby I have to. I will be back soon then we can go to the park okay."
"Stay." She sure knows how to break her momma's heart.
"Sophia, your mom will be home soon. Come watch a movie, so the time will go faster till your mom gets home."
"I love you, I will text you okay."
"I love you mommy." I wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead.
"I will be back I promise." I pulled away but she wouldn't let go.
"Sophia, I'm going to be late."
"What is going on?"
"Go see poppa."
She pulled away and she went to go see him, while I quietly left. I wish I could have stayed with her but I had to go to class. I pulled up late, so I had to rush inside. There was seat open in the back luckily enough. I sat down and quickly got my notebook out writing down the notes. Class was over and I quickly grabbed my bag.
"Do you want my notes?" I turned to Colin smiled.
"Thank you Colin, you're the best."
"So what made you late?"
"Traffic."
My phone went off and I saw my mom calling.
"Hello."
"Mommy."
"Yea and I will be home soon okay."
"Okay."
"Love you."
"Love you too." I hung up and found Colin still standing there.
"Everything okay?"
"Yea."
"Um, I was wondering if you were doing anything Friday night?"
"Oh um I don't know."
"Think about it." I nodded and he smiled at me before walking away. I liked Colin, he was good guy but who knows how he's going to react when he finds out I have a daughter. I walked down the hall looking at my phone before I ran into someone.
"Sorry."
"McKenna?"
"Rickey, what are you doing here?"
"I go here."
"I didn't know that. Anyways I wanted to talk to you."
"About?"
"Sophia wants to see you. I told her you're busy."
"I'll think about it."
"You're a dad start acting like one. You know she woke up screaming because she thought I would leave her like you did. I was late because she wouldn't let me go, breaking my heart in the process. I wish you never came into her life this would have been so much easier on us." I hissed.
"You know you're so damn confusing. One minute you want me there and the next you don't." He hissed back.
"Because she knows who you are and asked about you. It's hard to come up with an excuse, when you're just a piece of shit. I gave you the opportunity and you don't take it seriously."
"I'm sick of this."
"Me too."
He punched a wall and I just walked past him going home to our daughter. She was the only one that could help me really relax besides my mom. I quickly made my way home so I could curl up with her.
"Mommy."
"Come here baby." She came running into my arms and I held her tight.
"Bad day?" I nodded at my mom bringing Sophia over to the couch.
"What happened?"
"Had a run in with Rickey."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"We'll talk about it later. Your dad and I are going out to dinner tonight."
"Okay, I think we're going to go over to Sean's and Elliot's."
"Sydney." Sophia perked up.
"Yea." I kissed her forehead and she just curled up to me.
"Come on let's go get you dressed so we can go."
I took her upstairs into her room getting her ready for the day.
"Mommy pretty."
"Yea baby, pretty."
"Go now."
"Go say bye to nana."
She ran downstairs and I followed her to say goodbye to my mom. We finally left and headed over to my brother's house.
"Here?"
Yea."
I got her out and knocked on the door.
"Heyyy." Sean smiled.
"Hey."
"Sean!"
"Come here munchkin." She reached for her and gave her a hug.
"Where's my niece?"
"She should be getting up any minute now."
We went in the living room and Sophia went to play with the toys.
"How's the little one?"
"Doing good can't wait to find out the gender."
"I miss it."
"You'll get your chance again."
"I don't know. No one's going to want me with a baby."
"Stop it, you're a hot momma."
"I got asked out today,"
"Shut up, what did you say?"
"I said I'd think about it."
"Oh come on, you have to say yes."
"What about?"
"Don't you dare use her as an excuse? Elliot and I can take her for the night and you can go out."
"I don't know if she will go for that though. She had a dream that I was going to leave her, so she's been attached to me."
"You guys will be fine. You need to do this for you. Enjoy being a twenty year old for a night."
"He's just going to leave when he finds out."
"Then he wasn't right for you, but at least try."
"Fine, but I need to talk to Sophia about it."
"Who's the mom?"
"Me, but she needs to know I won't leave her."
"Sophia come here." She smirked at me while Sophia came over and sat in the middle of us.
"What do you think about staying with me and Uncle Elliot Friday night?"
"But what about mommy?"
"Mommy would drop you off and see you when you wake up."
She turned and crawled into my arms.
"You tuck me in?"
"Aunt Sean will tuck you in."
"No."
"What about nana?"
"No you."
"See this is why."
"Oh your still going, we'll figure it out." I sighed and just held Sophia thinking about Friday. We stayed for a little longer, and then went to McDonalds before heading home. I got out and got her out going inside.
"Wash your hands."
We went in the kitchen and we washed our hands. I got the ketchup and ranch out before sitting next to her.
"Why won't you let Nana or Aunt Sean tuck you in?"
"I want you."
"Mommy has a date though."
"Me go."
"No baby, you're too little."
"You leave me."
"Sophia, I would never leave you okay. I love you so much, you are my whole world."
The doorbell went off and I sighed going over to the door with Sophia holding my hand. I was shocked to see Rickey on the other side of the door.
"Daddy."
"Hi baby girl."