Rising the next morning, sunlight filtering in through the heavy curtains, painting portraits over embedded muscle, dancing over rising chest and flowing through separated fingers. Jessies phone had been bussing for near an hour, vibrating against the Ikea table, the cork filled board vibrating along with it. Shielding her eyes as she rolled over, Vanessa's strong shoulder blocking most of it, her hand thrown lackadaisical over her hip.
Pulling her phone into her field of view watching as the notifications continued to pour through. All of them from her teammates in one way or another. A new group chat had been created asking her to join them for brunch the coming day, everyone bickering back and fourth whether someone should host it or to reserve a backroom at a local joint to handle their large group. Magda had reached out on her own, asking how she was feeling after the game, it was sent just over an hour ago. The text that followed asked if she needed them to stop by, how her apartment looked. She responded to Magda first. typing a short response. ' The game was great, I feel good,' blushing slightly as she typed out the message. Vanessa shifting next to her moving to press her body against the fellow countrymen. 'My apartments in good shape, I'm good.' Tapping send before opening her other messages. The group chat titled "Outing?" was still dinging with new notifications, side swiping the chat and setting it to mute.
Sure she had made the turn for the better, the rage leaving her mind. A commitment of brunch with her teammates on their one off day of the week sounded like prime conditions to reignite the flame. It was a thin line to teeter, between balancing the new relationship and repairing all the bridges she burned.
Vanessa had muttered once under the coverage of the moon. When they could be themselves under the harsh shadowing and sparsely populated streets "There's a learning curve among the land of the living." She had meant it as a joke. A way to cover up the jokes that didn't land quite right, or the gesture that the veterans found unprofessional. It had become a joke between the two of them. A joke that hadn't been brough up since before Tokyo- before the pandemic. everyone locked in their homes, confined to their yards and screens. Long, lonely nights, and dragging days that all resembled the last. A time when even the motto "Same shit; different shirt." Didn't ring true. It was the same shit in the same shirt from three nights back, the same sweats worn throughout the week. Weeks between loads of laundry rather than days.
A learning curve amongst the land of the living. Jessie thought back on it. Everything was still different after Tokyo. Its been over a year and the sting remained the same. Sure Vanessa had eased her worries. Having been stuck in the same state since the gold medal match. The world kept spinning, people kept living, and yet nether of them could progress- mentally. Jessie had burned every bridge imaginable, Sinc not reaching out after a loss, Chapman stopped posting childish remarks under Instagram post, the team had seemed to shatter under her anger.
The locker room in England suffering the same fate. Magda being the only one rebuilding the bridge that Jessie tried so hard to torch. When asked about it she joked that it was easier than building a boat. A comment uttered in frail light as Pernille held her after a particularly bad loss. Everyone but the couple were content with Jessie's need to torch the whole town, light one match and watch it burn like a true arsonist.
A learning curve amongst the land of the living. A need to fit in to society, to dawn the corporate mask of "I'm fine's" and thin lipped smiles. The need to just get through today and then the next day and the next until the sun doesn't come up and people gather around a pine box, remarking you as a friend, a child, a parent, your accomplishments whether job or pleasure related. It was curve Jessie didn't want to learn. She didn't want to say what everyone wanted to hear yet through years of scolding by her mother to be lady like, and months of her media training she succumb to the mask, pulling it over her had, securing it around her ears. Just like Covid making everyone revert into shells of people, breaking down communities and a friend groups. Zoom calls didn't do it justice. The small wooden fence surrounding her back yard left her feeling like a prisoner to the sport.
Vanessa woke when the doorbell sounded through the apartment. The knocker on the door ringing through the sparsely decorated apartment, a feat she said would get done at a later date. "I'll get Van, Don't get up." Jessie whispered as Vanessa rolled back over, blanket pulled over lidded eyes. Climbing from the sheets shucking on old kit shorts from her college days and a worn out team Canada shirt from her first unders World Cup. Raking bony fingers though the unruly mane she stalked through her apartment, who ever was at the door hadn't stopped using the brass knocker located in the middle of the thick door. "I'm coming." She muttered in a futile attempt to stop the knocking.
Flicking the lock open, pulling the door she saw Magda with her knuckles raised, sleep prevalent in her features, large purple circles under her eyes, three lines above her eyebrows. "You're awake." Muttering as she took a step forward, invading Jessie's safe haven. Taking a step back, letting Magda invade. "Uh... yeah. Why are you here?" Questioning genuinely, puzzled by the visitor at the early morning hour.
Slipping her shoes from socked feet. "I haven't spent much time with my favorite Canadian. Figured she could use a visit." Emptying her pockets on the hall table, placing the items into the wooden bowl. Jessie's mother had bought it in a futile attempt to help Jessie to remember where her valuables are. Most days Jessie forgot the bowl existed- except for days like today when other people made her aware.
Taking the comment in stride. "I'm good. I texted you back." Magda nodded trying to figure out her next move. Jessie to her was like a cat. Just about everything had to be on her terms or at least made to seem like she had control or else she would run from it. "Well I saw your response, but I was already awake and Pernille is a light sleeper so I didn't want to wake her." It was a lie. Pernille was always the first to rise. A quirk she had started under the ruse of making coffee to avoid Magda kicking her out after they hooked up. Magda strolls into the kitchen leaving Jessie more confused at the door. Rifling through her cabinets she was shocked to see them stocked full of coffee and sugar, crisps and protein bars. Canisters of oatmeal and sugary cereal.
Jessie met her on the other side of the counter, watching aimlessly as Magda moved around the kitchen filling the coffee pot and pressing the start button. The bedroom door opened with a creak pulling both of their gazes. Vanessa walked from the door clad in only a shirt- Jessies shirt that wasn't long enough to cover the close cropped curls, hand rubbing away the sleep in her eyes. "oh... ummm... I didn't realize you had guest. I must be going now." Magda murmured moving quickly to the door. The foreign voice pulling Vanessa's attention upwards. Remembering what she was garbed in she quickly retreated back to the room. Embarrassment plaguing her mind.
Against her better judgement Jessie calls out to her. "No, Magda please stay." The swede's hand on the knob, shoes in her left hand. Dropping her right hand she turned slightly. Nodding once, placing the shoes back into their previous spot. Trying to find anything in her that resembled confidence before stalking back into the kitchen. "I guess I should've asked if you had company over." Magda mumbled defeatedly.
"How were you supposed to know?" Jessie offered pulling two mugs from the shelf before grasping another one. "Who is she?" Magda questioned sweetly slipping into a barstool. Jessie's eyes dart around the room trying to fond away out of this out predicament. "My teammate." Offering weakly, not wanting to expand on the topic too much. Leaving Magda to try and navigate the situation with the utmost precision. Deciding to nod, prompting Jessie to continue.
Jessie restrains herself from offering up any more information. She didn't know how Van would feel about her telling people about her- them. This was all so knew They didn't have a title yet so how would she even describe them to other people. "That's cool." Magda responds filling the growing silence. The door creaks once more. Vanessa now clad in pants and a bra as well as the shirt from before, her hair and teeth brushed, two water droplets make their way down her chin from when she washed her face. Jessie tracks the droplets. "Sorry about earlier." Vanessa offers with an unceremonious flick of her wrist, the same small smirk present. Van's ability to take things in stride was something Jessie wished to have.
Magda chuckles as Jessie cracks a smile. "Your mug is on the counter." She offers trying to regain control in this situation. Vanessa nods laying a heavy hand on Jessies' shoulder as she strolls by shameless in all endeavors. Grasping the white ceramic filled three quarters of the way with the strong brew. "How are you doing?" Vanessa offers pulling the warm mug to her lips lapping greedily at the steaming hot liquid, the coffee burning her tongue and throat in its path. "I'm doing just fine." Magda states cupping her blue mug the bruins logo covering the width of the ceramic. Jessie can only nod alone not knowing where she stood in this situation. Another learning curve in the land of the living.
Vanessa noting how jessie seems to retract into herself pulls Magda's attention not wanting any more pressure on her Canadian. Slipping into mindless conversation, the recent fixture against West Ham, how Sweden is shaping up, the seasonal changes. Magda takes the bait as Vanessa shifts her gaze to the wild copper hair. Watching as her eyes dance across the kitchen moving between Magda next to her separated by one lone barstool, drifting over to the stove where the coffee pot was situated right next to it, Before moving to where Vanessa leaned against the counter, forearms baring the brunt of her weight. A small smile coats Vanessas features as she catches her staring. A look of acknowledgement. "So are you joining us for brunch tomorrow Jess?" Magda questions looping her into the conversation.
She nodded not moving her gaze from Vanessa. Magda sensing the shift in dynamic bids her farewell. "P's up, better go met her before she comes looking for me." The pair nod not shifting their gaze. "Drive safe." Vanessa stated finally making eye contact with the Swedish international. Magda nods once more before placing the mug on the corner of the counter and hastily leaving.
It was a someone rather than a something that caused the shift in Jessie's mood. She debated on whether to report her findings to Pernille knowing she would. She could never keep a secrete from Pernille. It was a great quality but it had its downside when she tried to plan dates. Slipping her shoes on and walking out the door she opened her phone. Pernille had known where she was going, she sent a quick text about her departure and to expect her home soon. It was met with a thumbs up in response. Driving home she was happy for the youngen. Happy the world wasn't so bleak to her. She was discovering happiness and trying to navigate love even if she wouldn't slap the title on it.
When the front door clicked shut Vanessa approached her eyes lowered as she stalked towards her. "Didn't want to tell me we were having company over." Jessie hung onto the 'we' of the statement. It wasn't her flat anymore it was theirs. The calculated use of the word sent her stomach on a series of flips. "She just walked in." Jessie mumbled left hand reaching out to rest on Vanessas hip. "What do you think she's thinking about?" Jessie mumbled once more. "Does it matter?" Vanessa retorts hand coming up to stroke her cheek. "You worried about brunch tomorrow and if she'll bring it up? Us up?" Vanessa prods wanting Jessie to say something, more than a lazily thrown together sentence. "Like you used to say. Learning curve of being Human you know." Jessie stated fisting the fabric of the shirt between bony fingers.
Vanessa nodded with a knowing look. "Yeah. Just if you need to talk to me I'm always here Jess. This learning curve of being human is really more like a looping roller coaster." Jessie nodded relating to the sentiment. "I concur. Now I have training soon." Vanessa nodded. Life as a pro athlete never stopped. Practices, physio appointments, media duties they never truly stopped there was always something else to do whether for club, country, or the sake of brand partnerships.
The learning curve of being human was hard to grasp especially when you had the weight of a nation on your shoulders. Being the face of you college, club, and country was a lot at such a young age. Sinc had let it slip our before she handed over the arm band to Jess that the pressure never dwindles no matter how many caps you log.
There's a learning curve in the land of the living. One that extended past the corporate facade and the extended family encounters that teetered on the line of awkward. It was a curve and jessie was making her rounds as she grasped the concept and picked up more knowledge regarding her changing status in the land of the living as a person and a partner-maybe a partner.
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I love Pony Bradshaw so much. Also Like, Comment, Whatever the heart desires.