Khushi swiftly made her way to the wooden deck, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. While Arnav trailed behind her, his expression etched with concern.
"Khushi, wait!"
"No, Arnav ji!" she halted on her steps, facing her back to him, "I can't stay here any longer. I've to go back home."
"Khushi, I understand that -"
"No, you don't understand me, Arnav ji. You don't have any idea of the challenges and complexities I face in my life," she stated sadly as she turned to look at him, voicing out her apprehensions to him, "My parents would be deeply disappointed and angry with me if they knew there were unmarried couples sharing a room here. They certainly wouldn't have allowed me to stay here for even a minute if they knew this was what was going on behind their backs. I'm sure even Nani and Mami Ji don't know anything about Akash Ji as they would never allow this."
"Participating in this trip now makes me feel remorseful, as I have betrayed the trust placed in me by my father and Nani," she said with a stifled sob.
"Baba, stop crying first. Can we sit and talk calmly?" he asked affectionately, a frown forming on his forehead as he expressed his discomfort in witnessing her hazel eyes welling up with tears.
He gently led a quiet and apprehensive Khushi to a table furnished with two wood benches.
He sat down next to her, ready to explain his side of the story, "Khushi, even though they are my family, I can't dictate how they should live their lives. I know Nani and Mami have no idea about Akash and Payal's relationship, nor does Aman's mother know they've already taken the next step in their relationship. So, what should I do? Should I stop hanging out with my cousin and my best friend because of the decisions they make in their personal lives? As adults, they and their partners are entitled to make their own decisions, and it would be inappropriate for me or anyone here to meddle in their personal affairs. Should this matter concern Ayan, I would have stepped in to make a decision since he is a minor and also my responsibility."
"I'm trying to convey to you that you shouldn't feel guilty about Akash and Aman's personal choices. You're not doing anything wrong on this trip, so why do you feel like you've betrayed your father and Nani's trust? You're here with me, right? I'm the one responsible for you and Ayan here. Please don't be concerned about what others are doing here. Just enjoy this trip with your close friends, Khushi. Don't think too much about this," Arnav said calmly as he extended his hand to her for her to hold in agreement, "Okay?"
Khushi placed her hand on top of his, her gaze lifting to meet his. With a gaze that mirrored the turbulence within, she poured her heart out, sharing with him her deepest fear and worries, "Arnav ji, I understand that it may be easier for you to remain uninvolved and impartial in this situation. However, for me, the circumstances are different. I have always had to be cautious while choosing my friends. When I was 14 years old, I faced punishment because a friend of mine received a rose from a guy, and somehow, the whole neighbourhood, including my parents, found out. My father disapproved of my friendship with that girl and reprimanded me for it, confining me to my room for an entire day. Earlier, I used to get reprimanded and confined to my room as a form of discipline. However, if Babu Ji finds out what is happening here, he will punish me by discontinuing my education, taking me back to Lucknow, and arranging my marriage against my wishes. I am concerned about jeopardizing my academic career, Arnav ji. I have fought hard to make my dreams come true and made a commitment to my father to uphold our family's reputation before coming here. And now, I find myself in a situation where I may have to break this promise."
Arnav gazed at her intently. He understood that the unsettling thoughts occupying her mind would prevent her from fully enjoying this trip. With a soft sigh, he raised his hand to her head and patted it affectionately. "I don't want to risk your academic career either. Let's do one thing. I will return your bag to the car. We're leaving in an hour."
The moment he expressed his readiness to take her back, a sense of guilt arose within her. The fear of her father's disapproval clouded her mind, overpowering her ability to think clearly. She realized that she was causing Arnav to miss out on enjoying this weekend getaway with his family and friends solely because of her desire to return home.
She noticed his attempt to leave the bench they were sharing and promptly tightened her hold on his hand, halting his movement. "Nahi. I don't want you to leave your family and friends because of me, Arnav ji."
Arnav stared at her sternly. "So, how are you planning to get back home? You don't think I'm going to let you go by yourself, do you?"
Khushi shook her head in disagreement, indicating that she had been misunderstood by him. "No, I will remain here with you all," she said, lowering her gaze to their entwined hands. She swallowed nervously before posing her question in a hushed, apprehensive tone, "My father will not be informed of this matter, haina?"
She gazed at him with trepidation, and he yearned to pull her closer, offering a warm and reassuring embrace to alleviate the profound fear she harboured towards her father, who was unfortunately playing the role of an antagonist in her life. The more he learns about her father from her, the more he begins to develop a sense of disdain for the man.
"Nahi, Khushi!" he blinked his eyes reassuringly while grazing the back of her hand in a comforting manner, "What transpired here won't be disclosed to your father. You don't need to fear him. You're not doing anything that would compromise the reputation of your family."
He noticed her lower her gaze and demanded in a firm tone, "Look at me!" and when she did, he continued, "If you have done nothing wrong, then why should you be afraid? Do you know why I was so eager to bring you here? Because I wanted you to take a brief respite from your routine and experience the freedom of this place. I wanted to see you thoroughly enjoying this trip with your college friends. People your age are often thrilled about travelling with their friends. At this stage in their lives, all they want to do is sing, dance, party, eat good food, and embark on adventures with their friends. I want you to experience this with Lavanya and NK."
It all made perfect sense until he expressed his desire for her to enjoy the trip with Lavanya and NK rather than with him. Despite their rekindled friendship, he appears to maintain a slight distance from her. She is unsure whether this is intentional or not, but after the tumultuous phase in their relationship, which included unexpected and shocking revelations about his feelings, he has maintained a certain detachment from her and seems more inclined to encourage her interactions with others. Even now, he still wants her to hang out with NK and Lavanya even though he knows she only came on this trip because of him.
She frowned slightly, opening her mouth to speak when a voice from behind interrupted their conversation, and she was compelled to swiftly withdraw her hand from his grasp instead.
Awkwardly resting her clasped hands on her lap, she looked up to Anjali, apologising for eavesdropping the latter part of their conversation while agreeing to everything her brother said.
"Chote, please fetch some water for her," Anjali said, subtly indicating that he should leave the place to provide privacy for her conversation with Khushi.
Arnav nodded politely as he stood up from the bench and left from there. Anjali took his place and sat beside Khushi.
"Khushi, I know you think we've different lifestyles, and that makes you feel like the odd one out, right?" Anjali asked with a knowing soft smile playing on her lips.
Khushi blinked her eyes in surprise as she had not anticipated Anjali to make such a statement. She composed herself and nodded her head in agreement.
"If only you were aware of the fact that my mother and I experienced a similar situation to the one you are currently facing," Anjali sighed.
Khushi looked at her curiously, "Really?"
Anjali nodded, "Yeah. My mother was raised in a traditional and disciplined family, similar to yours, as evidenced by our Nani's behaviour. When she married, her in-laws shared similar values and expectations from her. During my childhood, I witnessed my mother being reprimanded by her mother-in-law for a minor delay in performing prayers at home. It appeared that my father's tardiness to prayers was considered acceptable due to his demanding work schedule, while my mother's responsibilities as a homemaker were deemed less significant. When our meals were not served on time, our grandmother would subtly imply that it was my mother's fault, referring to her as an unsuitable and awful wife and mother who didn't care for our family. Additionally, when my mother made an effort to dress nicely and apply makeup, they would discourage her by questioning the necessity of such actions since she would be staying at home all day. My mother would never even think of travelling by herself. She was only permitted to travel with Dad or Dadi. And yeah, she had to get permission from them to leave the house. If, by any chance, she forgot to inform them her whereabouts, me and Chote would witness our house turn into hell on that particular day."
Khushi was paying close attention to Anjali's every word. She couldn't help but feel as if the memories of her own family's experiences were being vividly recalled through Anjali's narrative.
"Chote must have told you about our parent's divorce, right?"
Khushi nodded her head, "Yes. He did."
"After our parents' separation, we moved to live with my Nani, mama, mami, and our cousin Akash. As I was growing up and being the older sibling, and of course, a girl, I began to experience certain restrictions from my family. When I first got my periods, the women in my family sternly advised me to dress modestly in order to avoid unwanted attention from men. Chote and Akash were permitted to visit their friend's home, but when it was my turn, Mama would ask me to invite my friends over to our house instead. They would never allow me to visit my friend's house alone because they were concerned that I might meet a boy there and engage in inappropriate behaviour that could spoil their reputation. Nani would get really angry whenever she caught me playing football with Chote and Akash. She would think I was doing something wrong and dragged me to the kitchen to ask my mother to teach me how to cook instead. Chote and Akash got their first phones before me. Mama told me to wait for the right time, despite the fact that I was the older sibling. I was taught the appropriate way to conduct myself in public, but I never observed my family instructing the male members of our household in the same manner," Anjali paused with a sad sigh as she looked at Khushi, whose eyes were glistening with tears. She offered a small, compassionate smile and inquired, "You relate to this, right?"
Khushi nodded her head, "I experienced similar situations as well."
"It's so infuriating, haina? I used to feel quite upset with Ma for not standing up for me during those times. I couldn't comprehend why she seemed so unable to express her feelings and fight for herself and for me. Later, I came to understand that orthodox thinking was deeply ingrained in her since childhood, and after her divorce, she felt like a burden to Mama, which is why she used to quietly accept everything they used to say to her. However, I am grateful that everything changed the moment she made the decision to begin working. Along with securing a job at a bakery due to her exceptional baking abilities, my mother gained a valuable friend who positively transformed her life, Ananya Aunty. Ananya Aunty is a remarkably strong and independent woman who, with the support of her husband and family, established a bakery. When she saw Ma looking for a job, she took a chance and hired her, even though Ma had no previous working experience. Through her guidance and encouragement, Ananya Aunty successfully changed my mother's old-fashioned way of thinking. As Ma received support from her and achieved financial independence, she discovered her voice and developed a deeper love and respect for herself. She became more confident in standing up for herself and for her kids."
"And so, Ma altered her parenting approach. She disregarded the conventional norms of raising a 'ghar ki acchi bahu' and instead prioritized my education. She fearlessly confronted the entire family to ensure that I received equal treatment and opportunities as my brothers. Her aspiration was for me to become a resilient and self-sufficient woman, capable of navigating life on my own terms. I am deeply grateful for her efforts and sacrifices, which have proven to be worthwhile," Anjali said, "So my story ends here."
Khushi smiled emotionally at her, "I'm so happy for you, Di. Your and Ratna aunty story is truly inspiring."
"Even your story can be inspiring to other girls if you want!" Anjali offered her words of encouragement as she carried on, "I have shared my story with you so that you don't feel like I don't understand your perspective. I don't want my words to come across as a mere lecture from a privileged woman who is financially independent and has a supportive family. Thus, it is easy for someone in my position to offer advice without fully comprehending the challenges of pursuing one's dreams in a conservative and strict family environment."
Khushi lowered her gaze, feeling remorseful for having labelled them, especially Arnav, as unable to comprehend her circumstances due to their distinct lifestyles.
"Khushi, at times, society makes us, women, feel guilty for actions we have not committed. They discourage our small steps towards freedom under the pretext that a 'good girl' should not take such actions," Anjali looked at her knowingly, "I noticed your reaction when you found out that Payal-Akash and Sheetal-Aman will be sharing a room. You appeared repulsed and frightened, as if you were the one in the wrong for being here. I understand your concern that your family may punish you if they discover this. However, I believe that you should not hold yourself accountable for the actions of others. Live your life, Khushi, within the boundaries you set for yourself, not based on what others do with their own lives," she said, getting to the main point she wanted Khushi to understand through this conversation.
Khushi nodded her head, understanding Anjali's words.
"Lastly, women's freedom is not solely defined by breaking free from the constraints imposed by conservative and strict families. The ability to make decisions and choices about our own lives is also a fundamental aspect of our freedom. Similarly, if Sheetal and Payal choose to share a room with their partners before marriage, regardless of whether it is considered right or wrong, we should refrain from passing judgment or looking down upon them, okay?" Anjali patted her cheek lightly.
"Ji," Khushi said, feeling guilty. She immediately hugged Anjali as tears rolled down her cheeks continuously, "I'm sorry, Di. I shouldn't have judged them or made a rash decision to go back home because of this. I was scared -"
"It's okay, Khushi. I understand what you were thinking at that moment," Anjali hugged her back, stroking her hair lovingly, "I hope our talk helped you feel better. Don't worry too much about your family, just have a blast with your friends this weekend. These are the times you'll remember and cherish later on. Don't miss out on these moments with your friends."
They remained in the embrace for a few minutes. Khushi felt a sense of relief and comfort after her conversation with Anjali. It was inspiring, and she could relate to Anjali's past experiences, which made her feel understood. She wished she could have similar conversations with her Amma, Buaji, and older sister, Meera. It could've helped her become more confident, fearless, and open-minded in life.
"Arnav ji is just like you. He even speaks in a similar manner," Khushi broke the hug, smiling slightly as she remembered Arnav giving her the same advice.
"Well, I basically raised him, so he got to be like me," Anjali said with a wink, followed by a soft chuckle.
"He's so lucky to have a sister like you," Khushi commented, truly impressed by Anjali's personality.
"I'm lucky to have a brother like him too. Even before Mom started fighting for my rights at home, Chotu always had my back. When Mama wouldn't let me go to my friends' place to play, he'd sneak me out to his friends' house. Whenever I was feeling down, he'd come over and play dolls with me. And when Nani would catch me playing football with the boys and drag me to the kitchen, he'd secretly come and take me back to play football. He even let me play with his phone when he saw I was sad because Mama bought phones for him and Akash. He promised that when he started working, he'd buy me a fancy, expensive phone," with a smile adorning her face, Anjali reminisced about the cherished moments she shared with her little brother during their childhood.
Anjali pinched Khushi's cheek to gain her attention as she seemed lost in her thoughts the moment she started to talk about Arnav, "And you're lucky to have him as your friend too. So, make the most of your time with him. He's a kind and helpful guy. If you ever need help and I'm not around, don't hesitate to talk to Chote. He'll definitely help you out, whether it's with family stuff, studies, or anything else you're dealing with. Talk to him, okay? He's a reliable and trustworthy person to turn to for support."
Despite being completely engrossed in listening to Anjali, her attention was drawn to Arnav as he approached them with a glass of water. She couldn't pinpoint whether it was the insights she had gained into his childhood relationship with his sister or simply his appealing appearance in a simple black shirt with the top two buttons undone and blue jeans that caused her heart to beat erratically.
Dhak-dhak-dhak!
She didn't realize when her hand moved to her chest in an attempt to calm her rapidly beating heart. She lowered her eyelashes, shyly concealing her hazel eyes - which had been shamelessly drooling over him just moments before - from his view. She couldn't help but question herself, "Hayye Rabba.. ye mere saath kya ho raha hai? (Oh my God.. what's happening to me?)"
Hua Hai Tujhe Jo Bhi Jo Bhi Mujhe Bhi Is Paar Hua
Whatever has happened to You, It happened to me also in this end
To Kyun Na Main Bhi Keh Doon Keh Doon
Then why shouldn't I also say it
Hua Mujhe Bhi Pyaar Hua
That I've also fallen in love
Noticing Khushi avoiding eye contact, Arnav looked at his sister with concern, demanding clarification, "What happened, Di? Did you say something to her? Was she crying?"
"Why would I make her cry? We had a really good conversation, okay!" Anjali pouted, looking up at him offended at the accusation look he threw at her.
"Could you please explain why she is hiding her face from me then? I am aware that her cheeks turn red when she cries," Arnav frowned slightly, not convinced as he glanced at Khushi again. His heart ached deeply upon witnessing this sight of her.
"Chote, chill out! Yeah, she was crying, but everything's cool now," Anjali looked at her brother incredulously, now she was witnessing Khushi's effect on him firsthand, "Now she'll stay back here with us and enjoy this getaway to the fullest, haina Khushi?"
Khushi promptly intervened to clarify the situation, "Di is saying right, Arnav ji. Don't worry, I am feeling much better now."
Anjali playfully smacked Arnav's thigh, causing a small amount of water to spill from his glass and dampen his jeans. She gave him a mock glare and asked, "Are you convinced now? You guys don't understand women at all. We often get emotional during heartfelt conversations!"
Khushi felt quite embarrassed. Yes, her cheeks and nose do turn red when she cries, but this time, her cheeks reddened due to another reason, and luckily for her, the Raizada siblings were completely oblivious to it.
"Di! Look what you did to my pants.. it looks like I pissed my pants now," Arnav grumbled, trying to wipe his pants with his hand as he handed the glass to Khushi. She quietly took the glass from him, silently laughing at his state.
Anjali laughed mockingly, "That's what you get for suspecting me."
Arnav shook his head at her. Finally relieved that the situation was not as serious as he had initially feared, he inquired with curiosity, "What were you talking about when I left?"
"It's a secret!"
"The same thing we were talking about, Arnav ji!"
Arnav smirked as they both answered simultaneously. Fortunately for him, one of them blurted out what was supposed to be a secret.
"Khushi! You weren't supposed to tell him that. It was our secret!"
Khushi bit her tongue and immediately apologized, "I am sorry, Di! But Arnav ji and I promised to never lie to each other."
Bholi bhali gudiya. Arnav thought, smiling at her.
"Fine!" Anjali faked anger even though she smiled inwardly, finding them cute, "You stay with your bestie. I'm gonna go check on Amaya."
When Anjali left, Arnav looked at Khushi, and her face fell because she thought Anjali was mad at her. Arnav smiled, "She's teasing you, Khushi!"
She smiled a little, relieved.
"Sab theek hai na? (Is everything alright?)," he asked again to confirm, "You're comfortable, na?"
Khushi nodded her head, blinking reassuringly, "Haan, Arnav ji. Sab theek hai.. bas Babu ji ka darr hai (I only fear my Dad)."
"We will deal with your tough father later. I promise you that one day, he will have to say 'Ja Khushi ja.. jee le apni zindagi!'" Arnav spoke with a touch of drama, making her smile at him. Her heart held a hopeful wish that his words would one day become a reality.
"Just enjoy the moment for now!" he added after his brief melting for her smile moment, "Let's start with a running racing competition. Whoever gets the door first wins!"
He invited her to the imaginary starting line, and Khushi followed him with a smile, finding amusement in their playful actions.
"Are you ready?" he inquired.
"Yes, I am!" she replied enthusiastically.
He began the countdown with excitement, "Alright then... 3...2...1!"
They started sprinting with the enthusiasm of two ecstatic kids picturing their most-loved candy ahead. Arnav was confident in his ability to win the friendly competition, but he was pleasantly surprised when Khushi managed to surpass him and reach the door first, claiming victory in the running challenge.
"Wow! This is unbelievable," he looked at her impressed as he followed her behind, slowing his steps, his tone gracefully accepting defeat, "How did you manage to beat me? You ran so fast. Too good, yaar!"
Khushi beamed with delight, relishing her triumph. She shared, "I used to engage in running competitions with my sister in our neighbourhood whenever my father would leave for the shop."
"Well, it's not easy to win from me in running competitions. Manna padega.. tussi great ho ji (I've to admit.. you're great)," Arnav expressed his admiration, happily surprised.
Khushi smiled, blushing now, "Thank you, Arnav ji!"
He entered the house after her and said in a playful manner, "We should have another running competition, if you don't mind. I'm curious to know if this win was a result of your skill or just a stroke of luck."
"Done," she consented, chuckling at the amusingly suspicious glances he was casting in her direction.
*****************************************
Sometime later..
It had been two hours since everyone had retired to their respective rooms for a well-deserved rest after the tiring road trip. Arnav was abruptly awakened from his sleep by an urgent need to use the restroom. Unfortunately, he was unable to return to sleep and decided to go downstairs to get some water.
As he entered the kitchen, his attention was drawn to the melodious and babyish laughter that filled the air. His eyes curiously followed the direction of the sounds, and he found Khushi and Amaya laughing heartily while watching NK perform some amusing dance steps for them.
Upon noticing him, NK ceased dancing with embarrassment and smiled sheepishly.
"Hey," Arnav greeted them awkwardly as an unexpected silence filled the air upon his entrance. Everyone tried to appear composed. "Sorry to disturb you guys. I just came to get some water," He managed a strained smile, clearly affected by seeing Khushi laughing so freely with NK. It was a rare sight to see her laughing wholeheartedly, and NK had somehow managed to achieve that.
"Mamu.. NK uncle was doing shivalli (srivalli) step!" Amaya, seated at the kitchen counter, excitedly pointed at NK, "Do it again, uncle.. show it to my Mamu!"
Arnav turned his attention to NK, and he stood waiting for NK to perform on the srivalli hook step while his mind mocked him, "Learn from NK how to make her laugh too," he chided himself internally, "What the.. Arnav, shut up!"
Khushi laughed hard, clutching her stomach, unable to control herself, observing NK's Pushpa-like demeanour during his dance performance, unaware of the burning smell of jealousy, permeating the kitchen atmosphere.