Not dating!!
fluff + and a little angst
A/N: Also guys I know Bobby isn't supposed to exist during the bunker era but I like to pretend he always exists so that's why he is always mentioned even though a lot of my oneshots include the bunker :)
Sam's pov:
Nobody was awake yet. I mean it was only 7:00 and it was our day off, so I can't blame them. I've always been an early riser, but Y/n and Dean, not so much. I set up a cup with a spoon in it on the counter for Y/n when she does wake up. It's not much, but it makes me smile, watching her walk into the kitchen with the cup waiting for her, or maybe I'm the one waiting for her. She always grins seeing it.
I smiled softly when I saw her walk through the archway and into the bunkers kitchen. She looked exhausted, "Late night?" I asked. "Mhm, I was doing some research on our next case," she said plainly, her eyes heavy from sleepiness. I looked to her, confused.
"Case? I didn't realize we had another case," I said as she poured boiled water into her mug. "Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you and Dean. Bobby called me last night about some murders he thought could be up our alley," she came and sat next to me. At the table, the four of us all had our assigned y/n's was next to mine, lucky me, I guess.
"Oh, alright, are we leaving today?" she nodded, finally taking a sip of the coffee she had just made. A look of relief washed over her, I studied her features for a moment. Up close, you could see her e/c eyes, to anybody else they would be deemed as boring. To me, though, they were windows into what she was feeling. She liked to hide how she was feeling, I like to think I can see through it.
"I figured when Dean wakes up, we can leave around then. He'll need some time to get ready, but knowing him, he'll be done quickly." Her morning voice was slowly disappearing now that she's been up for a little while.
"Morning," Dean announced shortly. "Hey Dean, there's a case I think we should check out today," Y/n chimed in. "And my day off is out the window!" Dean said sarcastically, and me and Y/n both rolled our eyes. "Yeah, yeah, too bad." She teased. Y/n always seemed to tease Dean, I don't know if it's because she likes him or if it's because she knows he likes her. Either way, it made me feel sick.
"Whatever, come on, go get your stuff, we'll leave in a half hour," Dean smiled at her, "Okay!" she seemed proud to have found her own case. I know she sometimes feels like a tag along because Dean and I have hunted longer than her. So, when she does feel like she contributed, she always feels proud.
"She's happy this morning," Dean said, sitting across from me. "Yeah, she's happy about finding a case, I think," I responded without looking up from my computer. I could feel Dean eyeing me with suspicion. It's not like I want to resent my brother. It's just that I have never been the first choice. I'd never admit it, but it made me jealous. Jealous of the fact that every one of our friends, family members, and even Y/n would choose him over me when it came down to it. I don't blame them, between the demon blood and that I am destined to be the vessel for the fucking devil. I wouldn't choose or trust me either.
In the car I sat in the passenger seat, Dean was driving, and Y/n was in the backseat just like always. We left later than we had intended because Dean couldn't find his keys and was having a tantrum about, of course y/n was there to comfort him, she was practically fawning over him the entire time.
'How much longer," I heard her complain from the backseat. "A good few hours, probably six." Dean responded. His voice was tired and the sun was setting. I was really pretty to be honest, all the different colors throughout the sky. Dean started to pull over, "What are you doing?" I turned to him. "I can't drive, I'm to tired. You okay to drive while I get a little shut eye?" Dean letting me drive his car? I'd never heard of it. "Yeah sure.." "Y/n get out, you take the passenger seat so I can sleep." She rolled her eyes and then got out of the car.
Before I knew it we were back on the road. The car was silent apart from Deans soft snoring in the background, so I turned the radio up just a little. Hotel California by the Eagles quietly played in as I focused on the road. It was the most peace I felt in a while if I'm being honest. It wasn't a feeling I was used to, but it felt nice.
The feeling was interrupted by the feeling of being watched instead. I glanced to the right, Y/n's e/c eyes were staring back at me. Her eyes looked big and round, almost pleading for something. "What?" I chuckled, and she quickly looked away mumbling a low "nothing."
I hesitated for a moment, "You okay?" I said as I kept my eyes on the road. "Yeah don't worry Sam," she responded. "Worry? I don't worry about you," I couldn't help myself, I needed another look at her. She eyes were narrowed and her eyebrows were pinched. "Yes you do? You worry about everyone." she was so direct, it almost sounded like an insult. "Jeez, you don't need to be that honest," I said keeping it light hearted. "Yeah, whatever." Why was she mad? Did I do something?
"What are you upset now?" I asked her harshly, I didn't mean to but it just came out that way. Y/n could be so frustrating at times. "Sammy I'm fine, just shut up about it ok?" She rolled her eyes. God, I hated when she called me Sammy. Dean taught her to call me the nickname, it makes me feel like I'm twelve.
"Why won't you just tell me." I spat, "If you can't figure it out by now, then I don't have anything to tell you!" Dean jolted up, and I turned to see the regret in her eyes. But the regret wasn't for yelling at me. It was for waking up my fucking brother. "Sorry Dean I didn't mean to wake yo-" "It's all good sweetheart, I should probably take over for Sammy anyways." He cut her off, but still managed to be sweet about it. Sweetheart, kill me now.
I thought back to the small argument y/n and I had, figure out what? She tells me everything, or at least she used to. Before her and Dean got close. I pulled over and we all swapped back to our original seats. Y/n quickly fell asleep in the back seat and I started to nod off too.
"What'd Y/n say to you?" Dean asked almost sternly, like how he would talk to me when I was a kid and had done something stupid. "Nothing, she's just being pissy." I watched as Dean rolled his eyes. "Why?" I kept my voice quiet, I didn't want to wake her. "No reason."
"Will you both stop lying to me and tell me what the hell you have been so secretive about?!" I half whispered half yelled at him. I saw a flash of emotion on his face before it returned to the stone cold expression he had been wearing before. "Keeping something from you isn't lying to you," He retaliated. "It's not being honest either." I scoffed. How can they be so self obsessed, I deserve to know what's going on too. I'm just as much of a hunter as they are, even if nobody believes it. Just because I had the heart to trust someone I shouldn't have, just because I fell for Ruby's trap, that doesn't make me a monster.
"It's not my place.." he trailed off, "Dean, What is it." I demanded. "I know you feel like we don't trust you but Sammy that isn't true okay? It's just if I tell you what I know, I would be breaking Y/n's trust." I wanted to say something more but nothing escaped my mouth, "If you and Y/n are together you can tell me, it wouldn't bother me you know?" I knew my face told a different story, but if they did love one another, than they deserve each other.
Dean tilted his head at me and laughed, "What?" he asked amused. "I know you two have had a thing for a while.." Dean looked at me like I was crazy, "Dude, I see her like a little sister, that's just eugh." He exaggerated a disgusted face.
"Well than what in the hell are you two going on about?" Dean tapped the steering wheel nervously, it was a habit he picked up a while ago. "What did she say to you exactly?"
"Well, she said, if you can't figure it out by now, then I don't have anything to tell you." I feel a little guilty for not knowing what she was going on about, it clearly upset her. "For fuck sake, you are such a dumbass." There was clear frustration in his voice.
"How many years have we known y/n?" he asked me, "About four? Why?" he started to tap on the wheel again. "You've known her four years, and still you don't know?" Can't he just spit it out already.
"Figure out what Dean?!" Shit, that was louder than I wanted it to be. We both heard shuffling in the backseat and stayed quiet, I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw y/n rubbing her eyes. She stayed quiet, though. She probably heard some of me and Deans conversation...
We finally arrived in the parking lot after 10 minutes of straight silence. Dean sent me out to get us 2 rooms. As I was on my way to the front desk, I looked over my shoulder. It looked as if Y/n were arguing. At least I know Dean doesn't see her like that. It means I have a chance.
Walking back to the car, my window was open slightly, so I could hear the conversation inside. "Wether you like it or not, you are going to have to tell him how you feel eventually." Dean explained sternly. "Dean, if you say anything more to him, I'll leave." She threatened. Leave?? She would leave us, me?
"I know sammy, even if he doesn't feel the same way about you, he won't make you feel like you have to leave y/n,"
She has feelings for me.
"Dean, shut up he's right there." Her voice was a little shaky. She sounded hurt.
I opened the car door, "Cmon guys, um, we are rooms 10 and 12." I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. Even though my heart was thumping so hard, it almost hurt my chest. She wants me.
"Yeah okay," Y/n said quietly and Dean gave her a look, she just glared back at him. We all grabbed our bags and went to our separate rooms. I sat my duffle bag on the bed closest to the door, slowly working up the courage to talk to Dean.
"Hey you hungry? I saw a burger joint," "She has feelings for me, Doesn't she?" Dean looked taken aback, he didn't expect this. "Yes," he mumbled staring right at me. "How long?" He thought about what he was going to say next. ".....Since the beginning." He sighed.
"Why didn't you tell me Dean?!" I raised my voice, "I didn't know how you would react or how you would feel?!" He paused, "How do you feel?"
"I hurt people Dean, It's what I do. If I hurt her I would never forgive myself." He shook his head, "No Sam, you won't hurt her. Hell you and I are the only reason she's still here, we saved her if anything." I let his words sink in, I don't know how I feel. Dean observed from across the room, I could feel his eyes digging into me. "Sam. For fuck sake will you go and talk to her. I'm tired of the tension between you two." He chuckled to himself and I rolled my eyes.
I stood outside her door, but I couldn't knock. Every time I tried I hesitated and decided against it. Taking a deep breath I built up enough courage to knock loudly on her door. I could hear someone behind the door, on their way to open it. It's taking my all not to turn around and run. But I need to do this for y/n and for myself.
"Sam? What's wrong?" She asked concerned. She gave me a once over, probably looking for any injuries or something. When she found nothing she looked confused, and tilted her head. "Sam?" I took another deep breath before speaking. "Can we talk?" she nodded, moving to the side to let me come in.
She looked nervous, "What is it?" this time her questioning felt more harsh. "Dean told me..." I started to explain. "Oh." She looked at the floor, avoiding looking at me at all costs. I could see tears starting to swell her eyes. Was she that positive I didn't feel the same? "Y/n I,"
"No no, it's okay Sam. I know." She muttered. I walked towards her, "I just need to hear you say it, Y/n how do you feel about me?" I asked with a new found sense of courage. "We're friends Sam." She finally made eye contact with me, and her pretty e/c eyes were wide, she was giving me the same look she gave me in the impala. We were inches apart now, I didn't even realize how close I'd gotten to her. "If we are friends, then why are you looking at me like that."
I heard he breath hitch. I lifted my hands to cup her face, and leaned down. I kissed her softly, drowning everything else around me out. I could feel as the stress melted from her body, and I knew nothing else mattered right now but her.
I broke this kiss, all I could hear was her trying to catch her breath. "Was that okay?" I asked. She nodded vigorously, "Your lips are very soft," I couldn't help but laugh at that, and she glared at me for it. "Oh really?" I teased. "Yeah whatever," She rolled her eyes. "You're fucking adorable." I blurted. "Just kiss me again would you?" I leaned in and kissed her again, this time more hungrily. We explored each others mouths with more force and desperation.
Fuck this is all I've ever wanted.
A/N: I hate this, but I needed to post, and it took me FOREVER to finish. Sorry if it sucked at the end <3