Kane
Am I an idiot ?
Probably .
Do I have a problem ?
Definitely .
What's my problem ?
...
Truly and honestly I still can't figure out what the hell possessed me to say these things to Hannah that day . I'm truly grateful she didn't complain about it to anyone . Not even after the principal gave her detention for avoiding meeting him and called her mom to discuss her behavior . Which is really weird . I don't know why did she refrain from exposing me , but whatever the reason , it can't be more than pity for a foolish man like me .
She's rich , like all my students . They all see us as servants at their feet , maybe even her , only she is more tolerant of stupid mistakes than others .
Hannah kept attending my classes as if nothing happened , as if we didn't have that conversation at all , as if my words and my pathetic admission were barely a joke .
How I wish that was the case !
Otherwise I wouldn't have snapped at her for not focusing in class for a second . We're humans after all and I get that no matter how much we need to concentrate on certain things , we can't help letting our minds slipping away once in a while too . Hannah was fascinated by the snow falling down on our town . To her it might be fascinating , but to us the habitants , we know how cruel that sight can turn .
The thing that got me over the edge was no other than the way she was chewing on her pen , unaware of the affect that small gesture had on me . I kept glaring at her just to give the impression to the others that I am angry at her for not paying attention . But that wasn't the case . I was infuriated by how she could sit there , look so adorable and act nonchalant while my heart jumps at the mention of her name .
Which is why I had to get her out of my class at all costs , so I started acting like a jerk and looked for any reason to send her out of my class for the last few days , earning a glare or a confused look from her , depends on her mood . And since her mood is almost always grumpy , I mostly get a glare .
Today again, here we are in a new day . Hannah , being the stubborn girl she is , has started sitting front row , participating more often in class and never letting her mind focus on anything but the lessons . I will never admit it out loud , but having her this close makes me feel as though standing near a chimney.
The girl is trying to prove that she cares about the subject I teach . I figured much when I read her first essay . It was marvelous to say the least . Hers and Paget Baldwin's have impressed me a lot .
Quite a friend Hannah found for herself .
I won't mention Iker because he apparently is only friends with Paget but expecting more from Hannah . Just the way he scares away the other boys from around her , always trying to make her laugh , which he does a good job at , tells a lot about his true feelings for her . She seems more at ease around him and Paget , but only around them . Yes she is nice to all her classmates , but never really seems to like them , just puts up with them since they share a class together .
« Stealing is wrong but starving can be painful enough to push people to do anything they could to stop it . »
« Well , people who starve are those who can't get themselves to find a proper job to support themselves . »
I watch the back and forth between Hannah and Lily Madden . Both of them are one of my brilliant students , especially that Hannah is now trying her best to stay in my class despite all . Hannah looks back at the girl , glaring at her .
« Why is that , you think ? »
Lily shrugs , brushing her bangs behind her ears and twirling strands of her red hair in her finger . « Their laziness , probably . Or the lack of interest in putting an effort to earn ... »
« What if they were willing to put an effort but found no opportunity to prove themselves ? »
For some reason , the subject bothers Hannah a lot more than it should . It's almost as if she is taking it on a personal level .
The red haired girl gives me a strange look before averting her eyes back to Hannah .
« Still it isn't right ... »
« It isn't right to steal for appeasing your hunger or covering your shivering body after the society threw you to death and blamed you for it , is that right ? »
A very odd silence falls over the class . I watch the brunette offended student as she glares back at Lily , whose face has a red hue over her cheeks as everyone eyes her and Hannah . I clasp my hands together , adjusting my glasses together and shaking my head trying to avert their attention from this moment .
« I believe both sides have different ... »
« She hasn't answered my question , Mr Oliver . » Now she is taking it too far .
« That wasn't our subject in the first place , so I don't think she is forced ... »
« Well I believe ... »
« Interrupt me one more time and you're out . » I say with a calm edgy tone . She has surpassed her limits this time . I mean what is wrong with her suddenly ? She grits her teeth then looks down as she starts gathering her stuff .
« I thought we express ourselves here . I won't stay in a class where I am being shut down because I am speaking of an important cause . »
« Miss Floris ... » My voice raises for a pitch higher as I speak to her in a warning tone . But she doesn't look back as she heads towards the door , stomping out of the room leaving students around laughing and joking about it , making chaos out of all the situation .
If she thinks anyone is going to chase after her , she's wrong . Even with the discomfort in her face , Paget just stayed put with her lips pursed as her friend walked out of here like a blind angry bull .
We continue our class and once the bell rings , Paget Baldwin walks to my desk slowly and hesitantly . Unlike Hannah , Paget is quite ... feminine . I'm not being rude but it's the truth . Which makes my case worse since the girl literally puts no effort in her looks yet managed to make me feel all the wrong ways about her . There is something about her , something I couldn't get my hands on yet , probably because she is the most mysterious girl I have ever met .
« Mr Oliver , trust me she is just ... »
« It isn't your job to defend her , Miss Baldwin . » I say as I pretend to be busy with a book in my desk .
« No it isn't , but it's my duty as a friend . » She looks down then back at me . « Trust me , she is not a bad person . »
« Nobody said she is . » I look up at her .
Paget holds eye contact with me for a second before looking down again , arms crossed around her chest as she murmurs calmly . « Then why do you seem to hate her , Mr Oliver ? »
I try not to show any reaction as I remove my glasses and put them on the desk , leaning forward to speak . « Miss Baldwin , I get that you are worried about your friend , but it doesn't mean you can make assumptions about me based on nothing . »
« You always try to find a lame excuse to kick her out of class . » Paget says with a deep scowl as she looks up at me .
Was I that obvious with that though ? « I believe you have another class afterwards , you better hurry Miss Baldwin . »
I stand up and sign for the door . The girl nods and starts walking away with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, leaving me behind in a tornado of thoughts , slaughtering my mind with the intensity and gravity of my current position . If Paget noticed the tense situation between me and Hannah then who else did ? I sit back down rubbing my eyes together , trying to come up with a solution for all of this mess , that started out of nothing .
*****************
By the end of the last period , I walk out of my class and towards the parking lot , grabbing my bag and wearing my heavy fury coat to shield my body from the coldness of Tolom .
Before I reach the door leading down to the parking garage , a voice calling out for me startles me , I turn around and I am met by a pair of brown eyes , with wrinkles at the sides .
Hannah's mother , whom I only saw once at the Halloween party , walks towards me with a small smile , clutching a small bag while the sound of her heels echoes in the empty hallway around us .
When she reaches me , she extends a hand to me hesitantly .
« I hope you remember me , Mr Oliver . » She says as I shake her hand and nod .
I notice there is no ring in her finger , that and the lack of appearance of a man besides her or Hannah makes me wonder whether Hannah has a father or if she lost him long ago . I didn't think of it much to go look into her file but I might soon , that could be the reason why she looks so closed on herself .
« Mrs Floris . » I say with a forced smile .
She must be here for her daughter .
After Hannah left my class she went back home , which is something contradictory to the school's rules of discipline . The principal called me afterwards to discuss the matter , he himself seemed frustrated with Hannah . Although I was mad at her , I felt like I wanted to gut him out for speaking of her that way, as if she was a poisonous germ . He stated that he called her mother and that they will make a decision about Hannah's punishment based on my opinion . The principal wants her suspended for a week or so and I still have no idea if I want that . Not until I find out why she was so bothered and angry that she acted this way .
« Miss Floris , please . »
I nod .
So Hannah took her mother's last name since apparently Miss Floris isn't married . I doubt Hannah even knows who her father is if she was conceived out of marriage as I suspect .
« Pardon me for bothering you , but I am a mother and I am here for my daughter . »
« I figured . » I reply calmly . « Miss Floris has ... »
« I know my daughter is having issues adapting to this new environment . » She pauses after interrupting me . What's with that love of theirs for not allowing others to finish their sentences properly ? « And I know that she wasn't at her best behavior around you , Mr Oliver but I can assure you, Hannah is a very diligent girl . She takes her study more seriously than most of the kids her age , she just ... » The woman before me stops and sighs . « She has been through a lot . »
« It's life , Miss Floris . There isn't one of us that hasn't got his share of its callousness , yet we all cope with it . »
« I'm not saying her actions are right , all I am saying is that she deserves a chance to maybe make things right . »
I stare at her for a beat longer before finally speaking . « How ? »
She smiles , almost her daughter's same smile .
Scratch that , unfortunately Hannah's smile is too unique to have a duplicate .
« I would love to have you for dinner with us tonight , Mr Oliver . If you get to know my daughter well , perhaps you might start over on the right foot this time . »
I blink at her once before I open my mouth to speak . « I don't think ... I am sorry but I can't ... »
She is trying to make me see that Hannah is not the brat spoiled girl everyone thinks she is now , plus she too suspects I have set my eyes on her girl to make her year a living hell . I'm not that type of teachers who choose one particular student to torment just for fun , but unfortunately I am acting like one lately , especially with Hannah . I actually should accept the invitation , if only to erase any doubt she has about the matter , but I don't think being around Hannah now would be a good idea .
« Please . The principal is already eager for her suspension ... I don't want this to happen ... I don't want it to stain her good records and affect her future . Hannah was never suspended so please ... reconsider my offer ... »
I let out a heavy exhale . She sounds worried and desperate , her soft eyes nothing like the sharp ones of her daughter , her face looks tired and wrinkly , adding years to her actual age probably .
I have to stop comparing her to her daughter .
Hannah indeed has an amazing school record according to her other teachers . She is Miss Lang's favorite student , stating that Hannah would make an excellent doctor or physician one day . The girl is intelligent and serious , however she has a very bad temper . But then again she's still young and allowed to make foolish mistakes .
However I am not allowed to do so , yet here I am nodding as I follow after the short skinny woman towards her car , about to commit a very big and bad mistake yet can't do anything to stop it .