Empty. Zander's seat was empty. I thought I saw him just now. Where has he gone off to? Gladion is gone too...Could he...?
I placed my utensils down with a clatter, earning Ducan's and Wiliam's attention.
"What happened?" Ducan asked.
"Nothing. I just need to use the washroom," I lied and make my way to the door. The moment I was out of sight, I made a dash to Gladion's meeting room. Please don't say anything stupid, I prayed.
"Actually Fortis..." I heard the moment I reached outside the meeting room and I slammed the door open.
"Zander!" I warned and they turned to look at me.
"Hi, Fortis. Is there anything you need from him?" Gladion scrutinized me, clearly unhappy that I had burst in without notice.
"I...I did not see him in the dining hall and I...um..." I fumbled with my words. I'm a goner if I say anything wrong.
"Why? You're worried that he'll be skipping his meal?" Gladion guessed.
Not knowing what else to say, I grabbed onto the straw of life that Gladion had unknowningly threw out to me.
"Uhuh," I bobbed my head up and down.
"Oh, you've became such good friends already?" Gladion enquired.
"Yup, friends!" I laughed nervously and avoided Zander's bewildered gaze.
"Oh then it's okay, we were just about to discuss your training progress. I shall not delay his breakfast any longer then," Gladion revealed to my astonishment. So Zander was not planning to tell on me...
I glanced over at Zander sheepishly and he gave me a look that said 'What the hell are you doing?'
"Run along now children," Gladion dismissed us with a wave.
I need to continue this act or Gladion would sense something fishy going on. "Come on, let's go Zander!" I cheerily waved him over and he stood up with a murderous look on his face. I forced my smile in place until the door was closed behind us. Shit. What have I done?
"Since when were we friends?" Zander confronted the moment we were out of Gladion's earshot.
I gulped.
"I'm serious. What were you trying to do back there?" Zander demanded.
"I..." I stared up at him, speechless.
He deserved to know what happened. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Okay, I thought that you were going to rat on me so I did that to stop you..."
"I said that I don't need you to tell me. Which part of my words do you not understand?" he glowered.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I just don't trust you, that's all."
"Even without trust, you should've known that I won't risk it just to turn you in."
"Yup, just like how you would rather let me die than risk your own safety."
His face softened. "I..."
I raised a brow skeptically. Is he going to deny it?
"Never mind," he finished and headed towards the dining hall. I huffed and went into the dining hall after him.
Ducan looked up as Zander and I took our seats at the table. What happened? Ducan conveyed through his eyes. Nothing, I shot him a quick smile.
"When's our next training, Ducan?"
"In the afternoon after lunch. It's twice a day, before breakfast and after lunch."
"Okay. By the way, why do the others train separately from us?"
"Gladion's logic."
"He wants to make sure that I'm of a certain standard before I train with them?" I guessed.
"Something like that. He expects you to have everyone's approval before the war. No offense, but they won't acknowledge you as their leader with your current standard."
"Yeah, I get it. How much time am I left to reach that standard that Gladion wants?"
"Around a month," Ducan calculated.
"A month?" I echoed in dismay.
"Don't worry I'm sure you can do it," he added.
"You have such faith in me?"
"Yes. And put more faith in your teacher, will you?" Ducan fist-pumped his chest.
I heard a scoff and my head swung to Zander. Did he just do that? Collecting his plate of unfinished food, he stood up and dumped the leftovers before leaving the hall.
"Did something happen to him?" Ducan raised.
I shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
"You don't seem to like him," Ducan claimed.
"I don't," I corrected matter-of-factly.
"Why's that?"
I thought for awhile. Is it because of his impatience? Or arrogance? And maybe selfishness?
"I don't know," I concluded. "Are you friends with him?"
"I wouldn't call us friends," he replied. "Though I have been here for three months already."
"How did you come here? Did they search for you like how they searched for me too?"
"Not really. I was injured outside the caves and they took me in."
He was injured?
"What happened?"
"Let's just say that I did not come from a place where people value my existence." There was a faraway look in his eyes as he spoke. And also, a tinge of sorrow.
"Sorry," I mumbled, aware that I have touched on a sensitive topic.
"It's okay, you don't have to apologize."
Ducan lifted the corner of his mouth in an attempt to smile. Though, his eyes told me that he did not actually felt like doing it.
"You don't have to smile," the words left my lips before I could process them.
"Huh?" Ducan blinked in confusion.
"You don't have to force yourself to smile if you don't want to. " I looked at him seriously in the eyes. If anything, I would rather him be honest with his feelings.
There was a flicker of emotion in his eyes that I could not recognize. Our gaze were locked for more than three seconds. What's going through his mind right now? I wanted to know.
"I would think that you're interested in me if you continue to stare that intensely into my eyes," Ducan spoke suddenly.
I dropped my gaze immediately, lowering my head to hide my blazing cheeks.
"I've got to go now. See you later, Fortis."
Just like that, he was gone.
******************************
What was that? Ducan had changed the topic, didn't he? Why did he? And why am I so easily flustered? Next time, I will stand my ground and not let him flip the table on me. I hope. Come to think of it, I never knew much about him although I had acknowledged him as my friend. It's not supposed to be this way, is it? Friend are supposed to talk about their problems and hear each other out, right?
A sudden wave of guilt washed over me. I had kept many things from him. Maybe I should start sharing things about myself...but am I a friend to him? I'm not sure about that yet. He could just be a nice guy who go around helping people.
"Hey!" a voice pulled me out of my trance.
My face was just an inch away from the pillar. Phew! That was close. I looked around to search for my benefactor. William was sitting on the side of the balcony, his leg dangling through the spaces of the railings.
"Er...thank you," I uttered awkwardly.
He gazed forward with no reply.
"What are you doing here? It's pretty sunny."
Still, he continued looking forward.
Just as I thought that he would continue to ignore me and leave me talking to the air as though I was engaged in self-directed speech, he replied.
"To escape from everything."
I took my place beside him by the railings, dangling my legs through the gaps like him.
William stole a side glance at me and I gave him a tiny smile.
"Don't mind me, I just want to escape from everything for awhile too."
Both of us remained silence, overlooking everything that happened before us from above.
All the three-leaf Clovers were training in the battle courtyard, their voices carried to us by the wind as soft whispers. It felt good, observing others for a change instead of focusing on ourselves. I watched as a bird spread its wings and circled the bright blue sky freely. A sense of tranquility took over me.
"Do you come up here often?" I asked.
He gave me a small nod. "It's quiet," he added.
"Do you mind if I start coming here often too?"
"No," he answered.
I smiled at him. "Thanks."
"Whatever," he replied nonchalantly.
"How long have you been here?" I tried to keep the conversation going.
"Around three years."
"Oh, that's pretty long." It was around the time when they first found this place and they started searching for me not long after that.
I have never seen William talking to anyone else before. Is he always alone?
"Your parents...are they here too?"
He hesitated before replying. "My mum, she's not here anymore."
"Oh, where did she go?"
"She's dead."
He had on a poker face as he announced this, leaving me stupefied.
"Oh." I felt the urgent need to change the topic before I reopen his scars.
"How about your dad?" I asked quickly, hoping to redirect his focus.
His jaw hardened and a frown appeared on his forehead. Wrong move, I realized in horror.
"He doesn't even care about me," he replied in a severe tone.
"I'm..." I tried to express my thoughts but he cut me off.
"Don't even think about apologizing. I don't need your pity."
"I wasn't going to," I inserted, catching him of guard.
He waited for me to continue.
"William, would you believe me if I tell you that I have never seen my dad before? And that my mum is left alone in another world, probably grieving for her lost daughter?"
He sent me a skeptical look.
I sighed. "You have the opportunity to fix the relationship between you and your father, but I don't. Countless of times, I imagined what it would be like if my dad was around. Would he be protective over me? Would he be stern or lenient with my mistakes? What does he like and dislike? These are just some of the questions that I longed to have the answer for. But it looks to me that it would remain a clouded mystery that I would never have the answer to, which frustrates me to no end. As for my mother, she was extremely protective over me and I never know the true reason behind it. Instead, I disobeyed her and caused us to be separated. My life so far has been full of assumptions. It'll be a pathetic life story if I die here."
When I finished my piece, I caught him staring at me intently. Did I say too much that he's annoyed?
"I'm sorry for babbling about my life story. I'll leave now so you can enjoy the rest of the time up here in silence," I got to my feet carefully and made my way to the exit.
"Don't die then," William stopped me in my tracks.
"What?"
"Survive and change your pathetic life story."
"I'll try," I flashed him a small smile before leaving the balcony.