Hannah
Tolom's trees have lost their orange glow , the weather is no longer warm and welcoming , people are putting their light clothes aside to replace them with heavy cardigans and coats .
Winter is knocking on the doors with shivery hands ready to freeze us with this town . As I heard from Paget and Iker , winter here can be pretty tough , with storms and unbearable winds . Some storms have caused schools , hospitals and public places to close awaiting for it to alleviate .
Thankfully I know how cruel winter can be , especially for those with no ceiling above their heads or a shield to keep them from the coolness of the air cutting through their flesh . Yet I survived it , with no shield but my determination to out-stand every obstacle in my way , the desire to be strong for myself and for the only person I care about and trust .
Besides myself and my mom , I put my faith in nobody . I don't think I can trust anybody else in this world . Not after all that happened and all that me and mom endured . Having faith in others isn't something I am used to , it's also part of the reason why I never had a friend until now apparently , since I have two friends who don't expect me to be confining in them or spilling my secrets to them , all they want is getting me out of my bubble .
Paget and Iker have been putting a respectable effort to protect me from Selena after the Halloween party , expecting her to answer back at the way I got back at her for trying to humiliate me by tearing away my dress . However she's been eerily silent and kept her distance from us . Even though she speaks to Iker , since according to him , Paget , Selena and himself have been friends since childhood . Until something happened between the girls and ruined their friendship for good .
Iker couldn't choose sides since he grew up with them both , so he stayed neutral , no matter how hard of a task it seems .
Throughout these few weeks , I got to see that Iker is not really the boy I thought he was , I like the way he cares for both Paget or Selena – I said what I said – and how loyal he is to them . Even Paget is not the brat I thought she was , she is genuine and honest , but no matter what I can't get myself to fully let go around them . I am still the same tomboy grumpy girl they met a few months ago .
« Miss Floris ? »
His voice startles me from my thoughts . I turn my gaze from the falling snow and towards Mr Oliver who is glaring at me . I may have been distracted from his class and his explanations for a few seconds . I put down the pencil I have been chewing on for a while now and look at my glaring teacher .
« Since you find the snow outside more entertaining , perhaps you should take a break and visit the principal's office for a while . »
He says in a deep and calm tone as he keeps glaring at me . I take a deep breath and swallow , not cowering from holding his gaze . « I ... »
« Now , Miss Floris . »
I glare at him for a beat longer , then gather my stuff and leave not sparing him another glance .
I try to understand him , I really do but I always fail . Like what the hell is wrong with him ? Always mad at me , always glaring and rolling his eyes at me !
I walk to the principal's office , where I find Iker already sitting on one of the benches waiting for his turn to pay the principal a visit . I chuckle as I see him and he stands up smiling and walking towards me .
« Kane can be pretty serious sometimes it makes me want to punch him . » Iker says looking down at me. It's as if he's reading my mind right now . He calls him by his first name because , first , Iker isn't his student and second because Miss Lambert who is his cousin , always calls Mr Oliver by his name so he picked up the habit from her .
« Why are you here ? Did Mr Hines kick you out because of chewing gum again ? »
« I thought I would keep you company when Dexter texted me that Kane sent you here ... » He says with a grin .
I cross my arms and glare up at him . « You keeping eyes on me ? »
« I don't know , am I ? » He answers poking my arm playfully and making me explode with laughter before the principal interrupts us .
« Mr Lambert and Miss Floris ! Interesting . Come in young boy , then I will deal with you later . »
They disappear inside the principal's office just as the bell rang . Was it really worth it to send me here at the end of the session just because I drifted away with my thoughts a little ?
The audacity he has , ugh . I really want to strangle him !
The man in question walks towards me soon . I look in his direction to glare at him but his look scares me ... he looks so infuriated that for the first time in my life , I feel unable to maintain eye contact with someone . I look down letting my hair fall around my face like curtains shielding me from his darkened eyes .
« We need to talk . » He gritted through his teeth . I look up to see him standing in right front of me , so I stand up , gathering all my courage and confidence he managed to scatter away with his attitude and look up at him .
« Talk ? About ? »
« You transferring from my class . »
My eyes widen in disbelief and my breaths shallow as I thin my eyes trying to process his words , just as I open my mouth to speak he raises a palm stopping me .
« If you don't like the subject and don't give it much importance , I don't think you should keep assisting anymore , Miss Floris . »
« But I like it ! I didn't at first , yes , but now I like it ... »
Which is surprising since I am not into anything without numbers or molecules . But there something appealing about the subject .
And no , Mr Oliver is not the reason I started liking philosophy .
Well maybe he is , but only because he has an amazing way of explaining the concepts to his students , he compels everyone to listen carefully , he explains the theories in a realistic way , projecting philosophical notions on real life to give us a clear vision and understanding of them . I have been persistent and interested in it , I have been making researches and carefully writing my essays by also including my honest opinions and thoughts the way he requires from us , stating that philosophy is like a a fruit , if we don't peel it , we can't get a taste at it . Meaning that if we don't put our real sentiments on paper , it won't be philosophical .
That's the reason why I have no interest of exchanging the subject with pottery or public speaking or any other class .
« That's not what I see . »
« I don't think you see me at all , Mr Oliver . I am making efforts and taking the subject seriously , yet here you are asking me to leave ! »
« Don't raise your voice at me . »
« I . Am . Not . » I say looking up at him defiantly as I keep my voice down . I may have raised it for a slight second due to my growing frustration . « Does that have something to do with what happened in the coffee shop ? »
« What coffee shop , Miss Floris ? I don't recall such thing . » His voice is steady and calm , contradictory to the rage building up within me . I roll my eyes and look away , biting my lip to stop myself from saying something I might not regret but I might hate its consequences .
When I look back , I find him looking down adjusting his glasses . « Just cut it , okay ? You're upset you have to teach a girl who rejected you , aren't you ? »
Damn men and their stupid need to act all macho and tough , not helping having their pride wounded by a simple refusal . Not that I could accept him if I want to anyways since he is my teacher .
He keeps looking down at me for a beat , before his brown eyes slide to the principal's door and in a heartbeat , he pulls me by the elbow and hauls me to an empty room across from it . He closes the door and turns to me .
My eyes are wide with surprise and anger as I stare at his tall condescending figure .
« What the hell is wrong with you ? »
« That's not how you are supposed to speak to your teacher . » He cuts the distance between us in a few strides , standing tall in front of me . If he expected me to back away and cower up , he couldn't be anymore wrong . My eyes meet his as I glare up at him .
« You don't tell me how to speak . » I spit through gritted teeth . He raises a brow , surprised by my response .
« I'm telling you how not to speak . »
« You're so infuriating ! »
« Am I ? » He grabs my forearms tightly , squeezing until I could feel my skin about to bruise beneath the layers of clothes . His breaths tickle my hair and his body heat wrapping around mine in a suffocating embrace . « Have you known and seen yourself , Hannah ? You confuse me ! »
« I confuse you ? » I ask in confusion myself .
« You act as if you hate being around me and seem careless about the subject I teach so I ask you to transfer and you tell me you don't want to . What am I supposed to do with you ? »
My breaths quicken and my heart is beating so fast I can feel it in my throat and drumming in my ears . I gape at him for a while .
« I ... I am not even sure what this is about anymore ... »
« You hate being in my class because of my previous behavior in our first meeting , Hannah . It's torture for both of us . Might as well end it . »
« Why is it a torture for you ? »
He lets go , still staring at me as if I am trying to use a fire lighter to light water in a bath tub . He looks away rubbing his forehead then looks back at me .
« I have a class to teach , I have a job to keep and bills to pay . All of this is at risk because of you . » I have no clue what he's talking about , and now when he starts taking some steps towards me I immediately step back . « I can't focus in your presence . Ever since that morning , you didn't leave my mind . »
« Mr Oliver ... »
« Yes , exactly . Mr Oliver . Not Kane because you're my student and I'm your teacher , and there could be nothing more . Which is why I suggest you do us both a favor and find another class where I am not there . »
He stares at me some more before walking away , taking his fragrance with him as he stalks out of the room . That's when I realise that I have been holding my breath this entire time . I take in several I hales of breath trying to calm myself down , but all that managed to do is kick in more oxygen to my brain and making it think of the severity of my situation and therefore making me freak out more .
That still doesn't explain much about his behavior . If he is ... so attracted to me ... I guess ... then why is he always angry upon seeing me ? Why does he never acknowledge me ? Why is he always glaring at me ?
I don't care what he says . I am not changing classes , not until I find a logic between what he just said and what he does . I am not a science person for no reason , and until I find a coherent explanation to all of this , I will be attending his class regularly , regardless of his attitude .