SHE VISITED HIM EVERY NIGHT, every night he fell asleep beside her. When Spencer opened his eyes the next morning, she was gone. He hated it, he hated waking up alone. All he could think about was that one morning, that one night he fell asleep holding Elle's hand and he woke up without her anywhere in sight, but Elle was real, Delaney wasn't. She was a ghost, and he was haunted.
It was a minute before midnight, Spencer counted every second as it passed and when he rolled over on his small bed, and she was right next to him. "Hey brainiac." She touched her hands to his face, and he could feel her, he wasn't sure if he was awake or asleep, but it didn't matter because he wasn't alone. "You're back." He pulled her hand over his mouth, placing a kiss on the palm of her hand.
"I may be gone but I never left you, I will never leave you." She smiled, he wasn't sure if that was a threat or not, but he didn't mind. "Close your eyes." She spoke and he did what she told him, just like he did when she was still around. When he closed his eyes he felt his body ease up, when his eyes opened again, he wasn't in his cell anymore. There was more room in the new room he had been in, he recognized it immediately. It was the first apartment that he and Delaney had together.
Spencer wasn't in his prison uniform anymore; he was twenty again. He never thought he would feel twenty again, he walked through his bedroom door and found Delaney on their bed, a book in one hand, a cup of herbal tea in the other.
"Someone's home late," She shut her book, she was under the covers, probably getting ready for bed but the two had this unspoken rule not to fall asleep if the other wasn't home yet and she stayed up to wait for him when he had called her to tell her that he would be coming home today. "I just consulted on my first case." Spencer spoke with pride, he wasn't an agent yet, but he helped the BAU with a few cases here and there. That was how they had money to pay for the apartment, both of them having their own jobs, they worked well together. They were a well-oiled machine, where she pulled, he pushed and vice versa. Spencer and Delaney made being young and in love seem easy.
"Oh, look at you, pretty boy." She brushed her bangs out of her face, and he made his way to the bed, kicking off his shoes and pulling out the drawer beneath the bed to put his shoes away. When he pushed the drawer back, getting off his knees, he fell down beside her on the bed. "I've just had the longest two days of my life." Spencer being gone for two days was driving her insane, she needed her best friend and talking on the phone just wasn't enough, she wanted to see him, for him to be at home with her.
"I know," She put her book down, set the tea down on the ground out of fear that she would spill it. "All I could think about was coming home." Spencer admitted, she had been on his mind the entire time. He thought about her before he fell asleep, he was on the phone with her on both nights and when he had time during the day he would call her. The sound of her voice calmed him, freed him of all the stress the work provided. "Coming home to you." It wasn't really the apartment that mattered, it was the open arms that waited for him when he got there.
"You're so obsessed with me." When he looks up, she has a hint of a smile on her face, "I am." He admits again, she was right. Spencer was in love, he was stupid in love, obsessed and the thing is, she felt the same way. She had been in love with him since the first day, she didn't really think he worked at that Target. She just wanted an excuse to talk to him, that was why they worked so well, there was no imbalance in their relationship. She was just as obsessed as he was. "I've had a long day too." Delaney had her fingers in his hair, it was her way of showing her love.
The two sat up right, her head on his shoulder as she moved her legs onto his lap. They were comfortable, safe in each other's arms, they had created a home for themselves, and she was going to tell him that they needed to create more space because their family was going to grow. "Oh yeah," He placed a hand on her leg, pulling up her knee socks. That was what she was wearing the day they met, "Want to tell me about your day?" He rested his head on top of hers, he looked to the side, she was sweating, and her bangs started curling up against her forehead.
"Yeah," She smiled when she moved away from him, now sitting on his lap as he stared up at her. His eyes were so vulnerable, he had these puppy dog eyes that made her heart melt. She used her right hand to mess his hair up, "I went to the zoo," She started, she had spent majority of her day at the zoo, she spoke to the animals like they were long time friends catching up. He always said she understood animals better than she understood people.
"I saw a turtle." Her smile was bright, he couldn't help but return it. "Then I threw up near the turtle." Now that confused him, but he did remember her telling him that she had a love/hate relationship with the pet turtle she had growing up. He was worried but she just laughed it off, "You should have seen his face, he was traumatized, I was traumatized," Someone had called the paramedics on the sick girl near the turtles, and they showed up in less than five minutes.
"Oh, did you get a stomach bug?" He rested one hand on her belly, the other one was on her waist to keep her stable. He was rubbing her belly while she spoke, keeping her comfortable while she played with his hair. "I have some kind of bug." She started, eager to give him the news. She had been planning a million ways to tell him, hell she wanted to bake a cake and have it read him the news. She was so happy when the paramedics told her the news of why she couldn't stand the smell of sushi or why she felt so moody over the past few weeks. "It's a bug that will slowly transform over time." She removed her hands from his hair, waving them around as she spoke, she was big on talking with her hands.
"Is it serious?" He wondered, bending his head over to place a kiss on her belly to make her feel better. He didn't know what he would do if something happened to her, he would lose his mind. "Do the doctors have to operate?" He asked, concern painted on his face. She shook her head; he looked down at her stomach and then he looked into her eyes like he had done a million times before and he knew what was happening. "Is the bug gonna grow into some human form?" She nodded, "Like an alien that's gonna take over my body." She got closer to him, trying to spook him but he couldn't be scared away even if she chased him with a chainsaw. That was probably the happiest moment of his life, for the first time ever when he looked to the future, and he was happy with what he saw because his future was right in front of him.
"And how big is this alien right now?" He helped her lay down on her back, raising her shirt and coming in closer to her stomach. She felt his breath on her, she laughed, hair spread down beneath her while he placed small kisses on her stomach which only made her laugh louder. "A poppy seed." She pulled herself up, resting her weight on her elbows as she looked down at him. "A poppy seed." They kept track of the baby, a month later the baby was the size of a raspberry, two months later that the baby was a bell pepper, or a banana and she had started working from home.
"The Alien is trying to communicate," Delaney and Spencer had pillows on the floor of their new apartment, they needed an extra room for the baby which still didn't feel real to either of them. They didn't even have furniture in their living room yet, only two large pillows. "The Alien is a unique name." He rested his right hand on her belly, and she bit her tongue, feeling the baby's tiny feet pitter patter on her stomach. The baby was very busy in there, she said it felt like he was having a party inside her. "I want it to have character, you know?" She took in a deep breath, groaning slightly. "But I'm not having a soccer player growing inside me, they're either going to be a surfer or a hockey player." Those were the things Delaney loved, she dragged Spencer wherever she went whether it was the beach or the nearest hockey match.
"Or a chess player." Spencer leaned forward, he liked talking to the baby, he felt like whoever was in there understood him. How could he love someone so much if they haven't even been born yet? "They'll have your brains." Delaney ran her fingers through his hair, her fingertips burned up, it was like she was holding the sun in her hands. He was like her sun, kept her warm even when everything felt dark around her. "And your heart," Spencer smiled, giddy with love, "And your hair, your eyes, your smile." He used the pointer finger of his right hand to tug at the corner of her lips, making her smile. "And your brain, you're the real genius between us."
"You're just trying to get my ego rising because I'm huge now." She laughed, being pregnant was fun but not something she wanted to do for a very long time. "Next time, I'll carry the baby." She liked the idea of a next time, of their family growing over time. "Well, until then can we settle for some fish." Her cheeks were a soft shade of pink when he leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose, "A Nemo would be nice." That was the first name that popped into his head, "Or Pizza." She added shortly after.
"Pizza?"
"Taco." She had a questioning look on her face and he looked a bit confused by her name options although it made a lot of sense because she was calling their baby The Alien. He shook his head and she laughed, moving her pillow closer to his, they were face to face now. "What's wrong with Pizza and Taco?"
"What's wrong with Nemo?" What isn't wrong with Nemo, is what she thinks but doesn't say. "It's so basic." She bites on her teeth, scrunching her nose and he frowns, resting his head on her shoulder. "Do you feel super passionate about the name Nemo?" Her voice wasn't as teasing as it was before. "We can get more than one fish, name one of them Nemo and the others can be Pizza, Taco or Burger."
"Oooh, I like Burger." He pulled away and a week later they had four fishes, Burger, Pizza, Taco and Nemo. "I still hate the name." She stood on one side of the fish tank; he stood on the other end. Burger was an Angelfish, Pizza and Taco were Guppies and Nemo was obviously a clownfish. Delaney liked him the most, the name would still have to grow on her though. "We're fish parents." He placed his hand on the glass, she did the same on the other side and no matter how far apart they were, he could have sworn he was touching her. "I love them." Delaney had a smile on her lips, tapping the glass as the fish swam to her, they were drawn to her.
"I love you." He met her eyes through the glass, "You're pretty cool too, man." She answered as he worked his way around the fish tank to where she stood. "You have to say it back." She didn't say anything, tapping the tank again to get the fish's attention. She was just as easily distracted as the fish she just took in, her mind always racing from one place to the next in a matter of seconds. "Everything." She started, instead of saying it back. "I love you more than everything." She corrected herself and his gaze followed hers to the fish in front of them. "Everything."
Spencer pulled her closer to him, his head on top of hers. He closed his eyes to take in her scent, when his eyes opened again, he was all alone. He wasn't twenty anymore, he wasn't in love, and he wasn't happy. He was all alone and right now he didn't understand why he was still sober. Percy's name popped into his mind, but he knew all the guys who were dealing in the prison. If he wanted it, he could get something. Spencer could take one hit and he would see Delaney again. The last time had seen her, been with her was about ten years ago when he was first introduced to dilaudid in a small shack in the woods, when he died for the first time.
He was on his back, breathless and when he opened his eyes, he had expected to come face to face with Tobias Hankel, but he saw her. He died and she was the angel telling him to let go, she was the face that almost lured him to his death, and he wanted to follow her. He wanted to leave behind all his pain, he would be happier with her but Percy. For as long as he could remember, Percy was always the one thing that kept him alive. He had to survive, he had to get home. He would see Delaney in the next life, but in this one, his son needed him.