I feel hurt, love
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↦ Please find for this sign ꕤ for the new part. And I am sorry for all the mess and nuisance I have made. All I can say is thank you for reading.
Flash×Back
My life is everything but peaceful. First pregnancy is not at all easy, and it is almost impossible without having someone's support and care. No matter how much I pay to the maids, they can never care for me genuinely. Money can not buy everything.
It is my 5 month of pregnancy. Ever since I am pregnant, I have cut all the ties from outer world. I don't feel like doing anything other than sleeping or eating. And these are the only two activities I have been doing from past 4 months.
My wedded spouse, or the man that made me pregnant, who is the father of my baby-never came to see me even once. He did send tons of money every month and hire the maids. But did not mind visiting me once, to check upon me. I desperately want him to come, apologize and to hide me in his arms.
But he took off to US as soon as he got the paternity reports. I hate when my father gives me looks of disappointment when I visit their home, or the looks of resentment my mother gives me when I ask her pain and fatigue I feel during the nights. I just can't help but to tear up at this.
My brothers are out for business, Yeonjun is studying abroad. Basically I have no one, other than this huge empty mansion. My parents hate me because I was not able to get Jungkook's favor and now everybody points out at them about their upbringing.
I tried to call him for the upteenth time, getting the same beep sound before the call was disconnected. Just what is my fault ? Do I really deserve this loneliness ? Just one call, just one ! He can answer it with ease but still he does not.
I tried to call my in-laws but they just cut the call saying he is busy with work and can not come. I am so much pathetic and pitiful. I glance at the similar ceiling, I stare onto everyday. This gives me a certain peace, which I am not able to get from people or the world.
White ceiling, with off lights-all plain-empty, and expensive. This is a painful reminder of my current state. In the first few months of pregnancy, I tried to kill time from spending endless money. But the next month, he just sent me twice more amount. And this kills me from inside, that he thinks of me as a gold digger.
What should I do ?
.... Run away ? I can't do that.
I have no other option, other than staring at this empty ceiling, made of cement and bricks. Silently I turned on my phone, the home screen had a picture of him from our college prom. Swiping the screen, I entered my password as I was met with the sonography pictures of my little bean.
I clicked on the Instagram button, as I was scrolling through the feed a certain picture caught my attention. It was a recent campaign by the Jeon industries, they have collaborated with Calvin Klein. And the first picture that had been out was of my husband, wearing nothing but an open denim jacket and Pants. While in the very next photo, there was couple shoot of him and Jennie Kim.
Her hands were on his abs while his hand was on her thighs, while his other hand was placed around her waist. Jennie looked very frail and pretty with him. While I just look like an unsightly and non-curvy sack of potatoes.
Even her chest looks so decent, while mine looks so much like a slut. They both look like a perfect match. I clicked onto the comment section, only to find a ton of comments saying I am no match in front of her, and I should divorce him. Some of them even said that He and Jennie are in a secret relationship.
I swiped onto the next post only to find a concept film of that shoot. The clip started with him running into a dark alley, when he came across Jennie. Till the next scene they had their hands on each other. While the last photo was of a kiss. I threw the phone in shock, as I feel my breathe getting abrupt.
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The phone was long thrown to the corner of the room. As she clutched onto her chest, breathing heavily. Her hands abruptly went to the drawer of the table kept beside the bed. Taking her inhaler out, she punched a few puffs before she drank some water to calm her nerves.
After a while, she stood up from her place, walking towards the corner where she had thrown her phone. She pick it, as the picture was still on. Existing out of the app, she uninstalled Instagram from her phone. She turned in to call her great father-in-law. Something she had never done in her whole marriage period.
After a few things, the call was picked as the man from the other side spoke first. " Hello, are you fine dear ? " she took a few deep breaths before answering. " Father, I don't know if I am fine or not. Jungkook has not even visited me once since I had discovered my pregnancy. I just saw the Instagram campaign of the company and it is making me insecure- " she could not continue as she broke out in tears.
His heart clenched hearing her sobs, he did not imagine that the girl whom he had chosen for his grandson. The girl he had blessed with his own hand, was crying in front of him. " Don't cry dear. I will manage everything from now on. And don't worry about Jungkook being away, from today he will always be with you. Okay...? " he reassured her as her sobs did not stop. " Than-nk Y-o-ou Fa-ather-" she declined the call, not wanting to cry more in front of him.
He was the only person who genuinely cares for her in the Jeon Family. He called to Jungkook's personal number. Which was only distributed among the family members. After a while, the call was picked. From the background, it seemed as if he is out in club or party. The music was very loud. He frowned but still stayed on the call, " Jungkook ? " he questioned. " Yeah, grandfather. What task do you want me to do ? " his voice was rude and nonchalant, this somehow triggered the aged man. " How is y/n ? I heard you are becoming a father. " he heard the person groan from the other side. " We are happy and content in our lives. Infact she is very happy with me. " he sounded still and firm.
" Get me talk to her. " he asked in a calm voice, mirroring his actual expressions. " She is sleeping, we just went to a so called date. " and may be that was the string as it did not take him any more second to lash at him. " I hope you know, that your little friend is still under my supervision, young man. And I just had a word with your wife. You sure are a sneaky bastard, huh ! "
" Fucking stop dragging him into your threats. " he laughed at the angry voice, a smirk formed on his face. " Make her happy, and get your little secret breathe. I get a complaint from her, and your little secret suffers. Simple as that. " he laughed before cutting the call.
...
Meanwhile, Jungkook felt as if someone was pouring lava on him. Feeling the anger and rage surge into his veins, he exited the club he had come to for enjoying a bit. Getting inside the parking, he opened his car, sitting into it and slamming the door close. He drove at the highest speed at which his car could be driven. The car flew to their home. A two storey penthouse.
The guards opened the door for him, he entered inside the main doors. Parking his car aside as he rushed inside to their room. slamming the door open, he entered inside only to find her crying on her while her hands were on her belly. It will be a complete truth to say he did not feel any pity for her, he just felt extreme rage.
" What a drama queen we have here ! " he clapped mockingly stepping closer to her figure which was crouched down. He roughly picked her up, from her forearms exposing her tear filled face. " Fucking attention whore ! " he cussed at her as he shook her hard. Before holding her neck, throwing her on the bed. As a groan left her mouth.
And the next thing she saw was him removing his belt from the black pants we was wearing.
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She crawled towards the back, not looking at him still. She held her bump protectively seeing his beastly eyes, his ords had a sense of terror in them. " Why do you keep on coming into my way ? " He yelled at her. She shook her head as no. She did not want him to come near her with such temperament.
" Back off ! I will call police if you take even a step ahead. " She warned him, pointing her phone to him. He smirked as he opened the first button on his shirt. Her face turned pale, looking at his action. He opened each button one by one as he threw the shirt to his back.
He jumped on the bed, crawling towards her shivering figure. She shuddered under his cold mocking gaze. She turned to her phone, clicking on the emergency number. He chuckled seeing her look at the phone pleadingly. He catches her wrists, pinning them above her head. " Hello, How can we help you ? " the woman from the other side spoke in a mechanical voice.
" No we don't need any help. My annoying child was playing around with my phone. " the lady from the other side agreed before the line was cut and the phone was thrown to the other side, breaking it to pieces.
" What the hell is wrong with you ? You can not just barge in the room and then give me those eyes. It is freaking pathetic. " She yelled clutching the nearby lamp in her hand. " The one who is Pathetic is YOU. Who the fuck gave you the right to call that freaking old man. When will you stop this act of yours, this facade of the sweet pathetic wife, while the real you is just an Attention Whore. " He spoke in a loud voice, making her flinch. " I don't remember giving you right to label me. If you are fucking husband then freaking act like it. Husbands dont go kissing other girls, having hands all over her and she had hers on you. " She yelled back at him.
" I see. Aren't you too loud to be a pregnant woman ? " He snarled at her. " You fucking don't get to speak. And don't come at me, ready to pounce at me. Fucking do to Jennie or any other slut of yours. " Her voice was loud as she felt enraged at his audacity. " Why should I go to any other woman, I have my woman. My wife. " He smirked, as he took her right feet, massaging it slowly as he mockingly curved his lips.
" YOU ARE FUCKING DESPICABLE. " She retrieved her leg back, as he threw the lamp to tge side. Clutching her belly, she made a run towards the door. He chuckled as he picked her by her clothes. Throwing her back on the bed. His head dipped in her neck as he sucked on her flesh.
Having no option of exit, she kicked him in stomach from her knee. " You are forcing me. Doctor had told me not to strain myself. Do you want to kill the baby, motherfucker don't forget it's yours. Heck ! You had doubts on it as well. Certified Manwhore. " She threw him off the bed. Her breathing was heavy and ragged.
" I just had sex with you by mistake. What do you expect me to do after knowing your pregnancy ? Pick you in my arms and kiss your feet, that I am grateful that you are making me a Father. I simply did the thing that any man would do. " She slapped him as his face turned to the other side. She held him by his collar, before landing an another slap on his face. " Any man, huh ! Your father must have done the same with your mom. Ain't it true ? Are you really a Jeon then ? " She spat at him. " Fuck dont say a word to my mother. " He spoke in a dark voice, threatening her in silent words.
" Yeah, I know we can't say anything about your mom. But your fucking mom can say everything. She fucking humiliated me in front of her friends. Just because you motherfucker was busy sucking some other slut's face. You disgust me. You expect me to be all chaste, while you go out making out with some random hoe. Is this what your mom did — " he squeezed her jaw in a tight hold.
" I had warned you. And what if I kissed some other woman ? Yes, I kissed her and made out with her. I will do more in future, and you can not stop me. And mind this thing, I will still come to home will fuck you and kiss you, with the same lips and dick that fucked and touched other pussy. And you will have to bear it. Because no one other than me will accept you willingly. Don't forget you are now married to me, and bred by me. No man will accept a woman who looks so unsightly. Just see your body, it doesn't even fit the basic beauty standards. "
A
lone tear escaped her eyes, as she wiped it before pushing him back, she stood up and stormed to the washroom. " So easy to manipulate. " he chuckled as a smirk formed on his lips. It was his dark fantasy to keep her with him, locked in his house even if he is not there. She is supposed to be just his and not of someone else.
...
" Aish, I should not take it to my heart- " she tried to console herself in the washroom as his words were so deep and seemed very true. " But that is how everybody acted with me in his absence. Even my parents did not treat me well. Will they really abandon me ? " self doubt crossed her face as she find her drowning in tge abyss of endless insecurities. He had managed to get through her once again, and got his way out her.
" I am really pathetic. I love him. I love Jungkook. And I forever will. I am his. " She chanted as she washed her face, going out of the room. Only to find he laying on his side of bed. Wiping her hands, she layed on the bed too. However the chant in her mind continued as she fell asleep soon.
- In the Morning -
The morning approached soon, as the light of sun illuminated the room. He was first to wake up as he looked onto her whose face had dark circles and dry tears. Although, he felt bad for you in the beginning phase of marriage but soon all of it changed to pure twisted obsession. At some point, he did not know what feelings he really had for her. He did not live her, nor liked her, hell was not even attracted to her but still he just want to keep her close to him. Locked in his house. All available for him.
He saw the time, which was ' 5:30 ' as he stood up leaving the room. He went to the guest room, laying on the nicely set bed. He dozed off again.
After sometime, Y/n woke up by a pinch on her arms. She looked around only to find the maid with a professional face. She bowed to her as she nodded before standing and retreating to the washroom. Throwing the clothes to the bucket, she carefully sat into the bathtub and started the shower. She scrubbed her body throughly before rinsing, standing with caution and wearing her clothes were the next actions she did.
" Please keep my tea at the table. I will drink from there. " She spoke without looking at the person who had entered in her room. " Do I look like a maid to you ? " a manly voice interrupted her train of thoughts as she stiffened from his voice. " I did not expect you be here, as you had left the room early in the morning. " She spoke in a plastic voice, surfacing the fear she had.
After last night, she was scared from him. The picture of him removing his belt and looking at her with dark ears was terrifying. But the thing that hurt the most were the words he said about kissing and fucking random whores and doing same with her. She despised cheats.
" About last night, I did not kiss her. It was photo shopped. She is the fiance of my friend Kai. " She looked at him with wide eyes and agape mouth. He shrugged his shoulders before leaving the room.
She looked back to the mirror, as a sigh of relaxation was released by her. She continued to comb her long hair, before tying them up and leaving the room for breakfast.
Entering the dining room, she was jet with him who was present before her, and was having his omelette. She looked at him who was unbothered by her presence before sitting in front of him as her meals were served.
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