Beep... Beep... Beep...
That's all I heard. Was that same noise over and over again. My whole body was numb, my mind so clear. But something bothered me. It was as if it was trying to tell me something was wrong. I could feel like something was but I couldn't exactly be sure of it.
"And here you go, one caramel sundae," Beth's voice boomed.
"Thanks. So do you think she'll finally waken up today?" My brother, Blake, replied.
"The doctors said they weren't sure, they had to come in and check her again."
"It's just been three months and I'm beginning to worry."
"They've kept you updated on her condition and she has improved dramatically, so there are signs of life there."
"It's not just that, Beth. She's my sister. The youngest one out of all of us, so to see her in this state, it's not very nice. Especially when we were to protect her. It was one of the last things our parents said to Naomi and I.'Protect Niamh at all times. She might be a fighter but she's just so weak.' And I know those words shouldn't be in play now but they are."
"Blake, you don't know the hell he put her through. No one does. Hell, I don't know what Joel's playing at."
"I know one thing, when I get my hands on him, he's dead," Blake seethed.
My eyes fluttered open. While my eyes got adjusted to the bright lights, I took a minute to recall the last memory I could remember. But none came. All I could think of was the dream. The random dream that I was dating Miguel Manuela. That he'd dumped Alissa for me. There's no chance he'd ever take a chance at someone like me. I was just a fat lump who couldn't lose the weight even if I tried.
After my eyes adjusted, I laid my eyes upon my brother and my best friend. Their faces held shocked expressions, like they weren't expecting me to waken up today or ever.
"Water please!" I croaked in a hoarse voice.
Blake handed me one and as I took a long sip, the dream kept repeating itself. Who was this random person that "kidnapped" me? Who was Miguel Manuela really? Thing is, I can't actually remember anyone or anything. Other than what happened in the dream I had while I was out of things. Seemingly.
"Who's Joel?" I asked, once I had a less hoarse voice.
"Don't worry about that just now. I need to go get the nurse and tell her you're awake," Blake said before scurrying off.
"Who's Joel?" I asked Beth.
"We'll tell you once the nurse has been. Just don't worry about."
"What happened to me?"
"You were in a coma, Niamh."
"For how long?"
"Three months."
"So, how?"
"How what?"
"How did I end up in a coma?"
"You were beat," Blake said entering the room.
"I was beaten?" I asked confused.
"Joel, your ex-boyfriend, was domestically abusing you."
"Who's Joel?"
"He was a guy you were seeing romantically. He's in prison now. So he has no control over you anymore."
"Did our parents die and leave me a house?" I questioned.
"Yeah. Buttons has also been fed and watered every day you've been in here," Blake commented.
"Buttons?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Your cat. Numpty," Blake laughed.
"Oh... "
"And don't worry, Andy knows you're in here," Beth commented.
"Andy?"
"Your boss. You work as a magazine writer. You write articles for Andy's magazine."
"Oh, so I live in a house given to me by mum and dad, I work for a lesbian named Andy and I have a cat called Buttons. So all that part of the dream is true. But, I was dating Joel? So that part of the dream never existed. I never bared my soul to someone, there isn't a new arcade opened up and I'm probably sounding as though I'm on drugs right now so please ignore me," I rambled.
"Miss Barrow, your brother here explained to me that you've just woken up. I'm going to ask you a few questions to see if you remember anything. Although, I'm sure they've mentioned that you've just woken up from a three month coma so things may not be accurate in your mind. Do you understand me?"
"Yes. Was that one of the questions?" I asked.
"Niamh," Blake warned, giving me the stink eye.
"No it wasn't," she replied. "Can you tell me your full name?"
"Niamh Louise Barrow."
"Age?"
"26."
"Date of Birth?"
"Well, it's 2015, so, 1989... I think it's 18th June 1989."
"Place of birth?"
"London, United Kingdom."
"Address?"
"Ten Melrose Park, Noli, NA23 MGD."
"Parents' names?"
"John and Sandra Barrow. Mother's maiden name was Laurie."
"Place of birth for both?"
"No idea? Why all the questions about my parents?"
"I'm going to reiterate that question; why?" Blake spoke up eventually.
"It's just to jog her memory, Mr Barrow. None of it is actually being written down."
"I should bloody well hope not. I have no idea what my parents' names and places of birth have to do with Niamh gaining her memory back. If she even has amnesia anyhow."
"As I said, Mr Barrow, it's just in contention that we cover everything to jog her memory. Nothing personal about it."
"Is there a preference to how many I'm getting right?"
"All will be revealed once the questionnaire is finished."
"How many more?" I asked impatiently.
"Not that many," the nurse reiterated. "Best friends names?"
"Beth, Leon and Andy."
"Worst enemy?"
"Alissa."
I was confused. Why did she want to know everything personal, almost? I knew most of those things. Yeah I was in a coma for three months but this was just getting a bit far fetched. There was all these questions that someone shouldn't be asking. Especially from what I've seen in programmes that deal with hospital scenes.
"Nurse, why has her best friends names got to do with her memory?"
"Because if she can't know who her best friends are then what's the point of asking anymore questions?"
"Fair point. Do these questions actually have any meaning to them?"
"When a patient comes out of a coma, more often than not they forget everything, thus leading them to amnesia and the lack of brain fluidity. So far, Niamh looks to be fine. But that's not leading into the questions regarding her coma and admission to the hospital."
So they did have a point!
"Niamh, do you know why you were admitted and placed into an induced coma?" She then permitted to ask.
"No I do not. My brother and Beth told me what happened but I cannot recall any memory of a man named Joel or the supposed beatings he gave me," I spoke. "How did I stay in the coma so long?"
"We don't actually know. We think you needed the rest. And your injuries were severe."
"How severe?"
"You were hallucinating, you had broken ribs, a broken wrist, and a broken kneecap," Blake answered for the nurse.
"How was I hallucinating?"
"He gave you a mixture of cocaine and hash. The two together had an effect on you, making you dream that things were happening. We had to flush your system so you didn't take a more permanent reaction to the drugs."
"Do you remember anything from that night?" She asked, probing me further.
"No I do not. I don't even remember much of my life before wakening up now. I only know I had this sort of dream, something so realistic, that I thought was true. Some of it was though but other parts of it were false."
"It seems as though you do have a part of amnesia within your brain but not all of it. It's confusing as to how it all works but matter of factly, it can happen. You remember mostly everything about your life, so I'm happy about that, however, the lack of knowledge of your life before wakening up, that worries me. I'll send Mr Cartwright in once he's finished with his clinic," she said before walking off with the clipboard in hand.
"So where did I meet Joel?"
"In a nightclub I took you to a while back," Beth answered.
"What does he look like?"
"He was scrawny, ginger haired, tall, and he was violent. But when you met him he couldn't be anymore kinder."
"So let me get this right, I met and dated a man I didn't know, then he domestically abused me, and then I end up in here? Okay... What else do I need to know about him?"
"While you were in the coma, he was jailed for 15 years for the abuse he gave you. He then tried to lie when he was jailed. Said that he didn't do such things to you and that it was his best friend, Mitchell. We all knew it to be true because his knuckles were all bruised and bashed. And they matched the marks upon your body. Mitchell's didn't," Blake said softly.
"So, he tried to get his ass out of jail by blaming his best friend? Wow, what a great friend!" I spoke sarcastically.
"Anyway, enough about that asshole. How are you feeling?" Beth asked.
"Truthfully?" I questioned.
"Truthfully, Niamh."
"I feel like shit. The whole room is spinning and there's no way to make it stop. I answered her questions and I'm scared in case most of them were wrong. And there's no way to prove if they're right. I don't even remember this Joel person, Or a person called Mitchell and I feel like I should because, you know, they meant something to me. All I remember is a realistic dream that I was somehow dating Miguel Manuela. That Blake had moved here to escape his cheating ex-wife Elina. That he was having to fight for his kids because Elina was taking custody of them and making their children call her new boyfriend 'daddy' and that she wasn't giving Blake anything. From the dream also, I met Miguel in a cafe that Beth owns, and that I was only in the cafe because Andy tried to go off on one at me. Like she wanted me to go off with her into her office and have fun - in a way that I don't want to say. Also from the dream, I was the secret general manager to an arcade that was owned by Miguel, and he named it after his supposed deceased brother. All in all, I don't even know where Leon was in this dream or why I dreamt of Miguel or why I supposedly told him why mum and dad moved me here and left Blake and Naomi in London," I ranted without a breath.
"I did move here because Elina was cheating on me... But, I didn't have to fight my children. She gave them to me with all their belongings, telling me she didn't want them and never wanted them. So they're here, in Noli, being cared for by Leon for the time being."
"My idiotic best friend is looking after your children? Do you trust him with them? It's just... He can't look after a pet fish without killing it," Beth stammered.
"Yes, Leon is looking after my children. And, yes, I do trust him."
"What age are they, Blake?" I asked fervently.
"They're both 6, and they're twins. They're called Rosie and Jim Barrow. Their mother named them after a children's television programme in the UK. Naomi's are called Love and Greg Mono."
"Okay, both sets of children have weird sets of names, but why Leon? Out of all the people you could've picked, you picked Leon, why?" I asked.
"He was the much better option and I know him. He's only the one I know here in Noli, besides you, Andy and Beth. Besides, you know how hospitals creep him out."
My other best friend, Leon, had this phobia about hospitals. He claimed that they were haunted with how many people had died within their boundaries. He had some logical explanations about it all but in reality, it was a load of crap. No place is haunted. There aren't any ghost. And until someone can prove me any different, I'll hold my own beliefs.
Leon was the shortest of the group. He was 4"9 and bald. For being 26, he was unbelievably short. His blue eyes shone out, brighter than the sky sometimes. They were pale but bright. Beth, on the other hand, she had green eyes, and she was relatively tall. She was 5"10 and pudgy a little. She wasn't exactly skinny, but she wasn't extremely fat like me. She, like Joel, had ginger hair.
Except, I couldn't get Joel out my head. And the only questions I was thinking was; WHO THE HECK WAS HE?
I couldn't picture him. I couldn't even place him or the nightclub we supposedly met in. All I could remember was the dream as I've mentioned to my brother and best friend. I couldn't even remember what my niece's and nephew's looked like. One set was twins and I have no idea what the other two were like. All I know is that Naomi is two years older than Blake, making her the oldest of all three of us.
I knew which programme Blake was talking about when he called them Rosie and Jim. It was a programme I used to watch when I was little. There were two puppets that lived on a boat. Except they weren't really puppets. They were more like teddies that came to life. One was ginger, and the other was black haired - I think. And as the boat owner started to drive the boat up the canal, they came to life, often sitting back down when he came down under the deck. They played with his mini accordion, often giving him a little fright when he heard it being played. The duck on the top of the boat alerted them when they were sailing down the river. Thinking back, that TV show was messed up. I used to love it as a child.
"Niamh, are you even listening to the doctor?" Blake's voice penetrated.
"I'm sorry, what are you saying?" I asked.
"I'm saying," Doctor Cartwright started, "that you can go home tomorrow, depending on how things pan out. The amnesia is a side effect of everything you went through. The amnesia is one of the things that came out of when Joel injected you with the mixture of cocaine and hash. He knew the side effects of it, I'm assuming. So, I'm giving you permission to go home tomorrow, given that you manage to get a full nights rest here. However, you can't go back to your work just yet. Nor can you go anywhere where they have flashing lights or loud music. You can't touch alcohol while on this medication for the pain, and you can't do anything stupid," he continued to explain.
I shut off listening after a while. I knew all about the side effects of amnesia. My mum had it once, from an injury she didn't have any cause over. She'd fallen and bumped her head on the TV cabinet. But, that was because her balance wasn't so great. I knew what to do and what not to do.
"I'll leave you to your family, Miss Barrow, but any questions, don't be afraid to ask," he said, walking off.
Wasn't I glad to be rid of him.
I sighed. "I'm not stupid," I huffed out.
"No one said you were stupid?" Blake questioned.
"I mean the doctor. I know it's his job to inform their patients on what not to do, but I know what not to do. I went through it with mum. I know the effects and what not to do."
"Oh my lord... My sister is a nitwit..." Blake groaned.
"What?"
"I said that you were a nitwit. You need to be advised by a doctor on everything, regardless of whether you know what to do or not. The doctor's don't know that you know what to do. They still have to give you the information."
"Blake," I said sweetly.
"Yes, my dear sister?"
"I hate you," I laughed.
"No can do, Niamh. You love me too much to hate me. Anyway, I best go retrieve my kids from Leon before they drive him up the wall," he laughed before he walked away.
"Do you miss life outside the hospital?"
"I can't remember what life was like outside the hospital. I just remember the dream and that I apparently walked everywhere. Can you tell me about my life outside the hospital?"
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything.. I know nothing about anyone. In the dream, you owned a cafe, is that true?"
"It is. I own the cafe right across from your workplace. You always come across whenever Andy hits on you or if you're on your lunch break," she explained. "Anything else you want to know?"
"How did I meet Joel? I know you said that I met him in a nightclub but how?"
"We were having a girls night out. Me, you and Andy. We went to Laura's first, getting a few pre-drinks in there before moving on to Madison's. We got in for free because the guys liked our assets. You know.. Anyway, we started to get more drinks, and got a little bladdered when Joel came up and started chatting you up. I think because you were drunk you agreed with everything he said. Then as the night progressed, you went home with him. When you came back from his house the following day, you announced that you'd had lost your virginity. We thought that you'd already had that privilege awhile back but we were shocked when you announced it. Anyway, after that night, Joel became clingy and demanded to know where you were at all costs. Whenever you were in my cafe, he was there, making sure that weren't spoken to anyone. At first, I thought it was just a loving manner but now thinking back, it was more of a possessive gesture than anything. When you began to speak to Miguel, Joel began grabbing your hand like it should be attached to his permanently."
"How did Joel get put behind bars?" I asked cautiously.
"Well, Andy and I were called up to give a statement of his actions against you. Plus, the hospital had photographs of the damage that he'd done to you. And his knuckles matched up to the pattern on the screen. And they had the tox screen results. The substances the police found in his flat when the neighbour called the police for a disturbance. The neighbour said that it sounded like someone was getting strangled and that it was bad. There was a lot of shouting and banging. Niamh..." she said. "Joel raped you that night as well." She finished.
"I'm not pregnant am I?" I queried.
"No. You're not. I had to tell you because it was something that Blake wouldn't tell you. He was gunning for Joel when he found out at the trial. He just didn't want to be rash about it because he knew that it would lead to him being taken away for trying to conspire against the court's ruling or something. The thing is, Niamh, we didn't want you to worry over this sort of thing. We just wanted you home and safe before you went back to work or to anymore night clubs."
"You said that I was talking to Miguel before Joel done all the mean things to me, in what way was I talking to him? Like... Was is just a normal conversation or did I spill things I normally didn't?"
"Well... The first time you met him, you went to the Rover Fontaine bridge and spoke because Miguel wouldn't leave you alone."
"So I had a dream about an alternative universe but it actually happened in some aspects? Like, I went to the bridge to meet him, and I was in the cafe when he came in? He broke up with Alissa the day I met him?"
"All that is true. But, then Joel found out through his henchmen and that's when the abuse started. He got all possessive about you. Claiming you as his. No one realised it at the time, we all just thought he was being loving and that he was showing a caring side to you. None of us realised that he was in fact, hurting you by being overprotective."
"Wow... Does he know I'm in here?"
"The whole of Noli knows, Niamh. I wouldn't be surprised if Miguel knew. I just don't know what news he's read and what he hasn't read. I haven't been paying much attention to anything."
"About you and my brother..." I started. "How long?" I questioned.
"How long what?"
"Have you had the hots for each other. I might have amnesia, but I'm not stupid."
"We didn't want to overwhelm you with information so we left that piece out. But we've been dating for a few months prior to your beating. I've met Rosie and Jim and they're fine with me. If it's too weird for you, I will call it off."
"Beth, you're my best friend, Blake is my brother. It's not weird at all. It'll take me a while to get back into the dating scene but I'm not going to stop you and my brother from being happy. If you like each other, then why hide it? Be happy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Okay?"
"Niamh, I love you."
"Bitch, you better. Cause once I'm better, we're having a rager."
"No, you're not. Last time that happened, you ended up with a psycho."
"Aw, you're no fun!" I pouted. And all she could was laugh.
"We're going to have a sophisticated night in in my flat. You, me, Andy, Leon and Blake."
"And who'll watch Rosie and Jim?"
"They're going over to London in a few weeks time to spend time with Naomi and to see their mum. She said she didn't want anything to do with them but Blake's hoping to get her to reconcile with them. He feels like they need their mother's presence in their lives."
"How do you know about all this?"
"Blake and I talk. We have deep conversations at times."
"Does it bother you that there's an 8 year age gap? And that he's got kids?"
"No, it doesn't," she started. "I can't have kids, Niamh. I don't produce enough eggs for me to produce any offsprings. Blake knows all this so you don't have to worry about him finding out or anything."
"So, you want to become a stepparent?"
"It's better than nothing. And if Blake and I don't work out, there's always the chance of adoption or fostering. Or we can foster and adopt a little baby if we want. There's always alternatives on things."
"I'm happy for you, Beth. I truly am. I sometimes wish I could be you, you know?"
"So you'd want to date your own brother?" She laughed aloud.
"NO... NO... NO!! Oh my god! I can't believe you thought of that!" I groaned and laughed at the same time.
"You're the one that said it, honey buns. Not me," she giggled.
"Anyway," I said shaking my head. "why aren't you at the cafe?"
"I have Marissa covering for me. I'm due back in an hour but I think I might head now and give her some help. Will you be okay on your own?"
"I'm in a hospital, and the asshole is locked up for 15 years, what's going to go wrong? Nothing. I'm fine, Beth. Go. Help Marissa."
"I'll see you tomorrow when you get out. I love you, Niamh, and I'm happy you're awake."
"I'm happy I'm awake too, Beth. I'll see you tomorrow."
And with that she was off.
____________
When I got home, everyone was fussing over me like I needed all the help in the world. The thing is, I didn't really need the help. I was fine on my own. I guess that's what happens when you're so independent on things that you have to refuse all the help given to you.
Rosie and Jim were wary of me when I arrived home. They looked at me like they didn't know me. And I'm guessing it was because they were kids and they were shy around people. I have no idea to be honest with you.
I liked the quietness because it gave me time to think about how things turned out and how things didn't turn out.
I came home to plenty of letters from wellwishers. Some were nice and others weren't so nice. Although, I'm guessing that some of these people were people somewhat related with Joel and the supposed gang he used to run... It's all confusing though. Confusing how I can't really remember things and how my life was. I could barely remember Andy and she was my boss. I couldn't even remember half the contacts in my phone and there was few as it is.
Andy wanted to run a story on me and my accident but Blake disagreed with her and the idea. Saying that he thought it was much better for me to rest and to forget the accident - and he was right because although I know nothing of it, I just didn't want to strain myself and think of things that probably aren't true.
It's been four weeks since I've gotten home and I'm getting better with my amnesia. I'm remembering some things, and others I'm not. I know the way around the supermarket, I know the things I go for and I remember the pin to my bank account. Go me! Note the sarcasm..
I hate that I'm struggling in some aspects. I hate that Blake is having to find work to compensate for me not being able to. Granted that the house I lived in was all payed off (I REMEMBERED!) but, we still needed food and clothes. And the council tax had to be paid every month. Ugh, so stressful.
*
I ventured outside for the first time since coming home four weeks ago. It was a sunny day, and I needed something to do, other than look at the four walls of my house. I was due to go crazy but I'm not that stupid, or am I? I guess we'll never know.
I roamed around Noli and came across the Rover Fontaine Bridge. I leaned against the railing of the bridge, taking in the sights of the water and the falling sun.
The last time I was here had been in a dream, and I was stood right in the spot I'm in telling Miguel Manuela about my troubles from London that followed me here, to Noli. It's crazy to think that I have met him and I was speaking to him in a friendly manner but I know that I've never kissed him in any shape or form. The only person that I know I've kissed is Joel. But what I can't fathom is why Joel hurt me in a way that no person deserves to be hurt.
"Are you feeling better?" A French-Australian voice asked me.
"I'm feeling much better, but may I ask, who are you?"
His features were visibly familiar but I just couldn't place who he was or what he was doing talking to me. Maybe he heard my story...
"I'm Miguel Manuela. You were speaking to me before all the trouble with Joel began," he said as he smoothed down his suit jacket.
"Oh... You're the one that was dating Alissa? The one who was as stiff as an ironing board when having fun in bed."
"Um when did I tell you that?" He queried.
"I had a realistic dream while I was in my coma and it was of you and I. You told me that you'd dumped Alissa and you were chatting me up but then that very night, we met here, in this exact spot, talked for a while before we kissed and then walked off towards an arcade that you just opened in the name of your deceased brother, Nathaniel."
"I told you about Nathaniel?"
"In the dream, yes. But in real life, no. I rarely know anything about you - if you've ever told me anything."
"I think we need to talk about everything that's ever been said between us. And about Joel."
"What do you know about him?"
"Not much but I know enough to ease your worries."
"Miguel, um, how do I put this... I don't remember anyone named Joel or what he done to me or everything everyone keeps saying he did. I only remember what went on in the dream and the wrongs things that I've been wrong about so far. I wish I could tell you what went down with Joel and I wish I could tell you what we've spoken about but I know nothing."
"I guess we need to start with the basics then?"
"What basics?"
"Like, tell each other about ourselves."
"Miguel, I'm not trying to be funny, but I rarely know myself... You know, I have amnesia."
"Niamh, I wasn't saying do it now. Do you think I'm that insensitive?"
"I don't know anything about you, so how do you want me to answer that?"
"Answer honestly."
"I forgot what I was thinking," I laughed.
I was true. I often forgot what I was going to say even though it was on the tip of my tongue. Amnesia sucks.
"You know, how about I meet you back here tomorrow night at 7pm. We'll go talk about everything I know and help you with your memory."
"That'd be lovely but Miguel, I'll end up forgetting."
"I'll give you my number and I'll take yours and if you're late or if you forget, I'll text you and remind you. Sound fair?"
"What about Alissa though? Won't she get jealous?" I asked as I passed him my phone.
"Screw Alissa," he continued as he put his number in my phone and put mine in his.
"You already did."
"Now, now, Niamh. It isn't the time to get jealous," he joked as he passed my phone back.
"Who said I was?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"No one. But, I'll see you here tomorrow, 7pm."
"Okay," I said. "I better go now before my brother worries where I am."
"Don't worry, Niamh, you'll get everything back sooner or later."
"I know I will."
And I was off. Left with the constant thoughts of everything.