Trigger warnings: mentions of domestic abuse, emetophobia,
The next morning Henry joined the Bridgerton family to break their fasts. He shuffled down the stairs, still looking as disheveled as he did last night but a bit more rested. Everyone was confused by his presence, unaware that he was invited to stay the night, but he was welcomed by the group regardless. After devouring plates of food and sipping their orange juice, Lucy and Henry made their way into the garden to catch up. They walked along the path, surrounded by the sweet floral scent, a feature of springtime that she loved immensely.
"I hope you are doing well, brother," Lucy spoke. Henry looked up at the sky, squinting his eyes as the sun beat down on them.
"As well as one can be, I suppose," he responded neutrally.
"You mentioned that you had a lot to catch me up on last night," she prodded. He chuckled quietly, and Lucy nudged him on the shoulder.
"Yes, yes, I do. Do you want the bad stuff first or the good stuff?" he asked, relenting. Lucy thought for a moment.
"Bad stuff. Then we can cheer ourselves up with the good stuff," she said definitively. He took a deep breath, bracing himself.
"Father has been completely deranged since you got married. Even worse than before – his beatings have only gotten worse," he whispered the last part, looking down. He untucked his shirt and lifted it, allowing Lucy to see the constellation of bruises left along his ribcage and stomach, leaving her aghast.
"I suppose I should be thankful he aims for anywhere except the face. It saves me a lot of scandal and having to come up with excuses every time someone asks what happened," He added. Lucy shook her head, distraught and angry. Yes, their father had a habit of taking his anger out on Henry now and then, but it had never been this bad. If this was what had transpired over the past few weeks, she shuddered to think what would happen a few months from now.
"You cannot stay there any longer, Henry. You must remain here, or go to your bachelor lodgings – or go back to Wyndall House, for god's sake!" she blasphemed. Henry just sighed.
"You are a free man. Both of your sisters are now married, you are not responsible for us any longer. You don't need to be here anymore," Lucy added, nudging him again. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye briefly and cleared his throat.
"Well, that brings me to the good stuff, actually. I cannot leave until the season is over," he grinned vaguely. Lucy gave him a confused look. When she didn't catch on to his meaning immediately, he explained further.
"I met someone, Lucy,"
A shrill shriek erupted from her very core, and she began bouncing up and down in a very unladylike manner.
"Oh, that is simply wonderful! Please, tell me everything," Lucy begged, squeezing his forearm.
"Her name is Beatrice St. John. Her father is a baron and she is the most incredible person I have ever met," he began and Lucy simply smiled silently, urging him to continue.
"She is the fieriest redhead in the world – quick-witted, intelligent, funny, not shy either. Not to mention I have never met someone quite as beautiful as she," He finished, his cheeks turning a pink color. Lucy couldn't help but giggle – she had never seen a man blush, not to mention her brother.
"Do you plan on proposing any time soon?" Lucy teased.
"I have the ring – I had it made after the first time I kissed her," he replied joyously, to Lucy's horror. He had never been this upfront with her about his antics, and she definitely did not want him to start being so open.
"Henry, I did not need to know that, thank you," she exclaimed and he just laughed.
"Very well, I apologize. But yes, I do plan on proposing. She makes me feel like I have something to live for, that my world doesn't begin and end with a wretched title of 'Duke of Suffolk' that I do not even want. That there is more to life than taking beatings from father and trying to take care of everyone else while putting myself last. I love her, and I will put myself first for once – I will propose to her as soon as I am able," he finished, with a smitten look on his face.
Lucy felt her heart warming up - Henry deserved a love match just as much as she and Eleanor, and she was truly ecstatic that he had finally found someone.
"I am so happy for you, really. You must go, Henry – what are you waiting for?" she urged. He looked at her like a lost puppy, contemplating what she had just said.
"I do not know, actually. I was thinking that I needed to wait for – I don't know, something – but no, you are right of course, I shall go now. I cannot spend another day fantasizing and not taking action," he exclaimed happily. He kissed his sister goodbye on the cheek without another word, and practically skipped back up the garden and back into the Bridgerton house, passing a perplexed looking Benedict who was on his way out to the garden himself. Lucy laughed as her husband approached her and took her hand, intertwining their fingers.
"Why is he so jolly this morning?" Benedict asked.
"He is off to propose, I believe," Lucy giggled. Benedict's eyes widened.
"Propose? To who?!" he questioned, in shock.
"Apparently he has been getting rather acquainted with Miss St. John, and is absolutely love-struck it seems," Lucy mused. The couple began walking around the garden, hand in hand.
"I suppose he has had enough glumness to last a lifetime these past few weeks, I do not blame him," Benedict responded and Lucy nodded her head in agreement.
"It has been much harder for him than I thought. I'm glad he is doing this - hopefully, it means that soon all the Blackthorne children will finally be happy again," she added. Benedict looked at her, grinning.
"So, does that mean you are happy, truly?" He asked, nudging her playfully. Her eyes met his and she returned the grin.
"I am, Benedict. I really am. I did not think we would become so close so quickly, but here we are. I am happy about how things turned out, are you?" She asked hopefully. He expressively stared at her.
"I am happier than you will ever know. Happier than I could possibly explain, in all honesty. I wouldn't even try to put it into words, because none will ever be befitting of how I feel about you, Lucy," he smiled warmly, and the couple came to a stop, under an arch made of jasmine flowers. The sweet smell lingered in the air around them, making the tender moment seem all the more otherworldly. She could not believe how positive things had turned out for her. She was not even worried about Bancroft in the slightest, because she knew that her future was going to be bright despite anything he could ever do to her.
"I love you, so very much Benedict. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you, truly. I cannot wait to write all the poetry and prose that I can about you, for you are my only story. The only story I wish to tell study and tell," Lucy teared up but did not let her tears fall.
"And you are the muse I have been chasing, my love. You strike inspiration in me that no one else ever has and no one else ever will," he reached his hand up to her face, caressed her cheek, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before leaning in to kiss her softly but passionately. Lucy returned the kiss with an equal amount of love and enthusiasm, but found she had to end it prematurely when she was overcome with a wave of heat. She pulled back, still in his arms, and noticed that her forehead was especially sweaty. Then, without warning, she became dizzy and her eyesight faltered a bit, before finally being hit by a wave of nausea. That was the last thing she remembered before collapsing right there, underneath the jasmine arch and in Benedict's arms, his concerned and frantic voice fuzzy in her ears before everything went dark.
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*A/N: skip if you don't usually read trigger warnings cause this is a spoiler. >>>
*trigger warning: mentions of pregnancy from this point on (I know it may be difficult to read storylines that involve it for some of you readers, so I thought I should let you know <3)
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"She's waking up!" a high-pitched feminine voice that was so close it seemed to be inside Lucy's head spoke. With her eyes fluttering open, Lucy could see the curly-headed Hyacinth Bridgerton hovering over her with a hopeful glint in her eye and a wide smile on her face.
"Give her some space, dear – Lucy, how are you feeling? You gave us quite the fright," Violet spoke, pulling away her young daughter. Lucy scrunched her eyebrows and squinted her eyes, adjusting to the brightness of the room, and not quite sure about what had just happened.
"Did I swoon?" Lucy asked, confused.
"Yes, Darling – in the garden. I was so worried about you, Luce," Benedict spoke, making his presence known as he inched forward from the corner of the room, taking Lucy's hand in his.
"I am alright, now. I just feel rather... nauseous," Lucy explained, her voice quiet.
"There is a physician here to examine you, if you will permit him," Violet explained. She had the most peculiar look on her face. It was one of concern, but also mixed with... excitement? The tone of her voice was much the same. Lucy eyed her oddly but decided against saying anything to her about it.
"Yes, of course, I will permit him," Lucy reassured. Violet emptied the room of her Bridgerton brood in the blink of an eye, including a disgruntled Benedict, and left Lucy alone with the physician.
"I am Doctor Bramwell, pleased to make your acquaintance. I have one simple question for you, My Lady– have you had your courses this month?" He asked, getting straight to the point and making Lucy go red in the process. Her womanly cycle was not something that she had ever discussed with a man, much less a complete stranger.
"I, er- actually, I have not," she responded, realizing it was supposed to arrive a few days prior. Then, the realization dawned on her – but how could it be possible? They had practically just consummated the marriage, there was simply no way that what she was thinking could be the case.
"Then, I believe, you may be with child," he explained, before offering his congratulations.
"I recommend waiting for several weeks until you are completely sure before announcing the news – if you continue to experience nausea, especially in the mornings, along with other things such as but not limited to headaches, lethargy, and an increased appetite, then you can be sure that you are carrying a child," he continued to explain. Lucy nodded her head, and said thank you, because she did not know what else to say. She was in shock, and when the Physician left and Benedict returned, she was hesitant to tell him the news. She did not even know how she felt. It was all happening so quickly.
"Lucy, please – you look like you have just been told that you will pass away before night falls – tell me what is amiss, allow me to help you," Benedict pleaded, his eyes puffy and red. She did not have to ask him whether he was crying, because that fact was obvious. She had noticed it before he left the room. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, but this time she allowed them to fall, and Benedict got into bed beside her and placed his arm around her.
"He told me I am possibly with child, Benedict," Lucy said between sniffles.
"Wha– with child? Already?" he asked incredulously. Lucy looked at him and nodded.
"Are you angry?" she asked, nervous at his reaction. His furrowed brow and confused face then softened at her question, and he began stroking her hair tenderly.
"No, heavens, no – I am just surprised, is all. I just did not think it would happen this fast. But Lucy, if you are, this is wonderful news – you will be a great mother, I already know it," he responded and smiled reassuringly. Lucy returned the smile, but still felt the bundle of nerves within her.
"I am scared, though. He told me to wait a few weeks to be sure, but nevertheless, I am scared Benedict. I do not think I am ready for this – not with everything going on. We got married so quickly, and Henry is dealing with all the things father is throwing his way – not to mention the fact that we have yet to deal with Bancroft or found a house for the two of us to live in!" she exclaimed, feeling her tears start to flow with even more intensity. He rubbed her back as she sat up in the bed she was lying in.
"We will deal with Bancroft. Please, do not worry about him. Do not place your worry on a man, let alone a man who does not deserve to be spared a second of your precious thoughts," Benedict began.
"And as for the house, it is not as though we are without shelter at all – that will fall into place as well. And with Henry – well, it is a complicated situation but I do not doubt that he will be just fine. The only thing you need to do from now on is rest and enjoy yourself. Place your worries on me, and I will carry them as my own burdens. We are husband and wife, and I will do anything for you, darling," he continued, placing a kiss on her forehead. He managed to subdue all the frantic thoughts in Lucy's mind once again using only his words, and she wondered whether he was meant to be the writer and she the artist. He had a way with words that could calm even the roughest of oceans, she thought.
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A few weeks had passed since her fainting spell, and Lucy was more than certain of her condition. She had been nauseous almost every morning since then, the smell of certain things setting it off throughout the day as well, and was eating piles upon piles of cheese regularly. The amount she was eating would have been amusing, if it did not make her so damn nauseous which, in turn, was adding to her morning nausea.
"It's only been a few weeks but I think I would like the baby to be born now, please," Lucy semi-joked while lying in bed with Benedict one morning. She was lying on his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her. She felt the vibration of his laugh at her remark and it gave her butterflies. It was truly a wonder that he could still make her feel this way, weeks into their marriage, and she wondered if it would ever change.
"I don't think it works like that, love," he mused, rubbing his hand along her forearm. She huffed and feigned annoyance, jutting her bottom lip out as she looked up at him. He smiled at her and gave her a kiss. It was one of many she had received at that point, and it still made her stomach flutter.
"We should get up and get ready, it is almost midday and the ball to celebrate Eleanor and Prince Alfred's return is tonight!" Lucy exclaimed excitedly. Benedict groaned.
"We can stay here a little while longer – I'm still exhausted after last night," he winked, making Lucy's cheeks flush.
"No, we must wake up. We need to eat, get some exercise, and then prepare for the ball," Lucy said definitively as she sat up from her place in bed, removing herself from her husband's chest. He rolled his eyes and pulled her back down, gave her another kiss, and then let her go again. She simply laughed at his frustration and got out of bed enthusiastically. It had been so long since she had seen her little sister, and she was eager to see her again and catch up on everything. She was dying to know all of the details of their honeymoon – now that they were both married, they could confide in each other about marriage related things. Not to mention, she could not wait to tell Eleanor about her pregnancy. Lucy and Benedict had not told anyone yet, but the night before the ball they had decided that it was time. It had been three weeks, after all, and she was certainly at least four weeks along by that point. Lucy and Benedict went about their day, eating and walking around the garden as they usually did, then retreated inside to prepare for the ball.
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The palace looked as breathtaking as ever, decorated with golden accents that were brightened by the hundreds of candles lit up. The garden was equally as beautiful, set up with countless tables along the sides and walls of flowers to enclose the space. The flowers were even strung across the walls above them, giving an illusion of a ceiling. It was truly divine, and a picture-perfect welcome-back party for her sister and her husband. Benedict and Lucy had arrived together, hand in hand, followed by the rest of the Blackthornes, ahead of any other guests. It was the polite thing to do since they were the family of the bride. Lucy's mother came over to greet her, giving her a sweet kiss on the cheek, as did Henry. Her father, though, trailed behind his wife and did not utter a single word to his daughter. He did not so much as even look her way, making sure his attentions were always focused on someone or something else.
More esteemed families continued to arrive, and filled the spaces at the tables in the garden. After a suitable amount of time, her Majesty Queen Charlotte finally appeared, along with a few of her Prince and Princess children. The crowd dipped into their usual deep curtsy, in silence, as they welcomed their queen. She gave a short and sweet speech, before finally revealing what everyone had attended the ball for – Eleanor and Alfred. The queen, looking as radiant as ever, stepped to the side, putting the couple in plain view of the crowd of attendees garnering an eruption of cheer. The couple stepped forward hand in hand, and the prince held up Eleanor's delicate hand proudly, displaying their union to the public – which resulted in more cheer. The two of them smiled, then he kissed her cheek and she turned away shyly. The entire ordeal had Lucy more emotional than she had been at the wedding, but she was sure it was mainly because of the bundle growing inside her.
Lucy found that, since she had become with child, it was difficult to keep her emotions balanced. Already being an emotional person, it made things much more difficult for her. So that is why, when Eleanor finally made her way down the steps and into the main area of the garden and approached her family, a few tears strayed from her eyes. When it was appropriate, after she had greeted her parents and brother, Lucy lunged forward and hugged her sister tighter than she ever had before.
"Oh, I missed you terribly, Ellie,"
"I missed you too, sister – so very much," Eleanor squeezed her tightly before releasing her. The prince was standing by, observing the interaction with a look of adoration on his face.
"Oh, forgive me, Your Highness, how impertinent of me," Lucy spoke as she curtsied before her royal brother-in-law. He smiled and dismissed her with a casual wave of his hand.
"Not at all, I would act in the same way if I were you, Lady Lucy," he smiled.
"Oh, and call me Alfred," he whispered, and Lucy returned his smile warmly.
"How was the honeymoon?" Lucy asked, hopefully. The couple looked at each other lovingly and were positively gleaming. She did not need to know the answer to her question.
"It was wonderful, Lucy. It was only a short one though, in Jersey, but we will be going on another extended one at the end of summertime," Eleanor explained cheerily. Prince Alfred snaked his arm around her waist but was still respectful about it which Lucy noticed. Her heart felt full at the sight of them, happily talking about all their honeymoon antics on the largest of the Channel Islands. They stood there conversing for a while, and Benedict and Henry joined them. They were a merry group, standing there and talking about how wonderful life was. Lucy decided to wait a bit longer before telling anyone her baby news since the night was meant to be about the new royal couple.
A few drinks and dances later, people began saying their goodbyes, offering their congratulations to the new couple, and departing for the night. Lucy and the rest of her family were invited to stay in the palace, which they dutifully obliged to. They were shown to their rooms, and it was incredibly late by that point so Lucy and Benedict simply went to sleep. They spent a few days after the ball at the palace, at the request of the queen, and everyone was on their absolute best behavior. When the little weekend away came to an end, and everyone returned to their respective homes, late one night Lucy and Benedict received a chilling and distressing note from Henry.
Lucy,
You must come to Blackthorne Hall and make haste,
as Mother has fallen ill.
Henry Blackthorne
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A/N: I want to thank you all so much for 20k, I am enjoying writing this so much & hope you like it just as much as I do! We are officially about 75% of the way through, and it's so bittersweet but I am incredibly happy at the same time!