Swirling are the thoughts in the unending sea of mine,
Currents that carry emotions of both heat and cold in kind,
They spin and move voraciously beneath your smile,
They are the pain that you glimpsed, but a pain you seemed to have overcame or dismissed.
Yet Happy is the ship floating above,
For you to appear carefree despite our lost love,
How now it seems my soul may be laid to rest,
At the bottom of the sea, I feel doomed to set.
From the beginning I knew the fear of mine,
T'was the swirling thoughts in the unending sea to find,
There under the waters of emotion I prayed,
For I wished to keep my heart displayed,
Not behind a wall of glass,
But to be caressed in your gentle and caring hands.
A brewing storm threatened to spark,
To take your ship and split my soul apart,
How true it must have been under this sea,
That I would have found the destruction of me.
Struggling with pain to acquiesce my consciousness,
To quell the raging tides within my chest,
I see the ship you sail on go,
Happy and joyous to the distance the wind blows,
Should I find myself forever in the loneliest of times,
Maybe within the last of my thoughts will be a peace I can find,
Whether it be the happiness of the ship you sit no matter time and space,
Or the ending of a sadness deeper than the abyss,
I pray whatever peace will come quick and last,
For swirling are the thoughts in the unending sea of my pain and abyss.
Edit: I have had someone tell me that they are very grateful for this poem and that they wished they had read it in 2019. I didn't know it would affect that person so heavily, but I guess it did. I'm grateful that someone else is able to relate so well to my pain even though I still feel so alone. I wish that person, and anyone else that experiences this poem and relates to it, that you overcome the pain. I wish for you to close the door to the abyss and find meaning in your life. I lost mine, so if the only mark I can leave on the world is this, then so be it. May you be a stronger person than I should I fail to overcome this.