TW: Mentions of Self Harm
Michonne and Dad wouldn't let Judith come on the journey to bring the newcomers to Hilltop, but somehow Michonne managed to invite herself. We took five horses and a caravan with us. I'm riding on Al Capony while Michonne and Siddiq are also riding on horses that aren't attached to the caravan.
The twins did come on this journey with us, and I know once Daryl finds out about it he won't be thrilled. But I meant what I said to Siddiq. I can handle Daryl and any rage he throws my way about this. Currently the twins are sitting in the Caravan in between Yumiko, who finally woke up this morning, and DJ. The newcomers are in the back of the caravan conversing with each other.
Before going to Hilltop though we decided to bring the newcomers to their small camp that they claim they had so they could grab any belongings of theirs.
Michonne started asking how much longer it would take to get there and DJ had told us it shouldn't be too much longer if their story checks out. She had agreed that bringing them to Hilltop was a good choice and had seemed almost apologetic for not wanting them to stay at Alexandria. But today Michonne seems a lot more civil towards the group.
As we were riding, Michonne looked in the direction that Siddiq and I are in and spoke directly to us. "You'd feel better if you just say it."
Siddiq and I were originally confused on why Michonne would feel the need to come with us. We were even more confused when she agreed that bringing the group to Hilltop was good and okay. Especially with how she had treated this group when they arrived inside our walls.
"What makes you think I want to say something?" Siddiq asked her in his non-confrontational way.
"I'm not hearing you deny-it." She shrugged. "Plus I'm pretty sure if anyone has something to say it'll be you, Nora. So out with it."
I just simply shrugged not wanting to start any arguments right now since my kids are right next to us. However when I didn't speak, Siddiq did. "I was gonna tell you that I'm glad you changed your mind about them."
"But you think we should've let them stay in Alexandria." Michonne commented.
"Yep." I popped the P at the end of my word before silencing myself again. Michonne then gave me an intense stare that told me she wasn't grateful for my attitude towards her. Well, Ditto.
"Well, you're going pretty far out of your way not to." Siddiq replied to her. "Considering."
"Considering what?" Michonne questioned completely monotone and emotionless.
"That you like these guys." Siddiq shrugged.
"Really? That's what you think?" Michonne slightly laughed. "I think you're thinking of her." Michonne then pointed to me.
"I do like them." I admitted. "Especially the one with the belt knife. She's crafty."
"She hid knives from us." Michonne groaned.
"And?" I laughed while questioning her. "Do you know how many knives I'm hiding on my person right now? A lot. I have my whole fanny pack full. I have three in each boot, one up each sleeve, two hiding in my pigtails, and four in holsters on my waist."
"Hold on a second." Kelly broke up our conversation by speaking and signing to her sister so she knows what we're saying. "Did you say you have knives in your hair?"
"Mhm.."
Yumiko then stared at me with a quizzical look. "And they just..... stay there?" I nodded at her question. "How?"
"Magic." I stated, making Siddiq snort. "It helps to have thick hair."
"Yeah, but how do you get them to stay in your hair and like not accidentally cut it?" Luke asked me.
"Maybe I'll teach you if you ever grow your hair out long enough."
"I might need you to teach me that." I heard Magna mumble.
"I can do that." I smirked at her. "Your hair looks long and thick enough."
"Sweet." Magna smiled back at me. "Does that mean I can have my knives back?"
"No." Michonne bluntly declined making me roll my eyes.
"Not yet." I answered the question a lot nicer than Michonne did. "You'll get them back though."
Siddiq then broke up our side conversation by speaking directly to Michonne. "Yeah, Nora likes them." He then smiled at me for a second before continuing to speak to my fathers wife. "But you do too." There was then a moment of silence before he smirked at her and used her own words against her. "I mean, I'm not hearing you deny it."
"Doesn't mean I trust them." Michonne stated after sighing.
We then heard the group arguing in the caravan next to us. And it had started with Magna complaining about us having her knives. I do understand why Michonne is cautious of these people, but if they were going to hurt us they would have already tried. Especially Magna who seems like she isn't afraid to kill anyone who's threatening her. Which is one of the reasons I like her.
The verbal altercation soon ended and Yumiko spoke to the three of us who aren't riding in the caravan. "Look, I'm sorry about Magna. She can be a bit hotheaded."
"That's one word for it." Michonne groaned before slightly glancing at me and continuing to reply. "But I know exactly what it's like traveling with someone who's like that."
"Hey!" I complained. "I'm not hot headed." I then sighed. "I'm just opinionated."
"Very opinionated." Theodore finally spoke up.
"You got something to say, kid?" I stared at my son who just kept quiet as he stared at me with his Dixon eyes. "No?"
"I like that you're opinionated Momma." Avalon said sucking up to me because she knows I'm still upset with her for jumping the wall with Judith.
"Oh yeah? Well, my opinion on you being grounded still isn't changing after this." I laughed when I heard her whine.
Yumiko then started talking again. "Magna's been on edge since we lost Bernie."
"Was he with you long?" Siddiq asked.
"Long enough." Yumiko admitted. "He loved getting under Magna's skin. He, um, used to wear this absolutely horrid shirt. It was like looking into creation itself. In paisley. God, it was horrendous. But Magna hated it. She said just looking at it gave her a migraine. So Bernie wore it every day for a week. Honestly, I think she came around on the shirt. Just like she came around on him."
"Like family." Michonne commented.
Yumiko then changed the topic not wanting to talk about her dead friend anymore. "This place Hilltop. It's safe?"
"It is." Michonne answered.
"What's it like?"
"It's been a while since I've been there." Michonne stated and it wasn't a lie. After everything happened with Jocelyn she wanted us to stop communications with the other communities and focus just on us. I refused, knowing that having these other communities is important.
"Yeah, you haven't been there, but I have." I rolled my eyes at Michonne before actually answering Yumikos question. "The place is ran by my sister-in-law and brother. You'll like them. They're nice and fair, but they aren't soft. Even though Glenn will give you the impression that he is. They're a lot like our community. They have live stock, a bunch of crops, a few doctors.... I lived there for a while. I had helped Maggie lead that place before I took over for my dad at Alexandria."
"Yeah about that..." Avalon piped up. "Who's the next leader of our community? You can't do it forever-"
"You planning on killing me to take over or something?" I joked with my daughter.
"Well, no. But...." He nudged her brother. "Theo and I were wondering which one of us you would want to take over if something happened."
"You wondered." Theo corrected her. "I didn't say shit."
"Language!" Michonne scolded my kid who simply just rolled his eyes at her.
"Hey, if you wanna-"
"If I wanna keep my pretty little eyes in my head, I won't roll them again." Theo mocked me. "Yeah, yeah. I know."
"Whatever. And who said you could swear? You are eight. Leave that for when you enter the double digits of age, will you?" I laughed.
"Great parenting.." Michonne groaned sarcastically making me give her an icy glare.
"Mom?" Avalon spoke again. "You didn't answer my question."
"You want the truth?" I asked her and she nodded. "Neither of you as of right now. If something happens to me today or tomorrow it'll be Carl and Soph who take over for me."
"Why them?!" Avalon pouted.
"Because they are old enough to lead a whole community." I answered bluntly. "You are eight. You can barely tie your shoes."
"But one day do you think I could do it?" She continued her questioning.
"Maybe." I smiled at her.
Soon we got to where this group had been staying, and it looked as if a herd had passed through. I could hear Luke whining about it and I shook my head looking at all the destruction as the group hopped out of the caravan and I lowered myself off of Al Capony and started walking to the crumbled camp with everyone else.
"The herd you ran from did all this?" Michonne questioned the group.
"No." Magna replied sadly. "A bigger one must've come through here."
We then started putting down the few geeks that are still here. I had told the twins to stay close to either Siddiq or me as we did this so that I could insure that neither of them got hurt or killed. But unfortunately for me my daughter hates listening to anyone, and I'm to blame for passing that trait onto her.
I looked around for her but didn't see her. And I knew she wasn't with Siddiq since his fine ass self is in my line of view. "Avalon!" I yelled out to her and didn't get a reply making my heart beat sky rocket.
Siddiq whipped his head up as I called for my daughter and also started calling for her when he also didn't see her. It was clear he assumed she was with me like I had assumed she was with him.
"Mommy!!!" Avalon cried from the other side of the shipping container that we were next to, making both Siddiq and I run towards her with Theo by our sides.
When the three of us rounded the corner of the shipping container we finally saw Avalon. She was on the ground and a legless geek was trying to pull it self closer to her by pulling on her right foot, and she was trying to kick it off of her with her other foot.
I was about to run over and end the geek before it had a chance to chomp into my daughters leg but Siddiq was quicker than me. He ran over to the geek and kicked it off of Avalon. She then stumbled to get up, but when she did she ran directly into my arms. I pushed her head into me as I crouched down and kissed the top of her head as I watched Siddiq stomp on the geeks head, ending it's reanimated life.
Siddiq looked back at me as I clutched onto Avalon and I mouthed the words, "Thank you" to him before taking a deep breathe and pulling Avalon away from me just enough so I could look at her face. "Are you okay? Any bites, scratches?" She shook her head, but I still searched just in case. After not finding any I stared at my little girl, thankful that she's okay, but at the same time enraged that she didn't listen to me yet again. "What the hell were you thinking!?"
She stared up at me with wide eyes, shocked by my outburst. "I- I- what?"
"Go on. Tell me." I glared at her. "What were you thinking?" I asked my question again but she stayed silent, which forced me to continue scolding her. "I told you and your brother to stay by me or Siddiq. Theo listened. Why couldn't you?"
"I... I wanted to look around." She said quietly.
"You- you wanted to look around?" I scoffed at her while tilting my head. "I don't really give a flying fuck what you wanted to do. I told you to do something and I expect you to do it. You could've been killed."
"I'm sorry.." She whined while pouting her lip.
"Ave...." I sighed and started to calm down. "Look, I don't know what's going on with you. But you can't just do whatever you want. The next time I see your dad, him and I are gonna need to have a conversation about your behavior-"
"No!" She whined. "Please, I'll be good. I'll listen."
"He needs to know." I shook my head while staring at her. "'Cause this shit can't continue." I then heard her whine and sniffle as I fully stood back up. "Now, stay by me or Siddiq. I mean it this time."
With her not wanting to be right next to me since I just scolded her little ass, she ran over to Siddiq who immediately double checked her for injuries just incase I missed any.
A few minutes later, I walked over to Luke who was gathering up a bunch of musical instruments. And when I say a bunch, I mean it. This man has been traveling through the whole apocalypse with a big box full of them. Most of them are stringed instruments, but also a few woodwinds.
I watched Siddiq walk over to us and grab the recorder out of the box and immediately put his fingers over the holes. He then smiled while showing it to me. "This is the first instrument I ever played as a kid. My aunt got it for me for my birthday, and I had it a whole week before my mom decided, for her own sanity, that I liked painting better."
Siddiq then started putting the instrument up to his mouth but Michonne put her hand on his and stopped him when she walked up to us. "Maybe, for my sanity, you don't."
"Oh come on." I groaned at Michonne. "Stop being a party pooper. I wanna hear it."
Siddiq smiled at me before shrugging the instrument out of Michonne's hand. "If my girlfriend wants to hear it then I have no choice." He then started blowing into the instrument, and I quickly learned how his mother almost lost her sanity. This man, as awesome as he is, has not one ounce of musical talent. When he was done he stared at me. "Well, how was it?"
"I uhh.... Well, it was...." I paused for a moment not wanting to completely insult him. "It was something."
"It sounded like a dying squirrel." Theo commented while attempting to pop his ears.
"What?" Siddiq laughed. "It wasn't that bad, was it, girls?" He then looked at Avalon and then me. Avalon didn't say anything to him which gave him his answer from her before looking at me.
"No.." I lied.
"Liar." He laughed before handing me the recorder. "Let's see if you can do any better."
"Is that a challenge?" I questioned while playfully smirking at him, knowing that if he is betting against me right now, he'll lose.
"It is. I want to hear it."
"Fine." I gave him an innocent smile before accepting his challenge. It took me a second to get my fingers in place with my stupid metal hand but eventually I got it and started playing a song called the Celtic Ships. I don't remember too many songs for this instrument, but this one is burned into my memory.
When I was done playing the song I took my lips off the recorder and looked around at everyone who was now being silent and staring at me, it was making me feel awkward. "What?" I finally asked.
"That.. That was pure art." Luke said before continuing to search for things.
Siddiq then took the recorder away from me before asking, "Do you have any other hidden talents I should know about?"
"I wouldn't call that a hidden talent." I chuckled. "I've mentioned to you several time I can play almost every instrument."
"Well, I guess I didn't believe you."
"Then you must seem foolish now, huh?" I smirked at him.
"Very." He admitted. "I'll never doubt you again."
"Good." I got on my tip toes and gave him a small peck on the lips. "But I must admit, it's fun proving you wrong."
He shook his head at me and was about to speak again when Lukes voice cut him off. "It has to be here. It- It's just got to be here."
"What's going on?" Siddiq questioned Luke and Connie who were approaching us again while very clearly looking for something special.
Connie then ended up signing something that we couldn't understand and then nudged Luke when he refused to translate for her. Luke shook his head at Connie and said. "No. I'm not telling them that." He then sighed as he put a hand on Connie's shoulder and looked at Siddiq and I. "Yes, I have a love of the musical arts, but Connie here does not appreciate my-" Connie then did a sign that looked almost sexual, making Luke stop talking and laugh. "No, it is not a fetish."
I then looked at Siddiq who was trying to mimic Connie's hand movements so he could learn the word before I nudged him and laughed. "You trying to tell me you have a fun fetish of some kind?"
"Maybe." He smirked at me. "Maybe not. Maybe I'll show you later."
"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you?" I laughed before Theo tapped me on the arm gaining my attention. "Yes, Bud?
"What's a fetish?"
My eyes widened awkwardly and all of us adults started laughing. "Umm.. Well... It's.." I was trying hard to think of a way to describe it without actually saying what it is.
"It's when someone loves something so much, that they are completely obsessed." Siddiq answered for me when he noticed my hesitation. Theo thankfully accepted that answer,
Luke then continued talking to Connie about the subject we were on before fetishes were mentioned. "Can you just help me find it?" She nodded. They must be looking for a specific instrument that's not already in the box.
"DJ, collect all their weapons." I heard Michonne say.
"Hell no!" Magna started freaking out. "We're taking what's ours."
"No." Michonne glared at her.
"Michonne." I sighed. "If they were going to hurt us, they would've tried by now."
"I'm not taking that chance." She argued with me. "And you shouldn't either. Not with your kids here. And I'm not letting you take five armed strangers into Hilltop."
"What about you?" Yumiko asked Michonne.
"I came to see if your story checks out." Michonne replied while putting a hand on her sword. "It does. Nora, Siddiq, and DJ will take you the rest of the way."
"So not only have you not been to this place in who knows how long, you aren't coming with us and we can't have our weapons?" Magna questioned irritatedly.
"Remember," I looked at Magna as I spoke. "I've been there. It doesn't matter if she's been there or not. I know it's a safe place for you all."
"If you want your weapons, take them!" Michonne yelled at Magna. "Then you're on your own out here."
"Michonne-" Siddiq tried talking but was cut off by Michonne again.
"You want an escort to Hilltop? A chance at something better? They stay with us."
The group then started discussing what they are going to do and I angrily pulled Michonne to the side of everybody, while leaving the kids with Siddiq. This power trip of hers needs to end. I get why she's nervous, but there's no need to be hostile.
"You need to stop." I scolded her and she immediately scoffed at me. "No. None of that shit. I'm tired of this attitude. So what if we didn't vet this group beforehand like we usually would. We are here helping them. And I don't even know why you're acting like you get to call the shots-"
"'Cause I'm your head of security." She barked at me. "And I don't trust them. Do you not remember what happened the last time we blindly trusted someone?"
"We?" I tilted my head. "Do you mean you? She was your friend that after all these years you just trusted like a damn apocalypse never happened. I didn't trust her. But I trusted you, and my kid, sister, and grandkid were taken. So yeah, I remember. But I'm not a complete bitch to everyone I meet because of it."
I thought she would yell at me, but instead she surprised me when she slapped me across the face hard. I immediately brought a hand up to my face as I heard my children screaming, "Mom!"
They both tried running up to me but I put my hand up to stop them. "It's fine." I told my twins. "I'm fine." I then watched them walk back to Siddiq who I shook my head at to tell him not to come check on me. After removing my hand from my stinging cheek, I glared at Michonne. "We are doing things my way out here. I'm doing all the talking now. And all I want to hear from you is silence since you clearly have nothing nice to say."
I then stomped away from her before addressing the group that has now decided that they will stay with us instead of venturing off with their weapons. "So.. We're still collecting your weapons, because while my friend over there is being a raging bitch..." I then glared at Michonne before continuing. "She still has a point. So we will be keeping them until we get to Hilltop, and then I will vouch for you all to my brother and Maggie so you can keep them."
Connie then smiled at me and did the sign for 'Thank you'. Kelly then went to interpret for her sister but I stopped her letting her know that I only know two things in sign language, which are 'thank you' and because of our earlier conversation, 'fetish'.
-----------
Later, we found a building to camp out in for the night. Mostly everyone was sleeping. I was attempting to let myself fall into slumber with Siddiq's arm wrapped around me, but my mind is running a million miles a minute, making it impossible for me to sleep.
Maybe I shouldn't have allowed my kids to come on this trip. But after Siddiq mentioned wanting to use this as a bonding experience with the kids, I thought it may be a good idea. But my daughter was almost killed by a geek today, and it's my fault for two different reasons.
The first reason being that I brought the kids outside the walls to where the geeks are. This is extremely dangerous. And I'm not sure the kids were ready for it. I honestly don't even remember a time where the twins weren't living inside a wall of some kind.
The second reason being that Avalon is too much like me. And while that may not be a problem if she were my age, she's eight. She hates listening to others and usually beats to her own drum. I love that she is her own person with her own opinions, but today she could have been killed because she chose not to listen. That's something she learned from me, and I hate that.
I looked over at my sleeping children who are only a few feet away from Siddiq and I. I was starting to regret bringing them on this journey. I originally thought that this experience would be good for them, but what if it's not.
If Daryl yells at me about this, I deserve it.
I should've put their safety first and made them stay home.
I'm not a good mother.
And just like that, the urge to dig one of my knives into my wrist is back. I took a few deep breaths and tried to think 'happy thoughts' while trying to resist. But it wasn't working. But the thought that keeps circling over and over in my brain is the vision of Avalon trying to crawl away from that geek earlier today.
She could have been a happy meal for that lucky reanimated corpse if Siddiq hadn't acted so quickly, my little girl would be dead and I would have to be the one to tell Daryl that she's gone and that it was my fault.
I stood up slowly after cautiously unwrapping Siddiq's arm from my waist and thanking whatever holy presence there is that he didn't wake up when I moved. I tiptoed into a corner of the large warehouse we're staying in far away from everyone else and sat down.
Slowly, I rolled up my sleeve and stared at all the ugly scars I caused. I had gone gone so long without being ashamed of my scars anymore. And I still am not ashamed of the ones Hudson created. But these ones on my wrist, I did that to myself. I'm very ashamed that I've been doing this. But somehow that shame only fuels the fire more.
After unzipping my fanny pack of knives quietly, I reached in and grabbed a knife. I stared at it for a moment before grabbing it with my metal hand and hovering it over my wrist.
Feeling the cold metal on my wrist I urged myself to break my skin. I closed my eyes and took a few more deep breaths before lowering the blade into me
"NO!"
Luke's scream scared me and made me jump. I then looked down at my wrist in pain and watched as blood started pouring out. I had cut too deep again when I was jump scared. Shit. I guess it's a good thing Siddiq is a doctor, and brought first aid supplies with us.
Having nothing to wrap around my arm, I pulled down my sleeve and wrapped my metal arm around my wrist tightly as I ran to see why Luke is screaming.
Michonne had murdered Luke's violin. She had split it in half with her sword and the only thing keeping it in one piece were it's strings.
When I got there, everyone else was already gathered around. Then I saw the reason why Luke was screaming and I spoke sadly at the scene in front of me. "Now that... That is a damn shame."
Michonne looked ashamed by her actions, which she should be. There was no reason to slice up that beautiful instrument. What was she afraid of? That Luke would play us all a nice lullaby and kill us in our sleep? If this was Magna, then sure I might understand that point of view. But Luke? No. This man is harmless.
Siddiq took one look at me as the group started separating again and grabbed both his first aid kit and my bag stealthily, knowing what I had done to myself again. He had told the kids to go back to sleep before leading me away from the group.
Once we were far enough away from everyone he pointed to a coffee table, instructing me to sit on one side of it and place my arm on the table. He sat across from me as he opened up his first aid kit and started cleaning up my wound.
I winced as he started stitching up my wrist. I was expecting him to scold me but he didn't. Occasionally he would glance at me with worried eyes.
"I'm sorry." I finally whispered to him.
Once he was done stitching me up, he softly kissed my wrist and lightly wrapped it before handing me a shirt from my bag. "You should change your shirt." He then pointed to the blood on my sleeve. I nodded knowing that I don't want anyone to see the blood and start worrying about me. I slowly took my current shirt off by pulling it over my head before buttoning up my new shirt and adjusting the sleeves so they cover my scars and fresh cut. "Why didn't you talk to me?" He asked me softly.
"You were sleeping." I sighed and frowned harder. "I didn't want to wake you up and force you to deal with my stupid mental issues."
"I'd rather you wake me up." He told me in a calm hushed tone. "Your mental health isn't stupid. But what is stupid is you not waking me up to help you before you get to this point. So please, just wake me up."
"Okay." I agreed sadly. "I'm sorry." I told him yet again while letting a tear fall down my face.
He leaned over the table to grab my face gently and wipe my tear away. "I hate seeing you like this." He admitted. "Seeing the person I love in so much pain that she wants to hurt herself.... I hate it. But I don't judge you for it. I just want to be here for you. And I want you to let me in."
I stared at him while tilting my head and slightly furrowing my brows. I don't know if I just heard him right.
Did he just say he loves me?
That is something we haven't said to each other yet. After what Daryl did, breaking me, I've been even more guarded. I was surprised when Siddiq had torn down enough of my walls, but love? I don't know. Do I love him?
"W-what did you just say?" I asked him just to make sure my ears were working properly the first time. "The person you- what?"
"Yeah." He whispered. "I love you."
"I- why?"
" 'Cause even though you don't see it," He looked directly into my eyes. "You're amazing. You're kind, smart, funny, beautiful. You're a great mom, a great leader, and you're one of the strongest people I know." I don't even know what to say. I don't know if I love him. I'm honestly afraid to love again after Daryl. "You don't have to say it back." He stated, making me confused. "If you need time, it's okay. After all the heartbreak you've had in your life, take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
I nodded my head slowly at him before he came over to me and helped me off the ground. He just keeps surprising me. I never would've expected that he loved me, and would be so supportive about me being nervous to say it back.
After he helped me up, we grabbed our stuff we brought over here with us and started making our way back to the group. Only two people were awake besides us. Those people being Michonne and Luke.
Siddiq and I sat on the ground near them and he put his arm around me while listening to the pied piper and the stringed instrument slasher speak. Well, actually, we were watching Michonne try to speak, but Luke forcefully shutting her down.
"This- This is unbelievable." Luke cradled the slaughtered instrument in his arms almost as if it were a newborn baby. "It's utterly unbelievable." Michonne then tried talking to him again, but he put his hand up. "Mnh- mnh-mnh-mnh." He then sighed. "Do you- Do you know what this is? This is an original Stradivarius-"
"Circa 1725." Yumiko cut him off when his speaking woke up her and Magna. She then laughed. "He found it in a mansion outside of Philadelphia before it was overrun with sickos. In the kids room, of all places."
"Like the kid was gonna miss it." Magna laughed.
"I would've." I admitted, making everyone look at me. "What? I'm on his side." I pointed to Luke. "I've always loved music. It was part of my escape from my harsh childhood. So yeah, I meant it when I said it was a damn shame that that beautiful thing is destroyed. I was hoping to play it at least once."
"I'm glad to see you get it." Luke smiled at me, and I returned it with a weak one of my own.
"Oh," I heard Siddiq start speaking as his head laid on my shoulder. "So you've been traveling with a collection of instruments all this time? Why?"
"It's art." Luke said confidently.
"Here we go.." I heard Magna mumble.
Luke gave her a side eye before continuing to speak. "Look, for a very long time, historians and archeologists have wondered how did ancient humans survive the Neanderthals?"
"Okay?" Siddiq questioned making me laugh. I have a feeling he's about to get a whole ass lecture from the pied piper himself.
"How did we defeat them when they were bigger and they were smarter and they were stronger, faster?" Luke asked all of us without actually expecting an answer. "They had better tools than us. So why are we still alive and they're not?"
"They're still alive." Avalon said with a yawn when all the speaking woke her up. "Sometimes Mom refers to my Dad as a Neanderthal."
"Well, she's not entirely wrong." I heard Michonne laugh at my daughters comment.
"Go back to sleep." I shook my head at my daughter while trying not to laugh. When she laid her head down I turned back to Luke and spoke. "You may now proceed."
Luke softly chuckled before continuing his lecture. "They found a cave. Okay? And in that cave, they found a forty thousand year old flute."
"A flute?" Siddiq leaned forward a bit more while hugging me a little tighter in his arms.
"Yes, that is what the man said." I answered my boyfriend. "Now, can you let him finish his story without interrupting?"
"I'll try."
Luke sighed before continuing his story yet again. "Yes. A flute. And then they realized that maybe ancient humans didn't defeat Neanderthal. Not in the way that we think of the word 'defeat', okay? They came together as an answer to defeat.They sat around a campfire. They shared stories with each other in the form of music. And paintings. And- And they created a- a common identity. And then they, you know, they- they built communities and they grew. And then as they grew, Neanderthal retreated, and then, after a while, they just died out." He caressed the broke Violin again. "So this, yeah. This is the one thing that separates us from the animals. For better or worse, it brings us together. And if we're trying to rebuild something, you can't ignore that."
"After everything you've seen and done," Michonne started speaking in a calm tone. I was starting to think she forgot how to be calm with all the bitchiness she's thrown my way lately. "You still believe that's all it'll take?"
"Yeah." Luke replied. "It's survival of the fittest. Sharing with each other, that's part of what makes us stronger.
Michonne then seemed like she wanted to say something, but quickly shut her mouth after looking at my sleeping kids. I wonder if she was about to talk about Jocelyn being the reason she's so guarded now.
"Hey, Luke." I got his attention off of Michonne. "Got any other rare instruments over there?"
"No." He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, they're all great. But this was the star of my show."
"Show me them." He jumped at the opportunity to show me all of his instruments. I got off the ground and followed him to the instruments. But then I stopped looking at them when I noticed his huge cello in the corner. "May I?" I pointed to it.
"As long as you promise not to kill it."
"Don't worry, I'm not a music hater." I laughed before picking up the cello and walking back over to where the group was.
"Apparently, we are about to watch a concert." Luke stated as he sat back down in the chair he was in.
I ended up sitting on the couch with Michonne next to me. Siddiq was still sitting on the ground in front of me as I positioned the instrument and started gliding the bow along its strings.
"There are days. I wake up and I pinch myself. You're with me, not someone else. And I'm scared, yeah, I'm still scared. That it's all a dream. 'Cause you still look perfect as days go by. Even the worst ones, you make me smile. I'd stop the world if it gave us time."
I looked at Siddiq for a moment while continuing to play the song. I was thinking about our earlier conversation. As I look at him I realize I do love him. But I am so scared to love him. Because if this ends like it did with Liam or even how it ended with Daryl, I'll be crushed.
But I don't want to be afraid.
"'Cause when you love someone. You open up your heart. When you love someone, you make room. If you love someone, and you're not afraid to lose 'em. You probably never loved someone like I do....You probably never loved someone like I do..."
Siddiq smiled at me as I continued playing and singing. And when I was finally done I put the cello in a safe place so the stringed instrument slasher doesn't have anymore psychotic ideas.
I then cuddled myself up with Siddiq on the floor again before he turned to me and kissed me gently. "I love you so much, Nora." He whispered to me.
I smiled at him while looking into his eyes. I am extremely afraid to love him, but the problem is, I already do. I just hope this doesn't end terribly.
"I love you too."
**********
So as we can probably tell, Nora's relationship with Siddiq is going to be a longish one. And if you haven't watched the ninth and tenth season of the walking dead I highly suggest watching them, because I really don't want to give away spoilers lol. But if you did watch that far in the show, then you unfortunately know how this will end for them.
Another thing I want to mention is that sex with Siddiq will be mentioned, but I have no plans on writing Siddiq smut. I mean, that is unless y'all are into it lol. If y'all want one or two siddiq smuts I'll give it to you, but he's not the real reason you're here. So I'm just offering just in case. But I don't plan on writing any smut including him unless people want it, so comment if you want it or not lol.
The song in this chapter is called 'Love Someone' by Lukas Graham
Please remember to Comment and Vote :)
P.S. I kind of feel bad for making Michonne such an asshole during these few chapters. But to be fair during these episodes, she wasn't very friendly.
-Queenie*B