I can't see 'em comin down my eyes
So I gotta make the song cry
-Jay-Z
4 Months Later..
°Camila°
In and out, in and out.
I breath in the Georgia air for the first time in months. I run my hands down my outfit then all through my hair. Closing the door and opening up the trunk to get the gifts.
As I'm on the elevator my stomach starts to tighten, for what reasons I have no clue. I step off and walk down the hall, looking at the invitation, I finally find the room. There's a man at the door, I step forward and give him my name. I watch as he turns pages until he finds it, he scratches it out and opens the door to let me in.
I smile and thank him before stepping in.
I look around amazed at the scenery, the decorations are very tasteful and classy for this event. I smile at the pictures.
"Camila!"
I turn from looking at the pictures, Deja comes wobbling over to me as fast as she can. She's ten times bigger than when I last saw her and it's so cute.
I wave at her.
"Oh my God. I honestly didn't think you'd still come." Once she reaches me.
We tried to hug but her round belly prevented that from happening.
"I had to, you look amazing by the way." I tell her.
She smiles, she's glowing.
A photographer comes over, "Oh everyone has to take a picture." Deja says.
I smile and put my hand on her lower belly as we pose for the photo.
I
t kicks me.
"I think he may have a crush on you." She teases.
"Congrats!" I squeal.
"I love this hair on you by the way." She says as she touches it.
"Thank you. Where can I put these?" I hold up the few gifts I've bought for her and the baby.
"Oh, over here. We got a lot of catching up to do. I'm so excited to see you girl!"
-
°August°
"You sho' you straight?" I ask KayKay.
She nods a little and looks up at me, flashing a quick smile.
"Loosen up then." I encourage her.
She pauses to take a deep breath.
"Why ain' no kids hea' uncle Aug?"
I laugh a little. "Calm down, its gon' be some hea' in a lil bit. You wanna help Deja organize some of the gifts?"
She nods again and opens up her mouth. I watch as her eyes beam with happiness as she looks past me.
"Aunty Mill Mill" She says excitedly.
I turned around and saw Camila walking with Deja.
Kay Kay jumped off the couch and ran to her.
-
°Camila°
"Aunty Mill Mill." I hear the little voice and instantly recognized it.
I look down to see Kay running way over to me, her signature ponytails are bouncing in rhyme.
I get low and embrace her in the biggest hug.
"Hey baby!" I honestly missed this little girl.
"Whea' you been at? Every time I call uncle Aug on face time you neva' thea' no mo'."
This little girls accent was thicker than her uncle's.
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry. I've been away."I tell her truthfully.
"Where's Chay and Noonie?" I ask since they're no where in sight.
"They back home with mama since they got school." She answers.
I nod.
"Oh uncle Aug ova'...."She looks around for a second to find her uncle.
"Hea'." She points once she sees him.
"C'mon." She pulls me before I even have a chance to protest.
-
°August°
"Yeah, but ion' know if I'll be able----." I get caught off by KayKay screaming my name. I turn around and see her and Camila in front of me.
She's dressed in my all time favorite color, Royal blue.
Her spaghetti strap jumpsuit hugs her close. I lick my lips at the alluring masterpiece in front of me.
Her hair is a different color, light brown and shorter than what I'm use to.
That sexy Chanel No.5 fragrance brings back memories.
"Whatcha' doing Kay?"
"Nothing. You not gon' say hey to yo girlfriend?" She asks.
I laugh and look over at Camila, who's looking down at Kay. I can tell she's uneasy.
She's still beautiful as hell.
"Kay we have to help Deja organize her gifts." Camila says to her.
"I know, but I wanted you to say hey to my uncle." Kay looks from me to Camila.
I felt like she was uncomfortable in my presence.
"Wassup?" I ask just to help her out a little.
She looks up for a brief second, "Hi."
I notice Kay scrunch her face up, "How come yal' not kissing?" She questions before poking her lips out and closing her eyes, kissing the air.
We both laugh at her.
"Come on little girl." Camila tugs at her arm before they walk away.
She lost a little weight, but that ass still phat.
Damn....
-
°Camila°
"So are you here to stay?" Deja asked me.
I shook my head no.
She pokes out her lips. "Well I guess you being here at this moment will do.....for now that is."
I side eyed her before cracking a smile.
"Has anything changed between you and your parents?" I finally ask her since I've been dying to know.
She sits one of the gifts down.
"No....after they found out that I slept with two guys and didn't know who the father was they really hated me then." She looked down.
"How did he take it?"
"He was pissed but more hurt then anything. He didn't talk to me for awhile but then came around. I'm truly blessed to have him honestly."
She sniffs a little. "It's just hard ya know.....Brandon doesn't even want anything to do with me let alone his child! Just pisses me off, like you helped me make this baby, so take responsibility for it."
I start to see her get upset.
"Look you don't need to let that get to you, today is your day. Don't worry about that right now." I say as I rub her back.
I think back a little, I've heard that name before.
"Brandon..." I say out loud.
"Yeah, you know him or something?"
I open my mouth to speak but quickly closed it, "No...just think I've heard it before."
"You probably have. See when Brandon and I were hooking up so was he and my "best friend".
I put my hand over my mouth...."Chanel?"
She nods. "Yeah Chanel."
That makes me think of Odell, I hadn't seen him since my party. I bet he thinks I'm a whore after wanting to hook up with him, but the brother was looking fine that night. I've gotta call and check up on him and his family while I'm in town.
-
°August
I put the beer ta' my lips as I sit back. I watch as Camila and Kay leave the bathroom. They go over to the dessert table and pick up some cake pops.
I laugh a little ta' myself. Kay been ha' lil shadow all night.
She bites into it and looks around as they conversate.
"You've been watching her all night."
I look over shoulder at Deja.
She just blows my mind all ova' again, but I wouldn't let Deja know that.
"No I haven't." I denied.
"Oh yes you have. Just talk to her already." She puts her hands on her lower back.
I take another sip.
"She don't wanna talk ta' me."
"You don't know that....you still love her don't you?" She asks.
I sit my beer down.
"Just been a minute since I seen ha' that's all."
"August you're still crazy about her, couldn't speak in complete sentences let alone keep your eyes to yourself when she first got here."
I glance back ova', but she's gone.
"All I know is, she's in town for one night." Deja says befa' wobbling off.
-
°Camila°
I step out onto the balcony with little Miss Kay.
"You are something you know that?" I ask her.
She laughs and climbs into my lap as we sit back in a lawn chair.
"I missed you." She tells me.
"I've missed you too. I'm going to give you my number so you and your sisters can call me."
She nods and lays her head on my chest.
"How is your mama and grandma?"
"They good. I talked ta' grandma befa' you came."
I smile and play with her two pigtails.
"Tell them I said hey."
She nods again.
"Aunty?" She asks.
"Yes?" I ask as I stare at the sky.
"How come you didn't call me. You don't luhh me no mo'?"
I'm shocked by what she just asked me and honestly don't know how to answer her question.
I clear my throat and try to gather my words as she looks up at me with bug eyes, waiting for her answer.
"What would make you ask that sweety?"
She twirls her blue candy in her mouth a little, "Well it's been a really long time since I talked ta' you. I ask uncle Aug about you, but he say don't wanna talk ta' nobody."
I sit up straight.
"Sometimes in life we go through things, some good and some bad. Something bad happened to me and I needed to get away for a little while, that's all."
She breaks contact for a second and looks back at me, "What bad happened ta' you?"
"I was in a wreck and some other stuff that I've needed to deal with for a loooong time now. I'm better now though aaaand.....I promise I won't leave you again."
She smiles showing off her now blue mouth.
"Is that why you got that on ya' forehead?"
She touches my scar. I use to be self conscious about this thing, but now I wear it with pride.
"It sure is. I had a broken foot too.
I brag like it was cool.
Her eyes light up, "So you was cripple?"
I throw my head back in a fit of laughter.
"Oh no you didn't! That's why your uncle gave you a crooked part.
She smacks her teeth, "I know! Him and uncle Trav can't do no hair!"
I nod my head in agreement with her as I continue to laugh.
"Oow." She sits up as she hears a song playing from inside.
I watch as she moves her little body, dancing definitely doesn't run in the family.
"Aunty I'm bout ta' go dance to my song." She says with so much attitude. She was such a character.
She gets off my lap and opens up the sliding door.
There's peace and quiet for the first time tonight. I take the time to enjoy the cool breeze.
The door opens, I look over and to my dismay its August.
He sits down in one of the chairs. He's staring.
I look up at the stars. I still feel him staring.
I pull out my phone and pretend I'm interested in what's going on, on my news feed but I'm really not. Still getting the stares. I put my phone away.
Just when I've had enough of him staring he finally speaks.
"She talked ya head off huh?"
I smile a little at the thought of her, "She's definitely the life of the party." I say.
He nods.
"I like ya hair, that weight looks good on you too." He admits.
Who knew he was paying attention to me.
I look over at him, "Thank you." I smile genuinely.
He returns a beautiful smile, I notice his little dimple that appears when he cheeses super hard.
"Long time no see."
I look down at my fingers, "I know."
"If you don't mind me asking, what's been going on in ya life?"
"Nothing much. Getting back to normal."
He nods.
"What about you?" I ask.
He shrugs.
"A lot."
I nod to show him I understand.
I look at his curly hair, it's grown out so much. I can't help but to laugh.
He smiles, "Whatcha' laughin' at?" He asks me.
"Your hair. I can't believe you let it grow out, so darn tender headed."
He shakes his head, "Nahh you just was rough wit' my shit."
I roll my eyes. Here we go again.
He blinks a little.
I look down at my sparkling high heels.
My doctor would have a fit if she knew I was out in these right about now.
He gets ready to say something but Kay opens up the door.
"Deja said she bout ta' open up the presents."
I get up, "It was nice talking to you." I say before stepping in.
-
"That's everything?" I ask Deja.
She nods. "Thank you for helping me clean up."
"No problem."
"Before you leave can we have lunch tomorrow?"
I nod my head as I grab my things.
"Just text me whenever you wake or have a little free time." I tell her.
"Well I guess, goodbye then."
"Don't say it like that. I better be the first one you call when you go into labor!"
She laughs. "Oh you will."
I go to find Kay. All day she's been running around, but now I can't find her!
I peek into one of the rooms, I see her laid out on the big bed.
I guess she's worn herself out.
I walk over and crouch beside the bed.
"Kay." I whisper.
She stirs a little before opening her eyes slightly.
"I'm leaving, but I wanted to tell you goodbye first."
She rubs her eyes.
"Why you leavin'?"
I laugh lightly.
"Girl the party is over. Give me a hug so I can get outta' here."
She sits up and hugs me, then lays back down.
"Love you little Lady." I tell her.
I step out the room and say my final goodbyes to everyone before leaving.
-
°August°
I walk through the halls looking fa' room 234.
I pause when I finally find it.
I try ta' gather my nerves befa' knocking.
The door opens a short time later.
Here goes nothing.....
-
°Camila
"August?" I say as I open the door.
"Hey..."
He's standing with his keys in one hand and a box in the other.
"What's going?" I ask motioning towards the box.
"Oh I uhhh, I came ta' uhh give you some stuff you left back at my place." He stutters
I furrowed my eyes brows.
"Ohh...well thank you." I trail off as I take the box out his hands.
He sticks his now free hands deep into his pants. He only does this when he's either uncomfortable or has done something wrong.
"You wanna come in?" I offer.
He nods, I step aside and let him in.
I sit Indian style on the bed while he sits in a nearby chair.
"What's up? I know you didn't stop by at almost two in the morning just to drop off my old possessions."
Slight smile. I got something out of him.
He readjusted his hat before speaking.
"I just wanted ta' holla' at cha'."
"What's wrong?"
His legs bounces as his eyes dance. I know his nerves are bad.
"I ain' neva' have a real man in my life. My real pops died cause he couldn't put the crack pipe down and my step pops was addicted to the same thing. I had my brudda there, but I know it's nothing like the real thing."
"I gotta be there for that lil boy. I know he not mines but at this point it's not about me and ion' even care. I gotta be there to show him what a real man looks like, give him something I neva' had but always wanted."
My lips are sealed. I don't speak, but instead I'm just all ears.
"When I found out all I wanted to do was call you up and talk ta' ya, but I couldn't. You pushing me away like that hurt like hell man."
I take a deep breath.
My mouth dries, "I actually wanted to apologize for the way I acted towards you. I was in a really bad place." I talk with my hands.
"Do you really hate me?"
I shake my head no as I play with the pillow in front of me. "I didn't mean that." I look down at my bright orange toenails.
"How come you never told me?"
I know he's referencing to the abortion.
"It was something I never felt comfortable with telling anyone. I thought if I kept it to myself it would eventually go away.....I don't know. Not a easy topic for me."
"But I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other? Me telling you about Chrissy wasn't a easy topic but I told you anyways, cause I trust you."
I feel like he's testing my loyalty to him and I quickly get offended.
"I trust you too. I...I just couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't stomach the fact of anyone looking at me different, especially you..." I calm down once I feel myself getting worked up.
"You ain' neva judged me, so why would I eva' judge you?"
I shrug my slumped shoulders and rest my chin on the palms of my hand.
Silence falls upon us.
"I remember everything me and you eva' talked about."
I look up slowly, "Me too." I trail off.
"Are you happy?" He leans in, eyes alert.
I hold my head high and look him dead into his eyes, "Actually I am."
He exhales slowly.
"I know you got plans and a long drive tomorrow so I won't hold you up." He gets up and makes his way towards the door.
I stand to my feet. He opens the door.
"August?"
He turns around to give me his full attention.
"Was I everything you ever wanted?"
My ears burn at my own question.
He blinks and licks his lips.
"That and more, but I guess I gotta move on right?"
He says nothing more and leaves.
-
The next day...
°Camila°
Sliding the card my door unlocks. I step into the cool hotel room. It's time for me to leave Atlanta again and return home. I gather my bags and head downstairs to return my keys.
Loading my things into my car, I hop in and pull off towards the highway.
As I'm sitting at the red light Mariah Carey, Always Be My Baby comes on.
I listen closely as the song plays.
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby.
My phone rings, I reach over and answer.
"Hey Miss Smith, I forgot to tell you, while you were away earlier a man by the name of...." There's shuffling in the background. "Oh here it is, his name was Mr. Alsina. I asked if he wanted to leave a message but he walked out..."
I didn't say anything to her, but instead dropped my phone. I had no way of calling since I'd deleted his number and our texts months ago.
When the light turns green I quickly make a u-turn.
I jump out the car and run up the drive way. Bammimg on the door as hard as I can.
It swings open, I move past Travis, ignoring his greetings and run up the stairs.
I come running back down when I don't find him.
"Where's August?" I ask Trav.
"He left for his flight." He tells me while looking confused.
"His flight?" I ask unclear.
He nodded, "Yeah. Booked one last night when he came home and left maybe.......fifteen minutes ago." He looks down at his phone to check his time.
No." I brush past him and get back into my car.
I sped towards the airport as fast as I could.
Once I finally arrived, I pulled up towards the front entrance and ran inside.
I look around, frantic to find him.
My breathing increases as I run around like a mad woman.
"Ma'am your not allowed past this area." The cop says.
"I have to stop that plane!" I yell in her face.
"I'm sorry, but it's ready for take off."
"Pleaaase." I beg her.
She shrugs to let me know there's nothing that she can do.
My eyes go dead as I stare at the plane leaving. I watch as it disappears moments later. I glide my fingers across my face, they're wet.
I turn around and go to the bathroom. I go into one of the stalls and tear off a piece of toliet paper to blow my nose. Existing, I turn on the water and splash a little on my face. I stared back at my reflection for the longest time.
I picked up my keys and left.
I walk through the big airport, pulling my loose jacket back up over my shoulder. I'm walking full speed but everything around me is moving in slow motion. My head is spinning.
I take a seat nearby just to get myself together before I head back onto the road.
I stare at my running shoes.
"Was up witcha. I'm young."
I look up at the handsome man in front of me.
"Young? I thought your name was Aug."
I answer....
"Oh so no need inna' introduction. Somebody already know me." He said with a hint of cockiness in his voice.
I get up and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around him and crying into his shoulders.
He hugs me tight and while my kissing my hair, trying to contain his own emotions.
I pull away and look him straight into his eyes.
"August I love you and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have you back into my life. I can make believe that I'm happy, but I can't pretend that my life is complete without you. I love you for loving me and seeing the good in me. I want you....I want us..... I've got myself together and I know what I want..... its you that I want."
"Did you just say you loved me?" He asked flabbergasted by my strong words.
I nodded. "I did. And I don't care who knows anymore."
I jumped down and turned around, "EVERYONE I LOVE THIS MAN, AUGUST ANTHONY ALSINA----" I screamed at the top of my lungs while pointing to him.
He quickly snatched me up and covered my mouth.
"I'm sorry." He said to everyone looking, embarrassed by my actions.
He quickly pulled me outside.
"You showing out, you know that?"
I laugh at him.
"August I'm serious. I don't want to do this without you.."
He looks over for a second.
"What you keep playin' wit' my head fa'? You tell me you happy then you say not, you want me then you don't...Imma grown ass man wit' real feelings and ion' have time for these lil kids games."
"August I'm not playing with you." I shake my head.
"You can't just pick up and leave me like that then think imma just come running back ta' ya..." He pauses.
"You know how I feel about cha'.....I...I just can't.."
My eyes flutter as I listen to his words. I've never fell off a cliff, nor have I ever drowned, but I'm sure this is what it must feel like. Why doesn't he see I'm trying to put the past behind us? He's always asking why I can't ever do that, but when I finally give it a try this is what I get?
This feels so final, this time for good.
He pulls me close to him.
"All the love that we share will never be erased and no matter who I deal with, they will neva' take ya place babeh girl. I'm sorry..."
I jerk away from him, I don't want to let him go but I have no choice. I bite the bottom of my lip to keep it from trembling, I punch him in his chest before wiping my face. His jaw clenches.
I turn my back to him and start to walk to my car.
"Can you promise me something?"
I pause in tracks and look over my shoulder to let him know I'm listening.
"I want you to promise that no matta' how bad the storm gets, you gon' always ride wit' a nigga..."
I observe as he digs into his pocket and pulls out my favorite ring. I have butterflies in my stomach, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time. He walks over to me and grabs my hand, this time puts it on my finger himself, the way it's suppose to be done.
"I luhh you too babeh." He cups my face, kisses my nose first then my lips a few times.
I've missed this sweet touch. That tingling feeling runs all through my body like the first time when we kissed all over again.
"I promise." I whisper against his lips.
"Bout time you stop playing hard to get." He laughed, wiping my tears.
*Annnnd like that guys this book is finished. I wanna say thanks to you for all the reads, votes & comments!
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have.
Ooooh and 20.8K reads on my first completed book, yal' the realest!!!!!