My dress flows around my feet. The top is fitted against my upper body. The sleeves are puffed, making me feel like a princess.
"Twirl around for me, Lila. You'll be doing plenty of that tonight," Mother prompts, glancing over at me as a few maids complete her makeup and hair.
I do as she asks, and spin around in front of the gold-crested mirror. Mother's lips curve up into a gentle smile. I grin back. This dress makes me feel prettier than the other ones I've worn.
"You'll be the most beautiful girl at the ball, princess," Father says from the doorway, his hands fixing his tie. I giggle, the smile never leaving my lips.
Mother told me there will be plenty of girls my age at this ball. This is the perfect time to make friends with girls who are normal. If I am surrounded by normals, I will become normal.
From downstairs, I hear my brothers screaming at each other: hurling insults, slapping, maybe even some punching? Mother just sighs, Father rolls his eyes.
"I'm glad my girl is finally back. Now I don't have to like those hooligans," Mother says, shooing the maids off her the moment they brush the last bit of blush across her cheeks.
Mother looks so delicate and beautiful. She smiles effortlessly, looking like the most perfect woman alive. Even if she is much older than me, she is certainly prettier.
She comes up to me, and smooths her hand along my blonde curls that fall to my mid-arms, nearing my elbows. I look up, and see her wonderful grin.
Sir looks at me.
Smiles.
Lots of smiling he's been doing.
"My dearest 102, my darling girl. You know what you are, 102? Do you know what your life holds with me?"
More smiles.
I hate how much I love his smiles. He looks so...
Nice
Reassuring
Like a
Father
I shake my head. I frown. Frowning until it turns upside down. Sir makes it.
"You will become the greatest, 102."
Whispers in my ear
They soothe me to sleep, hands wrapped around me as I scream. Scream and thrash and kick but it's all no use...
I wake and Sir still smiles. "You will rule, 102... and you will never get away."
My eyes snap open.
I glance around. Father has gone. The maids have gone. Mother picks her purse up from the dresser. She turns and smiles at me.
"Come, Lila. Are you feeling well? You are pale..." Mother asks me, hesitant. Her gaze scans my entire body. I immediately nod.
"Yes, Mother."
She nods and takes my hand. I follow right next to her down the winding stairs to the foyer where my brothers and Father are waiting.
Alexandre smiles at me. Nicolas plants a kiss on the top of my head. Arthur grins. "Ah, a princess in our midst." Charles picks me up and spins me around. Pierre shoves him away and does the same.
I grin widely. Flying is a wonderful feeling.
Mother glares at her two youngest sons. "Your little sister is delicate! You can't be spinning her around."
Delicate
No one uses that word to describe me
Deranged?
Yes
Psychotic?
Yes
Delicate?
Never
My memories are filled of blood. They are filled of torture and pain and killing. They are filled of discipline and rules and guards.
Nurses everywhere, smiling, holding me down
Blood all over... me, them, children
Screams
Screams
The screams never stop
They are always in my ear, resting right on my shoulder and screaming into my ear. They scream at me, tell me they didn't deserve it... didn't deserve it, they scream
I know
I know the screams are right
I know they did not deserve it, but they got it. That's what had to happen to them, and I had to do it to them
Not right, no, not right... but sort of right? I am still alive because I did it, I am still standing up right and breathing.
But maybe I am being selfish. I traded hundreds of lives for me. Selfish. Brat. Entitled. How could I? How could I do... that?
I am so mean. So so so mean.
No one will love the real me.
I must be a fake me. The real me is too mean, too wild, too gone.
———
I stand next to Pierre. The man in a suit says, "The Monet family!" And we walk down the stairs. People stare at us... at me.
Everywhere I go, I see eyes on me. They all can't seem to get their eyes off me. Pierre stays by my side when the rest of our family goes to do mafia business.
A little girl comes up to me when Pierre leaves me to talk to his friend from boarding school. "Good day, I am Rosa Russo, daughter of the Italian's right-hand man. I am twelve."
I blink. She holds her hand out to me. "And you are?" She asks. Her eyes tell me she already knows who I am, but I respond anyway.
"Lila Monet... twelve. Daughter of the French Don," I reply unsurely. She smiles and takes my hand, giving it a firm shake.
"Pleasure to meet you, Lila. Come with me." I can't even respond before Rosa is dragging me halfway across the room to three other girls that stand in a cluster by a chocolate fountain.
The girls stop their chatter when we approach. All of them are taller than me. They all have filled, rosy cheeks and bright eyes, and they wear dresses like mine.
Rosa speaks first, "Lila, this is Elena and Isabel, from the Spanish mafia, and Emma, from the American mafia. Girls, here's Lila, the French Don's daughter."
For one brief moment, the girls seem shocked. Then Elena jumps in and asks, "Weren't you kidnapped? My mama was talking about you... oh! Are you a spy for the Russians?"
I blink.
"Did you live in some big tower like in the princess movie? Did you have an evil mother who brushed your hair?" Isabel rambles.
I blink.
Emma raises an eyebrow. "Perhaps she isn't even the real girl. Perhaps she has been replaced. Perhaps she is an alien."
I blink.
Next to me, Rosa laughs. "Oh, don't be silly. Lila is really sweet. Aren't you, Lila? Well, let's go dance! There are plenty of boys around!"
I'm quickly caught up in the swarm of the four girls and I suddenly find myself on the dance floor, engaging in some elaborate dance that involves trading partners.
I feel like a lost dog.
Luckily for me, that torturous dance ends quickly, and children flood the floor to dance. Why are there only children here?
I stop dancing and glance over at the other side of the ballroom, where many of the adults are chatting and laughing.
When I squint my eyes, I spot the familiar brunette girl dancing with an unfamiliar tan boy. They almost seem to be lost in each other's eyes.
With a wrinkled nose, I turn back to the dance floor. A boy comes up next to me, replacing the four girls I have so easily lost.
"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Monet. I am Hunter Grayson, proud son of a Capo in the American mafia— the Rhodes family." He flashes me a toothy grin.
I haven't been around so many carefree, smiling children. At the asylum, no one showed emotion. At the Center, everyone cried or screamed or glared.
Here, at this mafia ball, all of the children dance and twirl and laugh. They smile uncontrollably and talk loudly and eat chocolate.
This change is abrupt.
I was living such a different life only two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago I was scared and alone.
Now, I am surrounded by people who have never and probably will never, ever understand exactly what happened to me, why my mind works like this.
They will never know why I am not normal.
I push myself away and blink. I glance up at Hunter, who still stands there. He holds out his hand. I find myself grinning back and taking his hand.
Hunter leads me out onto the dance floor. Soon Elena, Isabel, Emma, and Rosa are there, dancing with either each other or boys.
I can't help but find myself smiling and twirling just like everyone else around me. They cheer and clap and sing.
Here, everyone is happy.
I want to stay like this forever, locked in bliss.
Then there's a gunshot.
———
Hey, loves!
Another updateee! Yay!
Lila's mind (and frankly my own) is going all over the place.
Hopefully you followed along... I didn't lol
Anyway, please vote and comment! Check out the two other books in the 'Mafia Siblings Series': The Runaway Sister and Darkly Delicate.
Au revoir,
Eva