Chapter Twenty Two - Don't Torture Yourself
"Lets gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song." Brett sang obnoxiously.
I groaned and threw a stone at Brett, "shut up and get the fire started i'm freezing my ass off!"
"My dad and I sing this whenever we go camping. It always cheers my mom up." he shrugged.
"Dude that's when you go out camping. We're stuck here, this isn't a happy go lucky camping trip. We're stuck here, and if you don't get that fire started, then we'll freeze to death!" Brie snapped rubbing her arms.
It was the worst road trip ever. We all piled into Nate's SUV and drove off into the night. We were making good time, until Nate's car battery died in the middle of nowhere.
Please keep in mind it's mid January and the weather was freezing. I'm talking about South Pole cold. I half expected Ramon to come out and waddle through here.
"Hey let's just get this fire started. Maybe we can get a service truck in the morning." Mason reasoned.
"It's 3 in the morning....Sunday morning." I raised my eyebrow.
"Where are we exactly?" Collins asked curling next to Nate.
"We were an hour and a half from Brentwood." Nate answered wrapping his arms around Collins tighter.
After the car stopped, we decided to make a camp until morning. At least then we'd be well rested and find a place out of here.
"YOU ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!" Brett yelled proudly as he pointed at the small fire he made.
"Oh that's nice babe. But who is that going to warm up, us or the ants?" Gaby mumbled chattering her teeth.
Brett was about to retort when I stopped him. "Alright everyone back in the car before we freeze." I ordered. No one seemed that eager to sleep outside anyway.
We piled into the car luckily Nate had a big enough car that we could all be somewhat comfortable. I sat in back atop the duffle bags we packed. I grabbed a hoodie and pulled it on to keep myself warm.
The girls all had their boyfriends to keep them warm. I wasn't so fortunate.
Brie and Laine sat in the passenger seat, trying to sleep. Nate and Collins were in front of me cuddling and laughing about something. Brett and Gabs were already huddled together on the drivers seat listening to Gabs ipod.
I grabbed the awful manila envelope. Everything told me to put it away and never look at it, but curiosity got the best of me.
"Don't torture yourself princess." a sweet sultry voice whispered.
My eyes snapped right to Mason. He frowned and climbed over the seats. His big legs stretched over and landed on me.
Did it ever occur to him I wanted to be alone? Was that so hard to comprehend.
"Reynolds go bother someone else." I rolled my eyes.
Mason raised his eyebrow amused, "If you haven't noticed, they've kind of paired off. It's just us two left." he smirked.
"Go away." I demanded, holding the manila envelope to my chest.
"I need somewhere to sleep and you and I have a sleeping history." he shrugged and stretched out so that his arm was gently rested on my shoulder. I could have lied and said it wasn't comforting. But it really was...plus it was cold.
"Fine...b-but only because i'm cold." I relented. Mason smirked triumphantly. I gripped the envelope and contemplated whether I should see what else was found in there.
"Princess, don't torture yourself. You may not be ready for what's in there." Mason said concerned....he was genuinely looking out for me.
Why? Why did he have to like me? Was it the chase? Did he know that his infatuation with me would pass.
Mason was many things. But boyfriend material was not one of them. Although he's said that he doesn't sleep around, does not dismiss the many girls he's been seen with. The many fights he's been in, and the way he goes from hot to cold in a millisecond.
"Why do care so much? You could be in bed with another girl right now. One that doesn't reject you." I pointed out bluntly. Hurt flashed over his perfect features but he didn't falter when he responded.
"Because I love you-"
"Don't. Please don't use that word...it means more than what you think."
Mason sighed exhausted, "I loved you the moment I tripped you when we first met. My bad by the way. You wouldn't look at me twice after that. It took me years and one drunken night to finally get you to notice me." he revealed.
"Let me get this straight, you liked me since we were kids?" I asked skeptically.
"Well love....but you're too scared of that word." he shrugged.
"That's impossible...you haven't talked to me...ever." I frowned, "You were too cool for school remember?" I teased him.
Mason held my hand and played with my small hand. Measuring out how big and how small our hands compared to each other.
"After I tripped you, I knew you would never talk to me again. Then you had a crush on my cousin who is the complete opposite of me. Trust me, the window of opportunity was more like a mouse hole."
"Tarzan." I mumbled gazing at our hands.
Mase sat up a little straighter and frowned, "Huh?"
"You have Tarzan hands." I mumbled, reveling in the warmth Mason gave me, "I have Jane hands...it's nice."
My eyes got heavy after that. Sleep came not long after....Masons warmth never left me.
"I love you princess." was my send off.
***
"Soo-wee!!!" someone yelled in a high pitch. They continued their hog calls until I threw my phone.
"Ow?" Laine cried out. I snapped my head up and found I hit Laine square in the face.
Beside me, Mason chuckled. He sat up and I realized I fell asleep in his arms. I bit back the blush when my eyes zeroed on Brett.
He was the source of all the hog calling. "What the hell is your problem!" I barked.
"No one was up, I thought i'd wake you guys up." he shrugged innocently. Beside him, Gaby chuckled.
"Oh god what time is it?" Brie asked as Nate and Collins roused from their synchronized snoring.
"Almost nine." Laine filled her in. "We can't just sit her like-"
"Like sitting ducks." Mason agreed.
We couldn't exactly call a service truck because it was Sunday. I definitely wasn't going to call my parents. But if anybody called their parents then they'd surely have us sent back to Clear Bay.
I needed this....and I was left with only one option.
"I'll make a call...I'll be right back." I said and climbed out of the car before anyone could say anything.
***
"Thank you principal Wallace." Nate said filling in the empty space in the pact car.
"Don't mention it." she smiled tightly then added as an after thought, "No really, none of you ever mention this. It's highly inappropriate for me to be driving you guys to Brentwood."
Everyone nodded in agreement, except me. I made it a point to ignore any contact with aunt Chrissy ...
She's really your aunt-no denying it now.
Chrissy pulled into a gas station to fill up. Everyone quickly piled out for either food needs or to pee.
"Ally can I talk to you?" Chrissy called after me as soon as everyone had disappeared.
I turned on my heels and openly scrutinized her. I always thought she and I had similar features, but I thought it was just general stuff. But the proof slapped me in my face.
It was in her brown hair and emerald green eyes. It was in the way she walked and talked. It was in her DNA...this woman who played my fake aunt, who was my fake mom's bestfriend-was actually my real aunt.
"Did you set it up?" I asked bluntly.
"Excuse me?" she asked taken back.
"Did you set up the adoption? You know, get your little sister to give me away. How did you get Derek and Carol to agree to take me in?" I lashed out.
Chrissy closed her eyes, as if trying to decide where to start. "Listen Allyson, you have to understand a few things. But you have to be willing to listen." she told me earnestly.
I nodded, "I'm all ears."
"You have to know this before we see Raven."
"I didn't even know you had a sister." I laughed bitterly as I realized the insanity of the whole situation.
"I know, Raven and I weren't exactly close growing up." she mumbled regretfully.
Then she told me the story of Raven and Chrissy Porter from Northwood a small town in North Carolina. Chrissy who was six years older was high maintenance which was in contrast to the free flowing Raven.
Chrissy excelled in school and kept a close knit network of friends. She kept to the books and didn't go out a lot.
Raven lagged behind in school studies, but excelled in social circles. She was popular and was kind and open to new people. She was also naive and believed nothing would ruin her perfect world where everything was according to Raven.
That is until she turned sixteen.
Chrissy just graduated college when Raven got knocked up. Her parents went ballistic and demanded she get an abortion. Raven didn't believe in abortion, she thought it was wrong. But she also knew she was just a kid and had no idea what she was doing.
That's where my parents came into the picture. Mom was Chrissy's roommate and best friend. She married dad a little after graduation and had tried having a baby.
Chrissy said mom had three miscarriages and she was devastated. Then when Raven decided she couldn't raise a kid, the butting sister's joined together and set up the adoption.
By then Raven was desperate. Her parents cut her off and kicked her out. She broke up with her boyfriend because she couldn't risk him finding out. All in all, Raven was miserable during her pregnancy...and she needed a way out.
"You have to believe Raven thought this was best. She was broke and asked me...me for help! Raven would rather stick a pin her eye than ever come to me for help." Chrissy explained. "Your parents were willing to have an open adoption, but Raven said she couldn't handle seeing you and knowing she couldn't be the mother you needed."
"Why didn't you say anything at all?" I asked calmly, my anger subsided as thoughts of this mysterious Raven Porter filled every inch of my mind.
"Raven begged me to keep my lips sealed. She was already cut off from our parents and she lived with our grandmother in Brentwood. She said she wanted to start off clean and that meant cutting all old ties...this included your biological father and me." she shrugged tears building in her eyes.
"You haven't seen her since?" I asked.
"No, she gave birth to you. She handed you over to your parents and the next day when I went to visit her she was gone and only left behind a note." Chrissy paused a moment as a sob escaped her, "she thought she was a disappointment and swore she'd leave us alone. All that rang true until a couple months ago-" she said before the rest of the group came out of the store.
The guys were all carrying piles of junk food. Smiles plastered on their faces because they were able to eat again. The girls were giggling but their feel good vibes came to a hault as they took in the scene.
Chrissy was in tears and I was no better as tears were building up in my own eyes.
"We're just going to sit in the car." Brie said offering a comforting pat as she walked by. The rest of my friends complied and quickly rushed to the car with their junk food. Mason however lingered back and gave me a questioning look.
"Reynolds should probably stay and listen to this part as he is the one who spilled the beans." Chrissy said regarding Mason with her usual cold glare.
"She had a right to know." he defended standing by my side. He didn't touch me though and I was grateful, all I needed right now was space.
"If he wouldn't have told me, I would have found out on my own." I said, I grabbed my shoulder back and pulled out the infamous manila envelope.
Chrissy took it and scanned at it, gaping openly. "I had my suspicions something was going on. I snuck into your office and took it a couple months ago. I decided that whatever it was shouldn't dictate who I was...I guess I was wrong." I said glaring at my hands.
"It shouldn't sweetie. You're still you...your still the little girl your parents and I adore." Chrissy cried daring to wrap me up in a hug.
I didn't push her away. I needed this, I needed to cry. And I needed someone to hold me. Sometimes you just need someone to hold you and cry with you because it was okay to not be okay. And I couldn't let this dictate me anymore. I just needed this.
Chrissy pulled away and smiled, "Are you ready for a family reunion?" she asked.
I grabbed her hand and held it tightly, "Yeah Aunt Chrissy, I am."