"Happy launch!" Someone screamed, popping a bottle of champagne. Music played loudly from a DJ booth of the venue that had been rented out for the party. It was filled with drunk people laughing and dancing. It was a vibrant sight of sparkly dresses, spilled drinks and smoke from substances that would surely get them kicked out if they were anywhere but in Los Angeles.
"Alright, folks! This one is a throw back, so get ready to throw it back!" The DJ announced over the mic before Let's Get it Started began to play.
Jake rolled his eyes at the obnoxious pun, sipping on a whiskey. He was sitting in the corner of the room, a few drinks in, but not enough to make him want to deal with all of his girlfriend's friends.
Jake was getting too old to spend his evenings clubbing or partying. He didn't understand why Janette insisted on doing it still. Sure, he liked to go out and have a little fun once in a while, but this was entirely too much.
Jake understood to an extent that this was for work, but he didn't get why he had to go? Brand stuff and parties like this always ended with Jake hiding in a corner because he doesn't know anyone or have anything in common with these people because most of them were in their early twenties.
"Hey, guys! I'm here at Sarah Jade's launch party for her collab with MORPHE and look how cute the table setting is!" A girl at a different table said to her phone, a guy pointing a ringlight at her to make sure the lighting was perfect.
Jake suppressed a sigh.
Fucking influencers.
When Jake started dating Janette, he had no idea who she was or what she did for a living, and sadly, she didn't tell him until they were serious. It wasn't like he had an issue with being internet famous as a whole, he respected the hustle, it was just some of the people that happened to be internet famous.
Jake spent most of his time on tour so he didn't usually have to deal with it. He made it clear to Janette that he had no interest being in her videos and she respected it mostly so it worked.
Jake couldn't help but find himself so unbelievably annoyed with the people Janette associated herself with. Sure, most of it was just for work and she wasn't actually friends with them(something he found a bit disingenuous since they were leading their followers to believe they were friends), but it was still odd.
"Okay, guys. I've had this foundation on for eight hours and look how good it looks!" A woman in front of Jake said, nearly blinding him with her ringlight.
Jake stood up and walked over to the bar because good god. If he had to listen to one more person film shit for a vlog, he was going to find the closest sharp object and impale himself with it.
Dating an influencer taught Jake one thing. They are completely detached from reality. Even the 'down to earth' ones that people praise for being so real. It's an act. Those people are somehow worse than the superficial influencers because at least the latter was aware that they had it made.
The 'relatable' ones who genuinely believe that they have it so hard and they're just like everyone else was baffling to Jake.
Jake didn't want to be that guy, but he didn't spend half his life perfecting his craft, years in school to earn a degree in sound engineering, and worked his ass off nine months out of the year away from home touring to be told that someone who spent an hour filming themselves talking about a damn lipstick and send the footage off to an editor to deal with it made triple the amount he made.
Jake couldn't imagine how people with minimum wage jobs felt. He was privileged as fuck and he felt bitter about it.
"Hi, baby!" Jake turned around to see his very drunk girlfriend stumbling towards him.
"Hi, honey." He smiled, grabbing her arm to steady her when she nearly fell over. "You having fun?" He asked.
"So much fun!" She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. "I have to do some photos with the girlies really quick, but I will be right back!"
Jake watched her disappear back into the crowd, and sighed. This is why he never went to events or parties with her, he always got left alone or ignored. He usually ended up talking to staff or people who worked for the influencers because they were the only ones who weren't insufferable.
He's met a couple of content creators that were pretty cool, but sadly those people did not run in Janette's circle so he only saw them at events like vidcon which he thankfully has only had to go to once since his touring schedule usually never lined up.
Sometimes Jake wondered why he put up with this. Sure, he cared about Janette, and liked being in a relationship with her, but some days, the pros seemed insignificant compared to the cons.
Jake downed the rest of his whiskey and decided to go look for a bathroom to hide in for a while.
He wandered out of the main room and down a hallway until he saw the sign for the men's room. He slipped inside and went into the disabled stall. It was a ridiculously ornate bathroom with a literal couch in the stall. Why that was there, Jake didn't want to know.
He sat down on the loveseat styled couch, and pulled out his phone, scrolling through Instagram and ignoring the ten thousand stories Janette has posted already.
He purposefully ignored those posts, deciding to click on the one after that- a buddy of his that used to tech for them- before he started mindlessly clicking through stories.
Just when he was about to close the app, a selfie of Andy laying in bed with his cat on top of him and nearly smothering his face popped up.
"Late night cuddles(possible murder attempt) with Crow"
Jake held his finger down on the story so it wouldn't automatically move on to the next one, staring at the frontman of his band- if there was even a band left at this point.
Things had been... difficult in the band for the last few years. The once rock solid bond between the band was now so strained that Jake wasn't sure it would ever be fixed. Jake still talked to Jinxx fairly regularly, and talked to CC whenever he could, but he didn't really talk to Andy all that much outside of work stuff(their bassist was not someone he cared to associate with on any capacity so there was no point in even acknowledging his existence).
Jake had tried to convince himself that with all the drama and heartache surrounding the band, it was just easier to not talk to Andy. Black Veil was his baby. Andy had built it from the ground up when he was a literal child, sure, it was all of their band, but BVB was Andy's first. He told himself that he couldn't really be there for Andy in any capacity that he needed him to be, so it was just easier to keep things professional and see him at a solo show whenever he played in Los Angeles.
That wasn't entirely true though.
Jake thought back to one fateful night in Europe, 2014.
Jake walked out of his hotel room bathroom, freshly showered and relaxed after a long day. He laughed to himself when he nearly tripped over a shoe that he had apparently left in the middle of the floor after he changed. The show had gone great so the guys decided to go to a local bar to celebrate.
Jake left earlier than the rest of the group, wanting to get some sleep. He wasn't much of the partying time anymore.
He had cut back a lot on drinking and started working out a lot more, but a few drinks with his bandmates wouldn't hurt. It was nice, and getting back to his room to watch and show and then shower was great too.
Jake changed into some sweatpants, and just when he was about to put his shirt on, there was a knock at his door. He was sure it was Jinxx wanting to be let in.
"Dude! You have a key card!" Jake laughed, sliding the shirt on.
"No the fuck I don't!" His frontman's familiar baritone yelled back.
Jake opened the door, raising a confused brow at the younger man. "Sorry, buddy. I thought it was Jinxx. Did you need something?" He asked, eyeing Andy as he leaned heavily against the doorframe to keep himself upright. Andy was completely wasted. Andy hadn't gone with them to the bar, but Jake supposed he joined the guys after the fact.
"Didn't know where you were, Jon said you were in here." Andy replied, his head lolling to the side as he looked at Jake with squinted eyes.
"Do you want to come in?" Jake couldn't help but laugh. Andy had a temper when he was drunk, but mostly he was just pouty or a complete dumbass.
Andy nodded and Jake stepped aside, letting the younger man come in. Andy immediately walked over to a bed and flopped down on his back. "What's with your hair?" Andy asked, wrinkling his nose.
"It's wet?" Jake said.
"Why?" The singer rolled his eyes.
"I took a shower, dumbass." Jake chuckled, walking over to the bed.
"Okay and blow dryers exist." Andy snarked. So he was in a sassy drunk mood, Jake could deal with that.
Andy stretched, his too tight black tank top riding up to show off a strip of pale skin.
"Someone had fun at the bar." Jake commented in amusement.
"I didn't go to the bar." Andy grumbled, rolling onto his side. "I didn't want to deal with dick face."
Jake didn't need to ask who Andy was referring to. The fact that the singer was this drunk, but didn't go out was more than a little concerning though. "Party of one tonight?"
"I write better with wine, you know that." Andy replied. Jake frowned, sitting down next to him. Jake actually didn't know that. He knew Andy drank a lot, but they all did when they were out on tour and having fun. He also knew Andy drank a hot whiskey or wine before recording vocals.
He didn't know, however, that Andy drank by himself to write.
"How much did you drink?" Jake asked, steadying Andy when he suddenly sat up.
"A bottle and a half I think?" Andy replied and Jake's eyes widened comically.
"That's a fuck ton of red wine." Jake said with a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, I was focused on writing and didn't realize how much I drank." Andy snorted. That was a lie, he had a panic attack and numbed it with as much booze as he could get his hands on.
Jake suppressed a sigh of relief and nodded. "Yeah, maybe try to pay more attention next time, man." He joked.
"Yeah, yeah." Andy rolled his eyes, laying his head on Jake's shoulder. Jake paused. Andy was a cuddly drunk sometimes, but it still surprised Jake whenever it did happen since Andy wasn't the most physically affectionate person ever.
Jake wrapped his arm gingerly around the singer, rubbing his shoulder. "You feeling okay?" Jake asked.
"Yep." Andy hummed, yawning.
Jake could tell the younger man was exhausted. "Do you want to go back to your room? You seem beat."
Andy made a noncommittal grunt, but Jake took it as a yes and pulled him to his feet, grabbing his key card off the night stand and keeping an arm around his waist to keep him upright.
The two walked three doors down to Andy's room, the singer fishing out his key from his back pocket and barely managing to get the key in by himself. Jake made a mental note to text Yanni so he would know to keep an eye out just in case drunk Andy decided to go for a stroll.
Jake helped Andy to the bed, pulling back the covers so the singer could lay down. "That song is pissing me off, I should burn it." Andy huffed, throwing the notebook off of the bed.
Jake snorted, shaking his head in amusement. "Sure, bud." He lifted up the notebook, opening it to the page Andy was working on. It only took skimming to know what it was about. Jake knew this was purely a way to get his emotions out and it would never see the light of day, at least not this entirely too blunt version of it.
"What's it going to be called?" Jake asked.
"Joan Jett drag impersonator should fall off a cliff." Andy grumbled. Jake burst into laughter. "Oh I'm telling you that you said that tomorrow."
"I'll remember." Andy argued, though his slurred speech wasn't at all convincing.
"Okay, Andy." Jake smiled in amusement. "Get some sleep."
"Jake?" Andy said, stopping Jake from leaving just yet. He grabbed the guitarist's hand in a loose grip, keeping him by the bed.
"What's up, buddy?" Jake asked, shutting off the lamp for the singer.
"I love you." Andy said with a yawn.
"I love you too, Andy." Jake kind of laughed, amused by the unusual amount of affection.
"No, dipshit. I love you." Andy groaned, rolling onto his face.
Jake froze. "W-what?" He stammered.
"I love you. For like forever." Andy's voice was muffled against the pillow, but Jake could still understand him.
"Andy- you're really wasted, man. Go on to sleep." Jake tried. Andy was drunk. He wasn't serious.
"I mean it. I don't really care if you feel the same, I'm just tired of keeping it a secret." Andy was nearly asleep at this point, his words barely intelligible. He dropped Jake's hand unceremoniously, wrapping the arm around his pillow.
"I- I'll see you tomorrow, Andy. Good night." Jake said, turning around and leaving the hotel room.
The next morning, Andy never mentioned what he had admitted, let alone even going to Jake's room the night before. Jake could only assume Andy had been black out drunk and didn't remember. It was confusing and overwhelming and Jake still wasn't entirely sure whether or not Andy had been serious or if that was some sort of fucked up Jake the inebriated singer came up with to mess with him.
That lead to many sleepless nights followed by Jake deciding to just pretend it never happened. Inner-band relationships always ended in disaster. Plus Jake was only out to a handful of people. Dating your bandmate was one thing, dating a man was another thing entirely.
Jake often wondered- whenever he allowed himself to ponder on such fantasies- what would have happened if he asked Andy about it the next day. Worst case scenario would have been Andy being mortified, but eventually laughing at Jake over the fact that he even thought he had meant it.
Or maybe that was the best case scenario.
Jake clicked on Andy's profile and scrolled through his posts. He didn't post very often, but Jake still looked through the recent photos.
He has spent the past five years wondering if Andy had meant what he said or not. It was driving him insane. Here he was, hiding in a bougie bathroom at a party he didn't want to be at, being ignored by his girlfriend.
Jake wondered what his life would be like now if he had just asked the damn question.
Before he could comprehend what he was doing, Jake had opened his contacts and clicked on Andy's name.
"Jake?" The guitarist froze at the sound of Andy's voice. It was so nice hearing his voice saying his name. He didn't realize how much he missed it.
"Hey, Andy." Jake finally said, getting his bearings.
"Hi, buddy." Andy laughed slightly. "The party not going well?"
"How do you know that?" Jake asked.
"Because you are at a fancy ass party with your girlfriend and you're calling your bandmate that you spent most of the year with instead." Andy chuckled. Jake couldn't really argue with that logic. Though to be fair, he and Andy barely talked during that tour. Hell, none of the band really hung out.
"These aren't really people I gravitate towards." He said diplomatically.
"Annoying, self absorbed assholes?" Andy supplied, and Jake could hear the smile in his voice.
"Yes." Jake grinned. Things had been so tense and the tour had been a nightmare. The only time he ever saw Andy was on stage.
"So why are you calling me then? You traded a room of them for one." Andy joked, earning a chuckle from the guitarist.
"Yeah, but I've become immune to your bullshit." Jake teased. He's missed the good natured ribbing.
"So why did you call me, Jake?" Andy asked after a few beats.
"Am I not allowed to call one of my oldest friends and chat?" Jake tried.
"You never do." Andy said calmly and yeah, that stung like a bitch. Andy chose not to point out the fact that all Jake could be bothered to do was send a damn tweet when Andy had emergency surgery when his appendix ruptured.
"I don't either I suppose." Andy added. Just like him to try and take some of the blame to make Jake feel better.
"I don't know. I guess I was feeling overwhelmed and completely out of place. I needed to talk to someone who was somewhat normal." Jake said, choosing his words carefully.
"And...?" Andy trailed off, seeing through the bullshit immediately.
"Do you remember when we were on tour in Europe in 2014?" Jake asked suddenly.
"I- yeah? Vaguely. I was black out drunk for most of it." Andy said, his brows furrowed in confusion.
"Do you remember when we played Germany?" Jake continued.
"Kind of? Dude, why are we talking about Germany-?" Andy started to ask.
"Do you remember that one night in Germany when you came to my room looking for me?" Jake continued, fully expecting Andy to be confused still.
Andy fell silent, the tension thick in the air. Jake didn't have to ask if Andy was still there or if he heard him because he knew that already. The silence answered his question.
"Jake, why are you asking me about that?" Andy's voice was so quiet that Jake almost didn't hear him.
"I regret not asking you about it the next day." Jake said instead and Andy said nothing so Jake continued. "You didn't say anything so I figured you were black out and didn't remember it, but it doesn't matter because I should have asked anyways. "
"How long have you been thinking about that?" Andy asked softly.
"Since that night." Jake replied. "Andy-."
"Don't." Andy cut him off, his voice thick with emotion.
"Andy, please." Jake's eyes stung with tears as he fought to hold them back.
"Jake, you have a girlfriend. Please don't put me in this position." Andy all but begged, it was obvious he was crying now.
"Andy-." Jake tried, but Andy wouldn't let him.
"Please don't do this to me, Jake. If you mean it, don't hurt me like this. Don't make me push you away." Andy was sobbing at this point. "I won't help you cheat. I won't be kept a dirty secret from the public and anyone you don't want to know that you're bi. Don't make me lose you, Jake. I've already lost you as a friend and a bandmate. Don't make me lose this too."
Jake sat there, tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't know what to say. Well, he did, but he didn't know if he could do it in that moment. He couldn't hurt Janette like this, but he couldn't hurt Andy either. Jake was fucked and he didn't know what to do.
"Okay." He finally whispered. Andy's sobs broke him into a thousand pieces.
"Goodbye, Jake." Andy sniffled.
"Goodbye, Andy." Jake replied, listening to static when the call ended as he just sat there in silence.
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Hi, I was in the mood to cause pain so enjoy!