Fox's pov
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A month later - (June)
"Why is there a B on your report card?" An angry voice echoes through the air.
"I'm sorry mom but Liv has really needed support from me and I-" I start but my mom gives no fuck about my reasons.
"Do I look like I care?" She spits out and grabs my wrist forcefully, my heart rate speeding up immediately. "This girl has made you drop your grades for what dumb reason she has? That is not acceptable."
Everything is so much, sometimes I can't handle it. Those nights when nobody sees I drink myself away from my problems and forget everything, just for a moment it all disappears and I get peace.
Not that I don't want to help Livia. I do, I really do but it gets so overwhelming. I'm still worried sick, taking care 24/7 that Liv doesn't fall back to her old habits, and at the same time I should be getting straight A's and never miss a day of school?
My three full vodka bottles are hiding under my bed, waiting for me to gulp them down. And I will as soon as I check on Livia today.
August says taking care of Livia shouldn't be my responsibility, and so does Liv herself. But, really, who else is there for her? That's the problem. I can't lose her, she's the most precious and important thing in my whole life. I've never felt anything like this for anyone. It's love.
I never learned properly to love, because nobody showed it to me. And this, my first love, I can't let go. I can't let go of her, not even if it hurts and makes my life a hundred times harder. I don't care.
At least Liv doesn't know about the slaps that I got for being absent from school enough.
"I'm sorry." I whisper to my mom who gleams at me.
"You better be." She spits out and releases my wrist. There's visible red marks left right where her nails dig into my skin.
I just want some peace. My stress levels were so high that I couldn't sleep anymore. Or I could fall asleep, but every night I'd wake up at least two times gasping for air and almost scream out loud from my nightmares.
"I'm going out tonight." I tell my mom. Well, not actually out, but she wouldn't probably be happy about me spending every possible minute I could with Liv.
"Go, I can't stand to see your face right now." She says and turns on her blood red heels to walk away.
I was so used to her stinging words at this point that it didn't even hurt much to hear that. Without having time to worry about it, I head outside to the summer air. Finally there wasn't school to stress about and I could just concentrate on the actual important stuff.
***
I knock four times on the door before someone comes to open it. "Hey beautiful." I greet Livia and give her flushed cheek a kiss.
"You keep calling me that." She smirks.
"For a good reason." I tell her. She looked much better nowadays, cheeks full of colour and eyes not glassy anymore.
"I have a present for you." She says suddenly and I tilt my head in surprise.
"Why?" We had only planned on eating together and maybe watching a movie.
She just shrugs, taking my hand in her warm one and leading me inside, "Come on. It's in my room."
In the last month, we've hang out almost every single day at her house and to be honest, this house feels a lot more like home to me than where I actually live.
"Can't you just tell me what it is?" I ask.
"Nope. I want to see your reaction." She continues to smile.
"Hey Susie." I politely greet Livia's mother while we pass the living room.
She gives me a warm smile, "It's nice to have you around so much."
"I like spending time here." I tell her truthfully and earn a smile.
As we get to Livia's room, she closes the door behind me and then pulls out a small box from her desk.
"Don't tell me you're going to propose me right now." I raise a brow with a grin.
Liv rolls her eyes before answering, "Come on, you know well that you're going to be the one kneeling down. But here, open up." She smiles.
I take the navy velvet box from her hands, opening it carefully. "Liv, woah, this is so cool. But- uh, it's a ring, you know that right?" I stare at the ornamental silver vines forming a ring. In the middle there's a moon with funny white streaks.
"Yes, but that's not a wedding ring. Press the moon and you'll see what I mean." Livia smiles mysteriously.
I dip the ring onto my ring finger and then do as she says, pressing the fragile looking moon with my index finger gently. I gasp as the white streaks of it suddenly lights into life and they turn into a mixture of silver and blue.
And from the corner of my eye, I spot a sun in the same ornamental silver ring, covering Livia's ring finger. It's lighting to life, showing gold and white light.
"What are these?" I gasp, not being able to hide my huge smile.
"Vena Amoris." She says and when I tilt my head slightly she continues, "They're said to connect to our heartbeats through ring fingers, and allow us to be in touch without having phones. Since neither still does right now."
"So I just press this and you'll feel it?" I ask amused.
"Yeah, it's slightly vibrating and then you always know that I'm sending you a message." This time she's the one pressing her Sun charm and I feel my ring beginning to pulse around my ring finger.
"That is like the coolest gift I've ever seen." I say and smile.
"I think I represent the Moon, and you the Sun. So I get the Sun and you have the Moon. Because I'm fully yours now." She continues a little shyly and my cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so much.
"Oh, Liv. These are amazing. You're amazing." I tell her.
I don't even have words to describe how happy these made me, never in the seventeen years of my life, have I felt so much at once.
"I love you." Livia tells me quietly, voice full of unmistakable emotion, looking straight into my eyes and I can't think of anything else but her. So I quickly close the space between us, smacking my lips onto hers and bringing my arms around her waist.
After a long kiss, we slowly part and I bring my hands to cup her face, "You don't even know how thankful I am every day of you. Just your presence and breath gives me a will to live. I've never felt anything like this before, but you just- god I love you so, so much that there's not a thing in the universe that could describe my love." I admit, emotions fulfilling my statement.
"Shit, my love confession wasn't that amazing after all." She says after a while of letting my words sink in. It's then that I notice silent tears escaping from Livia's eyes, but not sad ones. These past months have been so painful and stressful and difficult for her, and seeing her finally cry just out of pure joy now lighting up her beautiful face makes me feel like it was all worth it. All my love and support was really worth every second.
"My love, my precious sweetheart." I mumble and smile against Livia's hair and she chuckles at that.
A silent moment, a good and peaceful one, passes before the love of my life, my first and last ever love opens her mouth.
"But I think these rings could represent your love."
"Huh?" I laugh in confusion, swirling a loose strand of her pin straight hair with my finger.
"You said that there's not a thing in the universe that could describe your love for me. These rings prove you wrong. Vena Amoris. Vein of love. The ancient Egyptians, beside me of course, probably understand that feeling. That's why they made this legend of a ring." Livia explains and I can't help but chuckle. "I love you Fox. Just as much as you love me."
"I'm really glad to hear that." I tell her truthfully.
"And I'm sorry about the past month, it couldn't have been easy for you. You're always there for me and I want to be there for you when you need me. But I'm okay now, I'm almost over the problems." She looks apologetic and I pull away from our hug just so much that I'm able to look her straight into her ocean eyes.
"Hey, don't you dare to apologise, you didn't choose to have those." I say softly. After noticing how she really avoided the correct terms of her condition like it was the plague I didn't really use the words 'anorexia' and 'bulimia' or even 'eating disorder' either.
"I'm always alright, just concentrate on your health right now. And think about others later. Okay?"
"But that home of yours- I should've thought about everything going on. You're too good to be true." She sighs and I let out a hollow laugh.
"I am not too good to be true, but nice that you think so." I was so scared of turning into an alcoholic, depressed and too scarred to function person. Drinking my problems down was a bad habit, but what can you really expect from a seventeen year old guy whose parents still hit him like their life depends on it?
And Liv certainly doesn't need to know that it still happens to me. Not in her fragile state right now. Those are the only lies I tell her; 'No it's fine they're never home', 'they haven't touched me in ages', 'I'm alright.' But I only lie because the truth would break her.
"Trust me you are, any girl would kill to have you." Liv mutters, distracting my thoughts.
I chuckle at her statement, "And any guy would kill for you."
This time she laughs hollowly, "We both know that that's not true. Usually nobody wants a girl like me."
"Don't say that." I shake my head, but the conversation reminds me of the actual reason why I came here. "Have you eaten?"
"Not yet." She admits, truthfully. Two months prior, she would've lied straight to my face and swore she had eaten.
"Alright, what do you wanna eat?" I ask and force myself to pull away from her warmth.
"Hmm, pizza? Can we order?"
I smile warmly, "of course."
"Maybe mom wants some too, wait here. Then we can watch the movie." Livia smiles and rises on her feet to give me a little kiss.
"Alright. But try not to fall asleep during the movie tonight." I tease a bit and she huffs and rolls her eyes at the same time.
***
Later, watching The Hunger Games from Livia's laptop, laying together in her bed and eating mozzarella pizza I can't believe how far she's come with her recovery.
"Feeling okay?" I make sure, just in case.
"You know it's always hard. But I'll get over it. I promise." She flashes me a smile.
"I know you will." I smile back at her. "You're the strongest person I know."
We are silent for a long time, just watching Katniss and Peeta win the game, and me and Livia cuddling alongside.
As the credits roll in, Livia has cuddled against my shoulder, eyes drooping.
"Hey, congratulations you managed to stay up for the whole movie!" I tease.
She yawns loudly, trying to cover it with her hand but failing miserably. "Hurray."
"You should go to bed, you barely are awake anymore." I laugh and try pull further away so she could go lie down, but her hand quickly yanks me back.
"Can't you please stay overnight?" She pleads with her blue seductive eyes.
"Your sleep would be disturbed by my nightmares." I smile sadly. Though it wasn't the full reason, I really needed to release stress by my alcohol.
"I don't mind." She just shrugs. "Please? We haven't cuddled to sleep in ages."
I sigh, giving in. "Alright."
"Love you." Livia smiles softly.
We lie onto her bed, face to face, my arms wrapped around her. Her warm body feels so comfortable against mine that I nearly fall asleep straight away despite my sleeping problems.
She wiggles closer, head pressed against my chest and my chin pressed on top of her head.
"I'll wake you up if you get nightmares and kiss them away." Livia promises me with a sleepy voice, yawning mid-sentence.
"Go to sleep sleepyhead." I smile, praying that I won't get nightmares this night. I stroke Livia's silky hair and listen to her calm breathing until I can't fight the urge to fall asleep anymore.
Maybe the vodka bottles under my bed could wait another night.
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Words: 2231
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