Tw: Fourth wall breaking?
"I don't normally ask for help," Wolffe sighed, "but this time I need it."
Sinker lifted his head from where he was sprawled across the floor. "This sounds serious. Did you kill a Kaminoan? Because I know the perfect place to hide the body."
"I didn't kill a Kaminoan." Wolffe narrowed his eyes at Sinker, wondering why he knew where to put a body.
"You didn't kill a Kaminoan, but you did kill someone?" Warthog raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Maker, Commander, I should report you."
"I didn't kill anyone!" Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "I regret coming here."
"Just tell us!" Boost smacked the back of Warthog's head.
Wolffe shook his head. "Nope. I changed my mind." He started walking to the exit, but Comet jumped in his path.
"Tell us!" Comet demanded. He spread out his arms to prevent Wolffe from passing.
"I have a date with Karina. What do I do?" Wolffe's face was terrifyingly expressionless.
"You okay? You don't seem enthusiastic." Sinker guided Wolffe to sit next to him.
"I just don't want to show you guys how happy I am." Wolffe scowled at them all. "You'll make fun of me."
"We were the ones that tried to get you together anyway!" Boost groaned and fell out of his bed.
Wolffe's scowl deepened. "What?"
Boost froze. "Right. You didn't know about that."
"I want to know now, though," Wolffe told them. He herded them all together so they weren't spread across the room. He learned long ago that it was better to keep an eye on all of them.
"We might've tried to get you together by attempting various tactics," Warthog casually said. "No big deal."
"Is that why you locked us in a storage closet?" Wolffe demanded. "Because- Wait. Is that how her leg got broken?"
Sinker gave a frightened smile. "Yes? But at least we can all laugh about it now! Ha! Ha ha ha. Ha..."
"So you broke her leg... so I would possibly ask her out?" Wolffe slowly said.
"Or she'd ask you out." Boost grinned. "A lady can ask a gentleman out if she wishes."
"Or a gentleman can ask a gentleman if he wishes," Sinker added. "Doesn't matter to us."
"Or someone who isn't a gentleman or a lady can ask out a lady," Warthog said.
Comet nodded along. "Or someone who isn't a gentleman or a lady can ask out a gentleman."
"Or someone who isn't a gentleman or a lady can ask out someone who is neither a gentleman nor a lady," Sinker enthusiastically said.
"But what if they aren't interested in ladies nor gentlemen or anything in between?" Warthog stroked his chin, mimicking Kenobi.
Sinker shrugged. "That's okay too."
"And if they're interested in both ladies and gentlemen?" Warthog asked Boost.
"Then that's okay too!" Boost enthusiastically answered.
Wolffe stared at them all, squinting in disbelief. "What is happening?"
"As long as everyone is consenting and happy," Warthog loudly said, narrowing his eyes at the others.
"Right. Consent is key!" Comet practically shouted.
"Yes. Consent is very important." Wolffe rubbed at his temple, fighting off a headache. "Why are we saying this?"
Boost discreetly pointed to the corner of the room, where Venom, Sunshine, and Flare were seated. "No reason at all! We're just talking normally!"
"Since the Kaminoans don't teach us right from wrong, we've taken it upon ourselves to do it," Comet whispered to Wolffe, covering his mouth with his hand.
"Ah. I thought you all had finally gone insane." Wolffe's lips quirked. "Well, do they seem receptive to your teachings?"
"I don't know." Comet glanced over at the young boys. "Honestly, Venom scares me and I don't think he's picking up on it. And Sunshine seems oblivious to everything. Flare is the only one who looks like he's learning from us."
"One out of three?" Wolffe snorted. "Your success rate is horrible."
"Then help us!" Comet pleaded. "If you help us we'll help you! You're a commander! They'll respect you!"
"I'm not signing up to practically adopt three kids! I'm not their father!" Wolffe shook his head immediately. "No. I don't need help if that's the deal."
"Fine. Go have some boring date in the cafeteria then." Comet crossed his arms and turned away.
Wolffe let out a heavy breath, eyeing the young cadets. "Kriff. Fine. I'll do it."
"Great. Now go do your thing." Comet shoved Wolffe towards the young boys.
Wolffe glared at him before walking closer to his targets. He stared down at them momentarily before offering a hesitant smile.
"Why are you doing that with your face? It's scary." Sunshine looked at Wolffe's face in horror.
"It's a smile." Wolffe let it disappear. "Because I'm being friendly."
"Have you seen someone smile before?" Venom demanded with a scowl.
"Well I can't just smile on command!" Wolffe took a deep breath so he didn't end up yelling at them. "Okay. So I want to have a little chat with you."
"Did we do something wrong, Commander?" Flare asked, sitting up straighter.
Wolffe grimaced. This was going well. "No. Not yet, that is."
Sunshine stared at him with wide eyes. "Is Venom planning a murder? Is that what this is?"
Venom chuckled darkly. "If I was, no one would know beforehand."
Wolffe stared at Venom for a minute before clearing his throat. "I wanted to tell you about, uh, 79's. It's a bar. Whatever you do, don't, uh, drink anything that you don't know where it came from."
"Yes, sir?" Flare frowned, a bit confused as to what was happening.
Wolffe returned to the others. "Done."
"That looked like it went well," Warthog sarcastically said.
"I did it, didn't I?" Wolffe crossed his arms. "Now, what the kark should I do about this?"
"What about going out to an outside landing deck and having dinner there?" Sinker suggested.
"The pool," Warthog said. "Go there."
"Wait, why are you planning it?" Comet realized. "Did you even talk about who was taking who where?"
Wolffe frowned. "Kriff. No we didn't."
"So basically you two are winging it?" Boost laughed.
"I guess so. This was a waste of a morning," Wolffe said before exiting.
"Where should we go?" Wolffe asked.
"I was thinking I could make some hot chocolate and we could watch a holoshow." Karina smiled. "How's that sound?"
"Sounds great." Wolffe followed her to her room and noticed the datapad resting on her pillow. "Have any more parts been released?"
"What?" Karina followed his eyes to the datapad. "Oh! Yes, actually. Go ahead and read it. It's the final chapter."
Karina began making the hot chocolate while Wolffe read the story. She eventually gave him a cup and sat next to him.
"What do you think?" Karina peeked over his shoulder.
"Everyone died." Wolffe blinked up at her. "Why?"
Karina shrugged. "Author's do horrible things to their characters sometimes."
Wolffe sipped the hot chocolate. "I can see that."
"At least nothing like that will happen to us." Karina rested her head on his shoulder.
"Don't jinx us," Wolffe joked, leaning his head against hers.
"What do you want to watch?" Karina asked as she scrolled through the datapad. "Comedy, romance, horror, action..."
"Doesn't matter to me." Wolffe shifted so her back pressed against his front and they'd be more comfortable.
"Comedy it is." Karina strained her neck to kiss his cheek.
They enjoyed the show together with Karina refilling their cups occasionally. When it ended, Karina wordlessly turned on another one. Somehow, they fell asleep huddled up in Karina's blankets.