Nicko had been meaning to get Lee Ann alone to talk to her. He could sense that she was avoiding him after his last confession and he wanted to know why although he had an inkling.
Masama ba 'yung sinabi ko? Masama ba kung sabihin ko kung ano ang nararamdaman ko? he quietly asked himself as he watched Lee Ann rush out of their classroom without even glancing his way.
He sighed. "Maybe she's just trying to sort her feelings out. Baka naguluhan s'ya dahil d'un sa sinabi ko—"
"Hoy, ano ba ang problema mo at kanina ka pa nakatunganga d'yan?" Donald, one of their classmates, asked. "Kanina pa tapos ang klase at tayong dalawa na lang ang nandito."
"Bakit nandito ka pa?"
"Nahulog 'yung ballpen ko kanina at hinanap ko muna. Ikaw, bakit nandito ka pa?"
"May iniisip lang," Nicko replied.
"Lee Ann Carbonel ba ang pangalan n'yang iniisip mo?" Donald teased.
Nicko laughed. "Gan'un ba talaga ako ka-obvious? Paano mo nalaman?"
"Tapang naman n'yan, talagang umamin, eh," Donald said grinning.
"Gan'un talaga..." Nicko sighed.
"O, nakangiti ka lang kanina, ah. Bakit parang mukhang na-scam ka na ngayon? Basted ba?"
"May boyfriend na, eh."
"Oo, nakita namin minsan na may kasama s'yang lalaki. Hinalikan nga s'ya sa noo, eh."
"Saan n'yo sila nakita?"
"Doon sa parking lot. Mukhang bigatin ang kalaban mo, Nicko. Ang ganda ng tsikot, eh. Pero, mukhang mas matanda s'ya kay Lee Ann, ano? Naka-business suit, eh. Mahilig pala si Lee Ann sa mas matanda sa kanya..." Donald sounded thoughtful.
Nicko did not reply.
"Kilala mo ba 'yun? Baka naman kapatid n'ya 'yun?"
"Wala s'yang kapatid na lalaki."
"Ibig sabihin ay 'yun nga ang boyfriend n'ya. Pero, mukhang nagtatrabaho na 'yun, ah. How old is Lee Ann? Hindi ba't mas bata s'ya sa atin nang isang taon?"
"Oo."
"So, she's just seventeen. Minor s'ya. Alam ba ng pamilya n'ya that she's dating an older guy?"
Nicko would normally say something to discourage the start of a rumor but not this time; he just couldn't seem to make himself care.
Besides, totoo naman. Mas matanda naman talaga 'yung lalaking 'yun kaysa kay Lee Ann.
"Should we report him?" Donald asked. "What if he is taking advantage of our classmate? Ano 'yun, wala lang ba tayong gagawin? Dapat siguro tayong makialam, 'di ba?"
Pero, kung i-re-report nila 'yung lalaking 'yun, sigurado ako na magagalit si Lee Ann sa akin because she is so blinded by her attraction to that man. Besides, it might even ruin her reputation at baka mag-drop-out pa 'yun dahil d'un.
"Wala naman tayong ebidensya na sila nga n'ung lalaki..." Nicholas hesitantly said.
"Nakita nga namin nina James na hinalikan si Lee, Bro. Eyewitnesses kami."
"That's not enough evidence."
"Pero, sabi mo nga ay inamin ni Lee Ann sa'yo na may boyfriend s'ya. You can be the witness—"
"Ayokong makisali d'yan..." Nicko mumbled. He was sure that Lee Ann would get mad at him if that would happen.
"Gusto lang naman kitang tulungan, Nicko. And the best way around this issue with Lee Ann being in a relationship with another man is to take the man out of the picture."
Tama s'ya. Pero, ayoko namang tuluyan nang magalit sa akin si Lee...
He smiled. "Thank you, Donald, pero ako na ang bahala."
"Ewan ko, Bro. Kung ako ang nasa lugar mo, I wouldn't think twice about doing something kung ang involved ay 'yung babaeng gusto ko. Lalo na, kung katulad n'yan, ay may rason ka naman para makialam," Donald said. "Don't tell me, wala ka na lang gagawin?"
"Hindi naman kailangang may gawin..."
But, he knew that what Donald said was true – Nick had to be removed from Lee Ann's life so she could realize her feelings for him.
But, he's a lawyer and his family is influential. That route might backfire. Besides, kapag nalaman ni Lee na ako ang nag-instigate n'un ay baka hindi na n'ya ako kakausapin. Or worse, they might get back at me and my family. Malaking gulo 'yun king sakali...
"Just make her realize na mas nababagay ka sa kanya, Nicko," he said out loud. "Dahil mas pareho kayo ng mga gusto, trip sa buhay, at wavelength dahil nga magkaedad kayo."
But, came second period and Lee Ann continued to ignore him even when they were in the same group for an assignment.
Galit ba s'ya sa akin, naiilang, nahihiya? he quietly asked himself as Lee Ann opted to sit with Bethany and Coral instead of taking the seat that he had reserved for her.
Nicholas inwardly sighed.
Ano naman kasi ang masama d'un sa ginawa ko? Nagsabi lang naman ako ng totoo. She can't just expect for my feelings to disappear just because she said so. 'Tsaka ilang beses na ba s'yang umiyak dahil sa lalaking 'yun? Ilang beses na s'yang sinaktan n'un?
Nicko knew that he should take matters into his own hands and find a way to talk to her. His chance came when he saw her heading to the library.
"Lee!" he called out. "Lee Ann!"
Lee Ann and the girls she was with stopped walking to look inquiringly at him.
He jogged over them.
"Hi, Nicko!" the other girls greeted him with friendly smiles. "Ka-group ka rin ba namin sa Fil 12?"
"Hindi," he replied returning their smiles. "Gusto ko lang sanang makausap si Lee Ann..."
The girls looked at each other.
It was Bethany who picked up the hint. "Lee, mauna na kami sa'yo. Magkita na lang tayo sa library," she said before they left.
Lee Ann looked inquiringly at her friend. "Ano 'yun, de Jesus?"
"Kumusta...?" Nicko awkwardly asked rocking back and forth on his heel. "I mean...hindi kasi tayo nakapag-usap ngayong araw..."
"Okay lang naman. Naging busy dahil a group report namin. Alam mo naman, kapag hindi last minute ay hindi natataranta. What do you want us to talk about?"
"Pwede ba tayong umupo muna?"
The young woman nodded following him towards an unoccupied bench.
They both sat down.
"O, anong pag-uusapan?" Lee Ann queried.
"Iniiwasan mo ba ako?" Nicko bravely asked.
"Oo," was Lee's honest reply.
"Aray naman..." Nicholas laughed softly. "Hindi mo man lang talaga dineny, eh."
"Bakit naman ako magsisinungaling?"
He sighed. "Kunsabagay...ikaw pa ba, eh, kilalang-kilala kita..."
He smiled tentatively at her. "Pwede bang malaman kung bakit?"
"Because I no longer feel comfortable..." she candidly answered and regretted seeing the flash of pain in his eyes.
"Gan'un...?" He smiled wanly.
"Nicko, I'm so sorry but—"
"Did he put you up to it?"
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
"'Yung boyfriend mo, sinabi ba n'ya sa'yo na iwasan ako?"
"We've talked about it and I would be lying kung sasabihin ko sa'yong hindi n'ya nabanggit," she told him. "But, avoiding you was my own accord."
"Sigurado ka ba na sarili mo ngang desisyon 'yan and you weren't manipulated into doing it by that guy, Lee?"
Lee Ann's brows furrowed. "What?"
"Because he is older and he can therefore manipulate you into doing his bidding, Lee. Baka nga gina-gaslight ka pa ng gagong 'yun pero hindi mo lang alam."
"What are you even saying?"
"Lee, use your head. He is older than you. Bata ka lang. Ginagago ka n'un."
"What the hell, Nicko? Are you really suggesting that my Nickolai is manipulating me into questioning my judgment and sanity?"
"Malay mo, gan'un nga ang nangyayari, 'di ba? I wouldn't put it past him kung pumatol s'ya sa isang batang katulad mo. 'Tapos ngayon ay pati ang mga taong malalapit sa'yo ay gusto pa n'yang iwasan mo? Is he threatened? Gan'un s'ya ka-insecure sa akin na talagang iuutos n'ya sa'yo na iwasan ako? Bakit, dahil ba aminado s'ya na mas magiging masaya ka sa akin? 'Yan ang problema rito, eh, because he knows that I am a better fit for you. Pero, ayaw ka pa rin n'yang pakawalan. Ang selfish ng taong 'yun—"
Lee Ann's expression was slowly growing dimmer. "Are you dumb?"
The young man stared at her in surprise.
"Seriously, Nicholas, am I really hearing all these from you?"
"Lee—"
She held up her hand up. "Teka lang at patapusin mo muna akong magsalita."
Nicko could only nod.
"Firstly, minahal, hinintay, at ipinagdasal ko si Nickolai Sandoval nang mahigit isang dekada. Araw-araw, Nicko. Walang palya. Sa loob nang mahigit sampung taon ay hiningi ko sa langit na ibigay s'ya sa akin. So, your narrative that I am being manipulated into becoming his fiancée is not only ludicrously untrue but also downright embarrassing. Secondly, iniiwasan kita because I was beginning to question the friendship that you are pretending to offer. How could someone who calls himself my friend practically asks me to cheat on my fiancé?"
"No, I didn't mean it that way..."
Lee Ann arched a brow at him. "Talaga?"
Nicko lowered his head.
"Thirdly, I have every right to set boundaries with anyone, including you. Fourthly, I cannot let you continue with this weird fixation on me by constantly entertaining your romantic advances hidden behind what you are calling our friendship. I cannot believe that you are calling yourself my friend while disrespecting me, my fiancé, and my choices."
"Wait—"
"No, let me finish."
Nicholas nodded sighing.
"Lastly, I already chose Nickolai Sandoval, Nicko. So, why would he feel threatened by you who's still trying to win my affection? My man is an accomplished lawyer, he has numerous businesses under his name, and he has countless accolades under his belt, why would you or any man in this universe be a threat to him? Why would he feel threatened by you whom I rejected?"
"Is that why you are choosing him? Because of his money—"
"Nakalimutan mo na ba kung sino ang kausap mo, de Jesus?" Lee Ann asked, her tone sharp. "I am not only Leandro Carbonel's youngest daughter but I am also Francoisca Lemercier of Le Mercier's Jewelries' only child. I earned my first million while I was still in my mother's womb. I don't need any man's money. Pinili ko si Nickolai Sandoval dahil mahal ko s'ya, gan'un lang 'yun kasimple, Nicko. Wala akong ibang kailangan sa kanya, pagmamahal n'ya lang."
She let out a heavy breath. "You might think that I am being unnecessarily harsh but I am just being truthful. Walang papupuntahan 'yang ipinaglalaban mo, Nicko. Walang kahihinatnan 'yang paghihintay mo sa akin. Please, tama na..."
"I just want to give it my all, Lee..."
"And that's a losing battle. You already know what the outcome is," she said in a gentler tone. "Nicko, kaibigan kita. Itinuturing kitang matalik na kaibigan. At ang totoo ay gusto ko sanang ipaglaban 'yung pagkakaibigan natin until I realized that I was fighting a losing battle, too, because you will never see me as just a friend. At ayaw kitang paasahin..."
"Kaya kong umasa."
"Then, you are giving me no choice but to end this friendship right here."
"Lee..."
"Nicko, I don't want to sacrifice my relationship just to continue being a friend to you. And I am sorry if I might have led you on. Hindi ko s'ya sinasadya. I admit that the attention you were giving initially flattered me but I have always been upfront with you. Hindi ko naman itinago na may iba akong gusto. Hindi ko ipinagkaila sa'yo na si Nickolai ang mahal ko. Hindi ko s'ya kahit kailan ipagpapalit sa'yo, Nicko. Hindi ko isasakripisyo 'yung taong mahal ko para sa'yo. At paulit-ulit kong sasabihin sa'yo, I chose Nickolai Sandoval over you and I will continue choosing him over others every single day."
He laughed bitterly. "Kahit sinasaktan ka n'ya? Ano 'yun, magtatanga-tangahan ka na lang?"
"Excuse me?"
"Bakit ang bilis mong nakalimutan 'yung mga panahong iniiyakan mo s'ya, Lee Ann? Sabihin na nating hindi n'ya alam na sinasaktan ka n'ya, pero—"
"Nicko, stop, please. I hate to hear you sound so desperate. Because I can see myself in you and I know that I have also felt that kind of desperation. It's pitiful to watch. Inuulit ko, please, tama na..."
He averted his face.
"I wore those shoes you are wearing once and I walked that path you're walking, too. At ang sakit-sakit pala na makita 'yun na nangyayari sa iba. Lalo na sa taong itinuturing mong kaibigan."
He smiled weakly at her. "Grabe ka naman, Carbonel, baka naman gusto mong bumusina..."
"Hindi. Kailangan mong magising d'yan sa pagpapakahibang mo."
"Hindi kahibangan 'to—"
"Anong tawag d'yan, pagmamahal?"
"Hindi ba?"
"That's your ego talking, de Jesus, and you know it. Hindi ipinagpipilitan ang pagmamahal..."
She let out a weary breath. "I, too, got rejected, Nicko. At parang ikaw ay parang tanga rin akong umasa noon. But, I knew when to stop. Luckily for me, when I stopped caring, he realized that it was painful for him to lose me..."
"Kailangan ko bang huminto muna for you to realize your feelings?"
"It's not possible to realize something that doesn't exist, Nicholas," she told him.
"Wow...sakit naman n'yan."
"I don't feel anything romantic towards you. When I look at you, all I see is a good friend. At bilang kaibigan mo na nag-aalala sa'yo, hayaan mong ako na ang umiwas para sa ating dalawa..."
He held her gaze and her heart broke, seeing his eyes slowly welling up with tears.
"Nicko—"
"It's okay..." he said, his voice thick. "You don't have to do anything, Lee. I'll set myself free..."