Adeline's Ροv
The week following Jordan's visit was uncomfortable to say the least.
Not only was Reign's absence eating at my peace, I couldn't make eye contact with my family either.
They were acting normal but every now and then I started feeling judgmental eyes on me —which I hundred percent blame my overthinking for.
I kept thinking what they might be thinking of me. I dated a guy so older than me and lied that there wasn't anything going on between us. My father asked me if I wanted to tell him something but I refused to confess.
Which led to me seeing a side of Ewan that I hadn't expected. The way he was beating life out of Jordan was a memory I can't forget no matter how hard I try to.
All the while Lucius and Rhyett stood there like mannequins not bothered by the monstrous side of Ewan. Rather encouraging him with silence —their sign of approval.
When I met him the next day, he was so calm and even joked with me that I started thinking if he even realizes what he's done or is it such a regular
occurrence in his life that mercilessly disfiguring someone's face isn't a big deal to him anymore.
I was traumatized by the event and more so by the fact that Jordan is dead. I know my family killed him. None of them have admitted to it but I'm not a fool. I can guess what a Mafia does to men who threaten their honor.
Fortunately nobody made me feel that my mistake made any difference in our relationship. Everyone was exactly the way they used to be. They were behaving so extraordinarily normal.
So after a few days, I accepted what had happened and tried moving on. I settled down my feelings and focused on what mattered —my little lives.
But then Josh told me Jordan has been missing for a couple of days and the police were investigating his disappearance. I couldn't tell him I knew anything related to the case. I could only express fake sympathy and that's what I did.
I wish the police never find him —not his corpse or his breathing body if he's still alive. I don't want my family to get in trouble.
I rushed to Lucius’ room to let him know that Jordan's parents have filed a missing person report. I was a panicking mess by the time he opened the door. I was sobbing for my involvement in a murder and the fear of getting caught then living without my kids in jail was killing me.
Lucius was shocked to see me in such a miserable condition and spent the entire night trying to convince me that nobody will ever touch a single strand of my hair.
He said everything was under control and I should forget anything ever happened. The officers investigating the case have already scrubbed out all proves.
All I had to do was to keep quiet. Under no circumstances should I reveal that I know anything related to the case —even to George or Josh.
When I had calmed down, Lucius brought up his biased side. He explained to me that Jordan paid for his sins and I shouldn't blame myself for it. None of it was my fault. The only thing I did wrong was hiding the truth from my family.
He said my attraction was natural because I was a child and didn't know any better. But Jordan shouldn't have reciprocated my feelings. And I shouldn't have trusted him.
Sometimes I still wish I hadn't had a crush on him in the first place. He would still be alive. But Lucius said men like him are better off dead or he would be destroying the life of some other minor.
When I think of it from this perspective, Jordan's action feels horrible. A seventeen year old shouldn't pursue a relationship with an eleven year old.
I thought I was older and more mature so the same rules didn't apply to me. But I was wrong. It was this understanding that I developed two years later that made me feel weird about him now.
His attraction towards me was sick. His love was sick. His plan was sick. He was sick.
—————
It's so weird meeting him now that he knows the truth.
He doesn't have the same smile he always has when he sees me. He doesn't rush to me and draws me in his arms. He just stays by his father and looks at me like he's seeing a stranger.
George steps up first and hugs me with the same warmth. I’ve been feeling so anxious about this meeting the whole day that when he rubs my back, I nearly broke down into tears.
This gesture is an indication of his acceptance. He’s telling me he still loves me the same. He isn't disgusted by me. He understands it wasn't my fault.
But the same can't be said for Josh.
I couldn't predict his reaction but I definitely didn't expect him to become distant.
I asked Lucius to call George two days ago and tell him the truth because I didn't have it in me to explain the horrible event. It was necessary to tell them the whole story. If they hadn't known it wasn't consensual, they'd ask about the father and I couldn't just lie.
But they're the last of people I have to tell my truth. Because they're family. I don't owe an explanation to the world. I won't let anyone else question the origin of my babies. Because they don't have any right to.
When George pulls back, he kisses my hair and says, “You look even prettier. I wonder if it's the pregnancy glow?”
I smile at him but the unsettling feeling remains. I wait for my brother. His acceptance matters to me as much as everyone else in my family. I want him by my side. I can't do this without him.
“Hey.” Josh finally says awkwardly.
“You’re late.” I joke to lighten up the mood.
“Traffic.”
Another awkward silence settles between us. But this time he doesn't let it last longer and walks forward, stopping when he is right in front of me.
“I should be careful now.” He mumbles more to himself.
He then leans forward and brings his arms around me. He barely grazes me before he pulls back quickly. I stare at him and contemplate what I should say. This isn't normal. I couldn't even register the hug before he finished it.
Is he so sick of me that he can't bear to touch me now?
George smacks his head. “When I said, hug her gently, I didn't mean she's gonna break if you put the least amount of strength.”
Oh thank God. I really thought this was it for us. I assumed our relationship was over. And I was so ready to cry myself to sleep tonight.
“But how am I supposed to know how gentle is gentle and how rough is rough?” Josh scowls at him.
I went ahead and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He carefully placed one hand on my waist to pull me closer while the other slightly ruffled my hair.
“This is gentle.” I told him, moving back. “Just don't press on my stomach and everything will be fine.”
“And don't run after her.” Ewan added.
“And don't drag her.” Julian said.
“And no shoving her arms or smacking her head.” Rhyett completed the list of rules.
Josh nodded to each instruction, taking them seriously. He didn't mind that they tried to dictate him, he was rather concerned to learn and it warmed my heart that he wanted to take care of me.
“Loser,” Josh called me. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” I smile at him and kiss his cheek.
He kissed my forehead and kneeled down before me saying, “Let me check in with the little things.” He then leaned towards my stomach and spoke softly. “Hey babies, I'm your coolest uncle; Josh. When you come out, you're gonna wanna only spend time with me because your mother is so boring and uncool.”
“Good thing they can't hear you yet.” I huffed.
He smiled and lowered his voice but I could hear him clearly. “Even if she's super mean, don't make my sister's life too difficult. Eat what she gives you, don't make her throw up. Don't hurt her with your kick or punches, you can try that on me when you're out. And don't move too much, she doesn't like it when someone disturbs her sleep.” My lips pull wide watching him talk to them like they would actually do what he says.
“Take care, little things.” He said and fist bumped either side of my stomach before standing up again.
“I brought you something.” He said and took out a container from George's tote bag. “Steak marinated in vinegar and seasoned with Mexican spices. Just the way you like it.”
He forwarded it to me and I took it awkwardly. “Um actually… I can't eat beef.”
“What?” He snatched it back. “Dad said it was safe to give you. I'm sorry I didn't know, I'll-” I cut him off.
“No, I can eat it. It's just that I throw up each time I sniff it.” I explain.
“Ohh. So no beef until you give birth?” He looked like he was feeling so bad for me.
“Not sure, maybe I will start craving it randomly.” I shrugged.
After a few more conversations I decided to make Josh a mug cake so I can prove to him I can actually bake. But I know he's gonna criticize it badly and then eat the whole thing anyway.
Atleast my oldest brothers care about my feelings. The younger ones focus more on making fun of me. I don't hold grudges but that doesn't mean I don't change their ranking on my favorite list based on their behavior.
When I went to the kitchen, Altas followed me. “I really need to start talking to your kids. Josh is trying to be their favorite.” He grumbled.
I laughed and suggested, “I don't think talking does anything. But you can always feed them what they like, then I'll tell them it was their wonderful uncle Altas.” He looked at me suspiciously but I still added, “They were asking for popsicles, oranges and five bags of popcorn lately.”
“Sure, they must have told you.” He said sarcastically. “Anyways I’ll get you that but you have to remember, whenever you can, you tell your babies about me —before and after they're born. Tell them I'm the best basketball player, I love you so much, I take care of you so much. I’d give them everything they ask for but in return they have to be biased with me.”
I chuckled and agreed to the fair terms. “Deal.”