"Don't leave me, please." The silver-haired princess begged.
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"If you're going to see Ciel, he's not here," Aiden informed me when I bumped into him outside the Moon Palace. "He'll be back soon, don't worry."
"Ciel? Is that the boy's name?" I asked.
Aiden nodded, a proud smile lighting up his face. "Yes, I named him that. Every time I gaze into his eyes, it's like looking at the sky. The name suits him perfectly, don't you think?"
To think that the one who should have protected him was the very person who had taken away his ability to speak and now he wasn't even given a name. I couldn't imagine what kind of life the boy had.
I know that the life of mortals has always been unbalanced—unfair being the word they often use to describe it. For all humans do is measure their lives to others and feel either bad or good about it. Comparing myself with others had never crossed my thoughts before when I was a Holy Maiden. However, since becoming human, comparing my experiences and future fate as an abandoned princess against those of others became like second nature to me.
But this time, the comparison fed my ego and made me feel momentarily relieved and glad that my life was better. Better than–
What a disgusting feeling.
"Sister? Are you alright? You look upset," Aiden's voice filled with concern broke through my thoughts. "Are you still worried about Ciel? From what I observed about him yesterday, he'll be fine. He seems to have found something he desires beyond mere survival."
"Really? Did he tell you that?"
"No. But! I know that he will ask-" Aiden responded before hastily covering his mouth. "Ah! I'm not telling you." He then stuck out his tongue.
I couldn't help but smile at his childish antics. "Fine, don't tell me. But can you at least tell me where Ciel went or is that another one of your secrets?"
He shook his head. "He's at the cemetery."
"Cemetery?"
"Just visiting his father's grave," he said casually.
His nonchalant tone made me at ease that I found myself nodding impulsively. "Ah, I see."
"Do you want to go to the garden? The gardener, who was that again? The small man with thick side burns."
"Art?"
"Yes, him. The new flower that Art planted had fully bloom. I think it was a pink pearl agat–agashte?"
"Oh, the agastache. I was with Art when he was planting those," I said. I was still collecting money from the knights and servants at the time, when I happened to see Art on my way to the church.. "They must be beautiful now."
"Agastache," Aiden pronounced. "I think you'll like it, sister. The chubby flower spikes are now tall with a beautiful mix of deep rose pink and soft pink flowers."
"Let's take a walk then." With that, I decided to spend my free time with Aiden while waiting for Ciel. Hand in hand, we strolled toward the garden.
But then, realization struck. "Hold on a minute! What do you mean grave?!"
"Well... After one of your escorts reported what happened at the orphanage, that despicable pervert man was taken to the room," Aiden said as we entered the garden.
The despicable pervert one should be me. I was the one who grabbed that man's third leg. Of course, I didn't hold it because I wanted to but it was the only option I had for the sake of the children, also I was extremely angry at that time and had this urge to crush something.
"Room? What room?" I asked, a sense of unease creeping over me.
"The torture room, of course."
I frowned slightly. "Uh... Where were you yesterday?"
Aiden took both of my hands, his expression filled with regret. "You were looking for me yesterday?" he asked. "I'm sorry I didn't come to see you right away. I was with father and Lucas in the room."
I understand why Edmund and Lucas were present in the torture room but for a child to witness someone being tortured. I couldn't help but stare at Aiden in dread.
Don't tell me he was taking notes on how to properly torture someone in the future. And that someone is... I quickly pushed the thought aside as my stomach twisted painfully. My relationship with my brother had been improving, let's not entertain the idea that he might someday torture me.
"And Ciel was with me," Aiden added. Seeing my horrified expression, he continued, "He said he wanted to see his father. I suppose for a kid who was forced to watch his mother being killed by that man, he'll do anything to see him suffer."
A heavy silence hung between us as we strolled around the garden.
"I'm glad that man is dead."
"His death was already set when he disrespected mother and especially after what he did to you," Aiden said, his expression darkening with anger.
"Did..to me?" I confusedly asked. Besides threatening me, I couldn't recall the man doing anything else.
"That man harassed you!" Aiden exclaimed in frustration as if he was talking to someone who's oblivious. "What are you so confused about? Did you lose your memory because you were emotionally shocked? That always happens to Lucas when Mykel brings up Lucas' first; he suddenly wears that same confused look you just had."
"Lucas' first?"
"I have no clue. Mykel wouldn't tell me, saying I was too young to understand. And don't change the subject!"
"I'm not changing the subject. You were the one– you know what, never mind." The captain was probably acting, evading the subject. For him to react like that it seemed to be one of his darkest secrets. I should bring that up when I get a chance.
"Sister, do you truly not remember?" He asked. He then let go of my hand and walked ahead of me. Deep in thought, he mumbled to himself, "Perhaps this is better for her."
Setting aside the horrible things he committed against his family, I couldn't shake the feeling of bewilderment. When did I become the victim of his harassment?
"...I think it's the other way around."
Aiden turned around with a frown on his face. "Why are you defending that despicable man? He violated your hand!"
Oy! Why are you looking at my hand with such disgust?!
When afternoon came, I found Ciel in the music room. A servant informed me that he had headed straight to the room upon his arrival and had been there for quite some time.
Seated by the piano, was the mute boy, his fingers dancing delicately across the keys. The room was filled with the echoes of simple chords, each press of a key and every pause between notes expressed his emotions without the need for words.
They said that music is a medicine for the heart and mind.
As I listened, my heart swelled with both joy and sadness, swept away by the flow of the melodies. It was as if he's telling a story.
His fingers froze mid-air, abruptly halting the sound. The mute boy was startled by my presence as he looked at me with a hint of panic in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, did I somehow disturb you?" I asked, pushing the door of the music room wider.
He shook his head in a fluster and hastily rose from the chair, bowing deeply—perhaps as a form of greeting.
I couldn't help but give a sad smile at the sight of this child. With a heavy heart, I crossed the room and enveloped him in an embrace.
After all he'd been through, his expression through music was deep. "Your melodies are so rich with emotion and kindness. Truly, music is a language all its own."
I could tell that he wanted to be embraced a little longer as I pulled away, stepping back. His forehead was slightly creased, his lips forming a pout.
"Ciel," I spoke his name softly.
The mute child's face lit up with an excited expression, his lips forming a bright smile. He must really like the name Aiden gave him.
"Who taught you how to play?"
He answered, his lips forming words as his hands gestured.
"I'm sorry, could you do it again?" I requested, raising my index finger.
Ciel obliged, repeating his response once more. Though I wasn't versed in sign language, I attempted to read his lips. Ciel seemed to become aware of my attempt and decided to switch to a more descriptive gesture.
Despite several attempts, I found myself still perplexed. I couldn't understand a thing. Was I truly this bad at lip reading?
As Ciel continued to gesture, his movements became more exaggerated that it seemed like a cow had taught him to play.
"Ah, so this is where you've been, princess," Lucas spoke as he entered the room. He held a box that piqued my interest, it was different from what he usually brings. Judging by its size it was not from Kook's Chocolat and Tea. He looked at Ciel and gave a warm smile. "You're here with our little guy. By the way, did you find anything?"
Ciel responded by moving both his hands in a sweeping motion, enthusiastically.
"I see. Thank you for cooperating, Ciel," Lucas said acknowledging the boy's help. "As for your reward, just let me know, and I'll take care of it."
Something must have happened while I was asleep yesterday.
Lucas turned to me with a knowing smile and asked, "Are you curious, princess?"
"No, not really," I responded flatly.
Lucas, pretending not to hear me, began to explain, "His father was part of a drug organization, and thanks to Ciel's help we finally got a lead because of the letters he found in his old house."
A drug organization... Why do I feel like I'm going to be involved in the future? What's this awful premonition?
Let's just hope Lucas and the others will successfully shut down the organization.
But then I found myself staring at Lucas in disbelief. "You understand what he said?"
Lucas nodded. "I once had a lover who was mute, but that story is for another time."
"Yeah sure," I said dismissively, and before the captain could act like a child and whine as to why I was mean to him I continued, "Then do you know what he's saying?"
I then told Ciel to relay his answer a while ago to Lucas.
"He said that his mother used to bring him to an inn where she worked, and the owner's sister would teach him to play the piano since her daughter had no talent in music. It was also where he worked after his mother passed away."
Ciel nodded in agreement, confirming Lucas's interpretation was accurate.
Where did the cow come from? Should I start learning sign language?
"Oh. Here, princess, take this," Lucas said handing me the rectangular box.
I opened it and stared at the object inside in puzzlement for a few seconds before I realized its use. I took out a single white glove. There was no other pair inside, just one single lone glove.
I remembered Aiden's disdainful expression this morning while glaring at my hand. Is my hand really that disgusting?!
Because of their overreaction, I had become conscious of my hand now and then, as if it was truly filthy. I made a mental note to burn this glove later.
Lost in contemplation about the glove and my damn hand, I was surprised at Ciel's action. The boy reached out, held my infamous hand in a delicate manner, and mouthed something.
"He's really thankful for saving him," Lucas interpreted.
A feeling of warmth washed over me as I was drawn to his blueish-grey eyes that conveyed genuine appreciation. He gently squeezed my hand and smiled brightly which gave an aura of innocence and purity that touched me to the core.
At that moment, his pure smile felt like a blessing, as if it cleansed my defiled hand. With a newfound sense of clarity, I decided to hide the gloves for the time being.
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CIEL
I had plenty of names and none of them were real. Even if my mother wanted to give me a name, she couldn't, for she was mute just like I was. Our voices were forcefully taken away and never will come back. We were imprisoned by a cruel man—a husband and a father. No one could save us.
"Who would save a mute woman and her son from a poor area?" The man reminded after he was satisfied beating us.
Right, no one.
I couldn't remember much as to when or why my tongue was taken away from me but all I knew was that man despised my very existence.
My nightmare from the past was like a shackle, a constant reminder that I would never live freely. A nightmare that will forever be engraved in my heart. A nightmare of a mute boy where he was forced to watch his mother die by that drunken man.
After my mother was killed, the man continued to live on drugs. The money my mother had saved and kept hidden was found and immediately spent it on drugs. And by the time I turned six, I was made to work and earn just to provide the man's alcohol and his favorite drug.
The first people who reached out and helped me were Missus Joosten and her family. It was because of them that I somehow survived. Missus Joosten allowed me to work in her inn and provided me with free meals. Since I was still too young to work long hours, Missus Joosten's younger sister taught me to play the piano so that I could earn my keep as a pianist in the evenings instead of serving the customers at the dining hall. In the afternoons, when I wasn't learning the piano, I would spend time with Missus Joosten's niece, who taught me sign language after returning from school.
Of course, the income I earned was never enough. A day came when the man dragged me out of the house in the middle of a snowstorm to sell me for a bag of gold coins.
Even though I was just a nobody, even if I was left alone, I still wanted to live. I wanted to know what life is without looking back in fear. It was why I never gave up life, not even when I was starved to death and beaten up by that man. I never gave up on my dream until now.
Children around my age die without much of a fight. Their cries rang in my ears and into my heart. I then accepted my fate. My dream ended when I was sold to be a sacrifice.
One more and I was next.
With a soft grunting sound I told to the last girl beside me, "I'm going to see my mom."
But I never thought that a fateful encounter with this selfless girl would change my broken life.
She who could save her own life chose to save and protect me from danger. A girl who was far beyond my reach extended her delicate hand to someone like me without hesitation.
And when I thought I would never see her again she appeared, alive and healthy. Even though she's like the children in the orphanage she stood tall against the cruel man. And once again, I was protected by her.
For the first time, I chose to become selfish and decided what I wanted for my reward which was easily granted by his majesty himself—a reward in exchange for selling out my father.
I once shed tears in front of my father's grave and those tears were not for him but because I was still alive.
I knocked on the door, waiting for her response.
"Come in. Ah– Ciel! Welcome back. How were the lessons?"
A chance—I was given a chance to dream once again, but my dream was no longer as before. Despite all I had been through, I was grateful. And although I was not truly free I chose to live for the sake of my savior.
For my princess.